Chapter 11
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed.
B P.O.V.
I want to believe Phil and what he said to me at the diner that day but, it's been months and still haven't heard from Rosi. This "happy front" that I've had to keep up is getting really old. I miss her...the Rosi I knew. I pour hot water into my mug and put several spoonfuls of coco mix in my mug followed by a sprinkle of cinnamon and some marshmallows; the way I used to take it when I was a kid. I stir until the powder is completely dissolved and some of the heat has escaped.
The Rosi that was always there for me when I needed her or just to talk to; she is an irreplaceable person in my life and honestly life has lost its flavor without her. I know what I did and I know that it was wrong and morally she shouldn't want to talk to me but our friendship is not a statistic or a generality, its US. Everything we know about each other, everything we've been through she can't...she wouldn't just cut me out of her life like this...would she?
"And it is the first time in years that, Los Angeles has gotten snow," the news caster starts bring up the weather pattern charts. "It's not going to be a heavy snow, just a couple inches worth of a powdery dusting but it is still very cold, much lower than the usual temperature even at this time of year."
I sight deeply as I lean back. Am I giving her enough space and time? Or am I just letting this relationship that ai can't picture my life without just lip through my fingers?
I blow the steam off my hot chocolate as I take a seat on my couch, a chill running up my spine. "I was definitely not made for this weather," I mumble under my breath as I pull my hoodie on over my wife beater. Reaching for my hot chocolate I hear a noise. Listening closer, I turn the volume on the TV down. There's a knock at the door. I walk over, pulling it open.
Laylani stands on my front steps, freshly fallen snowflakes nestled in her brown and blonde curls. She shivers looking up at me, tears shimmering in the moonlight, streaking her bright red cheeks.
"He left me," she chokes out, her voice pained. "Romano, he broke up with me." More tears follow, time falling fast. Her teeth chatter, chin shaking as she wraps her arms around herself. Worry fills me. I resist the urge to pull her inside.
"Laylani, how long have you been out here?"
"A w-w-while," she manages to say, "Mabye I shouldn't have c-come..." she turns to leave.
"No, no Laylani, its ok," I say, "Come in," she looks at me, I open the door wider and she steps inside. Pulling her into my arms, I close my eyes. "Rosi, are you ok?" One look from her tells all, she shakes her head as more tears stream down her face. Her teeth chatter once more as she borrows into my chest. Then her weight is on me, her eyelids fluttering. Suddenly, she goes limp in my arms. "Laylani?" I breathe quickly, eyebrows furrowing. "Rosi?!"
------
Just as I'm about to take what seems like me millionth lap around the waiting room a nurse steps to me, clipboard in hand.
"Mr. Hernandez?"
"Bruno," I say, running my hand over my face. "How is she?"
"Ms. Rosario is going to be just fine. She has a slight fever but it's nothing to worry about; she and the baby are going to be just fine."
"Baby...?" I feel my eyes widen. She's...pregnant?! The nurse catches my expression.
"Yes," she says slowly. "She's about eight weeks along." I swallow hard.
"The baby is going to be ok right?" I ask, my mind still in shock.
"Yes, the baby is healthy. Ms. Rosario must have decided to keep the child."
"Keep the child?" What?
"She visited the he hospital twice before, asking for an abortion. She broke down twice but the second time, she asked for pre-natal vitamins; she's been taking them. I assumed she decided to keep the child. She said that she couldn't take something, a life that was given to her, that she didn't have the right to take that away." I take a few steps back. A life that was given to her? How could she not tell me?
"Would you like to see her?"
"Yes," I choke, still on edge.
"This way."
I follow the nurse to room 312. Rosi lays on the gurney, arms over her belly. It's impossible to read her facial expression but tears stain her pale cheeks. The nurse slips out and closes the door. Slowly, I take a seat, pulling it beside her bed. She wakes blinking a couple of times then more tears fall as she looks at me. "How do you feel?"
"How's the..." she places her hand over her belly running it across and back.
"The baby is alright. The nurse told me...everything." she inhales sharply more tears threatening to fall. "Rosi, I know I'm the last person you want to talk to but I-," she cuts me off.
"He found out. That's why he left me. He said that he knew that the baby wasn't his...that it is yours. He said that he couldn't believe I would do this to him...and I... " She says her voice soft, still shaking.
"It's my fault and I know that. I caused all of this to happen to you and I'm sorry bu-"
"You're right, this is all your fault. I shouldn't have gone out with you that night. "
"Rosi, you and I both know you don't mean that." I know your hurting, Rosi.
"What about Jessica? What are you going to tell her?" She looks at me eyes still glassy. I try to swallow a lump growing in my throat.
"I told her everything that happened that night, what happened between us and that I didn't want to put her through this situation. I had her break up with me."
"So...you guys are through?"
