Sorry for another late update.😭
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"Do we really have to do this together?" I asked. Magkasama na naman kami ni Sehun na nakakapuchang gala lang. Pagkatapos ng naging paguusap namin dalawang linggo na ang nakalilipas, I thought he'll leave me now for good. "Dad really want us back? Or he hates me and wants to torture me?" I said.
"Dad loves you. It's just in your head, hot stuff. If you really love him, you'll endure my presence. As if I'm not here. Just stop whining and let's get this started." Sehun said, his voice was plain, flat and I dunno. I just know there's something really different. Maybe, he already given up? Oh that's good.
But bad. Kakabukas palang ng clinic tapos isasara agad for two days. Great, amazing. And I have to endure him through out that days. Food testing, cake testing, tapos yung mga aasikasuhin pa sa simbahan. Sa amin talaga pinaubaya ni Dad ang kasal nya. At hindi ko pa nakikilala ang bride to be nya.
"Byabyahe tayo bukas ng umaga and for tonight, may dinner. You need to come. Don't disappoint, Appa. He's expecting you and besides, nandun ang Mom mo."
"Nandun din ang asawa mo, anak mo at ang lolo. Great, happy family." I said with fake enthusiasm. Yung gusto ko ng magsuka agad, isipin ko palang eh. "Why is this even happening? Pwedeng paki-explain nga?"
"Then, you," Sehun clutched tightly at the steering wheel. "You shouldn't have come back! Do you think I like this too?! To let you face my biggest mistake?! Hindi ako ganun kasama, Lu Han. Nasasaktan din ako. Don't act as if wala akong ginawang maganda sa pagsasama natin!" Nagulat ako sa pagtataas ng boses ni Sehun. Like I was talking to his "devil side" once again. I clamped my mouth shut, ni walang masabi.
I balled my hand into a fist.
"Didn't I also make you happy? I treated you, loved you, cared for you more that myself. But now.. you can only see all of my mistakes. Like, I only treated you so bad. So... so bad that you can't even look at me. You said you were happy. Was that all a lie? You weren't really happy, is that it?" Sehun took a deep breath, "I'm sorry."
He brushed his hair with his fingers.
".." I didn't say anything. I was really happy. I know Sehun pushed everything to me, gave me everything, his authoritative manner get in the way, complicating everything but that what makes him and I couldn't change that. I met him like that but Sehun and him alone is my only source of happiness before all these shits happened. Life is so hard to deal with.
"I'm sorry because I'm not good enough for you, and I fucked up because of my obsession, my fear, I totally fucked up because I'm crazy. I only wanted to be a good man for you then I started wanting something more than that then I fucked up again. I... I'm no good to someone as perfect as you." Sehun fixed his attention on the road. I noticed his misty eyes but I remained quiet. I felt his pain. His agony.
Bad decisions, we both fucked up.
"Yes,"
"Yes what?" he looked puzzled.
"You don't know how much you made me so happy when you said you love me and when you married me." I smiled bitterly. I tried to put up a strong face, controlling all my emotions. "I was really happy and we ended up hurting each other. I want us, I want to start anew but no, not with you."
Saying those words, Sehun remained quiet. Pinaandar nalang nya ang kotse habang ako naman ay nakatingin lang sa madadaanan nito. I said what I had to but it hurts right in my chest. Something in me wanted to take it back. Something in me questioning even my own decision. Just something in me wanted Sehun to hug me and to kiss me like how he used to. And now, I'm caught up in a tumult.
I thought... I made it without him..
But then, I'm still stuck right there.
"It's impossible to forget you."
"Just try." I told him.
Look who's talking?
"Tell me how, Luhan? When I basically lived all these years loving you?" Sehun said but I didn't even bother to look at him. Gusto ko ng matapos na ang gagawin namin ngayong araw at maghiwalay na rin kami ng landas. Di na sya nagsalita at ganun din ako. Sehun kept pushing his luck because I keep showing interest. Because he could see it in me, in my eyes but that path is wrong. And it'll hurt Hansol, Kharin, his kid and his wife.
