Taemin watched Minho hastened to him. With every step, the pressure in his chest increased as if he'd dive into the deep ocean. No, as if he was pulled into the water against his will. He couldn't breathe and the pressure in his chest reached a dangerous level. Was it possible for a lung to implode?
There Minho stood, hardly one step away. His eyes were as red as they would cry blood at any moment. Taemin felt like he was drowning. Minho grabbed his wrist and squeezed it tightly. Too tightly. Yet the older boy didn't say a word. Taemin wished Minho would say something, but he remained silent. His grip, on the other hand, was still as harsh as before.
"You're hurting me," Taemin whispered. Minho seemed to respond. But not as Taemin had hoped. Instead, Minho pulled him close just to immediately push him in a different direction. Next thing Taemin knew was how his head slammed against a concrete wall and his wrist still hurt like hell. His right hand began to go numb, but M didn't seem to notice. Minho approached him. His eyes fixated on Taemin's lips. Just when Taemin thought Minho couldn't come closer, he felt Minho's breath on his cheek. Taemin was neither an innocent angel nor naive. He knew what was to come. Yet, Minho stood frozen. One, two, three, four ... second. How long were they in this awkward position? Taemin had lost track of time because his heart was beating with double speed. His right hand was probably beyond remedy.
"Please, you're hurting me," he repeated. Minho backed off suddenly as if he had received an electric shock and Taemin was the power source.
At that moment, Minho's car arrived. The driver got out to open both doors.
"Get in," Minho demanded. And that was all he had said until they got home. The ride was like a scene from a silent movie. No one had lost a single word. As if someone had pressed pause and their fight had taken a break. However, Minho's anger didn't decrease a bit, just like Taemin's panic. Minho forced himself not to worry, yet he couldn't take his eyes to form Taemin's wounded wrist. That will certainly leave bruises for days. He wasn't aware of how brutal he had been. He should have known it better. Taemin had a very slim figure, almost fragile. It'd take much force to hurt such a person.
When they finally got home Taemin Taemin hurried to his room. He wasn't a coward, just senseful. Well, sometimes he avoided confrontations, but who didn't do that from time to time. Minho ran after him and with his long legs, he reached Taemin quickly, just before Taemin reached the last two stairs. Minho reflexively grabbed Taemin's wrist only to let go immediately as Taemin cried in pain.
"What the hell happened earlier?" He finally asked the question which he should have asked for more than 30 minutes ago.
"Woo Bin surprised me. I didn't know what he was about to do." Taemin explained.
"So you thought you should play along?"
"What do you mean 'play along'? I tried to push him away from me." Taemin defended himself.
"It didn't look like you did."
"But I did. And what do you even care?" Taemin couldn't explain why, but he was suddenly angry. Despite the situation he was in, he was an honest man. He didn't like to lie. Actually, he barely lied. He preferred silent than lies. Therefore he hated it when people called him a liar.
"I don't like my property to run around and spread its legs for everyone." Taemin wasn't sure which part of this sentence bothered him more. That he was like an object or an animal that would belong to Minho or that he was called a whore.
"We need to get clear about this once for all. I'm not a slut, and if I'd sleep with the entire city, it's still none of your business. Because you.don't.own.me." Taemin announced. To him, the discussion was finished. He considered himself a rational person who didn't get himself into a pointless debate. No good characteristic for a prospective psychiatrist, he knew that.
"You're not talking to me that way," Minho said, clenching his teeth in anger. As Taemin rolled his eyes and turned around, he lost his last piece of self-control and pulled Taemin on the upper arm, however, stronger than he'd intended. He just wanted Taemin to turn back. But instead, Taemin lost his balance. He fell down the stairs.
For a few seconds, everything was silent. Then, all Minho heard was Taemin's screaming. Taemin cried in pain. Minho was used to people crying but the way Taemin cried - Minho thought – was like a kid. And the fact that Taemin looked like a high school student, despite being 24, wasn't helping at all. Although Minho was labeled as a criminal and he admitted he wasn't always innocent; he could never harm a child.
"I didn't mean this to happen," Minho said, as he hurried to Taemin. However, Taemin couldn't hear him through the sobbing. He tried to stand up, but his leg was like paralyzed. The pain was unbearable and indescribable. There was no blood, but it felt like someone stabbed a knife through his bone. At least, that was how he imagined being injured with a knife. It was just the worst pain he could imagine.
"The doctor is on her way, hang in there." Minho tried to calm the crying boy.
