I was sitting in my room, replaying everything that happened today when Kathy walked through our door. Her smile quickly vanished when she saw the look on my face. A part of me wanted to be mad at her, since she was the one that had to go and make that obvious accusation to Sarah in front of Ethan, which is what started this whole mess. On the other hand, she was just having my back, like a best friend should.
Confused with mix emotions, I turned away from her as she very slowly walked over to me. I felt the bed dip down beside me as she sat, and finally turned to face her.
“Was Ethan upset?” Kathy practically whispered.
A sigh quickly escaped my lips, as I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “What do you think?” I whispered back not being able to look into her eyes.
After a few moments of silence, I looked back at her and found her watching me, so I decided to break the silence.
“He got upset with me, saying he has never given me a reason not to trust him. And then he goes and throws Derek in my face, saying he never questions it because he trust me…”
I could barely keep my voice steady by the end, and I could tell Kathy noticed. Shaking her head, she defended herself, “I didn’t mean to piss him off, but did he even notice Sarah was flirting with him?”
“I don’t think he did, and she was definitely flirting. Must be girl instinct, because he was as blind as those three damn mice.”
Kathy laughed and placed her head on my shoulder, then muttered, “Men.”
Laying my head on hers, I mumbled, “Do you wanna know whats the kicker though?”
She just shook her head for me to continue.
Lifting my head, I turned to face her, “With everything Ethan said, he might have been right about the whole Derek thing.”
Her eyes creased, “What do you mean?”
“Derek called, and made it clear he’s starting to think of me as more than a friend. Does that make me a hypocrite? I mean, I allowed this to happen.”
Shaking her head, “No, this doesn’t make you a hypocrite, how could you know Derek would start feeling anything for you? It’s not like you encouraged it!”
“Maybe I did. Maybe I like talking to him more than just a friend too. Maybe I…Maybe I don’t know.”
“Do you have feelings for Derek, Emma?”
“I love Ethan.” I said point blank.
“That’s not what I asked. Do you or don’t you have feelings for Derek?” She asked truly concerned.
“I like talking to him. I can’t imagine not talking to him or hearing his voice. What does that mean?”
The room fell silent. What was I thinking? I practically was ready to accuse Ethan earlier when I first saw him seated with Sarah, and that thought has never crossed my mind before, even when he was with another female. I have always trusted him 110%. Is it Sarah that made me feel uncomfortable? Or is it my relationship with Derek that is making me realize that things aren’t always black and white.
I looked over at Kathy, who also seemed to be thinking about this, and asked again, “What does that mean?”
Looking up at me, she gave me an awkward forced smile, “I think it means you do have feelings for him.”
My heart sunk, and my head dropped into my hands. I am a hypocrite! I have to fix this.
“I have to call Ethan and fix this,” I quickly said.
“They have a game tonight,” Kathy said glancing down at her watch. “It’s about to start. Want to go and catch him right after?”
Without thinking twice, I was grabbing my jacket and heading for the door with Kathy right behind me.
By the time we walked into the gym, the game had already started. We caught sight of Kelly and Sarah at our usual spot, and for the first time I didn’t know if joining them was a good idea or not. Giving Kathy a sideways glance, she simply shrugged her shoulders telling me it was my call. And just like that, I found myself making my way towards them.
If I was going to fix things, I might as well start with Sarah, not that she deserved it. We took our usual seats next to them, and Kelly looked over, totally oblivious, giving us a welcoming smile. Sarah then looked up as well, gave us a forced, obviously fake smile, and then looked back to the game.
The silence was broken by Kelly, “Didn’t think you guys were going to make it!”
“Yea, we got caught up.” Kathy had to shout over the crowd to Kelly, making sure to avoid eye contact with Sarah.
I scooted over closer to Sarah, causing her to look at me questionably. Taking one quick glance back at Kelly and Kathy, I noticed they were watching the game, so I took advantage of this time to talk to Sarah.
“I want to apologize for earlier, for what Kathy had said…”
“Emma, stop. Everyone knows Ethan’s yours, so you don’t have to worry. Kathy made that perfectly clear… Plus, I’m with Liam.” She mumbled the last part before looking back at the game.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and focus in on the game too as the whistle blew. I found Ethan talking to the coach, and couldn’t help but stare at him hoping to make eye contact. However, I had no such luck as he turned and jogged back to the middle of the floor.
