Carter’s POV:
Every fiber in my body trembled with fear. I held onto my phone in a tight grasp while I did a full turnaround to see if he had appeared out of the dead of day. I was alone but I knew I wouldn’t be any longer than I would hope. No matter how much I wanted to scream and no matter how much my eyes prepared for tears, I knew I wasn’t going to cry. My emotions of pure anger filled my body faster than the feeling of sadness or pity for myself. My grasp around my phone clenched tighter and tighter as the tips of my fingers turned ghost white. With one swift motion I threw my phone across the pavilion. Everything felt like a blur right then and there. I didn’t even hear the sound of my phone cracking into a million pieces. It just laid there broken on the cold cemented floor. After all the times I’ve thrown my phone, it decided to break at the worst time possible.
I let out a dry laugh. How ironic.
My feet moved towards the broken electronic as I took it and saw the damage that had been done. It was definitely broken. Tiny cracks and small left over pieces of glass rubbed against my cold stiff fingers. Even though I knew my phone wasn’t responsive anymore, I still tried to make it work but not even my constant jabs would allow me to see that text message one more time. I needed to see if it was real. Maybe I was just imagining it? Maybe I was going to wake up from this hell of a nightmare.
But I wasn’t, because what stood in front of me was the bitter truth. The truth of knowing that he had finally found me no matter how far I thought I escaped him. I wanted to feel in denial of it all, oblivious of that text message but the facts beamed over me like a spotlight. The numbness in my body made everything feel so cold. Even though I felt the stinging pain of tears forming, I didn’t feel the need to cry. Why cry? It’s not going to change a damn thing. The pain was real. The text was real. But yet I didn’t want to believe any of it.
“You know I am without a doubt certain I can whoop your arse on that field any time, any day Harry. Hell I can do it in my sleep-” Louis’ voice echoed through the vacant pavilion. I turned around trying to find a pillar I could hide behind but I was already spotted. If I ran, it would raise questions or just make me look just plan immature, so I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Carter! Hey I thought you went back to class?” Harry stopped a few feet in front of me. His eyes were like facial readers. He knew something was up. Dammit.
“I wanted to look over some pictures I took-” I was interrupted when I heard a gasp escape from Louis’ big mouth.
“Holy crap Carter!” His blue eyes connected with my phone that fell from my hoodie pocket. “Who the hell would do this to a phone so precious to humanity?!” Louis’ voice screeched in pure horror while Harry’s eyes narrowed right at me. The color in his cheeks grew with anger just like mine. I took a deep breath trying to think of a way to cover up this crap of a mess.
“It was an accident. I tripped over my shoe laces and I guess my phone fell from my back pocket.” I muttered quietly, looking down at my feet. What type of lie was that?
I guess Harry caught onto my dumbass excuse, “Bullshit.” His tone was menacing. He called me on my bullshit like I had done to him once before. Payback was definitely a bitch. “You didn’t have your phone in your bum pocket when I saw you last.”
Even though I knew he would catch me on my lie, my anger grew immensely. Yes he knows about what happened with Trevor but he has no right to know more than what he already does. He shouldn’t even know about Trevor period.
“Why were you staring at her arse Harry?” Louis patted Harry’s back trying to comfort his embarrassment but there was no hint of shame masked on his face. There was only anger. Louis looked back and forth at an attempt to figure out what exactly was going on between the both of us but he soon lost interest. “You’re lucky she doesn’t take this phone from my hands and aim it at your groin just like she did a couple of days ago. By the way Carter I bow down to you for that even though it was a mere accident.” Louis smirked at Harry while handing me back my phone.
My pursed lips turned into a forced smile, “Thanks Louis.” I looked down at my wrist watch and grabbed my camera trying to get the hell out of this tension filled air, “Well this confrontation on how I broke my phone was fun! Hey maybe we can do it later when I actually feel like being interrogated!” My voice was sarcastic but I didn’t give a damn. I began walking towards the main building when a large hand pulled me back by my elbow.
“Carter,” Harry whispered in my ear while as I saw Louis walk towards the trash bin throwing away a blood stained tissue. “I can tell something is going on and I am not leaving you alone until you tell me what is on your mind.”
“You want to know what’s on my mind?” My teeth were clenched as he nodded eagerly. “You’re annoying the hell out of me, so if it’s alright with you, I would like you to leave me alone. I need to figure out how I am going to tell my mom I broke my damn phone!”
“Are you going to come up with yet another crappy lie or are you going to keep it a secret and wait until it comes out? I mean you did that to Sophie when she found out about me.” His jawline contracted in fury as his hot minty breath hit my cheeks. He was trying to get me angry so I can tell him out of anger what I was trying to hide. Well it wasn’t going to work so easily.
“Fuck you.” Regret filled my eyes as those two words spilled out of my mouth. Anger always gets the best of me but he didn’t look hurt by my words. He’s probably heard it many times before.
“Well shit! What the hell did I just walk in on?” Louis came up behind a pillar, just looking at us in confusion.
“Nothing.” I shook off Harry’s tight grasp he still had on my elbow, “You know mine and Harry’s relationship. Sarcasm works for us.” I let out a forced laugh but neither of them bought it.
“I guess you two will have to continue this little sarcastic fest later on. Harry come on mate before we are late for athletics.” Louis grabbed his backpack from the outside table right beside us and began to walk towards the field but stopped when he noticed Harry was still planted in the same position as before. “Harry hurry the hell up!”
Harry never broke eye contact with me making me feel uncomfortable, “I need to talk to my father for a bit. I don’t think I can make it to athletics.”
“What the hell am I supposed to tell Coach Cameron? You know how much it pisses him off when you skip athletics!” Louis ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“Just tell him I will give him a damn excuse later Louis!”