"Yeah, we're not together anymore." She sits quietly for a few moments, hand over the baby. I move closer to her, her attention flickering to me before she looks my in the eyes. "There's one thing that I don't understand, why didn't you tell me?" Her lips part but then they meet again, no words leaving them. "About the baby, the trips to the doctor, the abortion attempts?" She turns away from me, her body shaking as she cries. She covers her face. "Laylani, this baby, is mine too, you can't just make decisions like this on your own especially after what you've been through, you have to think before you do things." Her cries become louder as tears dot the bed sheets beside her. "Please talk to me, I just want to help you; let me." I put my hand over hers.
I want to tell tell her that I love her, that I have for longer than I realized but now is not the time.
She pulls away. "Stop it!" she half yells.
"No, Laylani you stop it." My voice grows hard. I she has no right to have an abortion without talking to me. This child is as much mine as it is hers. "Stop being so selfish. This is not all about you. You have no right to take a life especially, one that doesn't only belong to you." I whips her head around, eyes wide. Her chest heaves, crying harder, her body shakes with every breath. She can't do this alone. I won't let her.
"I love her!" Her eyes burn brightly, anger shoved in alongside the tears. I saw her on the ultra-sound, I felt her move inside me...I love her already. I can't kill her." She still refuses to look at me. "
"Ok, ok, Laylani, I'm sorry but you can't do this alone. Rosi look at me," I say as calmly as I can. I gently put my hand on her cheek turning it towards me. I run my thumb across her cheek just below her eyes her breathing calms slightly but remains erratic.
"I didn't go through with the abortion because I couldn't. God told me that he created this baby inside of me, that I can't get rid of the baby because he doesn't make mistakes because all of this happened for a reason."
Closing my eyes I whisper a quick prayer of thanks. Without God, who knows what Rosi would have done to herself and worse the baby if she completely broke down. "Rosi," Despite the heat behind my eyes, water collecting there I keep my eyes locked on hers.
"Yes," she replies softly.
"I don't want to fight with you, fighting isn't going to make any of this better. I know this is my fault and I know that there's no quick fix. We can get through this together, I just have to know that you want me here. Whenever you need me, I'll be here."
I tear rolls down her cheek, she nods. I wipe her eyes again and she pulls my arm towards her. I wrap my arms around her as she hides her face in my chest, tears soaking my shirt. "Don't scare me like that again," I whisper kissing the top of her head. She pulls me closer and one of my tears fall, getting lost in her hair.
______
"Laylani," I say knocking at her door.
"Who is it?" she replies, her voice sounds heavy, tired even.
"Bruno." moments later the door opens.
"Hi," she says dryly. Her curly hair is down just past her chest, she wears a royal blue tank top and yoga pants. You can just barely see her baby bump protruding; if I didn't know she was pregnant I wouldn't think that she was. I walk in and close her door behind me. I places the white paper bag of vitamins on her kitchen counter along with the magazines among some other things. She walks back over to her couch where she must have been sitting and picks up an issue of Essence magazine. She looks over one page and turns to scan another.
"I brought the vitamins and the other things you wanted."
"Thanks."
"Rosi I was thinking that we could talk," I say taking a seat on the arm of the couch beside her.
"No."
"Laylani, we need to be on good terms, we can't go on like this."
"Look," she says dropping the magazine in her lap. Her green eyes finally meet mine, they look hurt, angry, tired and just plain out of it. "Thank you for bringing what I asked for. I appreciate you checking up on me but I don't want to talk, I just want to be alone. Can you please just leave?"
"Rosi," I say trying to reason with her but I know she won't have it. She walks over to the door and opens it.
"Please, just go." I do as she says. Once I'm out she closes the door and I head out to my car. I take my phone just as I sit in my car. I dial a familiar number and wait until I hear a voice.
"Jamie," I say weakly as I feel my throat swelling as my vision grows blurry.
"Bruno? What's the matter?" she asks, her voice already attuned to the tone in my voice.
"I miss her." I swallow hard and blink back the water filling my eyes.
"I know, I do too." She says as I hear her voice grow shaky.
"What I'm going through...this is something I would have wanted to talk to her about, she would know just what to say."
"You're right she would...but I'm here to listen if you want to talk to me, I don't think mom would mind."
"Yeah, I guess she wouldn't. Part of me knows she would scold me for this but the other half knows she would tell me that I have to do what I think is right. You gotta help me out Jamie, I don't know what to do."
"Let me hear it, I mean all of it and don't leave any of it out."
"Alright, alright...here's what happened.
I break everything down to Jamie, giving her every possible detail. I tell her about Rosi showing up at the reunion, the time we spent together, the night we spent together and the day I found out that I was going to a father. She takes a few moments to ask questions for clarity before she scold me as mom would have.
"Convince her to fly home with you for Christmas, she may not want to go home but she can still be in town."
"What is that going to do? She barely even talks to me as it is."
"Do whatever you have to to convince her, just get her home. She has to tell her mother at some point and she needs to spend time with you in a loving setting it will soften her up. Plus, its almost the holidays she can't spend them alone."
"I can't let that happen."
"Exactly. You love her don't you?"
"I have for a long time and yes I want her back."
"Good. You screwed things up with her and you have to fix them to get her back. I wish you the best. I want to see both of you soon."
"I'll try J, I'll try."