The game continued, and so did the silence between us girls. However, I had a hard time concentrating on the game, replaying what Sarah had just said. Sarah and Liam were still together? I thought that was over. I mean, it wasn’t just me, Kathy saw it too. Enough of this good girl crap, She WAS flirting with Ethan.
Before I could help myself, I found myself mumbling back, “Make sure it stays that way.”
Sarah didn’t respond, in fact the only way of knowing she had heard me was the very subtle way she straightened her back. Her eyes creased never leaving the guys on the floor, and her lips were in a hard straight line.
I turned my attention back to the floor, and there was no sound made from either of us throughout the rest of the game. Occasionally I would hear Kelly and Kathy talking about the game, and their men issues involving Brent and Darryl. Kathy would leave out some details, which I understood. Those details were private, and she had only trusted me with them. Kelly on the other hand, had no problem putting all her business out there.
In the past hour, I learned way more than I ever wanted to know about Darryl. From his off again, on again relationship with Kelly, to the cold shoulder he gave her days on end, to his sudden show of affection for her afterwards aka sex.
I couldn’t help over hear her talk with Kathy, “Seriously, then he just shows up at my door, and before I can even get a word in, like hello, he’s ripping off my clothes, and he’s throwing me on floor…”
I tried to block her out and concentrate on the game. Kelly left nothing out, and had no concept of too much information. I always knew Darryl was a little weird and a flirt, but then again Kelly was no scholar herself.
During the end of the second half, Ethan had been fouled, and was getting ready to take his free throws. He hesitated for a second, and looked up at the stands at our spot. And finally there it was. His eyes met mine for the first time that night, and unlike every other time, he didn’t smile, but just looked right at me. The side of his lips tugged, as if he wanted to smile, but was fighting it. The look in his eyes made it clear he was surprised I was even there. And just like that the moment was over, as he continued with his free throws.
Making the first shot, I found myself clapping and nervous. I will not over analyze this. I will not over analyze this. I kept telling myself. He didn’t smile at me. That was understandable, we had a fight. It didn’t mean the end of the world. He missed the second shot, and continued on with the game.
Kathy, Sarah, and I hung back in the gym waiting for the guys to come out of the locker room after the game. The three of us were silent, glancing around, trying to avoid the other. Liam and Brent were the first to come out. Liam making his way over to Sarah, flung his arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her head. Sarah smiled up at him, and whispered, “Let’s go.”
As the two walked off, Kathy gave me a look, clearly not convinced that all was great in paradise with Liam and Sarah, which I quickly returned. Brent noticed the exchange, and slowly walked over to us with a smirk on his face, “Hey.”
I smiled and mumbled a “Hey” back, looking around for Ethan. He still wasn’t out yet.
Kathy smiled at Brent, “Hey, good game! I was thinking… Do you want to grab a quick snack or something?”
Brent returned her smile, but it slowly vanished, “I would but I have tons of work to do. I was actually hoping to come by though, to work on my project with Emma…is that okay?”
He was now looking at me, and I pretended not to see Kathy’s disappointed expression, “Sure, that’s fine.”
I looked back at Kathy, “You are more than welcome to stick around, it’s not like we need silence or anything,” trying to somehow incorporate her. I knew just being in the room would make her feel better.
“Ok, yea, I do have some work to do too, so that’s fine,” giving me a ‘thank-you’ smile, which Brent was totally unaware of.
I glanced around looking for Ethan again, but nothing. I really needed to talk to him about earlier. Brent spoke up as if he read my thoughts, “He was talking to the coach and John, and might be a while.”
Brent saw the anxious look on my face, and continued, “Look, he mentioned what happened earlier. He’s a guy, just give him some time to cool off.”
I simply nodded, looking back at the locker room doors one more time. And with that the three of us headed back to the dorms.
About an hour later, Kathy was sitting on her bed going through some notes. I didn’t know if she was actually ‘working’, or just pretending so she can stick around.