“You tell him yourself Harry! I am not covering your arse any longer.” Louis shook his head and threw his hands up in surrender walking towards the field leaving me and Harry alone. Crap.
“I think we are going on a little field trip right now.” Harry’s voice was full of authority making me feel like a child and I hated that.
“I’d rather not. Now unlike you I am not skipping class just to get away.”
“Carter I am excellent at solving puzzles and what little information you are giving me is making me impatient. I will solve your dumb excuse for a lie sooner or later so it won’t help you if you push me away or make up yet another damn lie to cover up the old one. Now I am looking at your phone and it is shattered. Shattered Carter! That was not from a trip, it was from a throw. Am I right?” I shook my head slightly but he took that as a different answer. “I’ll take that as a yes. So that’s one piece to the puzzle but I’m still trying to figure out how many pieces I am missing exactly. Let me try to get another piece…The last time you threw your phone it was because of a text message you received from your sister but what I tried to figure out then was why the hell would she throw her phone because of a text message from her sister?” His hands met the back of his neck as he looked at me with a cocky grin, “Then it hit me! It wasn’t your sister! It had to be someone else! But even then you never told me who it was! But get this Carter I am connecting the dots you so desperately want to keep invisible. You were so angry that you felt the need to get rid of your phone, trying to break it to erase that text message and just your luck! When you threw your phone, it hit me! Me! Now I’ve seen you angry, I’ve seen you caught in a lie and I’ve seen your facial expression change when Trevor is being related to any subject just like today in English. So let me ask you a question and I want you to give me a truthful yes or no answer. Will you do that for me?” I rubbed my eyes expecting me wipe away the tears that never fell, so I nodded slowly. I heard him let out a sigh of relief.
“What’s your question Harry?” My teeth were clenched making my jaw ache in the applied force.
“Was that text message about Trevor or related to Trevor in a way?” I knew he would ask me this question. Even if I was the best at keeping secrets or lies, he would see right through me. Why was he so damn good at solving puzzles, especially crappy ones like mine? He was my hope in my infinite darkness even when I didn’t want him to be.
“It was an unknown number.” I choked out before I sat down on the table right beside me. Harry’s facial expression was unreadable, his eyes were dark and his whole body grew ridged.
“What did it say?” His index finger and thumb tightened on his jaw while he looked at me waiting for a reply.
“I-I don’t remember…” Lie. I remember every syllable on that damn message.
“That is a fucking lie Carter!” Harry’s voice boomed in complete silence as I jumped in fear. “Please just tell me. I won’t get angry at you; I just want to know what you are keeping from me. Please Carter.” His raspy tone begged me to tell him the one thing he couldn’t solve. What that text message said.
“Someone found me.” My whisper came out so small not even I could hear it, but Harry heard it loud and clear. I knew it because as his fists began to form, the color in his eyes vanished. His once light green eyes that filled with concern and passion turned into something dark, something threatening making me fear him. His anger was overtaking him faster than the feeling of temptation. I couldn’t take back what I just said even though I knew I shouldn’t have told him but he was the only person I could tell. “That’s what the text message implied. It said, just because you’re an ocean away from me doesn’t mean you’ve escaped me. Nowhere near.”
“I’m going to kill him.” I winced at those five words that came out of his pursed lips. I knew he would harm Trevor if he ever came into view of him. Never had I ever seen Harry fight, but I’ve seen the damage he has done to those that come near him when he was angry. Noah was one of those victims. When Harry punched Noah across the face, Noah’s face was swollen and purple with blood stains on his v-neck tee. And that wasn’t even the worst of what he could do, I knew it deep down inside that if Harry really put his mind to harming Trevor, he would do it. His anger was capable of getting the best of him and that is what feared me the most.
“Harry how are you so sure it’s him-” I wasn’t exactly protecting Trevor, I wanted him beaten and bruised just like he left me but I was protecting Harry. I didn’t want him to risk his life on beating the crap out of Trevor just because of me. What would his dad say? What about his mom?
“Carter! You know it’s him, I know you do and I can tell just by looking in your eyes you are in fear! When Louis and I walked towards you, I saw you trembling! You are visibly terrified and it’s because of that son of a bitch! I will fucking kill him if he ever gets filthy hands on you again!” His hands were gripping my shoulders tightly as he looked directly in my eyes. Our breathing ceased for a few seconds while we just stood there looking at each other. In that very moment, I knew he would do anything for me. He wanted to keep me safe.
Because he was my best friend. And that’s what best friends do for each other.
“Look I need to go talk to my father, but can you meet me in my car? Please? For me?” Harry’s eyes begged me to do this one little thing for him but I can’t be alone with him. Not when I felt this vulnerable.
“I have study hall with Nat. She’ll raise questions when she notices I’m missing-”
“Study hall doesn’t matter. Mrs. Green spends most of her time in her office or keeping watch for couples making out behind the bookshelves-”
“Mhmm-” I raised my eyebrow in suspicion.
“Shut up Jarvis.” He said with a slightly blushing smile. “My point is she won’t notice you are gone. And don’t worry about Nat. If she gives you a problem, just tell her Ms. Remington needed to talk to us about some of our pictures. Now I’ll go return our cameras and get our things.” He reached inside his hoodie and removed his Brentwood lanyard from his neck. “You still remember my car?”
“Black Range Rover?” I asked as he handed me his keys.
“Yeah, if you see any teachers just keep walking. They won’t say anything if you don’t look like you’re up to no good-”
“Oh yeah skipping class doesn’t look suspicious.”
He ignored my sarcastic dig, “I need to talk to my father for a few minutes. Lock the doors and if I’m not there in fifteen minutes then just wait.”
“But what if I get caught-”
“Carter live a little. Take a breather. It’s not like we’re leaving campus grounds.”
