The white paint on the walls and ceilings were slowly chipping at the edges and creases, it made me want to peel each piece individually off.
Two industrial sized fans swirled above me, circulating the air inside the large empty space.
"What are you doing?" Phoenix appeared above me while I lay on the gym floor flat on my back
"I'm wondering who I'd be able to contact to make a fake passport and new identity for me.. then I'm brainstorming new names.. I like Roxanne.." I rambled on dramatically as I stared at the ceiling
"Get up off the floor" He told me, always telling me what to do
I sighed "Why?"
"You're hair won't smell like caramel conditioner for much longer with all the boots and feet that have walked down there.." He stared towards me, his hands in his pants pockets
I contorted my face and leaned up "I don't know what's more concerning, you knowing my conditioner smell or the idea of men's feet germs against my skin.."
"We've been in pretty close contact now on a few occasions, your conditioner is strong"
I sat up and looked towards him "Why do you keep bringing that up? Anyone would think you've never kissed someone before.. which you and I both know is an actual joke.." I continued tauntingly "Get over it, move on, you and I both know you're good at that.."
"Ouch" He pained casually "for someone who doesn't like me at all, you sure do bring all these other women up a lot.. it's coming off a little green eyed.."
I scoffed as I picked myself up off the ground "are you actually insinuating that I'm Jealous?"
I readied myself for another one of our classic verbal fights
He nodded "yeah, maybe a little"
"What would I be jealous of exactly?" I narrowed my glare
Shrugging he gave any response he could "you tell me, is it because I give in to them easier than I do to you"
I didn't know how to take it, as an insult or a compliment
"Oh gee, wow, thanks, I'm so glad you have refrained yourself from me, thanks for doing so well with your self control there.. what a gentleman.." I scoffed, rolling my eyes "do I come across as your friend did the other night, throwing myself at you?"
"You seem to involve yourself with me and my life in the past few months more than anyone else has in years.." He sighed putting his hands on his hips
I couldn't help but suppress a laugh, knowing our argument had now turned into petty banter
"Oh so let me get this right? I involved myself when you turned up on my doorstep covered in blood asking for medical treatment?"
"You didn't have to help me you know?"
"I should have called the police and had you both arrested then and there.."
"So why didn't you?"
The conversation was heading in a new direction, a serious one
"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to help.."
"You're too kind, maybe be cautious of that next time.." He answered back for me
"It's sad that every time someone asks me for help now I questions whether or not I'll get into situations like this again.." I sighed
"Ultimately that's my fault, I didn't think about how it could impact you and I should have.."
I smiled, it was nice to hear him acknowledge it.
Silence began to settle in, silence was always dangerous for us
"It's getting late, I'm going off to bed" I told him
"Sure" He nodded "Jett will be here tomorrow to talk about what's going to happen next.."
"Okay" I nodded, turning and heading off upstairs towards the small loft where a bed sat, a small kitchen, bathroom, dining table, couch and television. The space was open plan, and I knew that Phoenix would soon join me where he would crash on the couch for the night. Sharing such a closed in space was awkward enough, so I wanted to ensure I was tucked into bed before he entered.
Dee followed close behind me, watching me carefully as she took in the boundaries of her new temporary home.
I retreated to the bathroom, changing into comfortable tights and a loose T-shirt. I stared at myself in the mirror, fogged up and dirty. I looked a mess, my hair was unkept and my eyes heavy. Why was I being so self-conscious?
I washed my face with cold water and brushed out my hair, tying it into a bun where I pulled up every loose strand I could. Going to bed where I knew Phoenix would be felt more anxieties than going out for the day with Brody did. I was nervous and for all of the reasons I shouldn't have been.
Phoenix had seen me in all sorts of states, bloodied, beaten, exhausted and distraught, why did it matter now as I went to bed?
When I opened the bathroom door, I wished I had fallen asleep in the bathtub. Phoenix had been either quick to get to bed on the couch, or I had been slow psyching myself up for bed time.
