My fist connected with the Oak door of Chace’s house in rapid successions, hoping the incessant pounding would motivate Chace to open it quickly. The cold rain was falling down steadily on my shoulders, seeping through my clothing, and chilling me to the bone. Shivers wracked my body as I waited, my fist turning white from how tightly I was clenching it. After a few more moments of fruitless knocking, I decided to test the doorknob. To my surprise, it was unlocked. Hesitating only a split-second, I pushed the door open and slipped inside.
“Chace?” I called, brushing my damp bangs out of my face. “Where are you?”
No answer came.
Frowning, I moved over to the living room, peering inside it.
No one was there.
“Chace?” I tried again, my heart quickening. “Where are you?”
The silence in the house was deafening. My mind went to the worst-case scenario. Could my words have caused him to inflict self-harm? With panic sneaking up my throat, I started jogging through the house; my eyes peeled for the brunet. Where was he?
After a thorough search of the first floor, I stomped up the steps to the second, my nerves on end. With each second that passed, my anxiety grew. My stomach was clenching and unclenching uncomfortably and the urge to vomit kept appearing, but I forced it back. Maybe Chace was just in his room playing videogames. Unfortunately for me, I hadn’t gotten the full tour of his house earlier, so I had to try every closed door to figure out what room was what.
The first door led to a small broom closet, where clean towels and extra blankets were placed. There was a surprising amount of both for a house with solely two people… but then again, the house itself was rather large for Chace and his dad. Moving on, the second door I opened seemed to be a bedroom. Whose, I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. No one was in it. Frustrated, I nearly slammed it shut. Had Chace gone out? I swore I saw his car in the driveway!
Coming to the third door, I heard an odd noise. However, I couldn’t place it. “Please let him be in here,” I breathed, pushing open the third door in the hallway.
A wave of humid air met my face and I blinked, my eyes quickly adjusting to the brightly lit room. As they adjusted, I realized it was a bathroom. An occupied bathroom.
Chace was lying in the bathtub, completely motionless. The faucet was still running, explaining the mysterious noise I’d heard, and the water was overflowing onto the floor. Bubbles covered the top layer of water, covering most of his body and whatever else lay beneath the water.
My heart jumped into my throat and a feeling of horror washed over me. “No way,” I croaked. Nearly losing my balance on the slippery floor as I struggled to make my way over to him. “Chace!”
Immediately his eyes shot open. Not expecting it, a startled scream escaped my throat. “Rosie!” he cried, pushing himself up in the bathtub. A fine blush spread across his cheeks. “W-what the hell are you doing in here?”
My eyes travelled to his now exposed bare chest and stayed glued there. “I… I…”
“Do you always walk in on people in the bathtub?” he demanded, but I could now hear a tone of amusement in his voice.
Blushing, I managed to pull my gaze away from his body. “I thought maybe you’d…”
“Tried to kill myself?” he finished for me dryly. “Please.”
“I’m sorry, Chace,” I apologized quickly, ducking my head. “I’m really sorry. Let me explain myself. I have to come clean—”
“Hold up,” he interjected. “Wait. Don’t apologize to me, Rosie.”
I glanced up at him. “Why not?”
He offered me a small smile. “Because I did lie to you. You’ll have to let me explain myself. Please hear me out.”
“Of course!” I agreed easily, reaching out and grabbing his shoulders. “I’ll definitely hear you out!”
Chuckling, he gently pushed me away. “Um, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get out and get dressed…”
Now blushing, I nodded quickly, scrambling to my feet. “I’ll just, uh, wait, um…”
“Go wait in my room,” he suggested, shooing me with his hands. “Last door on the left on the other side of the hallway.”
“Okay,” I responded, escaping the over heated bathroom. Somehow I couldn’t manage to shake the image of Chace’s bare torso from my mind. It was like it was burned here. “I’m such a pervert…”
The normalcy of Chace’s room surprised me. I’d expected to see a gigantic flat screen on the wall and maybe surround sound and a few couches. Instead, I found a regular box television and a simple king-sized bed. There were no couches, or any extra furniture of any type. A dresser stood in the corner of the room, and an x-box 360 was perched on the T.V stand— and the game system was definitely the most expensive thing in the room. It seemed Chace was very down to earth.