“In that case where the hell are we going?” I twisted my the lanyard around my finger causing the blood flow to cease but Harry grabbed it from me and placed it around my neck.
“It’s a secret, but just remember you’re safe when you are with me. Best friends look out for each other remember?” Harry winked at me in a jesting matter. “Now I trust you not to ram my car into a tree. I’m not giving you permission to take it on a joy ride.”
“I’m not going to drive your precious baby.” I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. His dimples deepened as he smiled at the ground.
“I wouldn’t mind teaching you how to drive on the UK side, but I just don’t want you to get hurt. One day I will teach you, just not today when you have a lot of things on your mind.” He kissed my forehead and began walking towards the front office while I just stood there feeling my body go warm with the touch of his lips on my skin. The feelings that boy can give me.
-
By the time I was able to walk out of the halls of Brentwood, the teachers were already in their respected classrooms giving lectures to students that were ready to escape prison. When I found his car, I quickly jumped to the passenger seat and pulled out my phone but realized I couldn’t do anything with it so I left it in the cup holder while I looked around Harry’s car. A notebook was thrown in the backseat with a pair of his muddy soccer shoes beneath his seat. Other than that, there was nothing I expected to see. I saw his iPod laying on the driver seat so I picked it up and looked through his playlists. Coldplay, The Script, Boyce Avenue and Snow Patrol were some of the many bands he listened to which made me smile. I was expecting him to listen to music that had no meaning but his taste in music was incredible.
“You know it’s rude to look through peoples belongings Jarvis.” Harry jumped into the driver’s seat making me drop his iPod in his lap in embarrassment. I’ve been caught, but I decided to poke fun at him.
“You know it’s rude to stare at girls asses Styles.” I smirked at him when he finally realized he had been put in his place once again. An expletive word escaped his lips as he started the car.
“I do not know what you are talking about…” His cheeks were scorching in a mere seconds as shook his hair out of his face and put his left hand behind my head rest and started to reverse out of the parking lot.
“How did you know I didn’t have my phone in my butt pocket today?” I bit my lip while watching his dimples deepen yet again in embarrassment. He began to make his way further towards the back of Brentwood, closer to the woods and far from the soccer field.
“It was just a thought. I mean your phone is kind of big and girls bum pockets are really tiny…”
“Yeah that’s totally it…” I eyed him carefully with a grin forming on my lips.
“You love putting me in my place don’t you Carter?” He put his car in park and turned to look at me while I stared at a two story house with a large wooden modern…cabin. “Welcome to my home away from my dorm.” My blood turned ice cold as I stared at dark green vines covering his two leveled home like a blanket. Tall trees towered all around the exterior and glass windows with light covered shutters made it look inviting and warm but memories hit me like a tornado. “Carter, are you okay?” Harry unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at me in worry. “I know it’s weird to step foot into a guys home, but I’m not going to try anything on you. I swear to God I will not do anything to you, I mean we are best friends, right?” He let out a nervous chuckle and grabbed my hand while looking at me.
“It’s not that, it’s just I’m not a big fan of cabins.”
“It may look like a cabin on the inside but I can assure you, it’s nothing like an old dusty cabin. Take a look inside and if you don’t like it, we can leave. But we do have a ping pong table so if that doesn’t lure you in, I don’t know what will.” He said while rubbing his thumb over my cold skin. I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out of his car. Within seconds he was right beside me ready to hold my hand but I had them in the pocket of my hoodie. I wasn’t keen on stepping foot in a cabin ever again after that day but I’ve done it once before and I knew I would have to overcome that fear once again. I couldn’t back down just because of horrific memories. If I did, where would I be?
As soon as Harry opened his front door, the smell of autumn hit me even though it was the first week of September. White cream furniture was placed in the dark chocolate wooden paneled living room, a fireplace was in the corner of the far right dining room and a modern kitchen was open to the back of the cabin. A large staircase was hidden behind a bookshelf leaving the second floor open like a balcony.
“Now tell me, does it look like a crappy cabin?” Harry said with a smirk as he threw himself on a sofa.
I laughed and walked towards him. “That’s for sure.”
“Why are you so afraid of cabins Carter? I remember the party we had a couple of days ago, you looked terrified to step foot into it…” He asked while patting the place right next to him. I sighed and sat right beside him.
“I’m sure Sophie told you about that night, but she didn’t give you the full detail. That first night of summer, Trevor had taken me to a party his friend Mason was throwing and well long story short, cabins don’t hold the best of memories for me.” I gave him a small smile and saw his jaw contract.
“I need to ask you something. Something that is coming out of nowhere but it’s been bothering me since I found out.”
“Let me have it.” I sighed as I glanced up at him; his warm hands found mine and held onto them tightly.
“Why isn’t that bastard in jail? I mean it would be common sense for someone that does that type of thing to be sent to prison. Why is he still roaming around freely?” Harry asked me while his eyes desperately searched for an answer.
My hands began to release from his but he held his soft grasp. A part of me knew he would ask this question, I mean I asked myself the same question multiple times even though I knew exactly why Trevor wasn’t behind bars like I’d like him to be, “Power is everything right?” I let out a soft chuckle as I licked my lips.
