Chapter 1 has been edited to perfection now! I didn't realise that I left out the sex scene, so its in now! ENJOY! Oh, and a reviews are appreciated and adored but you don't have to…
Of course I own them! I'm their mother (not)
There's not much else to say about what happened straight after that. Kihiri heard the distant sound of his band heading back to the tour bus so we had to split up and quickly get dressed. We exchanged phone numbers and then parted.
I didn't tell anyone about what happened that night until a year later, 2002, where I ended up telling Sakito (under the influence of alcohol, mind you) about how I had 'been in love' with 'this guy'. It was at the moment of telling him everything that happened that I suddenly came to a horrible conclusion- hadn't Kihiri just used me? He always made the first move, gave the orders…
He was the one who suggested we meet up.
He was the one who started doing the 'hitting'
He was the one who… Did he seduce me? I wasn't sure if I knew what seducing was.
But I was certain that I was used. It was probably a bet with his band! 'See if you can sleep with the scary guy with all the piercings, Kihiri!' 'Yeah! Tell us if he can actually kiss with all that metal!'. I bet that's it. He just wanted to get with a higher-rate musician, probably to up his status or something. He probably took something of mine for proof too… I remember moaning to Sakito all about it, almost crying, before passing on the tour bus back seat. I can't count how many times I've passed out in the back seat… Before vomiting out the window half the time.
I waited a few days after our bands' departure from each other before I texted Kihiri. I waited a day and received no reply. I forced myself to wait on edge for an uncomfortable 25 hours, before I gave in and texted a simple '?'.
I still didn't receive a reply. I never received a reply. I forced the whole thing to the back of my head. I mean, c'mon! It wasn't special or anything was it? It wasn't like we were together for years and blah blah blah… I had known him just 40 hours- and we were exactly 'together', we just had sex. It wasn't like losing my virginity was supposed to be something special. That's just for girls. Right?
Well that's what I kept telling myself.
Over two years passed until I saw Kihiri again, though I really hadn't expected to.
Straight on the dot of 3 O'clock on a groggy afternoon in 2004, I was ripped from my beloved sleep by my alarm. As I lifted my head from its place of being face first into the black pillow, my hand drifted to my forehead to push my hair from my eyes. Only then, when I felt not even a tiny strand near my eyes, did I remember that I had cut it, my fringe length now only about 2 inched. I groaned as the dreaded beeping sound of my alarm caused my brain to throb painfully. I whisked my hand out from under my duvet to slam my bruised fist onto the silent button. I sat up on my elbows running my fingers through my hair as I yawned with fatigue. Why was I still asleep at 3 o clock in the afternoon? Tour had been long and rough, though forever always fun, but sleep had been rare and precious. Now home, back in my parent's house, I was free to sleep. I decided I was still tired, and snuggled back down in the bed, changing my position onto my side, licking my dry lips before allowing myself to begin to drift back off happily.
"Mitsu-chan…"
Apparently I was wrong as I heard a familiar voice call to me from downstairs
"Mitsu, time to get up!"
Please mum let me sleep…. Just five more minutes… I'm so tired I can't speak, please just let me-
"C'mon MiMi-chan! The afternoon isn't a time for beddy-byes"
Oh seriously? And she wonders why I can't live on my own? She's the bloody reason I allowed my kitchen to get in such a wreck that creatures made comfy homes in its corners, my sink becoming the local park it seems. It's her fault I keep coming back to live with her and dad! She treats me like a child. I'm almost 22, c'mon mama, give me some credit
"Mimi, I know you can hear me" She called, quickly beginning to lose her temper "Mitsu…" I stuffed my head under the covers as I began to hear her stomping feet coming up the stairs "You better not ignore me!" she was on the landing now, her footsteps getting closer and closer. "For fucks sake-"
My mother burst into my bedroom, heading straight to my bed and ripping the entire duvet off me.
"Mitsuo!"
"Jeez mum" I scowled at her "Don't do that! I could have been naked or something!"
Mum raised an unimpressed eyebrow "We both know that's highly unlikely" she smiled gently and bent to ruffle my hair "Come on little rock star. Ya'can't sleep all day"
I tittered and rubbed my eyes "You don't need to treat me like a kid anymore, you do realise that right?"
Mum shrugged "You're my baby. You always will be. No matter what age you are, not matter how many more needles you pierce your poor skin with, no matter how much hair you lose from over dying it, or even when you're on your 4th transplanted liver, no matter how many kids you have from drunken one night stands-"
"Jesus, Mum-!"
"You will always be my little baby Mitsi" she gave a cutesy, childish smile, before leaving my bed room, not quite shutting the door behind her giving the clue that she would return if I didn't get up.
