"NO!"
She screamed not as though the world was already, to her, on fire and in ruins.
The phoenix collapsed beside the boy and shook his still being. No. No—he was so still. Her heart was burning but everything; everything was cold and dark. "Iolani?"
"Io?"
"Io?"
There was no blood but this, she had expected. Death did not come in merely single terms and Jing understood this better than anyone else. She put his limp arms over her shoulder in attempt to lift him up. She struggled, stumbling. Vaughn didn't feel sorry.
He didn't feel anything at all.
The arrival of a council representative was marked by the sound of beating wings and the phoenix responded with a desperate call. It responded, circling above and then landing before her.
"Professor. Professor Alfred—this student has broken the rules," She breathed hard, feeling her throat constrict like a pulse. Dry. "Please punish him. And this sparrow needs medical care. Can you call a medic here? Now."
It sounded close to an order which, on ordinary circumstances, was absolute. Nothing was above the phoenix except the dragon and this was acknowledged by all. How unfortunate, then; that it was night, and the sun—set.
"Jane. I'm afraid that was not what I came to do," Alfred shook his head sternly to eyes that were wide with despair that soon found a place in her heart, nestled there.
Then what did you come to do? She almost spat in his face but things were eating. Eating at her being. Jing felt consumed by the darkness around and the light that was there, before, had now diminished.
"I have come to take you away."
"Away?" She breathed, laughing shortly as though she could find no other expression to wear. "Away? What are you..." A glance at the vulture confirmed a world that was falling apart. She felt so alone, and she wondered if this feeling had been borne, so long, by the person on her back.
Iolani Tori was
"You have no right to—" A dull sound was the only sign of the impact against her skull. All was blur, and then all was dark for the girl.
Iolani Tori was
Alone.
________________________
They had made a promise—he and Luka. The promise was to care, and to help. To care even when it hurt. To help even if it meant
Destroying themselves.
Luka found this promise far too hard to keep. He no longer felt the creature in his chest; as though he had lost it along his way while taking the canary to the gate. What was the point of keeping a promise when it would mean, then, leaving his heart behind? What was he to fulfil, without it?
There was no point of fulfilling a promise if it meant losing someone he cared about.
Obscured and a little clouded, the eagle failed to see that this was, exactly, the purpose of their promise. Even so, he was far too selfish to take into account whatever this promise meant to Io for Io—meant everything to him.
He abandoned the girl meters before the gate and turned back.
_________________________
The boy was on the edge.
He hadn't noticed it before, but now he had. Instinct brought him to look down and as always, instincts made mistakes. Below was an abyss that belonged to a chasm, somewhere dark, down below; way below, he could not see what it was. He knew it was an abyss.
He stepped back; frightened by the drop and feeling the strength in his legs give out. It was not unusual. Turning behind, there was nowhere to go. He, a sole individual, stood in the middle of an edge with nothing before and nothing behind, and everything—everything below.
Was there only one place to go?
He knelt on the edge, refusing to look at the sight of darkness that seemed to be calling from the depths and how this, this was going to be his end. The boy lay down sideways and brought his knees up to his chest for there was nothing else to hold.
He closed his eyes.
Was this how it felt like to be abandoned? He asked himself; for the boy, till death, was one to never let a question go.
He reasoned that it probably was.
Nothingness;
And only down.
He would have to fall; but he considered yet another option. What would it be like to stay? He felt a warmth in his eyes and shrunk further into himself, wishing for blend, for once, with the darkness. After all, it was safe and warm. There was no one to see him; and no one to abandon him for he would do the abandoning.
The boy would never be hurt ever again. Falling was the better option. He would never have to think again. The heights he had always feared, they would disappear.
When he opened his eyes again, they were wet and obscured. He could no longer see the edge.
Ah
He had fallen.
So this was what the darkness felt like, he thought as it consumed him, making a nest out of his heart and rotting, taking the brave creature away to replace, instead, one that merely slept.