“I’m not sure what you mean by that-”
“Trevor’s family holds power in Portland. His father is chief of police, his mother is the district attorney, his older brother Eli is the governor’s daughter’s fiancé,” I hadn’t realized I was clenching my fists until Harry brought them to his lips and kissed them softly. They unclenched in seconds as I took in another deep breath. “The damn list can go on. Trevor is set to have a full football scholarship to Notre Dame and he is willing to do anything to protect his name. I knew I never stood a chance against him, I mean look at who I was up against! It would be his name against mine. He would make sure I looked like a desperate whore that wanted sex, when he was the one that grew hungry for it day by day. Before that day I was his puppet. He played me, he used me and he made sure to leave me dead and dry at the end.” I took a step back and sat down on Harry’s couch, “I couldn’t go anywhere. I was in home confinement in my own home. My mom feared I would get hurt from some students at Portland High and I couldn’t blame her. I got death threats and things thrown at my house for a month straight. My best friend Emma stopped talking to me when I tried to explain what happened. I guess Trevor and Mason got to her before I did, I really don’t know and I frankly don’t give a damn. I didn’t feel like explaining myself to the people who didn’t know me, I felt like an explanation wasn’t needed when Trevor would just twist his words in favor of him. I feared him more than anything. He was the monster that hid in my closet and he seemed to find a home there. It felt like I was being watched constantly by him and his friends. Just imagine what would have happened if people found out the star quarterback, son to Portland Royalty and friend to many almost raped his girlfriend? Now that would be one hell of a story for the newspaper, wouldn’t it?” A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips while I put my hands on my knees just looking at the ground watching Harry’s white converse come closer to me.
“Power isn’t everything. People that lose that type of control can’t hold anything against you. He should have fucking gone to jail Carter, he needs to pay for the hell he has put you through and one day he will. You may not be sure when that will happen and I sure look forward to that day but you needed to tell someone other than your family when it happened. Imagine what your father would have done? I am sure he would make that son of a bitch beg for mercy.” Harry’s hands were placed on my knees; his jawline became definite just looking at me.
“Well it’s too late. There is no evidence to show what he did. All the evidence is invisible. The emotional pain overtakes the physical pain he put me through.” I shivered slightly when I felt Harry’s hands leave my knees for a moment.
“I can assure you, you will not go through that pain ever again.” The color of his eyes melted as his anger died down slowly. Every bit of him pulled me closer to him. He was luring me in just by being him. His hands met mine as our fingers slowly began to intertwine together but I let go almost immediately when I felt a warm sensation run through me like electricity. As soon as the distance between us grew, another shiver escaped me. “Are you cold Carter?”
“Not really-” I began to say but he got up and began to walk down the hall near the family room far away from where we were. He was walking towards his bedroom. Crap.
“Your jumper is too thin. I think I should give you one of my football jumpers. There’s an excuse for you to get rid of Noah’s if you’d like. Mine is better.” When he opened his bedroom door, I honestly didn’t expect what my eyes lad upon.
A full sized white comforter bed was pressed against the unpainted wall in the middle of his spacious room. Dark maroon curtains were pushed aside letting what little sunlight to come in through the massive windows and what confused me the most was standing vertically against the right side of his room were shelves of books, some old writings and some modern. Even a large black baby grand piano glistened near the corner of the wall. I was expecting posters of stereotypical boy obsessions and dirty clothing on the floor, but all I could visibly see was shelves of books and records of bands from the late last century.
“Expecting something different?” I heard Harry yell from behind a wall.
“You never told me you had a collection of books and music…” I walked towards his book shelf as my fingers ran horizontally to the spine of his collection of books. Several literature readings were organized by title, some works were many that I enjoyed reading. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, 1984 by George Orwell, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens and most of William Shakespeare’s plays. Comic books were hidden away in a clear storage container with other things Harry seemed to outgrow.
“You never really asked.” Harry came up behind me and handed me his hoodie, “And plus, nobody really knows what’s in my room besides Louis and several of my team mates aside from Noah.”
“So I guess it’s safe to say I can sit on the edge of your bed?” I heard him chuckle even though I wasn’t joking.
“The bed doesn’t hold any memories.” His dimples showed innocently, but before I had a chance to see them deepen I turned my back on him to look at the rest of his books.
“How long have you had these?” I walked slowly looking at the titles of many vintage readings. Many had cracks between the spine and some had tape holding them together but they were still beautiful.
“Some are my parent’s but when new books come in at the library, Mrs. Green lets me keep the old ones. She loves me.” He said with a cheeky grin.
“Yep you really are appealing to older women.” I crossed my arms and stopped at the end of his colossal built in bookshelf noticing the empty wall with hollow tiny holes. I acknowledged that the pictures he once had on his wall had been either hidden away in some box or placed in the attic a couple of meters above us since the nails held onto nothing but air.
“I am appealing to all ages if I may add.” He grabbed his blanket from my hands and shook it in my face, “Are you afraid to have my scent on you. I think I smell good, at least that’s what my mom said when she bought me my first bottle of cologne.”
I laughed and pushed his hand away, “I have a hoodie on right now Harry. I’m fine.”
“Take it.”
I sighed and took it in my hands removing my own burnout hoodie that wasn’t meant for England weather. It smelled just like him. So familiar and pleasant.
“So you can burn Noah’s hoodie and keep mine. There it’s settled.” He said while throwing himself on his bed with a sneaky smirk. I tied my hoodie around my waist not caring how stupid I seemed with two hoodies on as I glared at him.
“Why do you hate him so much?”
“Why do you like him so much? He’s annoying as fuck and likes to piss me off on multiple occasions. Little cocky bastard.” Harry sat up on his bed and waited for me to say something but I just stayed planted where I was with arms crossed and my eyebrow rising. “What?”
“Noah only pisses you off because you piss him off! And you take your anger out on him! Are you the only one that forgets you punched him?” I pushed the sleeves of his hoodie up. I was heated.
“Did you forget why I punched him?! Like I said before! He’s a cocky bastard.” Harry rose from his bed and walked towards me with his cheeks growing in color. He was getting pissed and so was I. His body went stone cold and his jaw contracted stiffly making me feel slightly frightened but I knew he would never hurt me physically. Emotionally, yes. “I’m trying to figure out if the two of you are just friends or something more. When I saw the two of you sitting down on the football field during lunch today, you two were very comfortable with each other. I tried to keep myself from beating the crap out of him when I saw he was making a move but I thought you would stop him. And you didn’t. The fact is that you like having him around. Don’t you?” He leaned his back against the wall near his bed as the air around us went ice cold. I had forgotten Harry saw Noah and me during lunch. I knew Harry wanted an answer so I gave him one.