I sighed, feeling trapped and annoyed. Life wasn't good. It wasn't exactly how it was supposed to be. I was living with my parents after 3 failed attempts at moving out, I showed dedication to my band but I knew all too well that it was beginning to make me sick, I drank until I passed out every night, and I felt as alone as alone could be in the romance department. Those one night stands were nothing. They weren't satisfying and they didn't mend my still damaged heart. I sat up fully in bed, hugging my knees and staring out my bedroom window, curtains remaining open. For a moment, I just sat there, staring out at the grey-blue sky and the many houses in the distance. I was distracted by the sound of my mobile vibrating. I listened for a second for a clue to where I had left the bloody thing, before finding it had fallen down the side of the mattress. I drove my hand down there and pulled out the khaki coloured phone. I pressed a button and the screen lit up with an orange light, reading '17 new messages' in black text. I read the list to find two names repeated constantly; Sakito and Ruka.
'Fancy coming pub?'
'Stop being miserable and come out tonight, yeah?'
'?'
'If you r worried about your parents still you can sleep at mine xD'
'Come on Hitsu-chan, come drink!111!'
'Well?'
'Dude its rude to ignore :P'
'One word: BBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR'
'HEELLLLLLOOO?'
'Wine?'
'ANSWER ME!'
And so on. I quickly replied to them both with an apology and asked what time, before discarding the phone on my bed and heading to my cupboard to find something to wear. Walking around in spiderman pyjama bottoms wasn't actually that cool, even less so when they were for a 12 year old. I yawned again as I stripped from my pyjamas and pulled on a plain black shirt, doing it up as quickly as I could. I grabbed a pair of khaki pants and pulled them on, hopping of to where I had abandoned my phone. Texts (2)
From: Yuji
'Meet me at 8, yh?'
From: Kano Satoru
'I'll be at the usual pub about 9'
Well, that was my night sorted out. I sent a text of 'ok' to both of them, before heading downstairs to the kitchen. I passed the living room, peaking in as I did so. There was no sign of my mother, but my dad was resting on the sofa, eyes glued to the television. I dived into the kitchen and quickly attacked the cupboards. Food, food, food… So hungry. I pulled myself up onto the work top, my 5 foot 4 height making it a difficulty to see the top shelves in the cupboards. I don't mind being small now, but back then I hated the fact that I had my mother's genes in height. I would have been a lot happier I was 182cm like my dad. Sadly I was (and still am today) 164cm and not growing. I blessed the fact that had still beaten mum when it came to height. Little mummy was 154cm! She's shrunk in the past few years and now stands as a comical height of 149. Well I think it's funny…
Rice, rice, rice, so much rice. Pasta… Ketchup… More ketchup… Rice… A guitar pick I lost last year- yoink! Mine!… Rice…
I decided that rice and ketchup seemed like an interesting combination for breakfast. I cooked the rice in a little day dream, reviewing everything I had on my mental plate.
Finish writing my part for LivEvil…
Edit Raven Loud Speeeaker
Buy more spare strings
Take Goron to the vets tomorrow
Cut my fringe back to shocker-short.
Meeting with manager tomorrow
Meeting with the costume designer in two days
Finish the designs for the costume designer.
Make a list of the negatives I found with my old costume…
I finished cooking the rice, poured it in the bowl and spurted the tomato sauce over the top until the rice had disappeared under the red goo. Grabbing a spoon from the rack by the sink, I headed to the living room, the ketchup bottle tucked under one arm. I hummed to myself as enter the room and jumped onto the sofa feet first. My dad took very little interest in me for a minute, before finally turning his head to look at me, but shortly afterwards returning his gaze to the television.
"Afternoon midget" he sighed.
"Hi…" I droned out, shovelling ruby red rice into my mouth.
I stared at the television screen and away from my father.
"Hey guys this is RockCentralJapan!" said the overly happy male presenter "Kawaii!" cooed the school-uniform clad female presenter, smiling madly at the camera with a grin of a shark and jumping up and down excitedly "We have lots still coming up-"
"You're finally up then?" dad grumbled
"So it seems"
"Any particular reason you chose to get up at this stupid hour?"
"Tired"
"Isn't there work you could be doing?"
"No. Maybe. I don't know"
"-But that's all later so stay tuned! Now, enjoy a back-to-back PV session!" the girl screeched with joy "starting with…" the girl beat the air with his fists like an imaginary drum "The Gazette with Ruder!" The screen changed as the PV began, the singer close up the screen and licking his lips, before a shot of him climbing the stairs swinging a light by its chain in a circular motion. Not a bad looking guy, there… Looks like a cocky twat though but who isn't these days?
"Losing commitment?"
"Never"
"I knew you'd get bored, you always do"
"I've been in this band for 4 years and I've never stopped-"
"Yes, but you get bored so easily" Dad insisted "You can't even keep the same hair style for 4 months, let alone 4 years!" he shook his head "A few more years and you'll grow up out of this"
"Out of what?"
