hello! thank you for starting to read this book, or even if you're just reading a chapter to see if you like it. this is my first fanfiction, so it might be a little rusty. but so-forth, the prologue/introduction starts!
31.12.15
i saw him today./he was trudging out in the snow,/his dark blue boots carrying him swiftly,/rushing to get out of the storm./he seemed bothered by something,/his captivating eyes dark and his sinful lips turned into a frown./i wanted him to come in./i wanted him to sit by the fire with me./i wanted to cuddle up with him,/sipping from the mugs of hot chocolate in our hands as we count the seconds 'til the new year./i wanted to get my new years kiss,/like i see on the telly,/from him./but he./the darkness./ cannot come in here./i would touch him and then i wouldn't see him anymore./today,/i'll just have to watch him from my dreadful window./"happy new years, louis!"/he turns toward me,/almost as frozen as the snow that still continues to fall to the ground,/and suddenly his face cracks into a smile./"happy new years to you too, harry."/then he carried on./i watched him until he walked through his door and entered into warmth,/a pang of longing zigzagging through my core./later on that night as i counted down to ten,/i thought of him and only him./that was in the first moment of the first day of the new year did i do the unforgivable thing to myself:/i fell into a universe of love for louis william tomlinson.
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2/1/16
THAT BOY IS WICKED.
THAT BOY IS EVIL.
THAT BOY IS SELFISH.
THAT BOY IS FOOLISH...
HAHA. SO HE'S THE FOOLISH ONE?
LOOK AT YOURSELF!
YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF.
YOU CURSED YOURSELF INTO A WHIRLPOOL OF PAIN.
THAT BOY IS KIND.
THAT BOY IS CARING.
THAT BOY IS ADORABLE.
THAT BOY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ALL OF THE STARS COMBINED.
THAT BOY IS ALSO A MURDERER.
HE KILLED THE STONE WALL AROUND MY HEART.
HE WASN'T EVEN NICE ABOUT IT.
HE JUST BARGED IN UNINVITED.
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
THAT NIGHT IN THE SNOW, HELL,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I WANTED TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HIM.
I WANTED TO FEEL HIS GLOW, WANTED TO SEE HIS SMILE WHEN I MADE HIM LAUGH.
I UNWILLINGLY WALKED TO THE DOOR, WHEN I SAW HIM. HE WAS WRAPPED IN A YELLOW QUILT, DANCING TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC AS IT SPUN ON HIS RECORD PLAYER. HE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL. WHEN I HEARD HIM SAY MY NAME I FROZE. BUT HE DIDN'T SAY IT TO ME. HE SAID IT TO NO ONE. JUST AIR. BUT LIKE A TIDAL WAVE, IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN WHEN HE STARTED TO WALTZ WITH AN IMAGINARY PERSON. WHEN HE SAID MY NAME AGAIN, SOMETHING STIRRED IN MY STOMACH. I WAS SCARED. I HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE I DID SOMETHING I REGRET. MY MIND WAS RACING WITH WOLVES WHEN I HEARD MY NAME BEING CALLED AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME TO ME. I TURNED AND SAW THE SUN. HE HAD A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE, HIS CHEEKS RED FROM WARMTH. "happy new years, louis!" HE CALLED, THE SOFT YET RASPY MELODY OF HIS VOICE HITTING ME LIKE A THOUSAND WASPS. "happy new years to you too, harry." I RESPONDED, THEN I FLED AWAY TO THE SAFETY OF MY HOME. AND IT TERRIFIES ME TO KNOW THAT AS I WRITE THIS I REALIZE THAT I AM
INFATUATED WITH THE SUN.