I was sitting on my bed, legs crossed, with Brent’s manuscript. This had to be like his 3rd revision, and it was getting better and better. In all honesty, I am glad we got a chance to work together. He is definitely smarter then he lets on, and there is another side to him that is serious about his work. Without us being paired up, I would never have known that.
Brent was sitting at my desk working on our first multimedia piece on my laptop. The multimedia piece was actually fun and a bit of a challenge for us, seeing as neither of us was a design student, let alone a multimedia design student.
However this is where Kathy would come in. She was a fashion design student, and worked a lot with different design software, and was experienced in creating simple videos for her ‘runway’ presentations. This would allow her to cut in if we were stuck and help out.
I would catch them smiling at each other every time she figured something out for us. She would then look over at me, again thanking me for suggesting she stay.
Since it’s our first mock version, it’s really basic. We’ll need to find an actual multimedia design student willing to help us out in the future as we progress with this project. But for now, simple was fine.
We were in the process of looking up how to do a simple html link on our own, when suddenly the room phone rang, bringing us out of our individual thoughts. I look over at the phone and hesitate. What if it was Derek, I wasn’t ready to talk to him again just yet, but what if it was Ethan? The phone rang again, and this time Brent looked at me confused. I was the closet to the phone, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer it.
“I got it,” Kathy walks over, reaching over me to answer it.
“Are you alright?” Brent asked me, but before I could answer, Kathy was handing me the phone. “It’s Roni,” she whispered.
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and grabbed the phone, “Hey Roni, whats up?”
“Hey, sis! So you know my birthday is coming up next month, right?”
Chuckling, “Yea, how could I forget? You’ve been sending me a reminder countdown for the past month!”
As I said this, Brent handed me a pile of printouts on how to work with html links. So putting my sister on speaker phone, I continued with our conversation about her birthday, while glancing over the printouts.
“So, what are you thinking of doing for the big 18?” I asked her curious to see if she made up her mind yet.
“I’m thinking a party…A big party, maybe even a masquerade. What do you think?”
At this Kathy jumped in, “Oh, I want to come, sounds like fun!”
Roni laughed, “Of course, I was going to ask you if you could help me with ideas, my outfit, and mask.”
“Wow, does my input mean so little to you?” I asked jokingly pretending to sound hurt.
“Of course not, I’m going to need both your helps actually.”
“Good, because I intend on giving you my input whether you want it or not, little sis.”
“Yea, figured that much!” I could hear Roni chuckling on the other end.
Brent began pointing to something on my lap, trying to get me to focus on my work at hand. I just shook my head, and tried waving him away. He turned back to the computer, getting a little impatient.
“Wait, when’s your birthday?” Kathy asked.
“April 18th, but I’m thinking of doing the party on April 21st, that following Saturday. So that gives us about a month.”
“Oh wow, that doesn’t give us much time. We need to get on it, like now!” Kathy noted looking over her planner. She loved planning parties, and I know this is right up her alley.
“I already talked to the rents, and we have a few places we are checking into this week. Oh and we have a DJ and the cake covered too,” she added excitedly.
I continued going through my printouts that Brent had handed me. I listened to Roni and Kathy plan out details involving the décor, centerpieces, attire, masks, etc, occasionally throwing in my input too. Each time I did this Brent gave me a ‘get back to work; I don’t want to be here all night’ look.
After a few minutes of just Kathy and Roni nailing down what needs to be done next, Roni noticed my silence, “Emma, you there? You’re too quiet, what you doing?
“Oh, sorry! I’m working on a project with Brent.” I said not thinking twice about it.
“Kathy’s Brent?”
Brent kept his gaze on the screen, but I noticed he was smirking. At this angle, I knew Kathy couldn’t see his face, which worked in her favor as well, because she was blushing.
“Yup, the one and only,” I said trying not to laugh at both reactions.
“Isn’t he a douchebag?”
Embarrassed, my eyes shot up at Brent, who no longer had a smirk on his face, but was looking at me with a raised eyebrow. To my surprise, he was the first to respond, “Ah, captain obvious, you ARE on speaker phone!”
Laughing she responded, “Oh, sorry! I forgot.”
This only resulted in him shaking his head and looking back at the screen, with a hint of a smile on his face. He obviously knew I didn’t like him already, so this wasn’t new information. He probably thought the same of me before our arrangement.
