THERE WAS QUITE possibly nothing that she had experienced before that was as miserable as her current predicament. Any complaints that she might've made in her past could all be thrown out the window. They were too minuscule in comparison, problems the size of a mere thimble compared to now. After all, she was stuck in the middle of the forest with a bullet wedged in her leg. The only proper meal she had in the last twenty-four hours was a piece and a half of red bean paste bread and she had barely slept a wink.
What, in the life of an average high schooler, could possibly beat that?
"Rest while you can," Nathan had advised.
However, that was easier said than done. From where she laid down, Devora could see every last brilliant star that shimmered in the pitch-black night sky. While it was a pretty sight, it didn't give her the same sense of security it usually did back at home. After all, the stars were silent companions. They had long burned out, dead for more than a few million years before Devora was even conceived. Now, instead of assurance, Devora only felt dread at the sight of those glittering diamonds. She silently prayed that it wouldn't be the last time she could ever trace the constellations.
Ever since she was a child, Devora was a hopeless romantic. Fairytales had taught her that wishing upon evening stars could someday allow her to meet the man of her dreams. Maybe they could wed on a beach of an exotic island with the mesmerizing backdrop of the sunset when they said their vows. That image alone was enough to stir an obsessive fire within her.
Occasionally, in her more positive days, she viewed the end of each day as the start of a new one. Life and death came as a set. There was never one without the other. Hence, whenever the day ended, it meant that another would soon begin, a fresh new page for her to write her story on.
Nevertheless, sometimes, she would still find herself stuck in a dark ditch. Not every day could be filled with sunshine and rainbows. The deeper, darker parts of her mind would sometimes forget that dusk eventually brings the dawn. Perhaps the end really meant the end.
With that said, twilight became a period of waiting for Devora. It was the time to see whether things would truly start afresh, light spilling into the sky once more, or if the night would never cease to end, trapping the world in an eternity of darkness. Now, Devora could put a true idea to what 'the end' might actually be.
Death.
This might just be it. It might just actually be the final chapter of her story where her tale ends.
Much like most other people, Devora had hoped that she would be old, frail, and haggard before the time came for her to depart the world of the living. Preferably, she would be surrounded by her children as well as their grandchildren. Her once-young and devastatingly handsome husband would be by her bedside, cradling her hand close to his chest. In Devora's imagination, they would all whisper kisses of their love and press kisses on her forehead before the angels would finally bring her to a world where sleep was eternal.
Unfortunately, the last few hours proved this nonsensically positive dream to be nothing but such— dreams. If she died tonight, all her simple desires would be nothing but fruitless yearnings. She would die lonely, unwanted, perhaps even forgotten. She wouldn't expect herself to be missed and the realization of her current predicament sent a great sorrow straight into her heart.
Whimpering, Devora curled tightly into a ball, her tears dampening the earth beneath her body. Her fingers were clenched onto whatever remained of her dirty and bedraggled shirt, legs tucked close to her body even though pain surged through her with every movement. The physical wounds on her body didn't matter right now. In fact, they were doing too little to distract her from the mental onslaught her own emotions were throwing at her.
A soft 'thud' came from a short distance away and soon after, a familiar pair of boots stood just right in front of her face. Nathan bent down, gently scooping her into his warm arms before using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away her tears. His rough, calloused fingers held Devora's face, drawing circles on her cheeks with his thumbs. Any stray tear that had leaked too far was wiped away immediately before it would reach her jaw.
"Why are you crying?" He asked. It was a question which only triggered more tears to flow from Devora's eyes. Nathan's eyes widened in horror once her whimpers grew, panic rising as he tried to hold her closer to his own chest. "Shit, Evans, why are you crying? Is it too cold? Ah, I would make a fire if I could but the light might catch those men's attention. No? Then is it your leg? Is it aching really badly? I think I have some pain killers in the pouch that Candice gave me..."
Letting Devora rest her head on his lap, Nathan fumbled at the small bag, digging through the pouch as he threw out one item after another. Every time an item landed on the floor, Nathan shook his head in dismay, murmuring a soft "No, that's not it."
When he finally found what he was looking for, his face lit up with relief. Holding a small pill out along with a tiny flask of water, Nathan helped Devora with the pain killers before sighing, his posture slouching a little.
"It's not much but hopefully it can still help a little with the pain," he muttered.
Silence fell between the two. Only the occasional hoots from a nearby owl could be heard, accompanied by the swaying of grass whenever the wind blew a little too strongly. With her head snug on Nathan's lap, she could see every detail on his face. It was dark in the forest, sure, but the moonlight was more than enough to make the man shine. After all, they were just inches apart from each other. It was hard for her not to stare.
Fully concentrated on packing up his belongings which were now scattered around them on the forest floor, Nathan hadn't even noticed Devora staring. She was fully engrossed, tracing each curve of his face with her eyes, silently mapping down the highs and lows. His eyes, she realized, were colored a deep brown, decorated with golden flecks that seemed like it had stolen its color from the light of the setting sun. The freckles that dotted his face crafted constellation after constellation, a remarkable story told by the faint dots spread across his cheeks and nose bridge.