Nakarating din kami sa catering na napili namin para magcater sa wedding nila Dad. Hindi kami ang ikakasal pero kami pa rin ang pinagawa ni Dad para dito. Kami ang maglalakad, kami pa ang magbabayad ng gastos. Dad is so unbelievable. Hinilira sa amin yung best sellers nila and it was all good. Tikim lang pero nabusog agad ako.
"Kayo po ba ang ikakasal?"
"Ha? Hindi." pagtanggi ko.
"Sayang. Bagay na bagay kayo. Sabi nila meant to be ang magkamukha. Ay malay nyo po, susunod kayo." Tinaasan ko tuloy ng kilay si Ate. Taena. Ang daldal nya, sarap ipaslak yung buong plato sa bibig nya. Litsi. Cool lang, Luhan. Pretty ka. Sexy ka. Be cool.
"Hindi totoo yun." sabi ko.
"Bakit po?" tanong ni Ate.
"We're divorced." I said.
"Ay, pero ang pretty nyo, Mam."
"Lalaki ako teh." napairap ako.
Tumawa nalang si Ate para hindi mapahiya. Hindi sya makapaniwalang maganda talaga ako. "We'll take the Set A, Miss Bu Ang. So three weeks from now ang wedding. And here is the address pero malayo kasi sya kaya add mo nalang sa total cost." sabi ni Sehun. Ang manly ng dating nya especially when he's doing business at 'pag nakasuit.
"Ok, sir. Fill up nalang po." Hinayaan ko nalang si Sehun sa pagasikaso sa loob at sa labas na ako nagantay. Natapos sya sa loob ng mga twenty minutes. Dumiretso naman agad kami sa next stop, ang cake testing at wala pa rin kaming imik sa isa't-isa. As in.
"What do you think?"
Hindi agad ako sumagot. Nilasahan ko na muna ng maayos yung cake. "I prefer this one. Good for three hundred guests and hindi ko sure kung ilang layer yun. Para mas maganda, gawin mong sampo para manahimik tatay ko." sabi ko. Napakamot tuloy yung nagaassist sa amin at si Sehun.
"Ang cute ng bride to be nyo. Ang pretty pa." natatawang pang banggit nung babae. Pilit na tumawa naman si Sehun. Unison pa.
"Lalaki ako teh." sabad ko.
"We're married once." sagot ni Sehun at hinayaan ko na naman syang pumirma sa ilang documents. Bat kasi kailangan kami lang dalawa maglakad? I mean, wala bang plano din yung bride na asikasuhin sarili nyang kasal o tikman gusto nyang cake?!! Napalingon ako at napansin ko si Sehun. Tapos na rin sa wakas. Natapos din, jusko.
"Tapos na? I can take a cab-"
"Samahan mo muna ako." At bago pa ako makapagreact, agad nyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at binuksan ang pinto sa kotse. I shook my head. "Sakay na. Just this one? It's you I can only trust for this." he said. Nangunot ang noo ko pero pumasok nalang ako. Hinga pa ng malalim for another hour.
Hindi ako nagtanong kung saan nya ako dadalhin hanggang huminto sya sa isang store ng suit and tie. Nakasunod lang ako nung pumasok sya. With his both hands on his back, he scanned the items. Dinala nya ako dito para magjudge? Lumapit sa amin yung isang lalaking staff. Amoy ko rin sya.
"Do you need my help, Sir?"
Todo ngiti si Kuya. Fanboy.
"No. My wife can help me."
Sehun pointed at me but I'm just too tired to agrue. Tatango nalang ako sa kahit akong tie na pinili nya. Nang makapili na sya, tinawag nya ako. Umupo ako sa couch sa harap nung fitting room. Pumasok si Sehun dun tapos ay tinawag na naman ako. "What? Bakit kasi hindi ka magpatulong dun sa staff boy na type ka?" natawa lang sya. Pumasok ako sa loob ng fitting room at inayos yung tie nya.
Huli na nung pumasok sa isip kong dalawa lang kami sa fitting room na yun. "I like it when you tie this for me." Nanginig yung kamay ko. Nadidistract ako sa tingin nya sa akin. "So now I can see you much closer. Nakakamiss kang titigan." bulong nya pa.