“Yes I do Harry!” I began to walk towards him but stopped half way. Harry looked at me carefully, just waiting to see what I would do next or what I would say next. I wanted to know too. My whole body was trembling from anger and before I knew it, I stopped right in front of him with cold eyes. My voice spilled out in a whisper but I could tell the anger was going to take an effect. “The fact that I don’t have to tell him about my past makes everything so easy. I like how he won’t pity me just because my father died of cancer or how my ex-boyfriend tried to rape me, not once but twice with his best friend! I like how unaware he is to what I left behind me Harry. I don’t have to explain to him about what’s been done. That’s why I wanted to come to Brentwood. Not because I wanted to get away just like every teenager at this school does. I wanted to leave behind every damn thing that has happened to me and you want to know what pisses me off? The fact that you know. The fact that you know about what I wanted to keep secret. The one person I never thought I would tell knew before someone I would actually spill this to. I never wanted anybody to know Harry. That’s why I haven’t told Natalie or Leslie or Liam. But you want to know something else that pisses me off? I like the fact that you know.” I let out a laugh and put my fingers to my lips. “I’m screwed up. Emotionally, I’m screwed up. How is it that the one person I never thought I could trust, I trust with my deepest darkest secret? And the fact that I didn’t even tell you! You found out on your own! I never wanted you to know about me. But you kept digging and there was nothing I could do about it. We ended up chemistry partners and photography partners and even when I wanted to hate you, I knew I could never hate you. Even after all the things everyone has told me about you, I decided to look past that because I know what it feels like to be labeled as something not related to who we really are. But at times I still give them the benefit of the doubt to see you as something you aren’t. I mean I assume the worst. I guess I always will, given what I’ve been through but that should never be an excuse. But I am thankful that you know Harry. You have no idea how good it feels to finally tell someone everything. And the fact that you haven’t ran away screaming out of terror or think I’m a heavy case of problems makes me thankful. Everybody waits to see you screw up being with me and I would be lying if I said I didn’t too. Damn it!”
“You want to know something Carter?” Harry managed to choke out, while turning to look at me. His green eyes were lighter from the last time I looked at him directly. The warmth they gave me, sent chills up my body but I didn’t mind. I looked back at him waiting for him to part his pursed lips and tell me what he wanted to tell me. “I would never pity you. Never in my lifetime or in any other lifetime of mine would I pity you. You said what pisses you off, so let me tell you what pisses me off. What pisses me off is that you don’t believe in me and the fact that you think I would pity you. Yes, I feel for you about losing your dad, I mean when you talk about the man he used to be, your face gleams with joy and remembrance. I know he is looking down on you but I hate how you aren’t going to see him smile. I don’t know what it feels like losing a parent, but when I see it behind those beautiful blue eyes of yours, it kills me. I know how badly you want to be able to see your father, to be able to hug him and to hear him say how proud he is of you, which I am certain that would be the first thing he would tell you aside from how much he loves you. I just wish he could witness you grow up into the beautiful young lady you are becoming. He will witness from above your first true love, the day you get married and the day you have your first born and many, but it sucks how you aren’t going to be able to witness his smile, the tears that will be shed when he has to give you away to a man that will love you and care for you the rest of your life, and when he sees his grandchildren born. That makes me feel for you Carter, but I would never ever take pity on you. I didn’t know you before the Trevor situation but when you mention his name or when I do, I see the light in your eyes disappear. The only thing he took away from you is your happiness. He wanted to make you fear him, fear his name and his presence but Carter, I know you will never fear him even though you say you do. No matter how hard he tries to, you will stand your ground. Those tears you have shed for him will be just a memory. A memory on how he made you a stronger young woman. Now you don’t take bullshit from anybody, clearly me since it took you awhile to open up to me. You put your guard up just to save yourself from harm and physical and emotional pain, but sometimes you need to see that there are not monsters in the world that surround us. If there were, we would all be in hiding trying to protect ourselves from our own bit of us. To you I may have come across as a monster, but once you saw me for who I really am, my mask is nothing more than a mask.”
God how he makes it so difficult to not have feelings for him.
“I’m sorry for not believing in you. All today you showed me how much you believed in me, but I never did that for you.” I turned my head to the side to see his expression. He was gleaming from ear to ear, his eyes spoke of the same smile he was giving me. All he wanted was for me to believe in him, but I was always afraid to. “And what you said about my dad-” Before I could finish he wiped away the tears that I didn’t know had fallen. “Thank you for always being here for me Harry.”
“I’m glad I am not oblivious to your past that way I can help you get through it.”
“The only way I could cope with my past was through running-”
“And you know, the occasional throwing of your phone…” Harry stated jokingly as I laughed out loud and hit him playfully over his lean stomach. “Hey we all have anger issues, some greater than others, a prime example is you.”
“Hey, your way of coping with anger is completely different from mine!”
“How may I ask?” The side of his mouth turned up forming a knowing smirk.
“Physical contact with people-” His smirk grew into a naughty grin just as I realized what was just said, “You dumb shit, get your mind out of the gutter.”
“I never had sex when I am angry-” He moved closer to me in a jesting matter, taking advantage of my wrong wording.
“I really don’t want to know about your sex life Styles.” I quickly got off his bed and put my hair in a high pony tail, “What I mean was the way you cope with anger is through punching walls and Noah-” As expected, a laugh escaped his lips, “Harry quit laughing. I care about him, remember?”
“Did you care about me when you aimed your phone at my balls?” His lips were pressed tightly together making his dimples show more. He was trying to contain his laughter as he noticed my cheeks that were beginning to show signs of embarrassment but I tried to keep my composure.