The cage was no longer needed.
It was comfortable in the dark. He might just live down here. He hadn't known that it was so soothing; so much easier than where he was—before—on the edge. Falling was good.
Falling was better.
He considered the other options he, the fool, had thought before and found them, all of a sudden, so absurd.
How silly he must have been to think of staying up there, hoping that one day
the dream would be found and the search for the good in the world
fulfilled.
Where was the good in the world?
He had travelled so far only to come to this dark and empty place; had he really thought it existed? The good.
All was dark.
And there was simply no way for him to confirm the presence of the good.
Only...
Only if he were the good.
If he were the good, then—then, then...there would be good in the world.
If he were the good in the world, there was no need for searching and no need for seeking:
It was right here.
What was everyone doing? Searching for the good in the world when all they had to do was BE—
BE IT.
Iolani Tori had never once answered his own question with such a vigour of thought, he began to wonder where this came from. He opened his eyes and realized that he hadn't actually been opening them before. Was that why it was so dark?
Where did his answer come from? Certainly, none of his being was functioning. He was shot; that, he registered. Death would have been the next logical stage. There was no possible option that accounted for his current state of consciousness. His being.
What Iolani Tori did not know also, was that deep within he had realized something else; regarding his fear of heights.
So this was it—
It wasn't heights he feared it was greater heights.
If there was nothing before and nothing behind and
Darkness below;
Would he not just go
Up?
So he had been afraid.
Not to go down, but to go up—what had he been thinking all this time of his life? Io picked himself off the darkness and saw something in the distance. His eyes were no longer closed.
Good evening, Iolani
Is it evening? Came his response that sounded really far away. It didn't come from his being.
There was soft laughter, and he wondered for a moment whether he was speaking to Lyra.
Yes dear. It is. I assume you dislike the night?
The boy considered the question and found himself unlikely to disagree; but also, unlikely to agree. He was fond of both day and night.
Not really. I get to see Luka at night.
And what about in the day?
He faltered for a moment. Smiling sadly.
I get to see Pipa.
You think only of others, the voice noted lightly, and if she were here Io would have thought her smiling. I wonder if you will ever think of me.
It prompted the question, then.
Who are you?
An eye.
Io laughed. An eye?
Yes. In the sky.
Intrigued.
You can see people?
I watch you now, yes.
Why can't I see you, then?
The voice hummed. It appears that this would be a difficult question to answer.
Perhaps the reason why you can't see me is because
I am, you.
Io was in the dark and if were to close his eyes, he would have thought that he was alone. The presence of the voice however, made him feel rather...less alone. Something was there with him, but he couldn't tell what.
My voice isn't that nice, was the silly response he came up with and they both laughed.
That is sweet of you.
Are you really me?
Yes,
And no
Puzzled. But nevertheless wishing for his curiosity to be sated, Io pried through the dark.
Do you have a name?
No, I'm afraid I do not but for convenience sake,
I am your Avian, Iolani
Yours;
You.
The boy voiced that he already had an Avian, and that was Lyra who he loved very much and wondered if for some reason, this voice was really her playing a trick on him. Why the darkness, then? Had she fallen with him?
No dear
I am another you
Your...other self
He found that strangely appealing but rather not voice that. Also, Io had always wanted a twin.
You are a strange one.
He acknowledged that he knew, and that it was humorous enough to add that she, too, was strange.
What are you? How does this work? He reached out in the dark, attempting to touch her.
I myself do not know what I am
It's been long since I was an Avian.
Sol's always first.
Sol? Io vaguely recalled that it was the name of the phoenix and all of a sudden, he wondered if they were friends.
Friends? Why, what a terrible term. What does it mean?
Io made a side remark that if she was, indeed, him, then it would be absurd for her not to know what friends were since...since friends were, to Io, almost everything. Mama would have chided him if he were to say they were his everything. There were other things that mattered.
Are you really my Avian now?
Your second, yes.
