[[Alexander]]
I stood behind Juba's door, waiting for the doors to open. His Grecian slave opens the door and allows me inside. I bow before Juba can clasp arms with me and hug me.
"You're awake!" He beamed, welcoming me in his arms. "Since when?" He briefly released me from his embrace.
"Since last night actually."
His eyebrows rose in surprise and he smirked, "You were obviously in no hurry to come here."
I smiled and chuckled softly, "Obviously."
"So what may I do for you? Dearest friend." He moved away and dismissed the slaves, pouring our wine all on his own.
"I want to be the Queen's adviser, again."
He came towards me eyes narrowed pondering my decision carefully. He handed me the wine, and sighed. "If you will allow me to express some honesty, Helios..." He trailed off, "I would be relieved if you were to guide Selene, however...she had not confronted me yet...and I offered her a divorce."
"I heard," I agreed and set my untouched wine cup down on a nearby table "I seek to lead her to a stable decision."
"And what path shall that be?" Juba finished the contents of his silver wine cup and briefly sighed, before pouring some more. However, he thought better of it, and watered it down, adding a dollop of sweet honey into his drink.
"I want my...Queen, to choose a decision on her own but, I want to make sure she chooses the right decision. You understand how indecisive she can become."
He scoffed, "Something her mother probably never was, but neither was Octavia. I wonder why they allowed her to be so."
I smiled slightly at the memory of my mother and step-mother, but quickly altered my expression. "Selene is head strong, and can be led to a decision."
"That, she inherited from both women who raised her." He sighed and his expression hardened, "Do you believe she will accept my offer."
I shrugged, "Why did you even offer?"
He took his silver cup and strolled briskly to his seat. I took my own seat, reclining on one of his lavish couches. I admired the numerous scrolls that were in a delicate arrangement in his gorgeous library shelves. He sipped his wine patiently before answering. "I thought she loves me enough to immediately decline it, but it is apparent that she still does not love me the way she promised to."
"I do not agree," I murmured, "I think she still loves you."
He glanced at me, "She thinks I hurt her."
"You probably did. It wouldn't have hurt her if you did things with her. She was quite lonely whenever you were on your voyages."
His eyes narrowed from mine and peered into his cup. It did not seem like he was looking at its contents but passed it. "That was not my initial reason. My foremost reason was...When Tiberius visited - while you were disposed-"
"Now I understand everything."
He smirked, "When he was here, her eyes twinkled like the stars, her always smooth skin that paled after your loss of consciousness and the death of our last child...her skin blossomed gold again and her face which was usually free of any cosmetics - not like the one's whore's wear, but a simple red in the cheeks and darkening of her eyes, were present. She glowed, not for me but for him. She was...happy...completely and utterly in love." He lost his train of thought staring at the wine and passed it onto a spot on his table far away from the papers. He ran his fingers through his face like I had when I realized I lost my best friend, and wife. My lips bent in sympathy. "I love her so much...I love her immensely...like I have never loved before. Helios, have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't care if they rejected you, tormented you, tortured your heart halfway to destruction...Have you ever relished so much in loving someone, that all you desired was to give them the world. All you wanted was for them to smile, and never once frown or cry in front of you, or ever..." His entire face was plagued by a hard expression, and his voice remained steady as if his heart had not cracked as his words suggest. His voice, devoid of emotion, did not allow weakness...but his words, anyone could hear the weakness in the echoes of his words.
"Yes," I played with the embroidery of the pillow, "I have loved someone like that."
"What was the result?"
"She's gone."
Silence had rotten the atmosphere of the chamber. Then Juba picked up his cup again gulping down its contents before standing up to retrieve some more. Soberly he asked, "So what will you tell her, Helios?"
"First," I inquired, "Do you want her to divorce you?"
Coldly he answered, "Selene's decision makes no difference to me." He returned to his desk with a unwatered and unsweeted full cup of wine which he immediately drinks and almost spills. "If she is happy, I will continue my life the way it is and has been. I have two heirs now, and if I lose them I have Drusilla and Kleopatra to bear me more, as Julia bears princelings Augustus." His expression flowered into a smile, "Kleopatra is deserving of her name."