Looking over at Brent again with a smile of my own, I informed Roni, “We have an arrangement.”
“Sure. Let me know how that works out,” she said sarcastically.
Kathy interrupted changing the subject, clearly uncomfortable talking about Brent while he was in the room, “Invites! Do you have your guest list yet? Once you guys decide on a venue, we need to get the invites out ASAP.”
“Oh, yea. That brings me to another issue, Emma. Can I invite Derek?”
I hesitated and Kathy looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. “Yea, it’s your party Roni, invite who you want.”
“Do you think he’ll come? I know he’s in Florida, but I figured this can be an excuse for him and the family to come up. Plus, if YOU ask him, he won’t say no.”
“I don’t know,” I said quickly trying to sound like it was no big deal, but the sideways glance Brent gave me, told me otherwise.
It was Kathy that saved me by cutting in, “Okay, well Roni, you finalize the list, and I’m going to look into some of the things we talked about. I’ll email you anything I find. Okay?”
“Yup, sounds great! Thanks you guys for helping me with this. I’m so excited!”
With that, we hung up, and without saying another word, we all got back to work. Brent on the laptop, me going through the printouts, and Kathy whipping out her laptop too; whether it was to do her own work, or to do Roni’s bidding, I wasn’t sure.
Another forty five minutes later, I was getting restless. I kept checking my cell phone when no one was looking to see if I had any new messages from Ethan, but there was nothing. Brent finally stood, gathering his stuff.
“It’s getting late, I’m going to head out,” he said looking at me, but I could tell the comment was meant for Kathy. Kathy had her earphones on, and was busy going at the laptop and didn’t notice he was leaving. As he walked by her, he grabbed her foot and squeezed it gently in passing to get her attention.
Kathy looked up, removing her earphones, and smiled at him as he was leaving. I jumped up from the bed to walk him out. I needed some fresh air, and wanted to call Ethan in private, so this seemed like the perfect excuse.
As I walked Brent out, he looked down at me, “I know you want to call him. Just do it already, would ya?”
“What do you know?” I asked coming to a stop right outside our building.
“I know you’ve been checking your phone like every five minutes, Emma. It’s written all over your face…you need him.”
Looking down at my phone, I continued to play today’s events over and over again in my head, “Is it that obvious?”
“I need you too,” said a familiar voice.
I looked up to see Brent smirking, and looking behind me. I followed his gaze, and found Ethan standing only a few feet away.
“Goodnight you guys,” Brent said as he walked away leaving me to face Ethan.
Ethan and I just stood there looking at each other, for what seemed like minutes, but in reality was a few seconds. Neither of us said a word, almost waiting for the other to start. The look in his eyes was pleading for me to say something.
“Ethan, I…” but before I could finish, he moved to stand right in front of me. My heart practically wanted to jump out of my chest with his proximity.
“I…” I was cut off again when his hand reached up for my face, his thumb caressing my cheek.
“I…” He took another step even closer, smirking.
Shaking my head, I looked down, trying to ignore my pounding heart, his proximity, and his touch.
“Emma, look at me,” putting his finger under my chin forcing me to look at him.
I looked up into his eyes, and before I could think, I muttered, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said before capturing my lips with his. This kiss wasn’t soft and gentle, but rather hungry. There was a need in the way he kissed me, grabbing my waist, and holding me against him.
As we parted to catch our breath, he took my hands in his, and looked back into my eyes, “I need to say this…”
Slightly shaking his head, “I don’t know where this idiotic thought of yours came from, but how you don’t know this already is beyond me.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could get a word out, he continued.
“Emma Swade, you are the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about before bed. I don’t know what I would do without you. I love YOU and will only ever love YOU. I don’t ever want you to doubt that, okay?”
Nodding, I wrapped my arms around him, holding on to him. We were quiet for a minute, just holding onto each other, when I had the sudden urge to get the last word in.
“But for the record, she was flirting with you, even if you didn’t notice,” I said still holding onto him, and giving him an innocent look.
“Emma…”
I cut him off quickly, “I know, I know,” and with that I saw him smile. This was a genuine smile that showed off his dimples. God, how I love that smile.
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