"Kanina nagdradrama at tinanggihan na naman kita tapos ito na naman," Hininto ko ang pagaayos ng tie nya. "Nilalandi mo ako. When will you ever stop, Sehun? I'm already tired. Not in the mood to argue."
"Then don't." Sehun wrapped his arms around me. "And let me just hug you."
"You planned this?"
"Just to spend some time." Sehun wrapped his arms even tighter. Nakahawak pa rin ako sa tie nya. I could feel his breath on my neck. Sehun's smell filled my nose, manly and hot. "Let me hug you, hindi na kita guguluhin bukas promise." Napailing nalang ako dun.
"Maraming bukas, Mr. Oh."
"You got me. Luhan, I'm..."
Nanlaki ang mata ko bigla. The thing poking at my belly distracted me. Naitulak ko sya sa dibdib nya palayo sa akin. "You're already hard!" Wala sa sariling naisigaw ko. Sehun pinned me against the mirror and covered my mouth. Pinakiramdaman nya kung may taong lalapit saka nya binalik ang attensyon nya sa akin. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa.
I thought he'll let me go but no.
Sehun kissed my jaw, nipping and savoring the taste of my neck while his hand is still on my mouth, pushing my face to the side. Pilit kong tinatanggal ito but he's too strong. And he even positioned his thigh between my leg to stop me from struggling further. His free hand went to my waist and to my ass. I just stared at our reflection in the mirror. How Sehun lost his mind, trying to force me this.
I stopped resisting and Sehun noticed it. He gently turned my head to face him still with his hands on my mouth. Sinalubong ko ang tingin ni Sehun. Tears threatening to spill. He slowly leaned and kissed the back of his hand where my lips at as a tear fell from his eyes. Inalis na nya ang kamay nya sa labi ko.
Sehun cried on my shoulder.
I wanted to get mad at him but seeing him cry, I couldn't help but get emotional. In an impulse, my hand reached for his soft black hair and ran my fingers through it and both of us didn't say a word. Just complete silence.
Hinatid ako sa bahay ni Sehun. Ni wala pa rin kaming imikan. I know how bad Sehun sees himself right now. Na pakiramdam nya nagkamali na naman sya at sinaktan nya na naman ako.. na naman. I just don't want him to keep blaming himself so nanahimik ako.
"Luhan," I cut him off.
"Forget it, Sehun. Don't worry hindi ko ilalayo ang kambal sayo. Mauna na ako. Good night." I glanced at him one last time and there goes his eyes again. Loneliness. I opened the door and went back inside. The twins greeted me, pero wala pa si Kharin?
Nung gabing yun, natulog ang kambal sa master bedroom. Nagising ako nang may marinig akong malakas na kalabog na tila nahulog na display. Pero dahil sa biglang pagbangon ko, nagising tuloy ang kambal. Masama ang kutob ko, alas-dos na sino pa ang maglalakad sa baba? At ayoko naman takutin ang kambal. Kinakabahan na ako.
"Luna, Hansol. Maglaro tayo ha? Dun muna kayo sa cabinet at wag kayong lalabas hangga't hindi ko binubuksan. Wag kayong gagawa ng ingay okay?" I instructed them. Tumango lang sila kaya pinasok ko sila sa cabinet. Isa yung cabinet na hindi mo mapapansin dahil kakulay ng wall. Sliding sya so walang handles. Tapos kinuha ko yung phone ko sa bedside table.
Nakarinig ako ng boses...
Alam kong hindi si Kharin yun.
Nakarinig ako ang yapak ng paa kaya agad akong pumasok sa banyo saka bumukas ang pinto. Narinig ko ang ingay na tila ba meron itong hinahalungkat sa drawer at boses ng dalawang lalaking hindi ko kilala. Dinial ko nang dinial number ni Kharin pero wala. At nakita ko yung number ni Sehun. Dinial ko.
Isang ring... dalawang ring...
"Hello? Luhan?"
Bumukas ang pinto.. at...
Kinaladkad ako nung lalaki.
"Sehun... help us!" I shouted.
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Sehun can't really help it when Luhan is around. Nakakastress na tong dalawa. But good, Sehun to the rescue! Daddy baba!💓