"The Father's pride?"
"She is more than that, I assure you. But correct. I forget that you are half Greek, your mother is a prominent woman in Rome."
"Where is Selene," I waved away his observation.
"In the baths with the children, they finished their morning prayers and will be going to the city to pay alms." He stood again and poured water into his wine cup, drinking it by the table. "She will be in the gardens where the male peacocks are," he added. "If you can convince her...to stay...you can receive your advisorship again and become Governor of Volubilis, once again. Ammayas weilds too much land and power. Sometimes," I chuckled, "he acts like the King. I would enjoy to see him put in his place."
"Thank you, Your Grace."
"In addition to this, I have a request to deliver." He set his wine cup down and walked towards the beautiful shelves. He picked out one scroll with Ammaya's broken seal. "Here, from Ammayas." He passed it to me and walked towards his desk. I unrolled the scroll. "He wishes to marry of his daughter Tasa to one of your sons. To refresh your memory, Tasa is the third daughter of Ammayas four daughters. He is sending the elder two into respectful cults, primarily the ever growing cults of Isis and Juno."
"I forget he does not have any sons." I skimmed through the letter. "How does she look like again," I dropped the scroll onto the couch and watched him. He was leaning against his desk admiring the wood, so it seemed.
He smirked, "Tasa is the silent one with charcoal eyes, raven hair, olive skin...the perfect wife. But not the beauty that the youngest is. I noticed something about Caden."
I narrowed my eyes and eyed him with interest.
"He adores the youngest girl, Anahid. She is fair haired, blue-eyed, has the skin of the Berbers. Beautiful child. That is what her name means, flawless. She is a close friend of Drusilla, the same age even. Together, they make the prettiest pair of jewels. A gift for any man. Caden is very close to the girls, particularly Anahid. He trains her with the sword, even though she is only seven, and a girl. She is a fierce child, and Caden enjoys her company. Perhaps, one day we can match them."
"Perhaps. So my son Nik for Tasa?"
"Yes."
"I will ask him. He told me he was infatuated with another girl."
"He's fifteen," he rolled his eyes, "interests change. Your's did." His eyes met mine, and an invisible shiver spiraled down my spine.
"How old is Tasa?"
"She is ten, about to be eleven. He wants them to be engaged a year before an actual marriage. He is willing to provide an ample dowry, too."
"I read." I leaned up on the couch and decided it was time for me to depart. "I think I have used enough of your time."
"My time is endless," he murmured the rest, "for my one true ally and the brother of my wife."
I stared at him glowering.
"Relax," he smiled, "It took me a long time, but when I saw Selene cry for you when you were bloodied and arrowed - it never occurred to me, not even once. I thought Alexander was dead, but when she cried for you, the way she cried when I picked her up in front of the temple of the twins, I knew she loved you. I couldn't decipher as what, until I read her letters. She never burns any of the letters you send her. I had to admit, I was very jealous. But I see now, who you are. I am glad, you are with us again. Very, and do not worry. I will keep your secret. I have for this long."
"Thank you," I nodded in respect, but held a parallel expressionless attitude. I turned and left the chamber, moving onto my next mission.
I did not know how to feel. I didn't feel that initial, ever present, anxiety that plagued me for years. I think it is because I trusted Juba. I put trust in his love. I hope that trust isn't misplaced. I continued to hold the scroll in my hands when I entered the peacock garden and smiled at the shrill shrieks of Ptolemy's greeting.
"Look! Look!" He shrieked. "Mater!"
I walked deeper into the gardens and opened my hand for Ptolemy's smaller one.
"When did you come back?"
"Last night."
"How was your trip? Mater said you went on a trip."
"I did." I grinned.
"Where?"
"Hmm, let's see." I picked him up so I did not have to slouch carrying him. "I crossed Carthage to gaze at the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt, cross the Mediterranean to see the olive trees of Italy, climbed beyond the Alps to visit wild Gaul, and took a ship to Britannia, where they wear crowns and call themselves Divine Kings. I then took a boat to Illium, where I searched for the lost treasures of Troy..."