“Like Louis said, it was a gift from the gods.” I crossed my arms and gave him a smirk just like he had given me, but his side smile was back.
“What, my balls or your perfect aim?” He threw his throw pillow at me playfully but I caught it midair and hugged it tightly so the color in my cheeks could settle down.
I let out an uncomfortable cough and walked towards his white desktop computer, “So this is the house that you and your dad share?”
“It actually belongs to Brentwood but we made it our home. My dad kind of wanted to make it like a man cave but I can assure you, you won’t see any boxers on the floor. We keep it clean just in case we have company. Sometimes when I want to get away from the crap at the dorms, I spend my time hear while my dad is at his office. He comes home pretty late but that’s expected when you’re the dean of a boarding school.” He pulled a book from the top shelve and looked at it then put it back where it belonged.
“So everything’s going well between you and your dad?” I sat down on his leather chair watching him walk towards me.
“Yeah. I mean forgive and forget, right? But I can’t really forget.”
“Forgive and forget…” I muttered slightly as I looked at my hands. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if your parents were still together?” I asked in the middle of nowhere.
Harry shrugged and looked at a picture of his family, “That thought crossed my mind multiple times but it’s not like it’s ever going to happen. My dad and I are okay right now. I know that we have those days especially the time when he found out I got drunk on campus. He was livid and so was I. I asked myself he has no right to be pissed off at my mistakes and that’s when I realized I was doing the same thing he was. We said things that shouldn’t have been said. Things I regret but I mean we make our own mistakes. I sure as hell made many, he sure as hell made some as well but sometimes you need to look past the imperfections people have made because everyone in this world has their own bit of imperfection.”
I walked towards him and stopped a few feet from him, “You know you are a good person Harry. To be able to forgive your father after what he did that takes strength.” The picture was of him, his father and I’m guessing his mother and sister. They looked so happy at that time. Gemma looked Spencer’s age in the photo. Her auburn hair was in loose curls with an angelic smile placed on her lips looking at her brother. Harry’s loose dark chestnut curls were tighter back then and his white converse were replaced with boots. Both Gemma and Harry were between their parents, smiling with their dimples showing while Mr. and Mrs. Styles smiled at each other.
“Well I mean, forgiveness isn’t for anybody.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” Harry asked me, while I looked at him puzzled. He caught my facial expression, “Were you ever going to tell me about Trevor? What he had done? About the text message? I mean if I never tried to figure you out, would you have told me?”
“This world if full of would have’s, should have’s, could have’s. Why not live as how we are supposed to?”
“It was just a yes or no question. I’m kind of waiting for an answer-”
“Honestly no.” I said in a rude tone, “I never wanted anybody to find out what happened to me back in Maine. That’s why I left.”
“Well if you didn’t tell me, I’m sure my father would’ve.” I heard Harry mutter.
“What the hell did you just say?” I heard him whisper fucking shit as his hands ran over his face.
“I didn’t say anything, you must have heard wrong-”
“Fucking bull Harry! What the hell did you mean by what you just said?! Does your father know about Trevor?!” I could feel my temples throb in anger as hot tears started to form again. My face was growing hot by the second as I put my hands in my hair. I bit down on the inside of my cheeks trying to keep the anger, but as I stood there I saw Harry walk around defenseless. “Did you know before you found out at Sophie’s? Were you trying to cover it all up? Is that why we are photography and chemistry partners? Was this part of your plan all along Harry!”
“No! Fuck no! This wasn’t a plan Carter! I knew nothing about what happened with Trevor until Saturday night! I knew you had a secret and I had a feeling my father knew about it because I would catch his calls between him and William! I would hear my father tell William, ‘Yes she’s safe Will. You have nothing to worry about. We won’t let anything happen to her again.’”
“Why does your dad know about Trevor?!” I shouted louder than I should have.
“Admission into Brentwood stopped early March, so I’m guessing when William called my dad it was after the incident happened? Well my dad and the admissions committee are very strict on late admittance applicants. Before I was going to the States to visit my mum and Gemma, William stopped by our house and I heard them talking in my father’s office a couple of rooms down from mine. I’m sure William didn’t have to beg considering your grades are outstanding-”
“Oh so you looked at my school record?” I asked sarcastically waiting for him to deny that comment, but he didn’t. “What the actual fuck Harry! Those are supposed to be restricted to students!”
“That doesn’t matter right now, you can yell at me later but I’m guessing before William showed my father your transcript and your accomplishments, he told him your story as to why you needed to leave Maine. William didn’t really have to beg my father because they were out of his office within the hour shaking hands. To be honest, I’m terrified of William so I stayed in my room the whole entire time, but I remember William telling my father, ‘No one must know about what happened to my niece. She doesn’t want it to follow her.’ I didn’t know what they were conversing about. I didn’t know who you were at that time, but I would lay awake at night wondering who Mr. Harrison’s niece was, what she’s been through. I even tried asking my dad what that was conversation about but he would just reply ‘It doesn’t concern you son.’ That day at the airport, I had no clue why the hell you put your guard up and why the hell you hated me-”
“I didn’t hate you-”
“You flipped me off when we first made eye contact Carter! At that time, I wanted to know who you were so that’s why I went to go introduce myself to you! That’s why! Then when I realized you were Mr. Harrison’s niece the dots were connecting, slowly but surely they were connecting. And I didn’t mind!”
“Did you tell your father about the text message Harry?” My jaw was clenched tightly as I watched him put his hands behind his head.