Not sure where to place myself, I flopped down on his bed, running a hand through my hair. A breathy chuckle left my lips. How had I came to the conclusion of Chace killing himself when he was just taking a breath? Noah’s words were affecting me way too much. It wasn’t fair to Chace. I didn’t want to think like that either. Somehow I had to find a way to stop myself from thinking like that.
A few moments later, Chace, now with a pair of pajama pants on, trudged into the room, his towel resting across his bare shoulders. Sighing, he took a seat next to me on the bed. “So, I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.”
“Yeah,” I agreed quietly, pulling my knees up to my chest. My gaze was trained on a Rise Against poster on the wall, but it was flickering towards Chace’s exposed torso. I silently wished he’d put on a shirt.
“Well, I guess to start off with things, I should tell you my mom doesn’t live in California… in fact, she doesn’t live at all anymore. She died about two years ago to leukemia. Sorry, I shouldn’t have lied about that, Rosie.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”
“So why won’t you look at me?”
Slowly, my eyes travelled to his piercing brown orbs. “It’s not you.”
“What is it then?” he asked, frowning.
“Um, your…” Embarrassed, I lowered my gaze.
To his chest, of course.
“Oh,” he said in realization. “Oh-ho. You want me to put on a shirt, don’t you? You little perv…”
“Oh, shut up!” I snapped, feeling my cheeks warm. “If it was anyone but you it wouldn’t matter—”
“But since I’m your boyfriend you can’t get those nasty thoughts out of your head?” he finished for me.
I gaped at him. “No! I was thinking anything like that.”
He grinned, sliding off his bed and heading toward his closet. “Sure you’re not.”
“Just put a shirt on,” I grumbled.
Laughing, he slipped on a thermal shirt before plopping down next to me again. “Okay, back to being serious again. My parents got their divorce a year before my mom died. At that point, we didn’t know she had leukemia. I think things would have been different if we did know though.”
“Why did they get a divorce?”
“They just weren’t in love anymore. And then my dad decided to move here for work, and because my mom couldn’t afford to take care of both herself and me, I was forced to go with him. The part of him blaming me for their divorce is true though. He actually blames me for her death and their divorce. Saying if they hadn’t gotten divorced then she wouldn’t have died…”
My breath caught in my throat. What kind of father was Jack? Not a very good one from the sounds of it. Who in their right mind would blame their son for his mother’s death? Especially when it was because of a disease they had no control over? “Chace,” I started, placing my hand on his arm. “You’re dad’s a dick.”
Caught off guard by my response, his mouth dropped open and he stared at me. After a few fruitless moment of struggling to find words, he finally began laughing. “You can say that again.”
“There’s no way it was your fault your mom died!”
He nodded. “I know this now.”
“Now?”
“Well, I was two years younger back then. I was sixteen when she died, and sixteen-year olds aren’t exactly the most levelheaded people, are they? I guess the grief just built up over the next year. I lost interest in basically everything. Stopped hanging out with people. Noah was really worried about me. My father kept blaming me for everything. It just got to be too much, you know?”
Not sure of what to say, I just nodded.
Chace’s eyes wandered to the window. “You know how I did it? I jumped off that waterfall at the end of your street. It’s such a pretty place. I went there a lot, so I figured I’d do it somewhere I liked. No one ever really mentioned the fact the bottom was littered with jagged rocks.”
“There’s a sign,” I pointed out. “By the road.”
“Is there?” he mused. “I never noticed it. You can imagine my surprise when I hit the water and a rock went straight into my spine.”
A shudder ran through me.
“You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die? It’s true. Very true. I think I went through my whole childhood in two seconds. The drop is long, but the fall is quick. I can still remember the air rushing through my hair, whistling in my ears. All I was thinking was, no one would miss me. Typical of a suicidal kid, right?” A breathy chuckle left his lips. “I guess I shouldn’t have left a note. Maybe someone might have thought it was an accident. It would have saved me some counseling.” Pausing, he forced a laugh.