Dad moved his hand in a circular motion "This… Rebellious life style"
"How is it rebellious?"
"What do you mean 'how'? Piercings, metal bands, dark clothes, horror movies, torture movies-"
"So everything that makes me me?"
"Those strange eyebrows-"
"Now that's not totally my fault!" I blurted out, covering my mouth before rice painted the cream carpet "They just won't grow back"
"You shouldn't have plucked them like that then"
"I didn't pluck them, I waxed them!"
"Your point being?" my father leaned in closer and hissed "And don't think I don't know what you've been smoking"
"I am ruder!" Screamed the singer on the television "Baby! FUCK YOU!"
I leaned closer to him to say "I don't know what you're talking about"
"Don't lie." My father pulled a face of disgust "If your mother knew, god I don't know what she'd do. Maybe she does know. Maybe she has a feeling you're doing that but just ignores it because you're 'her baby'" he scoffed
"She has nothing to ignore" I insisted the lie in a hiss "I-"
"Mitsuo- Feet. Off. Sofa!" Mum ordered as the sauntered into the room, interrupting the conversation perfectly "God, do you two ever stop arguing?" she asked as I kicked my legs off.
"It wasn't an argument, it was merely a conversation about Mitsuo growing up a little bit" dad told her softly. I scowled at him, slouching on the sofa with the bowl perched on my chest.
"There's nothing wrong with me…"
"I can't be so sure" dad snorted.
I stuffed another mouthful of rice into my gob to keep busy before I yelled something I would regret. I finished my food and then made my escape back to my room, passing Goron on the way and scooping him, I whisked him off with me.
I lied on my bed, Goron lying across my torso, mouthing my hand playfully. I ignored the feeling of his sharp puppy teeth gnawing my skin and focused on the ceiling. Anything. Just anything. Why can't something interesting happen? This vicious circle is suffocating me. I need relief, anything…
At 7, I slowly got ready to go out, drawing black along my water line in liner, brushing and restyling my hair into a black fluffy mess with red tips. I grabbed my wallet, checking for cash and stuffed it in my coat pocket. I pulled on my black boots, tightening the buckles before finally heading out, yelling out a "see ya later" to my parents.
"Mitsi! MITSI!" My mother yelled, running towards me before I was even half way out the front the door. "What time will you be back?"
"I don't know" I shrugged. "1? 2? I might crash on a friend's sofa-"
"Must you?"
I shrugged, before giving a small smile and leaving, heading off to meet my drinking buddies at the pub. The night air was chilled, and hummed a ghostly tune. I couldn't wait for spring to replace this dreaded winter. No more needs for 7 blankets or wrapping up so much I look like a baby in one of those starfish costumes, unable to move. I picked up speed and rushed to my destination, determined to get out this horrid freezing air. As soon as I stepped in the warm, familiar building, the smell of cigarette smoke thick in the air, I spotted Niya, already at the bar, chatting away to the barman, Zuki. We'd got to know the old man well over the years. He's a nice man but I do now realise how irresponsible he was. He sold me, specifically, alcohol since I was 14, and has always given us 'a round on the house' since the band got together.
I hadn't been aware of which day it was that day, until it hit 10 o'clock. In a blink of the eye, the pub was raging with people and music was blearing; it was Friday. I always have had mixed feelings about Friday pub nights. There are so many people and I'm not sure if I enjoy the socializing more then I hate the claustrophobic bustle. I didn't let it bother me. It's not like they were all going to attack Niya, Ruki and myself for being in Nightmare, as all the people here were the regulars. I knew most of their names, and if I didn't know that then I was perfectly aware of their reputation.
Mizaki, Kazuki, Karin, Satsuki, Rin, Erica the swedish girl, Midori, girl aoi, boy aoi, the exprostatute, Haruko, Ren, Rei, Miki, extremely-bi-guy, stalker guy, Mei…
And so on. Generally, everyone knows everyone. It's a rarity to find someone in the bar who wasn't a regular. Which I why what happened shocked me so, I guess…
"Poor neko boy is too small to be in the club!" Ruka laughed, slapping me hard on the back and knocking me out of my day dream. Got to do this, got to do that. This must be done by then, this must be done by when?
"Oit, don't diss the height!" I shoved the taller musician playfully, earning a belly-full laugh from Niya
"Dude we weren't talking about your height!"
"It was your dick size little buddy!"
The two I fondly call my best friends started cackling uncontrollably.
"oh come on!" I whined, officially fed up with the long running line of jokes about 'that'. It all started with one joke made by Yomi, and now the whole band is at and is making no sign of dropping it!
"Don't worry, Hitsu" Niya wrapped his arm round my shoulders, still with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Yeah… I'll buy you a new one!" and Ruka set it off again, both man cackling madly.