The boy vaguely recalled reading a book in the library (on Saturday afternoons, with Pipa), something related. His memory felt rather fuzzy however. In the dark.
So, he repeated what Lyra had said to him. Long ago. You chose me?
No dear. You chose me.
A light appeared before him and for the first time, Io saw her.
I chose...what?
What was that?
I chose...the light?
He asked, reverting to his usual intelligence that sounded so silly and so foolish. It seemed to him, too, that he was making a fool of himself. He reached out to touch the her.
No, Io—
You chose to be the light.
__________________________
This is the story
of how a boy learned to look in the dark and see
The light.
___________________________
Vaughn was tired and being alone with someone dead did not help his cause. The silencer in the heart of his palm lay hot with stolen things and it whispered, loudly, in his head. He lowered it, gunpoint facing the earth beneath his feet.
The night was obscured with a dark, thick cloud that hovered above; concealing the scattered lights and the moon that was full—silent in its wane. It did not come as a surprise to the vulture that he began to feel the solitude that weighed upon him all of a sudden. Taking his agency to a place that was nowhere. He felt, for all intents and purposes, subject to the external world around him.
There was nothing like being alone.
No pressure to speak; no pressure to listen, to understand, to connect. Humans were obsessed with connection. But was Vaughn not a human as well?
He laughed; for he, too, had desired companionship. So desperate and so naïve was he in his early days—so foolish! Vaughn was glad that those days of his were over.
So glad.
The vulture surveyed the empty being that he was sure would no longer wake. After all, this was different from the first time he had pulled the trigger on the sparrow for this time, Vaughn had pulled it at the exact moment. The right one.
His darkest point.
Where was Iolani Tori to go but down? He would fall, surely. Just like the vulture himself and what? Ah yes. And die.
Satisfied with the still being that lay upon the forest floor just like the creature in his heart, Vaughn turned to leave the scene, recalling then the gate number that he was informed moments before. It was time to go.
A brief stirring of the forest stopped him. It sounded to him almost like a calling, of the darkness or of the night, perhaps so, but he did not know. It didn't matter to Vaughn. What mattered was that he had heard it, and the creature within had so quietly responded.
Upon turning, the vulture realized that the path ahead was far too dark to be seen and there was little to make out of nothing; for there were no stars and there was no moon and there was no light.
There was nothing before.
He turned again.
And nothing behind.
As much as it seemed that Vaughn himself had been in the path of his weapon, the Thief, for at least once in his life, the curious reality—was that it never happened. It took him little thought to then come to the conclusion that, perhaps, the world itself was a thief. It was a pistol, and he was its constant target.
That the world; or the society he lived in,
was very much a criminal as it was a predator
And that it killed
And swallowed
And ate
The human within.
The possibility was not invalid and in fact, appeared to Vaughn as a sad and cruel joke that summed up his stupid life. He felt quite alone, in that moment; unsure whether his mother would send someone to come and get him for his vision was far from decent in the night. He wondered if she knew he was tired. Or that he had, to his very end, fulfilled his promise.
Vaughn always fulfilled his promises. But it was the bitter truth that the people he loved—often went back on theirs.
If no one should keep their promises;
What was the purpose of keeping his?
Harm was inevitable. Doing good was destroying oneself in a world that was already out to destroy so why should he not follow suit? Being the villain was easy. No—not easy, but easier, in the very least, as compared to being the foolish hero who stood for nothing.
There was simply no point of being an angel in a world filled with demons;
There was just
No
Point.
And it was during this precise point that Vaughn soon realized that no one was going to come for him. Nobody at all, but himself. Alone in the dark; a little lost. And admittedly, a little scared. It was his little secret, really.
Vaughn was afraid of the dark.
How ironic it would be then, that he was the darkness. He was the darkness in Io's life and perhaps many others—the many other Jokers he had hunted and harmed and stolen from. The black vulture who was, for all intents and purposes, the darkness in the dark in which he was so afraid.