“Someone might not have found you,” I whispered, horrified at the thought. If no one came to find him, he would have surely died.
“Who said I wanted to be found?”
His words rattled me. That and how casually he talked about his attempted suicide. Unconsciously, my hand gripped the back of his shirt tightly. Surprised, he glanced at me. I stared at him, my bottom lip quivering. “D-don’t say that!”
“Ah, Rosie—”
“That’s not funny!” I continued, cutting him off in my shaky voice. “You freaked out on me about committing suicide when I wasn’t even planning on it, and here you are wishing you hadn’t been found back then? What the hell, Chace? That’s not fair! I don’t want to hear that from you! I mean, shit, it’s scary!”
“Rosie,” he tried again, putting his palm to his cheek. “I’m sorry. That was a bad joke.”
“Joke?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t serious.”
My lips twitched as I tried to get my emotions under control. “It’s not funny, Chace,” I finally whispered again, blinking rapidly.
Opening his arms, he pulled me to his chest and held me tightly. “I know. Don’t worry about me. I know better now. If I could, I’d go back in time and stop myself from ever attempting to kill myself. It was stupid and foolish of me. You don’t know how much I regret it. Especially because it caused me to lose my friends.”
I snuggled against his chest. “Except Noah.”
“Yeah, but eventually I lost him too, remember?”
“That was your own fault,” I said flatly. “He was just worried.”
Chace puffed out his cheeks. “I know. But I was so sick of everyone judging me with their eyes. That’s why I changed so drastically. I figured no one would ever guess my past as long as I was happy.”
I looked up at him. “Are you happy?”
He smiled down at me. “I am happy. A new start at college was just what I needed. And now I’m really happy, thanks to you.”
“Thanks to me?”
“Yep. Believe it or not, you influence my life a lot. I mean, I never would have guessed I’d be friends with Noah again. Or ever have another girlfriend. Heck, I can even have a civil conversation with my dad if it’s about you.”
“You talk to your dad about me?”
He smiled secretively. “Maybe.”
“I don’t really think I’ve influenced your life that much,” I disagreed, scratching the back of my head sheepishly. “The thing with Noah was more of an accident.”
Chace shrugged. “Accident or not, it was still because of you. Thank you, Rosie.”
Now I blushed. “Don’t thank me…”
“I just did,” he responded with a grin. Without warning, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. “Hey, Rosie…”
“Hmm?”
He studied my face for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, never mind. I think I’ve talked enough for tonight.”
“I’ve actually got something to tell you,” I started, feeling my heart starting to beat. “I, uh…”
Smiling, he pressed a finger to my lips. “Let me correct myself. I think we’ve talked enough tonight. I’m going to guess what you have to tell me is important?”
I nodded.
“Then tell me tomorrow.”
Pulling his hand away from my mouth, I pursed my lips. “Man, and I just got enough courage to tell you.”
Laughing, he patted my head. “Keep that courage for tomorrow. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to tell me something life changing, right? I don’t think I could take any more of that in my life.”
My heart stopped. Was losing my vision considered life changing? I think it fell into the category. It definitely did.
“I’ve had enough of those experiences for three thousand life times,” Chace continued with a sigh. “That’s another reason I like you. You’re so normal— and that’s not a bad thing.”
“Oh,” I responded, keeping a fake smile plastered on my face. “So I’m just normal?”
Rolling his eyes, he elbowed me in the side gently. “You know what I mean, Rosie.”
I forced a giggle, but on the inside, I was squirming. Chace didn’t want me to tell him something life changing? Basically, he didn’t want me to tell him about my disease… But I refused to keep it a secret from him anymore. He came clean with me, so I had to come clean with him. I was scared now though. What if he decided I wasn’t worth it? What if he ditched me because he didn’t want to deal with it? Maybe he’d stay with me for the two months I had left— was that really all I had left?— and then leave me? I didn’t want to think about it. It was too scary.
