Never were the halls so still and silent that I could hear the smallest beetle scurrying behind the walls.
Never had the word "lonely" meant anything until I could talk to no one.
Never was I so free to feel, but so unwilling to.
I couldn't help but wonder what she thought of the way I told her to go. I wasn't gentle or kind about it. I was demanding. Ordering.
But I wouldn't change it.
If somewhere in me, I had found a way to reverse time at just speaking a word, I wouldn't have. She'd still be gone.
She was like a bird, needing to fly in the open sky, not be locked up in a cage.
LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITH A MONSTER.
I shook my head, trying to get the Beast to go away.
No, I replied. Not a monster. You weren't out for most of the time.
That shut it up.
With her being gone, it meant I was finally free to feel. There was no danger of me hurting anyone because of my actions.
But freedom to feel is both a blessing and a curse.
Everything that I forced myself to hold back teetered on the edge of unleashing in a humongous tidal wave.
A tidal wave that, if it let loose all at once, would allow the Beast to take control permanently.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO, LITTLE PRINCE.
No, actually, I'm sure that I don't. I just want--
I paused. What did I want? I wanted to be free of the creature that wore my skin. I wanted out of the castle, away from the forest and away from buildings. I wanted freedom.
But I didn't want it alone.
My fingers brushed against the uneven surface of metal. I held the silver mask in my lap, fingering it gently, tracing over the designs on its surface.
The old, worn thing gleamed faintly in the small bit of sunlight peeking through a space in the curtain. The mask was tarnished from the two hundred-plus years I had it.
For years, I didn't want to get rid of it. I didn't want it to leave my sight. It wasn't all because of the fear that I would be seen without it.
It was because of who gave it to me.
With just one quick glance across the room, the wooden box holding Rosalie's last gift to me danced across my vision. But, while a chain with a decoration was from her, a silver mask was from my son.
I could still watch them die. The silver sword would always run through Rosalie's chest, then draw back, coated with metallic red. Then that would always move to Henry Scott.
And always lop off his head in a shower of crimson paint.
The duke's son would always laugh.
I closed by eyes. Watching everything unfold was never what I wanted to do, but it could bring me back to reality when I needed to be.
After Rosalie's body hit the ground, I lost it. Something deep inside me snapped, like a switch had been flipped. The part that I could never remember was always the part I wished I could reverse the most.
And that part left me standing alone in the courtyard, everyone else dead by my hand.
WHY DO YOU STRETCH YOUR LIMITS, PRINCE?
I stared at the mask harder and lifted it up. Because, Beast, remembering is all I can do. I can never forget, or reverse it, and that's good. I need to let it go.
YOU WISH TO FORGET YOUR FAMILY?
For the first time, I confused the Beast. I rose from the chair and held the mask up to my face.
"Ra--"
A wave of sadness hit me, sending sharp pain racing up my spine. For one second, Raul was not dead in my mind. I swallowed the rest of my sentence and fumbled with the strings on the mask, trying to fasten it correctly.
No. I don't want to forget the people I've lost. They've made me who I am. I just can't dwell in the past any longer.
SO YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
I chuckled and let go of the strings, my mask finally tied on. Rosalie, Henry Scott, Lilia, Raul. Even Lizaveta, because I don't believe she'll come back. I've lost all of them, all in various ways. And yes, it hurts. It's pain. It's pain that I can't wholly feel because of you. But I need to let them go.
Beast was silent. Never before had I thought the way I was thinking. It must have surprised him.
The strongest emotion, Beast. I think I felt it the day in the snow. I don't want to lose that feeling.
A loud pop echoed throughout the castle. I felt like a dog, attention immediately captured at whatever made the noise.
Castle settling?
MORON. WHEN HAS THE CASTLE "SETTLED" BEFORE?
Time to go check it out.
No one lived in the castle except for me. Noises like screams and pops shouldn't have been made.
I touched the cool metal of my mask, making sure it was securely fastened. If somehow, the thing making the noise was Lizaveta, the mask could come off. If not, then mask would stay on.
The claws on my right hand grew out, just a little bit. I kept my breathing at a slow pace. Carefully, I opened the door to my room, not letting it groan under use.
Silent.
Blackness engulfed everything, keeping it held in its embrace. Not one curtain fluttered with the wind, not one noise was to be heard.
Wishful thinking.