"No… No! We should stretch it"
Ruka choked on his own laughter "Fuck yeah, we'll put his dick in a ballista and pull it until it's a decent length!"
"B-ballista?" Niya spluttered "I think that's for throwing stuff dude"
The laughter stopped….
"Well one of those pulling contraptions, anyway-"
"I've got a better idea! You pin him down and sit on him, and-
"You pull?!"
"Right!"
They weren't finished with the crude comedy, but I was and downed my drink and left them at the table, giggling like school girls. I sighed to myself, slowly making my way through the crowd absent- minded. I was a foot away from the bar when I was ripped from my thoughts when someone knocked into me, almost knocking me over if it wasn't for them quickly grabbing my wrist.
"Woah…" I let out drunkenly, my eyes wide and still staring at the floor, my vision suddenly dancing.
"Sorry dude, I-"
I looked up at the guy with foggy vision. He seemed to be standing very still, with his head tilted to one side.
"Do I know you?" he asked in a voice so familiar.
"I, er…" I gave my head a little shake and cleared my throat, my sight becoming clear "I don't know" I get a little laugh. This was when I realised the guy was still holding my wrist, quite tightly now. I leaned closer to the bar and grabbed the attention of the Zuki, the barman, and made a quick order.
"Hitsugi?" the guy spoke as if it was a question.
"Er, yeah…" I gave my hand a little shake but he held on tight.
"Hell, it is you!" he beamed with sparkling teeth. "Don't you remember me?"
I shook my head slowly, a look of worry was glued to myself and refused to fall. The boy, his hair red and black like mine but styled very different, looked down and saw his hand tight on my wrist and let go quickly.
"S-sorry" He stuttered out, embarrassed. I swear he would have been blushing if it was for all the foundation plastered on his face. He ruffled his hair and then finally looked at me again, a smirked stretching his lips.
The barman brought my drink and I passed in the cash from my pocket. I quickly began gulping down the beer as I felt the uncomfortable feeling of the guy getting closer to me.
"Does having so much metal on your face make you slouch forward when you walk?"
That's when it clicked. Those brown eyes, that voice, the sudden loss and then regain of confidence…
"Kihiri?" I put down my half-filled glass as the worry left my face and was replaced with pure shock.
"Well" he laughed, rubbing his neck. He said something, just a loud cheer filled the pub. He both gave a tiny nervous laugh before he repeated himself. "I don't actually go by that stage name anymore" he took a shot that sat on the counter quickly gulping it down, still look at me. He hit the table, gaining the attention of the barmaid who quickly refilled it and then placed it next to him again
"Oh. Then what?"
"R-" Kihiri was interrupted as a tall guy with a hair style like a bird attacked him with an embrace.
"Ruki…" the guy slurred, his face very close Kihiri's "Uru is being mean, he" the strange man paused in mid-sentence and began to laugh uncontrollably, slowly slipping down his friends body until he was on the floor clinging to Kihiri's legs. Kihiri's brown eyes looked up at me through a black and red fringe, one eyebrow raised.
"Ruki I take it" I spoke flatly, earning a nod before 'Ruki' downed the new shot.
"That's Reita" he said straight after swallowing, pointing at his mess of a friend "He was the bassist in Mad'ie Kusse"
A quick look at his friend's face did nothing to give me any memory of ever seeing him, but I nodded with a smile. Reita got up from Ruki's leg and stumbled off through the crowds.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask Kihiri- Ruki, but the crowded pub didn't seem like such a good idea. This time, I was the one doing the wrist grabbing as I downed the last of my beer before drunkenly pulling him through the crowd and into the men's bathroom. Considering it was a bathroom, it was pretty much abandoned. As Yomi had put the explanation- 'no need for a bathroom when there's a back alley, an empty glasses, or a ugly chick's handbag'. Beautiful, ay?
The door closed slowly behind us with loud, echoing creeks, while we stood there staring at each other while the sudden coldness of the bathroom hit us, and its bright lights burned our eyes. Ruki stared at me with a confused look.
"Thought it was better to talk" I said, clearing my throat.
Ruki nodded "kay"
There was an awkward paused.
"How you been?" he asked, folding his arms.
"Good. You?"
"Awesome"
The awkward silence returned. With a sigh, I forced a thought threw my mouth. I can't help but think that I probably wouldn't have said it if I didn't have so much alcohol in my system. I handled alcohol well, but it did have its early effects, of course.
"Not to sound like a girl or anything" I began, looking away from him as my face began to heat up. "But why did you ignore me?"
"Ignore you?"
"You never replied to my texts"
"I lost my phone"
I frowned, still unable to look at him "Course you did"
"No really!" Ruki sounded almost desperate. "I don't know where, I don't know how, but I couldn't find it! You can ask Reita, I was so stressed about losing it!"
I merely nodded, nothing to say and unsure if I believed him.