“Yes. Yes I did. I needed to Carter. He was pissed that I knew, so fucking pissed but Carter,” He walked towards me and knelt down beside me so he could see my devastated facial expression, “I am going to keep you safe. My father and I are doing our best to keep you safe and away from that bastard. Nothing is going to interfere with your safety. My father said he’s going to have a talk with Sophie and William very soon to discuss what will be done, and if they can’t do anything Carter, I will. I swear on my life I will protect you. I will not let him lay one more finger on you. If he’s within ten miles of you, I will personally make sure he begs for your forgiveness. I will be the one giving him hell.” He pulled me closer to him and placed me on his lap, “You want to know something? That night that my father and William talked to each other I constantly asked myself who was this girl? I asked myself what is she hiding? It would keep me awake at night. You would keep me awake at night Carter and I haven’t even met you! Just thinking of you brought a smile to my face. I never knew about the abuse Trevor put you through and I didn’t know about your father. Would I have stopped if you never told me? If you told me to quit digging? Hell no. Because I care Carter. More than you want me to and more than I expected I ever would. I care about you and I will make sure nothing ever happens to you ever again. That is my oath to you. I swear to keep you safe from any guy out there, even me.”
“I can fight my own damn battles and I can protect myself. I was able to escape him once and I can do it again. I don’t need you or anybody-” Before I knew it, Harry had me pinned against his bedroom wall. My cold hands were above my head as Harry’s were grasped around them, holding them tightly so I couldn’t escape. He had his lean body pressed against mine; mine was trembling slightly in fear but mostly in sheer fury. My breathing had ceased for a few seconds but it became rough when Harry’s eyes turned into hunger and lust in just those few moments. His grip wasn’t tight like the time he had me pressed against the wall at Brentwood but it wasn’t possible to escape him. The anger began to rise from beneath me as I tried to push him away but his grasp was tightening and his body began to push against me more. I couldn’t feel my knees and my fingers began to lose circulation.
“You say you don’t need help. You say you can fight your own battles. Well escape me Carter. Fucking escape me!” His breathe was hot as it hit my cheeks. All I wanted to do was get out of this position he had put me in. “If Trevor were to ever get his hands on you again, what would you do if I wasn’t there? Or William and Sophie just because you told us you could fight your own battles. I know you are strong and stubborn as hell but that can fucking put harm on you!” I could feel his eyes move down my jaw and towards the collar of my Brentwood uniformed shirt. It was like the very first time I laid eyes on him. He was looking at me just like that day, making it seem like he was undressing me with his eyes. I knew he was trying to make an example and he was doing a damn good job at it. Making me look weak and small, putting me in a position I never wanted to be put against.
His head moved closer to the nook of my neck and I could feel his lips touching the material of my shirt moving closer to the patch of skin were my jaw met my neck, “Escape me…” I heard him whisper seductively.
His grip had loosened slightly as I began to push him away with as much effort and strength as I could but he soon realized what I was doing and tightened his grip more.
“I don’t want to hurt you but I need you to see that sometimes a man is physically stronger than a woman. I can teach you how to protect yourself-” A thought crossed my mind when I realized his legs were slightly spread open. Within a couple of seconds, Harry was on the floor clenching his crotch.
“FUCKING SHIT!” His expression of hunger left him and was replaced with pure pain. He began to roll back and forth cussing in French and in his language, even his breath had escaped him.
“It’s a damn good thing women don’t have dicks. Metaphorically we have balls that’s for sure.” I crouched down beside him and saw the pain in his eyes just like I had moments before, “I may not be as strong as Trevor or you, but I will not have you or anyone put me in that same position again. I will fight. My physical strength may not compare to you men but I am damn certain I will put up one hell of a fight. Wasn’t that what you implied in English?”
“You didn’t have to knee me in my balls to make a point Carter!” Harry began to sit up very slowly as the feeling in his legs began to come back to him.
“You didn’t need to fucking push me up against your wall to me a damn point either Harry!” I stood up quickly and paced back and forth in his room. I kept glancing at him to see if he was alright but I could tell he was angry as hell. A deep breath escaped my lips as the feeling of regret filled my body, “Are you okay?” I asked him.
Harry began to stand up but stumbled slightly. His balance was regained in that minute as he took in deep breathes through his nose, “I guess I deserved that. I knew you would fight back but I didn’t know you would kick my arse and knock me down!”
“You underestimate me Styles.” I said with a slight smirk. He let out a small laugh and held onto his lower abdomen. The hunger in his eyes was gone and replaced with sincere warmth. Even after what he had said to me minutes before, I couldn’t escape the thought of being left alone at the end. “Look I am sorry if I hurt you, I didn’t mean to do that to you but I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I don’t want you to be my knight in shining armor.”
“I don’t want to be your knight in shining armor,” He took a deep breath and moved closer to me, “A knight in shining armor is over-fucking-rated. I want you to know that I will fight for you, and if I’m a knight in shining armor that shows nothing. For you I’ll be a soldier willing to fight and beat the crap out of any one that harms you.”
I felt myself blush slightly but shook it off, “I’ll remember that but remember I can still kick your ass.”
“Not if I’m wearing a cup when I am around you Jarvis.” He said with a smirk.
I laughed and began to walk towards his bedroom door, “I think I’m going to head back to school.” Harry grabbed his keys from his hoodie pocket and started to walk towards me but I shook my head, “I kind of want to walk alone right now-”
His smile fell causing mine to do the same, “Look if it’s about before I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I was trying to make a point and if I hurt you Carter, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for doing that to my best friend.”
“I promise you didn’t hurt me.” I pushed the sleeves down and showed him my wrists where his grasp was, “See no harm done. You were right about telling me I can’t do this alone.” I bit down on my lip and looked up at him, “You want to know something?” My back was pressed against his door, waiting for a yes or no answer. He nodded vaguely as his eyes never left mine, “I had my parents fight my battles for me but when I found out about my dad’s brain tumor, everything changed. Every day I would witness him fighting his own battles and because of him I am learning to fight my own.” I wiped away a tear before Harry had a chance to do it for me, “I am not the type of person that waits for a hero let alone a guy to fight for a girl. But knowing that you are willing to fight for me makes me feel protected and at times I may mind, but you need to know that I am thankful even though I never show it. I just never thought in a million years someone other than my family would be willing to protect me.” I gave him a small smile as I made my way to his front door.