I turned and briskly walked to the steps. I paused at the top and ran my hand over the smooth railing. If I focused enough, I could still see her flushed face and hear her stumbling of words as she tried to come up with a good excuse as to why she was on the ground. My lips twitched up into a smile.
That girl and her lies. She really needs to work on them.
I ran my hand along the railing, slowly moving down the stairs.
Thwap.
Lightning shot through my body, starting at the space in between my shoulder blades. My foot banged against the next step, stopping me from falling. I clawed at my back, trying to find what hit me. My fingers brushed against a hard surface.
Knife.
That was all that clicked. That and the thought of who the heck threw it.
I clenched the railing so tightly my knuckles turned white. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the silhouette of the man who threw the blade. He reached down to the belt fastened around his waist and pulled out another knife.
Off the stairs. Now.
I unclenched my hand from the railing, coming away with the splinters of the rail. The fastest way down? Jumping. I swung my legs over the remnants of the handrail and leaped from the stairs.
I bit back a cry of pain once my knees hit the ground from the fall that would've killed a normal human being.
Perks of being not normal and not human.
I reached back, trying to find the knife in my back. My fingers brushed up against the hilt. Gritting my teeth, I wrapped my hand around the blade and tugged at it the best I could, loosening it from my skin.
It fell to the ground, not even coated with blood. The place it was in my back had already healed. I scooped it up quickly and ran behind the wall ahead of me.
Why is someone here?
I kept my breathing steady, aware of every noise I made.
"Aw, come on Beast. I know you're still here. You're not dead yet," a deep voice--a dark voice--called out. His words were laced in amusement.
I didn't answer. He was close; his uneven breaths were loud.
"You know, she never said you'd be silent. What, don't know how to talk?"
She.
I clenched my teeth. She. He said "she." Lizaveta.
What did he do?
COME ON, PRINCE. GET MAD. LET ME OUT.
No.
The man's arm swung around the corner. In one quick motion, I grabbed it and yanked him to the ground. He hit the floor hard, the air leaving his mouth in a rush.
I couldn't hold back my complete rage at the dark-haired boy huddled on the floor below me. I bent down, feeling my claws puncture his arm.
"What are you doing here?" I growled. The deep rumble that left my mouth was all Beast.
The man laughed.
Laughed.
He was lying on the floor with a creature bigger than him threatening him, and he had the nerve to laugh.
"Oh, so the frightful Beast can talk!" he cried in delight.
I growled and squeezed his arms harder. "Among other things. Who are you?"
He didn't answer.
"WHO ARE YOU?"
He grinned. "Don't look up."
My eyes widened and I darted to the side, in just enough time that the knife dangling above my head fell in between the man's legs.
He sighed and grabbed the knife. "Come on! I didn't say move. I just wanted you do die quickly."
He thinks that'll kill me?
"What's the difference between that knife and the last one?" I taunted. "They don't seem to be working well for you."
He smirked. "In honor of tradition, I'll tell you my name, then you tell me yours."
I hung back near the wall, waiting for him to move. "What tradition is this?"
"Well, the one dying must always know their killer, correct?"
I smiled, knowing that he couldn't see. "And I'm the one supposed to be dying, huh?"
The nameless man clapped. "Points to the monster!"
He twirled the knife in his hands. "My name is Vadik. Yours?"
Vadik. I'd seen him one before, once when he was in the castle, once when we fought. Lizaveta--he was her friend.
So why was he trying to kill me again?
"I have none. I am just the Beast."
Vadik tilted his head and awwed. "That's not what she said, Brennen."
Hearing my name come from the person in front of me sent a punch to my gut. I growled again, this time louder than ever. "What did you do to her?"
He reached inside his armor plate and pulled out a silver chain, barely noticeable in the dark room. And the end dangled a little silver cross. Vadik threw it over to me. "She's dead."
No. He's lying.
But the necklace was real. It wasn't fake. She had also said that it'd never come off.
"You lie!" I roared.
Vadik guffawed. "You think I'd lie about something like that?"
No. Nonononono. Slowly, I sank down to the floor, cradling the necklace in my hands like it was the last lifeline to the earth I had.
In a way, it was.
I gripped the chain harder. She can't be dead.
The presence of flames at my feet made me snap out of it. I jumped up and ran to the other side of the room.
Where did he learn to do that!