His weapon began to call. The Thief it was, whispering once more of the things that it could do, the pain that it could relieve and Vaughn was, really, full of pain and grief. He, already consumed, thought that this little change would do nothing to the world so wide.
No one would notice.
No one would see.
No one—
Would care
He brought the gun to his head and closed his eyes
A force knocked him off his feet and the weapon was wrenched, so suddenly, out of his hand that was weak without will. "No! Vaughn, what were you thinking?"
The vulture's mind was screaming at the sight of the body that was no longer still and, in fact, filled with the most ridiculous will that made his pale in comparison. Naturally, it did. Everything paled in comparison. How was he alive?
"Vaughn, were you about to do what I—what I thought you were going to do?" Iolani Tori's eyes were wide and they were...they were a shade of silver. He didn't look like himself. "Vaughn, Vaughn you can't do that."
He, quiet, watched the boy he did not know. "And why is that so?" He managed in a whisper.
"Because you'd die!" Io whispered with a cry. "Isn't that obvious? Look at you now. If you were to do that, now, pull that thing on yourself, you wouldn't—" You won't be able to resist the dark.
For all intents and purposes, the last thing that Io wanted was the vulture to go through what he did. The moment of despair that was so, so tempting to yield to; he would not allow it. He would never, ever want anyone to go through the same thing ever again.
The vulture's mask slipped from his face.
"Wouldn't what?"
Vaughn shoved the boy off him and grabbed his collar.
"Tell me. What would I not do?" Io wrenched himself free, breathing hard with his pupils almost—almost glowing. But just how was it possible? There was no light in the sky.
"Vaughn," The name on his tongue rolled off sadly. "You wouldn't move on."
Nox came at him with a fury, her wings spread wide and claws poised to harm for his boy was no longer a bystander. He was the enemy.
An invisible force felt almost like a shield in power, stopping her from getting too close and the impact crippling her mid-flight. Vaughn felt the pain of his body being hurled at a wall and he lunged towards the boy, grabbing his shoulders and feeling himself fall apart as he shook them.
"WHAT ARE YOU? A GHOST?" He cried. "Why do you keep coming back? Do you intend to haunt me?"
"Am I that unbearable?" "Will you not leave me alone?"
Io saw the person before him breaking apart and it resembled the unravelling of yarn that would never be able to be put back the same; ever again.
"But Vaughn..." He breathed. "That's exactly it.
I can't. I can't leave you alone."
The latter's eyes were wide with tears that felt so cold upon his cheek and there was no word in the world that could describe the pain that twisted within upon those words—why? Why, just when everyone had abandoned him, why was he the one who remained?
After all those terrible things he had done to him.
This person, Iolani Tori, did not belong to this world.
"You are a monster," Bitterness reigned as always and Vaughn had little agency to stop it. "Do you think yourself the hero of this story?" He laughed breathlessly. Tired. "I suppose you do; and I suppose you think me the villain—a suiting one, perfect for the role is that it?"
He laughed so loud and so desperate. It took him all his strength to do so and it really, really was so dark.
"Well then, this must be the point in every story. Where the hero and the villain must face each other with their will and what? Ah yes, fight," Vaughn was apt at mocking the things of the world. He could not help but reveal his true nature. "Iolani Tori, the brave foolish sparrow, will you tell me what you are fighting for?"
Io saw pain in the vulture's eyes. He saw it so clearly, and he had no idea how. For all he knew, it was dark for the other.
With the lack of a response, Vaughn was eager to continue imposing the abyss that ruled within him.
"No? Then, I shall say that you will lose, Tori." He declared with a false. A false smile; tone; eyes—a false everything. "For I am fighting for myself, and there is no other way that can win."
It was time.
"I'm glad, Vaughn. That you have something to fight for," Io nodded, raising his gaze to meet the vulture's. "I cannot be like you—don't you think it's hard? I don't know. I find it so hard to fight for myself."
Confusion placed its hand over the other's cage and there was little ease in bridging the chasm between two minds.