"Everything will be fine, I promise." He tried anew and once again without success. Usually, if he inflicted pain on somebody, he wouldn't need to comfort the person. What would ordinary people do in such a situation? Dumb question, normal and him? That was a dead end. So he relied on his big brother's instinct. He might not be a good man, but he wasn't a bad brother. What would he do if Yoogeun was crying?
"Shall I hold you?" Minho asked. Spoken it sounded even more stupid than in his head. Taemin just looked at him, saying nothing, but his crying softened. Just like Yoogeun, Minho thought and helped Taemin to sit up. He pulled Taemin gently to his chest. Now he could feel clearly how the other boy was shivering. Taemin buried his face in his shoulder. As slender as Taemin was, Minho wouldn't have thought, the boy could be so soft. Having Taemin in his arms reminded him of hugging a teddy bear, as if Taemin was a giant teddy bear. He gently stroked Taemin's head and kept saying that everything would be fine. Finally, it seemed to work. Taemin slowly calmed down. As Minho looked down to wipe the younger's tears, his finger touched Taemin's rosy lips. He wasn't aware that he once again obsessively stared at them until someone knocked on the door and interrupted his thoughts. He immediately let go of Taemin to invite the family doctor in.
Taemin was surprised how quickly the doctor made it. She was barely older than his own mother, but much smaller. She carried a red emergency bag and a portable X-ray equipment. As Taemin suspected, his left leg was broken. She gave him two painkillers and something to calm him down. The pills worked fast. While Minho was still talking to the doctor, or to be more exact, while Minho received specific instructions from her, Taemin fell asleep.
________________________________
Minho gently put Taemin on the bed and carefully put a pillow under his feet. He didn't want to embrace Taemin again, but he couldn't leave an injured person slept on the couch, right? He covered the younger boy up and turned off the light. Then he looked at Taemin one last time to make sure he didn't forget anything.
"I'm sorry," he muttered. He should have said it aloud much earlier. But it was easier to apologize when the other person was asleep. Because of that, he wasn't a coward, was he?
Minho let himself falling down his bed. He could sense it was going to be a sleepless night again. The sleeping pills seemed to lose their effect. He should have asked Doctor Song for a new prescription. Through the open window, Minho stared into the darkness. The whole day was shown again in his head. Suddenly it was clear in his mind, he would have kissed Taemin twice. He wanted to kiss Taemin twice.
Why did I want to do it? He wondered. No, that was the wrong question. Why hadn't he done it?
Minho jumped up and hurried to Taemin's room. Just a kiss, Taemin wouldn't even notice. He sat down next to his still sleeping husband and leaned forward. The distance between them was shorter and shorter and finally, their lips met. Minho didn't expect the lips of a man to be so soft. But then again, he had never kissed another man.
Actually, a kiss was all he wanted. However, he couldn't stop. Without realizing it, the innocent kiss turned into a passionate one which let Minho forget everything else; for example, the fact that he had attacked Taemin in his sleep. Only when he had to gasp for air, he noticed that Taemin had opened his eyes. But Minho didn't care. He kissed Taemin's neck and his hands found their way under the younger's shirt.
"What are you doing?" He heard Taemin asked in confusion and decided to ignore it.
"I don't understand," Taemin said, Minho finally looked at his so-called husband. Until now he wasn't aware of those beautiful eyes Taemin had.
"Do you understand this?" He asked before kissing Taemin again like there was no tomorrow. To his surprise, Taemin kissed back. He was wrong. This was what he wanted.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said breathlessly. Minho didn't know how it happened, but there they were, both shirtless. He enjoyed Taemin's warmth and Taemin's tender skin on his. Then his hands moved lower and he took off the last piece clothing on Taemin. Minho placed a gentle kiss on Taemin's belly and slowly lowered his head. Now he was exactly where he wanted to be. He looked down and suddenly froze.
"I don't know how to do it," he said, still unmoving. How should he know when he had never been together with a man? Next, he only heard Taemin yelling "What?" before the younger boy kicked him out of bed with his sound leg. His head slammed against the hard cold floor and at that moment, he realized he was still in his room. All alone.
"When did I fall asleep?" He wondered and breathed out. Luckily it was just a dream. Yet, what did people say about dreams? They reflected our hidden desires, didn't they?
"Fuck," He exclaimed.
What do you think "wanna-be-straight" Minho will do, now when he is falling for Taemin?
Please give this chapter a star if you like it :) Thank you