“I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I will never stop fighting for you Carter Noel Jarvis. I don’t care if you push me away and I don’t care how angry you are at me. I will never stop fighting. Even your own stubbornness won’t get in my way.” Harry opened the door for me and leaned against a pillar on his front porch.
“And I’ll try not to mind.” I said while starting off my walk towards Brentwood.
-
As soon as I walked into Blair Dormitory, I saw Natalie heading towards the elevator but she saw me and stopped in the middle of the hall.
“There you are Carter!” Her smile lit up when I met her in the elevator. “Did you end up going to the library?”
“What?” I asked her as I pressed the second floor button.
“I sent you several texts saying I wasn’t going to the library after seventh period. My French teacher decided to hold a study session during her conference hour so I stayed there until the end of study hall. I’m pretty sure I sent you some texts even though they didn’t say delivered, I just thought my phone was screwed up.” I shook my head and pulled out my phone from my backpack.
“Your phone isn’t the one that’s screw up.” I handed her the broken electronic. Her mouth turned into an opened O as she began to examine my iPhone.
“Damn Carter! What the hell did you do?!”
“I have anger issues.” I let out an uncomfortable laugh.
“I doubt that.” She handed me back my phone and walked out the elevator, “I broke my phone one time too. My mom was pissed when she found out I washed it by accident. Things happen.” She pulled out her keys from her pocket, “But if you ever need to use a phone maybe to call your parents I could lend you mine.”
I scratched my forehead and sighed taking the offer, “Thanks.”
“So did you have a chance to talk to your brother before you broke your phone? To be honest, he is really attractive. I don’t know why, but blonde guys really lure me in.”
“He’s off limits Nat.” I said while throwing my backpack on the foot of my bed.
“I’m kidding there Carter. Niall and I have something, I don’t know what it is, but we do.” Natalie jumped on the couch and grabbed her French text book, flipping through several pages. I glanced at my watch and saw I had a couple of minutes before my mom went off to her lunch hour.
“Hey Nat can I think I am going to take your offer on using your phone. I need to call my mom.”
“Sure go ahead, I think the front office has your information sheet. You can get your mom’s number-”
“It’s okay. I know it by memory.” I grabbed her phone from her hands while she gave me a blank facial expression. “What?”
“Are you serious? Is that even possible to remember numbers nowadays? I mean I have my phone to keep that shit memorized for me.” Natalie said in all seriousness.
I rolled my eyes and walked out the door with her phone in my hand. Within the second ring I heard my mom’s secretary on the other end. My eyebrows knit together in confusion wondering why she had my mom’s cell phone.
“Hello?” Megan’s voice was high pitch making me wince.
“Megan? It’s Carter. I need to talk to my mom.”
“Oh Carter, how’s England?” Megan asked me but I knew she didn’t give a damn. All she cared about was her paycheck and the health benefits it came with.
“It’s good. Look I really need to talk to my mom-”
“She took an early lunch to go meet with a traveling agent and I guess she forgot to take her phone with her. I think she may come back early since she doesn’t have it with her-”
“A travelling agent? Why is she meeting with a travelling agent?” I asked while holding onto the side of my stomach. If Mr. Styles contacted my mom within the hour maybe she was booking a flight to England to make sure I was okay. She didn’t need to, I could have insured her I was perfectly fine with just a phone call but I guess she wanted to take that extra precaution.
“Oh yes a travelling agent! I heard her talking to Braydon early this morning reassuring him his daughter would be fine going to England with Jake.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I clenched my fists as tight as I could; they turned stone cold as my cheeks grew red in anger.
“Your mother didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what exactly Megan?!” I shouted through the phone. There was in ringing in my ears and I could feel my heart beating faster in anticipation.
“Avery is going with Jake to England to visit Oxford University. She wants to attend that university next fall and she asked your mother if she could visit the campus just to get the feel of it and she’s very anxious to meet you.” Megan voice was growing pissed and so was mine.
“My mother didn’t tell me that.” My teeth were tightly clenched and the ringing in my ears grew louder.
“Well I am sorry I told you. Maybe she wanted to be a surprise, I don’t know but I honestly thought she would tell her daughter this. I am pretty sure she’s told Sophie.”
“Sophie?”
“Look I don’t want to cause any tension so I will let your mother handle this. I’m just a secretary. I don’t deal with teenage anger issues. Your mother will be here within the hour. If you want I can tell her to call you back-”
Before I could hear anymore I ended the phone call. I didn’t give a damn if Megan viewed me as an immature teenaged brat, I was in livid. Even though I never met Avery, I knew she has something against me. Ever since that phone call we had, I knew she became aware of my past and I knew she would taunt me. She came across as that type of person. Someone that liked taking pleasure in making people’s lives a living hell. She was finally going to meet the ‘famous Carter Noel’ everybody has been talking about at Portland High.
-
Writer's Note:
Hey guys I know it's been awhile since I've updated and I know you get tired of hearing this but I do have school and that is very important to me. I have changed the cover of Unbroken because I thought the other one looked horrible lol but please don't give up on reading Unbroken. I know it may take awhile for an update but I try my best to write when I can. I would never end Unbroken in a cliffhanger. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and again I am terribly sorry. And! If you don't remember who Avery is, if you would like to read chapter 13 that is where she makes her first appearance.
Last thing hehe, please follow my twitter it is @idkharleyw and please follow my instagram account @idkharley! Thank you guys so much and until the next update which I hope is very soon!