"But I have a dream, I guess."
"A dream?" Vaughn laughed shortly, feeling that this was all too easy; too good; and too frightening. "A dream is all it is, Tori. A dream is a dream."
"I'm sure, Vaughn." Io glowed.
"I have a dream, you see—that one day, I can walk beside Luka in the day. Or sit with him at lunch. And talk to him anytime I want to."
"I have a dream that Pipa and I can walk through the school without having to take the long route just to avoid the eyes of some people;"
"That one day, we can all—all be..."
He paused all of a sudden.
"Just, be."
The last was a question, because even Io himself felt that he had no right to dictate who should exist within his world or the external world for the matter but the mere possibility—the prospect that everyone had the chance to connect with another on the basis of being human—was so, so imperfect that it was beautiful.
He felt compelled to say more upon taking in the vulture's eyes, so lost. There was always more to be said but words were never enough.
"Vaughn...I, no—we, had a dream."
He had found his answer without realizing that he had and this...this was it.
The dream was to become real;
His dream. Pipa's dream. The butterfly, the raven, the crow, the pigeon and perhaps even the eagle—
The human dream.
*
Luka was following something that he did not know but could see. He couldn't remember, exactly, where they had been but could only hope that the phoenix had somehow made it out with his sparrow and...and safe. Just, safe. That was all. Incoherent, yes. But Safe sounded rather right.
He and Victoria pushed through the dark forest with legs that were about to break, sprinting dead as though it had been so for a long time, without pain and without feeling; driven, merely, by a will kept alive.
Halfway through however, just as the eagle thought himself lost, he saw a strange glow coming from an area not far ahead. At that point, Luka thought that for some strange reason, the moon had come to pay a visit to the island.
What he did not know was that the light—was just that.
The moon.
*
"Vaughn, I...I don't want to fight you," Io took a step towards him in which the latter responded by taking one back. "Not because I don't like violence, or that, sort of thing, I'm not—I'm not so good, you know. I don't even know what that is, really." He laughed quietly.
"Rather it's because I don't think there should be a thing such as victory. Or defeat. Or any type of extremes, for the matter."
"I think we shouldn't fight to win. We should fight—even if we know we are going to lose. We should fight; regardless of winning or losing, we should always, always," He found it. "Fight."
"You are crazy," Was what Vaughn managed, going weak as Io leaned forward on his tiptoes to pat his head. "Mad."
"I know."
He acknowledged with a smile, laughing as he did so. "Are you okay, Vaughn? Can you walk? Let's go."
"Go?" Vaughn felt as though his voice was not his own and standing in his own shoes was an event so absurd he felt like this was a dream. "Go where?"
"The finish of course! Let's go together. And let's hurry. People are waiting for us."
Vaughn wanted so much to tell him that no, no one was waiting for him but he didn't have the strength left to say it.
"Will you come with me?" Io asked the second time, tugging at his sleeve.
"What are you talking about?" It was so dark that one could hardly see a thing—there was no moving. The next step could very well be an edge to a slope so steep and one fall; one single fall could break many things. "There's nowhere to go, do you wish to kill yourself?"
Io blinked.
"What do you mean?" He could see everything. "We just...go! You know, like. Walk? To the gate?"
"This isn't the time for jokes, Tori," Vaughn looked at him as though he was looking at a spirit that should never exist. "It's dark. Go ahead, then. You fall and die."
Io laughed, finding this quite amusing as two lights dawning on him. One was that the vulture could not see her; his second Avian. And two—that he was actually rather fond of speaking to Vaughn.
"What are you talking about?" He pointed at her. The moon that took the form of an Avian. "It's so bright."
He had named her Luna.
Luna brushed the vulture aside and her wings—luminous with a chill—swept right through him. How sad it must be for humans that they cannot see everything. Lyra, nestled atop Luna's back, chirped in response.
In his mind, Io replied that it wasn't really sad at all. Simply because the unseen was much more precious, if not significant, than the things that could be seen.