"I heard Nightmare is doing well"
"Yep. We're going places" I gave a nervous laugh, my eyes still stuck to the blue and green tiled floor. "I take it Mad'ie Kusse is-"
"Over? Long over. I'm in a new band"
"Oh. Name?"
"The Gazette"
A light turned on my head as I remember the song I'd seen played on a music channel earlier. "Ruder?"
"Yeah that's one of ours!" Ruki laughed.
"You're the drummer of Ruder?" I asked, trying to remember the drummer as best I could but gaining nothing.
"Nope. The singer"
That made more sense. I gave him a small smile "Congratulations to getting where you are"
Ruki laughed at me.
"So what you doing here?" I asked "Tour?"
"Yep We're not like you, we don't do big venues yet" Ruki tittered, before running his fingers through his hair, gazing at me. "I've missed you" he whispered with a faint smile.
I looked at him, properly this time. I searched those chocolate eyes for deceit or sarcasm but found nothing. I swallowed while a small, nervous smile stretched upon my lips as I whispered out weakly "I missed you too".
Ruki slowly stepped closer to me until we were just inches apart.
"You've changed" he declared, face deadpanned.
"You can talk!" I scoffed "You're not Kihiri anymore; literally"
Ruki turned his head to the side and gazed at the floor before looking back at me with a glint in his eyes. "I wouldn't say that…" He scratched the back of his neck as he asked out "How's the love life.
For a second, I was stunned by the question, freezing for a comment before clearing my throat for the millionth time and finally answered with a simple, jokey-
"It's non-existent"
I watched Kihiri's head turned to totally face mine, an evil grin on his face, before his mouth pounced on mine. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closed to him. I was stunned, unable to move. Push him away! Push him away! Get him off GET HIM OFF! I wrapped my arms round his shoulders and kissed back. I opened my mouth a little and as did he, his tongue slipping into my mouth shortly after and massaging my own. I melted into the kiss, the thing I'd longed for so long. A loud slam made me rip away. A man outside the bathroom door swore loudly 'why won't it fucking open?!' as he tried to pull open the push door. I thought on my toes, grabbing Ruki and pulling him into a cubical, locking the door behind us. I could feel Ruki's confused stare at my own eyes stared at the ceiling, listening hard. The entry door opened, as the clacking of heeled boots echoed in the bathroom. The room was almost silent as me and Ruki held our breaths, the only sounds being the muffled noise from outside and the man's odd little tut to himself. I guessed he was looking in a mirror. Minutes passed then the sound of moving returned.
We heard the person leave.
We both let out heavy breaths before looking at each other, grinning like idiots. Ruki flicked his hair out his eyes with a swish of his head, his eyes still linked with him. A light blush appeared across his cheeks.Damn it Ruki, if you don't do it then I will! I grabbed him and forced another kiss. Ruki gasped but didn't retreat away. He grabbed my hair and pushed our mouths closer together, our teeth biting and our tongues tying themselves together like ribbon. Ruki moaned into the kiss, his body relaxing slightly. I smirked and pushed him against the wall behind him. Disconnecting out lips and sending my teen down into his shoulder.
"F-fuck!" he spat, pushing his shoulder into my mouth. Ouch, actually….
Before I knew it, I was undoing his belt and within a blink his lower body was free to all garments, his dignity out in the air and lost. Our lips remained locked as, one handed, I undid my own pants and underwear buttons, leaving my clothes on but pulling out my sex. I didn't need to take my clothes off did I? … Now. With little preparation done, I wrapped arm round his waist and used my other to lift his leg up above my own hip and I entered him, unskilfully and not exactly kindly. Ruki shook his head fiercely at the pain, but order for me to carry on. As gently as the drunken me could do, I allowed him to get used to the feeling before I began to pick up face. Ruki kissed me harder, wrapping his arms tighter round my neck. I released his hip took hold of his manhood, pumping as fast as I could, trying to keep it at a decent angle. I changed the angle I slammed into his body and fe
Kihiri gasp in what I believed to be agony. I froze in my movements.
"Shit-" I swore, pulling away "Are you okay?! Did I hurt you?! I-" Kihiri crashed his lips back into mine, ordering against my lips-
"Shut up" he stopped the kiss and shook a strand a hair from his eyes.
"But if I hurt you-"
"You did…" Kihiri pants "You did it right"
"What?"
"Shut up and hit it again!" he spat before pulling me back down to smack out mouths together in a fierce kiss "Fuck me, don't stay still!"
I almost wanted to laugh at the thoughts, but my mind was quickly distracted as Ruki pulled at my hair and pulled me away from his mouth, throwing his head back.
"Hitsu, I…" he groaned, pressing his nails deep into my back until blood ran. "I love…"
Still moving, frankly unable to stop as the familiar feeling began to build in my body, I stared at Ruki whose eyes were tightly shut.
