I went back to the tea shop a few days later, my phone heavier in my pocket ever since I put off replying to Nate's email.
I still needed to, and my fingers subconsciously found the sides of my phone as I thought about it.
A waiter stopped by my table and I wrenched my hand away as if I'd burnt a layer of my skin off.
He raised an eyebrow. "What can I get you?"
I cleared my throat. "Cinnamon."
He left, but only after shooting me a curious glance.
I slumped against my seat as soon as he disappeared, forcing my fingers to play with corners of a napkin instead.
It wasn't like I didn't want to talk to Nate. I always wanted to talk to him. It was just the idea that I'd slept with someone else then instantly thought of him afterwards that had me dreading the exchange.
What if he could just sense it? I couldn't remember if he was that good at perception.
That was a worrying thought.
I'd always been terrified of forgetting things about him. How he looked, what he smelt like, what he tasted like, the feeling of his shirt underneath my skin, his skin underneath mine, the shape of his lips.
I needed to see him again. Remember what I could.
My tea arrived with a different waiter, and I quickly resolved that I'd email him back as soon as I got the chance.
Then I paid and left the shop, taking a few steps away before quickly doubling back.
He was where I found him last time, sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the trash can.
I hesitated before I approached him. "Hey."
He glanced up, eyes flickering when he recognized me. "Oh, it's you again."
I stood there awkwardly as his eyes skimmed me over. "Yeah."
He lifted something up between his fingers. "Care for a smoke?"
I walked over to him and he shifted around to make room for me.
"What is that?"
He smiled. "Who's asking?"
"A concerned citizen?"
His fingers played with the stick in his hand. "It's weed."
"No it's not."
He narrowed his eyes. "Oh?"
I stretched out my hand and he dropped the stick in my hand. "It's just a cigarette."
"Not everyone knows that. Just hand out a few sticks, label it, and people will buy it."
"But they're completely different things."
"They don't know that."
I handed him the cigarette back. "Don't they come after you?"
He tsked as if I was one of his stupid customers, unexperienced and dumb. "Never do business in the same place twice."
"Good strategy."
He grinned, sticking the cigarette in a small plastic bag. "You'd be surprised."
"So how much do you make?"
"Not enough." He sighed, but his lips twitched humorously. "Do you want some?"
"No, thanks."
He shrugged, packing his things away. Then he stretched out his legs, crossed his ankles and folded his hands behind his head. "So what do you do?"
"Still in school."
He scrunched his nose. "Gross. Do you have a job on the side?"
"Not since a few months ago."
Then I nodded towards the shop. "Do they have an opening?"
He shook his head. "I could ask around somewhere else if you'd like."
"Yeah?"
He nodded. He was about to say something when the back door opened and the same waiter from earlier stepped out.
He glanced between the two of us then sighed. "Break's over."
"Right."
The two of them disappeared inside before I could get a name.
—
Scarlet met me at the club, the same one we'd gone to the first time we met.
It was busier than before, louder, messier.
We were at the dance floor seconds after we greeted one another.
She wore a tight, red dress this time, a little shorter than the black one. She slung her arms over my shoulders and pulled herself tightly against me, grinding her hips against mine while I held her from her waist, digging my fingers into her lower back.
Her eyes met mine in a sharp contrast, dark, needy.
It was nearing midnight and I had a 9AM class the next day, but I wanted her. I felt it when one of her hands found my hair, which I'd grown out a little since I left home. Then she suddenly pulled me in and let her lips collide with mine.
I remembered our first night together. Her bed, her discarded clothes somewhere on the floor, the rolled up condom, the taste of her skin.
I wanted her again because I missed that feeling of having someone warm beside me, because I missed Nate.
"My place again?" she asked.
I nodded, slightly embarrassed.
"It's fine, come on, I'll call the taxi."
We left the club and Scarlet called the cab just like she had last time.