"Vaughn!" He started in the direction that Luna was looking towards, not forgetting his bag that contained his bow, far by the root of a pine; wondering how it got there but also glad that nothing inside was broken. "Will you come with me?"
His reply came fairly slow. Afraid.
"No." The vulture shook his head sedately. His eyes were dull. "No, I will not come."
Io paused, turning around to feel the unconscious falling of his shoulders. He knew soon that something would come after—ah, there it was. The ache in his chest.
"Why not?" He came up to his friend with a bruised will. "You don't have to be afraid, I'll lead the way. It's okay. It's not that dark." Io thought for a while and, sharply, took the hint that was unconsciously dropped. "I can hold your hand if you want. That way, you don't have to be—"
"You scare me," Vaughn corrected in a whisper. There was no point lower than this. Though he did not fall, he felt as though he did, and it began to hurt a lot. He wasn't sure if he could handle the pain at all.
It hurt for Io to hear that but it was okay. He could take it. He tried to understand just why Vaughn feared him. "I'm sorry," He apologized, hanging his head a little. "Do you want me to get someone else instead? You can't stay out here. It's cold and we're just a mile or two away from the wall..."
He looked up with eyes that were a light.
"You've come so far Vaughn. You deserve to make it out."
________________________
A strange reverberation stirred from within his chest and Io felt as though it was nearly...exploding. His heart felt a little tight and it was hard but at the same time oddly easier to breathe. This was it. This was the breaking of his cage—the breaking out.
You realize that this isn't your first time, is it, Iolani? Luna informed with a smile that he could not really tell. After all, could the moon smile?
Just Io is fine, he laughed inside and let it come naturally. The swelling and the burst that seemed more than nostalgic; a dream. It was, indeed.
The swelling had converged in the form of a single entity that was neither him nor her. He felt the weight on his back and the peripherals of his vision glow.
And then before he knew it, there was the beat of his wings spread wide
Io was light
And he was in flight.
*
Io?
It was Luka's voice in his mind, in the general direction of somewhere he knew not how to pinpoint.
Luka! Are you alright? Luka I have so, so many things to tell you— He had begun in excitement but soon realized that he was...different. Io wondered if Luka would reject the person he was now, perhaps feeling that the friend he had made before was different than this new person who he somehow replaced. The boy was slightly afraid of showing this side of him to the eagle; and by doing so, lose him in the process.
I came to get you. Where are you? There is a light that is strange. Are you there?
The first thing that jumped at him was that he, Luka, could see her. He could his Avian.
Luka! Listen, I must tell you something—
*
"...Tori?" Vaughn called out quietly. He was, suddenly, alone. The sparrow was nowhere in sight and he could not see the tiny Avian that he so often missed if he glanced past too quickly.
The vulture was, once again, alone in the dark. His neck craned, back and front, but everything was nothing. It was black.
It couldn't be.
No, no. He looked around again.
All of a sudden, he missed the company of that silly human.
Alone
No, it couldn't be. Just when he said so many things; so awfully nice, he had left him alone?
Abandoned
He better come back. No, what made him think he would? They were all the same. All liars, all the same, just like himself. He was a liar.
Again.
"Vaughn." Startled by the call, he jumped and whipped around. He couldn't see a thing but recognized, from the voice, that it was the golden eagle.
"What," He controlled his voice. It appeared weak, and a little more than fragile. "Are you doing here?" There was a mask he had to put back on.
"Your mother sent me," Luka lied, just as Io had told him to. It was...somewhat necessary. But a little sad at the same time because this only proved that Io was, like every other human, a liar.
The lie comforted him.
For it was where Vaughn had always belonged—in his lies. In time however, he would change. But for now, it was too soon for any heart or mind to emerge from the darkness just from a brief exchange. At least, the end of it was beginning. The end of the vulture's darkness.
"I see." He followed the eagle, who in turn followed the moon phoenix.