"I love your-" He's loves me?
A loud moan fell from his lips as his mixture covered my hand in his sticky mixture. As I came myself, hitting into him with all my might as I rode the orgasm that tightened every muscle in my body and squeezed my lungs, Ruki spoke again.
"I love…" he panted, pulling his fringe out of his eyes "I love your way of doing things" he let out a little, tired laughed.
My face feel slightly but he didn't seem to notice as he drunkenly smiled at me before diving in his head and planting kisses and small nips on my flesh. I tried to cheer myself out but found it difficult, even with his lips decoration my neck. The sound of the bathroom door opening brought us to oru attention.
"Ru, you in here?" called a voice I didn't recognise
"Yeah Uru, I'll be out in a second" Ruki called back.
The person replied with a stretched 'kay' before leaving. Without a word said, Ruki grabbed his underwear and pulled on while I hid my dignity back in my jeans. Doing up my hoodie as I noticed the stain on the front from our activities, I left the cubical with a smirk, earning a panicked 'hey!' from Ruki, who was still in his underwear. I went to the sink and rinsed the gunk off my hand, my head spinning and my body swaying, a muffled hum slipping through my lips. I chewed on my lip ring thoughtful as I shook my hands in the sink to get over the extra water. I heard the creak of the cubicle door swing open then the tap of Ruki's feet on the china flooring. I felt the warm feeling of his head leaning on my shoulder blade. He sighed.
"I missed doing that" he murmured.
I gave a weak, little laugh "We only did it once before-"
"Once was enough to become addicted." Ruki removed his head and heaved another sigh. "Hitsu?"
"Hmm?"
"I just want you to know something. The next thing I'm about to do isn't because of you. It's the alcohol" he explained in a matter-of-fact manner.
I looked at his reflection in the mirror. I blink at him "Okay" I finally said, unsure of how to answer.
"Thank you" Ruki gave a little bow before clearing his throat.
With a turn of his heel, he ran back into another cubicle and locked the door. I frowned, utterly confused, before Ruki's actions were made clear when the foul sound of him puking was heard. I cringed, leaning back on the sink bar, unsure of what to do.
"Hitsu!" Ruki called.
Oh god, please don't ask me to hold your hair back or something. Please don't, please don't-
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to hang-" his line was cut off by sound very horrid hacking and spluttering "hang about. I-I'll see you out at the bar"
"You sure?" I didn't want to stay with him. The sound of anyone throwing up had my stomach turning in seconds, but I felt rude just leaving. I was relieved when he denied me, leaving me free to leave. I left.
I found Niya and Ruka again. They hadn't moved from their original spots but were clearly a lot drunker. I sat back down in my seat and was greeted happily by the two, who both hugged me and rambled on about things that didn't make sense. I quickly grabbed the barmaids attention and ordered a double. Then again. Then again. I kept on ordering until I passed out on Niya's lap, caressing his thigh like it was Goron before I fully gone. I work up in his house too. Although he had been kind enough to take me home with him, he hadn't bothered to put me in a bed or even on the sofa. Instead, I woke up the next day stuck to the tiles of his kitchen floor by my own sweat. I peeled myself off and limped to his front door.
"Niya…!" I yelled out before opening it.
"QUIET!" he boomed from his bed room.
I fiddled with the door knob, rubbing my tongue round my mouth unsure of the left over flavour from last night's beer.
"Fuck you!" I called up to him, before opening the door and practically feel out of it, slamming it behind me.
In a wobbly fashion, I stumbled home, passing school kids who gave me quizzical looks at my messy still-drunken state. Once I had found my home, which seemed to have moved location to me for some reason, I fell on my knees in front of the door and stuffed my hands in my pocket for my keys. I cheered when I found them, clapping my hands and smiling like a proud child. I winced as the sound made my head throb. I began to try and shove the key in its hole, but proud myself prodding the golden seal around it, focusing hard. I was confused when the door disappeared and I found myself prodding my key on a set of legs. I looked up awkwardly to see my dad scowling over me.
"And where have you been?"
To which I replied without meaning or sense "Hehhhh…." In a high voice, sounding almost like a deflating balloon. I giggled at myself before trying to stand up, falling back on to my knees and laughing harder. The next time I looked up, my mother was standing at the door, a sad look on her face.
"Mummy!" I cried with glee, holding my arms up to her as if I was three again. "You so pretty…" I smiled at her, before frowning at my dad "So why do I have to look like a squashed version of him?"
"Get in!" dad ordered
I rocked side to side with a silly grin on my face as I sang "Yoru me ga samete aitakunatte!" (I want to see you awake at night).
"Mitsuo-"
"I wrote that, did you know that? I wrote that" I stood up, as my face fell. I hung my head as if I was in shame.
"Mitsuo, get in!"