"Are you hungry?" she asked once she put her phone back in her clutch. "I can order Chinese if you want."
Did Nate like Chinese? I couldn't remember if we'd ever had it together.
"Sure," I said, wanting to try it out. "I haven't had it in years."
Scarlet smiled and busied herself with her phone again.
I wasn't sure if we would be eating before or after I slid her out of her dress.
I watched her lips move as she spoke on the phone, neatly painted in a neutral color. Her eyes, large and honey brown, were lined with dark kohl, eyelashes covered in mascara.
I admired her tan complexion, which was evident even under the flickering, yellow streetlights.
The cab came by shortly, and Scarlet slowly took a seat on my lap as soon as I hopped in.
I glanced at the driver from the rearview mirror, not knowing if he noticed, but if he had then it didn't seem to bother him.
My hands fell to her waist again.
She kissed me briefly on the lips. "Do you have class tomorrow?"
I nodded, forgetting how to use my tongue because her hands had suddenly wandered too close to the hem of my jeans.
"No breakfast then?" she murmured, her lips brushing against the side of my neck. "Or I could wake you up early."
"No, it's fine," I managed to say. "I'll get something from the cafeteria."
She didn't look too fazed by that.
Her fingers undid the button on my jeans, sliding the zipper down.
She looked at me from beneath her lashes. "Would you like to wait until we get there?"
I shrugged. "Do what you'd like. I don't mind."
Scarlet grinned. "But what would you like?"
"You know what I like."
Something in her eyes twinkled. "I think I'll make you wait."
"Great." I shifted underneath her.
She grinned.
We got to her apartment after what seemed like years. Scarlet tried to distract me from the ache in my jeans, but a heated make out session did nothing to help.
Food arrived a few minutes after we did, and by then, Scarlet had disappeared into her bathroom and emerged moments later in nothing but a pair of shorts and a tank top, slightly hiding the curves she'd shown off in her little dress.
I watched her walk around her apartment like that, gathering money from her room, bending over to straighten up the cushions on her couch.
When the doorbell rang, I was half tempted to ignore it and just pick her up to bed.
She exchanged her money for a couple of plastic bags before taking a seat on the couch. She placed the food on the coffee table and started unpacking it.
"This smells so good," she moaned, uncovering a container of rice.
I sat beside her on the couch and she handed me my own food.
"Since I didn't know what you'd like to eat and didn't bother asking because you looked so distracted, I got you my usual."
I picked up my chopsticks. "Thanks. And sorry about that, I didn't realize I was daydreaming."
"It's okay."
"Do you order Chinese a lot?" I asked.
Scarlet crossed her legs, moving towards me in the process. I tried not to stare at her chest.
"Whenever I feel like it. I like Indian more, sometimes Thai. What's your favorite kind?"
"Homemade sandwiches," I said. "Nutella or peanut butter."
I had taken him up to the roof, something I never did with anyone before. It was my place. I thought things would last between us much longer than they did. I thought he'd wanted the same thing.
I remembered the look on his face when I produced the sandwiches from my bag, the way he smiled in amusement because of all the food one could possibly bring on a date, I got him sandwiches.
Scarlet laughed. "That's not a meal."
I raised my eyebrows at her. "You've clearly never had a good sandwich."
"And I'm assuming you're the greatest at making them?"
"Of course."
She shook her head, taking another bite from her food. "You have to make me one, then. I haven't had a peanut butter sandwich in forever."
I smiled. "All right."
After our dinner, Scarlet brought out a bottle of expensive looking white wine and set it on the table. She poured the drink out into two tall glasses and handed one to me.
"You don't mind do you?" she asked.
"The wine?"
"This. Dinner, drinks."
"You paid," I said.
She rolled her eyes. "I know how expensive student loans can get."
I scanned her apartment. "And does it ever pay off?"
"If you're doing it right."
I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. "You did well."
"I'd like to believe so," she said, setting her glass aside.