The further her eyes trailed down, the more details Devora seemed to catch. Eventually, her eyes landed on a long scar that ran from the base of Nathan's neck all the way to the back of his head, disappearing behind his ear, past his neckline, and out of her line of sight. The faint red jagged line missed a critical vein by mere millimeters. Even just slightly out of place and Nathan would have not been here with her tonight. A shiver ran down Devora's spine as she thought of the various possibilities as to how he could've gotten a scar like that.
A deadly battle? Maybe he had fallen down in his youth? Was he threatened at knifepoint?
"You don't have to cry, you know." Nathan's calm voice pulled Devora out of her reverie. She immediately shifted her gaze away from the fading scar and back to Nathan's eyes. "I'm here to protect you. You'll be safe. You are safe. I'll make sure of that so please don't waste your tears."
For a second there, Devora wondered if Nathan Jerald was a mind-reader. He had so easily seen through her innermost thoughts, bringing them to light before shattering her worries. She would be lying if she had said that his words brought no effect on her. It was, at that moment, the most soothing thing that could've been said. That was all the reassurance she needed to breathe properly again.
Without meaning to, Devora had stretched out her hand to Nathan's face. She lightly touched his cheek, tracing down towards his jaw before finally landing on the scar that had caught her attention. Her fingertips brushed against the jarring red line for just a split second before Nathan jolted, shifting his neck away from her hand instantly.
"Sorry!" She immediately apologized. "I... I didn't mean t-to."
He clenched his jaw, his muscles flexing.
"I— It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Reaching up, his large hand covered the obscured the scar from Devora's view. Nathan's eyes darted away, landing anywhere but on Devora. "I'm just a little sensitive there."
Using her elbows to prop herself up from Nathan's lap, Devora struggled with great effort to sit up.
"How..." she stammered, not sure if she should ask. In the end, she went through with it anyway. "How did you get that scar? It looks like it could've been deadly."
Nathan's eyes darted over, casting a quick glance at Devora before shifting his gaze back to the forest floor.
"Injuries are an occupational hazard. It's nothing I worry about. It wasn't that bad."
Silence ensued. In her head, Devora had a good guess what it was that Nathan Jerald did for a living. However, it wasn't something that could be said out in the open for the world to hear. Worryingly, his line of work was most likely very much illegal.
Knowing that, Devora wasn't too sure if she should still be relieved she had someone by her side. She had just gotten out of a precarious situation. Now, she was still a long way from safety, it seemed like. Had she jumped out of a butcher's chopping board only to land in the paws of a tiger?
With how quiet their surroundings were, Devora grew worried that Nathan was able to hear the thundering of her heart. It seemed to pound against her chest almost maniacally. She could hear the thuds right in her ear, echoing, a reminder that she still had reason to fear for her own life. The only way she knew to clear up the building anxiety in her heart was to talk. The more random the topic, the better.
She chuckled awkwardly, wiggling away from Nathan just to put a few more inches between their bodies. Rubbing her nose, Devora coughed a few times.
"You know, I actually thought you were out for my life, the first time you showed up," she admitted. "You received my attacks so swiftly that I thought I was a goner for sure. Who knew that you actually arrived to break us out?"
"I blocked them easily only because you suck at fighting," Nathan bluntly retorted.
"I guess you must hate me, huh? Since I'm such a horrible person to be stuck with while on the run. I can't fight against our pursuers and now I have an injury too. I'm nothing more than a complete burden."
Nathan flinched at her words.
"Hate is too strong of a word. I've never said that I hated you."
"Thanks. Well, I hate me."
Over their heads, the leaves rustled. In the dark, they were mere shadows of black that swayed in the direction where the wind blew. Over the navy sky, Devora caught sight of the silhouette of a bird that soared past, a trail of stardust in its wake. How great it must be to be able to fly away and be free. Without a single care in the world, it could go anywhere.
She hadn't even noticed that she had shut up for a second too long. Her teeth had gnawed a hole through her skin, drawing blood from her bottom lip.
Slowly, Nathan started to speak. His voice was almost a low whisper and if it weren't for the quietude that's surrounded them, Devora might not even be able to hear him. "I've seen enough in this world to know the differences and similarities between love and hate. There's a fine line between the two and people often misunderstand one for the other."
Devora barked out in laughter though the joy was faked. "Does that mean that I'm actually a narcissist?"
"No. Maybe. I don't know." Turning to face her, Nathan leaned in a little. He seemed to wear a smile, finally. The corner of his lips turned up just the slightest. "But I can help you learn if you want."
The night was bitterly cold but in those words, Devora felt a surge of blooming warmth. She mentally berated herself for doubting Nathan's good intentions. No matter what his purpose was in breaking her out of there, he had still done it. He still protected her, risking his life and limb for her safety. Not only that, he seemed to be trying so hard just to make her laugh, assuring her constantly that he was there for her. It was the first time Devora had ever met someone who was willing to do so much for a stranger.
She had decided then that Nathan Jerald was a strange man that should be feared but not for the reasons she had originally come up with. He was handsome, quick at adapting, skilled, and ridiculously charming. If she kept her guard down for even a split second, he might just be able to worm into her heart right after it was torn up by her previous crush.
'It's too painful to let someone in,' Devora reminded herself. She had to be very careful when choosing who she could trust and who she could never. Although, maybe just for a night, Nathan could be trusted.
————
social media:
instagram: twelvewonderingstars (personal: aurorayeo)
twitter: aurorayeo (personal: aurorayyq)
facebook: twelvewonderingstars