"I wrote that about Kihiri…" I mumbled looking up, my eyes gluing to my mother, utterly ignoring my father. "Mama, why does it hurt?"
My mother gave me a sad look, reaching out to me and taking my hand. "Come on in, darling" she said softly. She pulled me in to a hug as I heard her whispered to my dad "Leave this to me, he'll be okay. I've got him"
My dad huffed, but his footsteps still echoed away.
"Mama…" I whispered on her shoulder.
She rubbed my back soothingly, kissing the top of my head. "it's okay baby" she shushed me in a wonderful , soft voice. "Come on" she gently prized me off her "let's get you to bed" she breathed, patting down her dressing gown before grabbing my hand and pulling me upstairs. She dragged me up the stairs, keeping an eye on me as she went and took me to my room. She helped me in my bed, still dressed accept for shoes and jacket, and tucked me in, stroking my now tear stained cheeks.
"What's the matter with you…" She spoke fondly, like she stating something and not asking.
"Mama, I saw him again" I mumbled, wiping the tears away.
She cocked her head to one side "Where?"
"Pub… His band is in town…" I lolled my head to the side and looked at the clock. 7:57 it read. I couldn't have slept on Niya's floor for very long… 2 hours maybe? No wonder I was still drunk.
"What happened sweet heart?" she asked with a very serious face.
I covered my own and curled up in my bed. I cried again.
"Oh, Mi-chan…" my mum pulled me into a hug "You really are still my little boy, aren't you?" she kissed the top of my head "So fragile" I clung to her like a baby monkey, desperate for the comfort only a mother could give to her child "You're not so little anyone" she laughed weakly.
"I am…" I argued "Compared to most"
"Compared to me you're big"
"Don't say that… I don't want to big. I want to be little. I want to be little all over again. Then I wouldn't be like this. I'd just watch telly, pull people's hair and draw cats all day long. None of this shit bothering me… Kihiri not bothering me."
I prized myself away from my mother and snuggled up back in bed, cuddling myself and staring at the clock.
At some point I feel asleep, my mum caressing my hair as she comforted me, promising she wouldn't tell dad. I made her promise every time I ever spoke about Kihiri-Ruki to her. I never told dad about Kihiri, but he heard me speaking about him on several occasions. Mum told me he had come to the conclusion that Kihiri had been 'some girl' who 'got away' and that I had always regretted it. I never corrected my dad as him thinking that seemed a lot safer to me than him knowing that Kihiri was 'some guy' who 'took my virginity and never contacted me again, and therefor leaving me heartbroken' and 'some guy' who has just managed to seduce me without even trying that hard. I wasn't expecting contact with him after this. We didn't exchange phone numbers, or at least I didn't remember doing so. I checked my phone to see if I had added a new contact but there was nothing. I tried to forget what had happened just like last time. The new problem was that I didn't just remember it because it was Ruki, but because it was the worst sex I've ever had. It felt good and all that, yes, but it was just…
It was in a pub bathroom, in a cubicle.
I had been fully clothed, which I don't like during sex. Naked-ness please!
The person I did it with threw up 5 minutes afterwards- not a good ending.
Oh yeah, and I thought he was going to say something, and it turned out he was saying another.
It was, technically, a drunk quicky with an 'old flame' in a men's pub bathroom, I hadn't even bothered to take my clothes up and it had ended with someone puking.
Not romantic in anyway. I'm not saying I think every time I have sex that it should be romantic. Sex is fun! I went through a phase just last year where I would get drunk after or before a show, find a girl who showed interest in me, take her out back or into an empty room, 'do her' until I was bored or worn out, then give her a very inappropriate and heartless goodbye of 'thanks' and leave her. I feel bad about doing that now. Only two of them were fans, the rest were girls who had no clue of me who were just too drunk or vulnerable. The last time I did that it was a fan. She was fine with it all but then she started crying in the middle of 'it'. I stopped and found myself cuddling and comforting her. I felt so bad. She was such a little thing with the biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen. I felt worse when I found out she was 16 and not 19 like I had thought. I was 20, only four years older, but I had already set my boundary as 18 years old as I believed that any girl under that age was likely to not be mentally mature enough for this kind of thing. Saying that, it wasn't exactly a very mature thing for me to do in the first place was it?
Thinking about it, maybe all that was just my way of trying to overcome or hide the feelings I had about what happened with Kihiri-Ruki.
Or maybe, right now, I'm still trying to make excuse for my actions.
I got on with my life as I tried to forget everything, distracting myself with silly and useless tasks. I cleaned the entire house, took Goron to the vets, helped my parents pack for their holiday and practised for 6 hours straight every day. I didn't speak to Ruki the entire two weeks. Then I got a phone call.