His mouth gaped open in awe. "One day I will see the world like you!"
"Filling my son with fruitless dreams, I see. Is that the first thing you do when you wake up? Dream?" Selene's eyes were wrinkling with happiness, yet tears incessantly streamed down her beautiful face.
"Selene," I murmured, before putting Ptolemy down and racing to her. I gave her the largest embrace - the embrace of an estranged family. I hugged her for a moment longer allowing her to cry tears of joy and worry onto my clothing. I held her, as she sobbed, and smiled sadly. I kissed the back of her head and held her tighter. "I won't leave you again. I promise."
"Alexander..." She choked up on her tears and sobbed into my shoulder that I couldn't help but cry too. "I missed you. So much..." She sobbed her words and I ran my fingers through her hair making sure she knew that I was there, that I would never leave her. She said my name...but it didn't worry me then, I didn't care. "Please," she begged squeezing me tighter, "please brother. I need you here with me, please help me. Everything is going to Hades, and I need to feel happy again..." She seemed to cry harder even though she looked like she wanted to stop. She pulled away from me and bent forward, using my shoulders as leverage to hold her up. Her tears splattered onto the floor and mine continuously ran down my cheeks.
"Selene," I lifted her wet face and wiped her tears with my thumbs. "I'm alive," I put her cold hands on my cheeks, "There will be no more death, not for a while. I will be here," I reminded her, looking in her dark green eyes, "for you, for your children, for your kingdom. I will be here. I promise. I won't ever leave you, my beloved sister." I let go of her face and embraced her. Only then did I realize Selene and I were completely alone. "Don't cry," I wiped a stray tear, "I haven't gone yet."
She smirked and her swollen eyes wrinkled slightly. She punched my arm, "You scared me when you were hurt."
"I'd be scared to death if anything happened to you," I smiled and poked her nose.
"You bleached your hair."
"It was turning into the same color as yours."
"Ah," she smiled, "Welcome back...?"
"I feel welcome." I held both her hands, "I have a proposition for you."
"What would that be?" She squeezed both my hands then let go for the sake of decency.
I offered her my arm as we leisurely strolled through the gardens. "Juba desires that you stay his Queen, but at the same time he would not fight if you choose to abdicate."
"This again," she yawned. "So what, will you lecture me in exchange for his good grace?"
"I want you on the throne. We were born to rule, Selene. Why are you so estranged from him? I know personally that you love him."
"Things change." She barked.
"Not like that. You love him, even if you don't admit it. What are you running away from? Aren't you tired of running away? Aren't you tired of your abusive and unhealthy relation to Tiberius? You have the perfect man already, why choose someone who chases after a love he will never completely receive? Stop, Selene.But you heard enough of that from Juba. I want to persuade you to think of the title Queen and Empress, both titles were once your dream. What did they ever mean to you? Beyond power, wealth, dynasty."
"Motherhood, resilience, nationality..." She murmured. "As a Queen I must be stronger than others, I must defend my country's culture and beauty...The...The way mother didn't want to live to attempt at saving..."
"Mother was vain, but not so much as she saved us from death. She was a good Queen, but she loved herself more than she loved anything else. Selene you are not our mother. Don't abandon a dream you barely started to complete."
She let go of my arm and narrowed her eyes falling silent. "I need time."
"I will give it to you," I caressed her cheek. "As your new advisor I will have plenty of time to give you."
She grinned, "You accepted your old position?"
"To help you, Selene. I'm helping you right now...to help you help yourself."
She hummed and looked away deep in thought again.
"All that matters," I spoke as I squeezed her shoulder, "is your happiness. Follow it. Make sure you know it's right."
[[A/N: I hope this filler chapter wasn't too boring. Gosh I am tired...but i finished this despite my hectic schedule for you guys! To be honest, when Selene and Helios see each other in this scene, I was on the verge of crying as I wrote it. Who felt the same while they were reading it? I cried real tears, because their brother-sister relationship is so strong in my head and I just had to cry. I hope you didn't cry from boredom! Anyway sleepy time (it's 1:35 am =^.^=) Comment what you thought, just a suggestion.]]