“Are you hungry?” Chace questioned, breaking my thoughts and running his hand through my hair. “I can make us dinner.”
“No, my dad, um, wants me home,” I lied quickly, struggling to my feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t tell him I was coming back after I left and I promised I’d help him with… Yeah. I have to go.”
Chace pouted. “That’s too bad.”
In spite of my feelings, I smiled. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Maybe over the night I’d think of a good reason for him to stay. A guilt trip? I almost laughed. There was no way I was going that low. Chace was a good guy. I was sure he wouldn’t just dump me… But judging by the way my stomach was twisting, I didn’t believe myself as much as I wanted to.
“Fine, fine. Should I come to your house?”
“Sure,” I replied, nodding and turning toward the door. “See you tomorrow then…”
“Rosie.”
I stopped, twisting around to look at him again. “Yeah?”
His face was inches away from mine. Before I could take a step back away from him, he kissed me. It lasted a long moment before he pulled away and grinned. “You almost forgot your goodnight kiss.”
“Goodnight, Chace.” No sooner had the words left my mouth, a bolt of pain shot through my head. Clenching my teeth, I faced away from him and hurried to the door. Again? I thought angrily. How many headaches was I going to have to deal with a day?
“Careful on your way home!” Chace called just before I shut his door.
Holding my head, I retraced my steps back to the front door. To my annoyance, rain was still falling heavily. In my rush to get to my car, I nearly slipped on the wet pavement. By the time I climbed into the vehicle, my hair was drenched for the second time in a span of two hours. Shifting into reverse, I carefully backed down his driveway and out onto the road. My head was still throbbing, but I managed to focus on the road.
Now alone, I let out a groan. “Now how am I supposed to tell him?” It was a question I didn’t have the answer to. The best I could do was blurt it out and hope he took it well. And if he didn’t… well, I wouldn’t blame him. Basically I was confessing in two months time, I’d need help with pretty much everything I wanted to do. I would just be a bother. Heaving out a heavy sigh, I flipped on my indicator to turn onto my road.
The blast of a truck horn shocked me out of my half-alertness. My eyes snapped wide open. With a shock of horror, I realized even with them open, I couldn’t see.
I was having one of my vision attacks,
Panic seized my heart and I slammed on my breaks, my hands yanking the steering wheel to the right, where I knew the side of the road was. The blaring horn steadily grew louder, filling my ears, and the next thing I knew, I was upside down, pain exploding down my side, my neck twisting into a painful position. I shrieked in terror, my seatbelt digging into my chest, slowly strangling me. My hands grappled at the dashboard, trying to find a grip. The sound of shattering glass met my ears and I felt the razor sharp blades cutting into my exposed flesh as they fell to the roof.
Just when I thought it was over, a dull boom filled my ears and my head smashed against the dashboard. My vision came back for three seconds before my eyes fluttered closed and I lost consciousness.
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Dun. Dun! DUUNN! Another cliff hanger, woo! Sadly, this story is reaching it's 50,000 word mark quickly. I don't want to end it though, so I'm going to make it a little longer :P The plot though is going to be over in a few chapters. But I want to write a little bit about what happens after Rosie tells Chace.
On another note, my grandma kidnapped my dad xD He got out of the hospital about three days ago, but my grandma figured I couldn't take care of him, and she used to be a nurse, so she took him to her house and he was like I WANT TO GO HOME. and she was like, lol nope. So I'm home alone for another few weeks. I feel like I'm in college. I'm going on my third week of being home alone. It's weird.
Anyway! You know the drill! You may not have read A Surreptitious Relationship, but it'd mean a lot to me if you voted for it in the Watty Awards! That story winning really says all my stories are winning :D So even if you read this one, if that one wins, I still feel like this one won too! And remember, even if you use the Wattpad app on your ipod/phone if you go on your regular browser and go to the website, you can vote too! Just go under the Watty Award tabs. I'll put it in the external link. Thanks so much! It really does mean a lot :) Every vote counts. I'm always 700 behind and it'll be a bitch to catch up, haha.