It was the day after my parents left for their holiday. Dad gave me a list of things I should and shouldn't do and mum simply gave me direction in the house to find objects I doubted that I'd actually need. With a hug from both and a goodbye, they were gone and I was alone. Forgetting and ignoring became a little bit more difficult once they left as I had used them as a distraction. I threw myself harder into my work, before finishing the day in a pathetic, lonely way; drinking a whole bottle of pure vodka in front of the tele until I passed out, Goron curled up on my lap.
The next morning I awoke to find my mum's cat Jui sleeping on half my face, completely proud and happy about it too it seemed. After 10 minutes of prizing the annoying animal off of me, I staggered into the bathroom washed my hands, a strange habit I had attained from when I was a teenager and the boiler exploded. That's how I got my scar. I went through a period of time where I was terrified of the wounds getting infected, to constantly wash and scrubbed my hands to rid dirt. The habit stayed, but it wasn't a bad thing was it, now really? It's just good hygiene. I examined my appearance in the mirror before a faraway buzzing sound caught my attention. Drying my hands on my shirt, I followed my hearing to find my phone buzzing madly from an unknown number. I accepted the call and courteously held the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I answer anxiously
"Hitsugi?"
"Ruki?"
"Oh, good! He gave me the right number…" Ruki breathed in relief
"Who?"
"Niya. Uruha caught up with him in the bar a few nights ago. They got quite friendly and exchanged numbers. I took Niya's number from Uru, phoned him, and he gave me yours." Ruki explained "To be honest, by his tone I was convinced he'd given me a fake number!" he laughed
"Nah" I sniggered "Niya likes to annoy but that's a little out of character for him"
"uh huh?"
The conversation fell silent. I heard Ruki swallow in the background.
"Listen…" he began "I just want to, you know… Apologise for the other night" he sound why and awkward again "That and I didn't want it to be like last time. Where we don't communicate for 2 years"
I gave a weak laugh, though nothing was funny.
We chatted for a while. Just casual talk about life and our bands and things. Little things. We spoke for half an hour before Ruki made an excuse of having to meet someone and the phone call ended. I felt satisfied with this, and spent the rest of the morning in utter bliss. It wasn't long after 1pm, as I lounged on the sofa watching YuYu Hakusho, I gently fell back to sleep in peace.
When I awoke, I heard a hard tapping.
Ratta-tat-tat
I frowned, still as a rock as I listened, trying to work out the sound's whereabouts. I doubted that it was Goron causing trouble. It didn't sound like an electrical appliance busting…
Ratta-tat-tat. I rolled my eyes as sleep cleared from my mind and the answer became obvious.
Someone was at the door.
I groggily forced myself off with a yawn, pushing myself to my feet. I raised my arms and stretched, hearing my spine click. I clicked my neck before staggering off to the front door, catching the sight of the clock. 18:09. Who would knock now? I doubt most of my mates would. If they want me, they text me. If I don't answer, well… To put it bluntly- 'Fuck you Hitsu!'
I yawned again as I pulled the door open. In front of me, stood the last person I had expected.
"Hey Hitsugi…" Ruki spoke almost solemnly
"Hey" was all I could squeak out. I cleared my throat before I asked "'sup?"
"Nothing…" he shook his head "Just came to see you" he swung his arms at his sides, looking away from me like a shy child "see if everything is cool between us" he flicked his hair from his eyes.
"Of course it is" I smiled "It was nothing"
It may have been me saying it, but the line felt like a sharp, cold stab into my heart.
Ruki nodded and I swallowed down the building saliva.
"Want to come in?"
"Alright" Ruki replied a little too quickly.
I gave a little giggle to show I wasn't fazed, if he noticed, then cleared the door way and allowed my guest to step inside. Ruki muttered thanks.
"It's nothing" I beamed shutting the door behind him "Sorry if I seem slow or out of it" I apologised, my hand clasped in front of my body "I'm only just got up"
"Did I wake you?" Ruki laughed, his infamous confidence quickly returning "Sorry about that"
"Not at all! If I had carried on sleeping I won't sleep tonight"
"You like your sleep?" Ruki quizzed as I led us through the small hall way and to the kitchen.
"Yes, but it's usually a blessed thing. I'm running on 4 hours sleep a night most of the time"
"Only 4? I have at least 7"
"You're lucky" I headed to the fridge "Drink? I've got coffee, coke…"
"Coffee is good"
"Perfect"
I quickly brewed the warm drinks before we sat down on the sofa. Conversing was uncomfortable. I did my best but subjects went as fast as they came. Ruki seemed distant from me. It made me wonder why he was here? Why was he here if he wasn't going to talk to me properly. An idea zapped into my head that might just make him talkative.
"Fancy some vodka?"
Looks like its going to be more then two chapters as planned xD
It's a shame this isn't/won't get much attention as this couple isn't exactly popular, since I'm actually quite proud of this fic so far
Enjoy! And please review! I love to know what people think.