This is the temporary halo of light you bathe in
See the ringlets of gold crumple down your neck, your shoulders, your collarbones
You reach your hand out and for a microsecond you think that you can catch this light,
Put it in a vial,
Immortalise it
Forever
(because oh what a godly thing to have what a sacred what a temporary nice thing)
You have been living like a seedling, your hands outstretched towards the light,
And it is as you've been genetically programmed to want more
And more
And more
And you like the hair and eyes and words and words words words melded and crafted like metal into sharp sentences
(Are their voices honey?)
But mostly you like the shaded lips and
You close your eyes
My dear
Taste the scent of daisies on your tongue – roll your tongue and savour it
It doesn't last.
hiss hiss hiss
the girl tucks in her fingers towards her palm, scratching it against the chalkboard
she drags it drags it drags it from one end of heaven to another with screeches trailing off, and then falls off the perimeters
the way alice descended into the rabbit hole
into hell
you close your eyes
and tears swell like
boils and warts
peppering your skin
and you want to pull at the membrane lining your lungs and your stomach and
scream WHY
WHY WHY WHY
WHY do you make me like this, o' maker
WHY do you make me love like this, o' maker
WHY did you make me?
but most importantly you look at your heart and ask why
why did I decide to love the light
where all along
sitting on the throne was
the alluring and seducing
darkness
wielding your nervous system like a sword
and in control all along
~
a/n: hi this is my mental state now its just a lot of my issues put into words rn
LOL ill be back with better updates soon <3