First Impression: nice cover
The beginning was very well written, as I could feel Rhea's pain while reading it. There are some verb tense errors throughout the chapters, but those can be fixed easily. Just make sure to stay in present tense when talking about things happening at that moment. I did think that the multiple changes in time periods was confusing because it kept jumping around and I got lost. Everything in the story moves too fast, and I believe you should slow things down. Give us some insight on their lives before jumping to 5 years later. Also, make sure to jump in chronological order, because we don't want to travel back and forward in time. I'm also kind of confused as to why she went to the hospital and what happened to her. Hopefully that will be clarified in the next chapter.
Overall, this story is nice, just needs some minor changes.
Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)
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- bluecrayonlady