I barely managed to do the same before she pushed me against her couch and swung her legs on either side of me, the same way she did in the cab.
Then she tugged the rest of our clothes off.
Slowly, I lifted her from my lap and pushed her against the couch so she was looking up at me, half-surprised and half-amused.
"I had other ideas," she said as I busied myself pressing kisses against her neck.
"Maybe for round two."
She laughed, her fingers lacing with my hair as my head moved further down her body.
—
I got that warmth I was after.
We lay on her couch when we were done, barely fitting our two bodies on it. She lay across my chest while I placed a hand on her back.
"So what's your story?" she asked.
I couldn't go to sleep, and neither could she.
"I don't have one."
"Everyone has one."
"You go first," I said.
I was distracted, because just like the first time I laid with Scarlet, I still craved Nate afterwards.
"I grew up in a farm," she started. "My parents hated it. They wanted to live in the city more than anything else in the world. But my great aunt always took care of the farm like it was more than just her home, and we lived there with her because no one else from our family wanted to. Sure, my parents hated the farm, but they loved my great aunt more. It was huge, and my dad made big money selling our wins.
"Then my great aunt passed away. I was around fourteen when it happened. She had a stroke. My parents waited until after the funeral and then as soon as it passed, they started searching for ways to sell the farm and earn the most money they could after it. I didn't mind, I was curious about the city. I'd only been there a few times before, but I loved it, just like my parents did.
"My parents found a company, small but promising, and they sold our land to it. They still pay my dad a lot of money, till this day. The company is a big success, and with the money, my parents could afford paying for a good school for me. I went there and studied well enough to get into a good university."
She paused, and I instinctively tightened my hold against her. "What is it?" I asked gently.
"Just...I wonder what would've happened if we didn't sell the farm. I liked it there, I miss it. A lot."
"What do you miss the most?"
"My great aunt's strawberry tarts."
I smiled, running my fingers through her hair. "Do you have the recipe?"
"I think so. I tried making it a few times after she died but it didn't taste the same."
"Secret ingredient maybe?"
She shook her head. "She would've written it down somewhere."
I combed her hair, thinking of strawberry tarts and Nate's obsession with tea because both were so sweet.
"I told you my story, what's yours?"
"Kind of the exact opposite," I said. "I never lived anywhere outside the city."
She hummed. "What are you really doing here?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said you're studying, but you could've done that back where you lived. Why so far away?"
I swallowed. "I needed fresh air."
"You're avoiding someone."
"It's like you're the one who spent four years studying human behavior."
"Tell me about her," she pushed.
"Him," I corrected softly.
She pushed off my chest. "Seriously?"
"Yeah."
She stared at me. "That's...different."
I shrugged.
"So, are you using me to get over him?"
I frowned. "I-I'm not sure."
She considered it, settling down against my chest again. "What happened?"
I told her about Nate, everything I could remember on the spot.
That's how we spent the rest of the night, exchanging stories back and forth.
"I kissed a girl back in high school," Scarlet said. "It was a dare."
"Did you like it?" I asked.
She shook her head. "It was weird. I like men. A lot."
I laughed.
"Want to hear something stupid?" I said at some point. Scarlet had brought back the bottle of wine and we took turns drinking from it.
"I love hearing stupid things, they make me feel smart."
I shook my head. "I lied to Nate and he thinks I've had a boyfriend for a year now."
She snorted, taking another swig from the bottle. "No way. Does he have a name?"
"Raphael."
She choked. "Nice one."
"Original."
"A hundred percent."
I groaned. "He believes me. I'm lying to him."
"It's funny," she said, "considering that he did the same thing before, didn't he?"
Tom. I remembered telling her about that, too.
"Yeah," I frowned. "I didn't realize."
She shrugged. "You two are more alike than you think."
I wondered if Nate ever thought the same.
Hey! It's been a while but I got side tracked writing something else and ugh.
Thanks for reading <3