"If it's any consolation, Brennen the Beast, she cried for you before I slit her throat."
Slit her throat.
The familiar pain of changing didn't shoot up my back. That's because I let all my emotions out at once, though. The Beast was more than likely overwhelmed by the sheer amount I had stored up for him.
In one quick movement, I leaped on top of Vadik, my claws tearing into his shoulder. He jerked his over arm upward.
And stabbed me in the side.
I staggered back and pulled the blade out. It felt as if my insides suddenly caught on fire.
"Anything different about this one, Beast?" Vadik cried. He moved his injured shoulder up and down, circling it.
There was something different. Blood dripped from my side, staining my dark shirt red. Every breath felt like the knife was traveling deeper into my side, but it was out.
My wound wasn't healing.
I pressed my hand to it, trying to slow the flow of blood. "Vespers. I'm guessing you've figured it out then?"
My words were strained.
He nodded proudly. "All by myself."
"Makes this fairer, then."
Vadiksmirked, then thrust his hand out. Blue flames came racing out of his fingertips, straight toward me. I dodged the fire, rolling to the right.
Vadik ran up to me and sliced again with a knife. I swept his legs out from under him, making his back hit the floor. I swiped at his neck, he rolled.
We repeated the dance of death over and over, neither of us going to give up first.
But my movements were slowing.
The first stab Vadik got in was obviously where he wanted it. I was tiring, and quickly. Warm, sticky blood ran into down my stomach and onto the floor, leaving trails of ruby wherever I went.
Vadik excelled at hand to hand combat. He knew magic.
Neither of which I was doing well at that moment. Magic would drain too much of my energy. It would leave me waiting for him to finish me off. And I was moving too slowly to successfully fight him with just my claws.
I swiped again at him, finally hitting my mark. He screamed and fell back, clutching at his left eye.
Beast, are you going to come out anytime soon?
Of course, no answer.
I heaved, trying to catch my breath. Vadik curled into a ball on the floor, clutching at his face.
He was finished.
I grabbed the neck of his shirt and hoisted him off the ground. "You have caused too much trouble to be left alive."
His mouth opened to a smile. Blood stained the inside of his mouth. His hand left where his eye was, showing that it was gone. "Kinisi."
My eyes widened. There was no time to move.
No time to do anything before a sword plunged into my back.
I looked down. The blade tore through my chest--through muscle and bone and out the front. The metallic silver was a shade of dark crimson. White-hot fire burned my body, cutting off all air.
Vaguely, I felt my knees hit the floor. I gazed up at Vadik who grinned like a maniac. There was no hope that the blade wasn't coated in vesper blood.
Vadik strolled around to my back. His hand brushed against my shoulder gently.
The pressure of his hand on the blade was like a fire burning from my chest. He leaned close to me, twisting the sword around and around.
I could barely groan.
"And she said you were unkillable."
And he yanked the sword out, still twisting it while he pulled.
An unearthly yelled broke free of my lips. My back arched, tilting my head up to the ceiling. Blood filled up my lungs, drowning me.
I fell on my forearms. The movement that shouldn't have hurt sent a shudder through my body. I took a raspy breath, trying to breathe through the flames.
The air caught in my throat, then came back up in short, powerful bursts. The ground under me was painted a dark red.
Vadik laughed. "Not so powerful now, are you Beast?"
Black spots danced in front of my eyes. You realize, Beast, that if I die, you die too.
It--he--was silent.
You come out when I don't want you, but now, when I give your control, you don't move an inch. How ironic.
WHY SHOULD I? YOU FINALLY HAVE YOUR WISH. YOU GET TO DIE.
And if I don't want to die anymore?
Beast fell silent. If it could be thinking, it was.
THEN THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, THEN, IS THERE?
A hard blow hit my back, pressing me to the floor. Vadik may as well have been standing on me.
"Looks like I beat you."
L
My hand shook.
No. My whole body shook.
I smiled slowly, feeling Beast start to take control. "Ever--ever hear of the phrase 'You can beat my body, but you can't beat my spirit'?"
I pushed myself up from the ground, ignoring the screams of agony from my body.
Vadik backed up, surprised at me standing.
"This is my spirit."
The change wasn't as painful as it always was. Whether it be because my pain meter was maxed out, or because I let it come willingly, I couldn't figure out.
But for the first time, I welcomed the change. Embraced it.
And the Beast came out.
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