I considered turning back around and napping in the shower, but knew that it would only worsen the situation.
"I hope you don't mind.." Phoenix began as I tried to tip-toe towards the bed without being spotted
"Your dog was whinging so I let her up.." He continued, tilting his head in my direction, thankfully his eyes unfocused in the dim light. He lifted the blanket roughly thrown over his torso, I was suddenly more grateful he couldn't see me when I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt, my eyes realising he was showing me Dee curled up in a ball on his stomach, sound asleep, soaking in the warmth. Traitor.
"That's fine" I mumbled, crawling into bed, hoping the linen had been washed beforehand
Nestling in, I recognised the smell drifting around my body, around my face from the pillow beneath my head. It smelt like Phoenix. The sweet smell of his skin pressed against my face rushing into my lungs like a quick drug. Flashbacks entered my mind to the dream I'd had of him and I in our street, wound together in passion, I found myself mentally shaking my head to erase them.
Had he been staying in the warehouse before me? Had he been bringing girls to the bed? I shuddered and felt the nagging need to know.
"Have you slept in this bed before?" I carefully worded
"I've crashed here a few nights over the last few weeks.." he admitted
He hadn't yet answered my underlying question
"I've been using the space downstairs to train, I stay here when it's late and I don't want to wake the street back home with my bike or car, it's a good place for me to be alone and reset.."
Relief washed over me.
I rolled over and settled into the sheets, curling up to keep warm. The smell around me was unnerving, yet comforting. I could hear the television softly playing behind me, Phoenix flicking channels like his brother had.
It was nearing early morning, Friday, I needed to sleep. Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on anything but the thought of Phoenix being half undressed only a few meters from me with his smell wafting over my face and up my nose. It was distracting me, it was frustrating me but I pushed past the thoughts as hard as I could until my consciousness fell to rest.
-
Unfortunately my sleep was broken, every three hours I woke. I could hear the television Phoenix had left on, the sound of him lightly snoring, each time it helped me fall asleep again by the unusual reminder I wasn't alone and I was safe.
By morning the sun danced into the warehouse windows downstairs. I became hot, over time the sunlight slowly lifting and piercing onto my skin. I threw the blanket over my head and grumbled curse words at the betrayal of light
Overpowering warmth soaked into my right thigh and with small movement of breathing, I realised it was Dee who had returned to me. My right hand reached out on the sheet, searching for my phone under the pillows now above my head.
The dim screen told me it was 11am. I'd had about 6 hours interrupted sleep. I had thought it to be worse, that's the way I felt. I was exhausted. Exhausted seemed to be my new norm.
Finally after a few minutes of debate to stay in bed or to get up, I decided that the longer I lay in bed, the more unbalanced up my routine would get.
Slowly groaning and grumbling, I pulled upright to sit on the side of the bed, rubbing my eyes, yawning. It was then I remembered where I was, who I was with. My eyes drew towards the couch where I had last seen Phoenix.
He was gone.
I looked at Dee "That's why you joined me? Not because you missed me?" I asked her, insulted
Standing I began frantically fixing my askew hair. I pulled the sleep from the corners of my eyes and rummaged through my suitcase of belongings for something warmer to wear.
Ten minutes spent in the bathroom, I was finally satisfied. I brushed my teeth, dressed in black flair leggings and a long sleeve baby blue v-neck knit.
Leaving the bathroom I fetched Dees breakfast for her, leaning down as she ate, patting her soft floppy ears. As my senses readjusted to reality, I could hear a light thumping noise coming from downstairs.
"Stay here little one" I told Dee, walking cautiously towards the door to the stairs
The thumping became louder, more consistent, one after the other
Slowly pulling the door open, I caught view of Phoenix. He remained shirtless, his back slightly arched as he threw his raw fists into a punching bag.
Sweat glistened off of his tan skin, his hair wild. And here I was worried about my own appearance. I wished I could have carried it as well as he did with little to no effort.
I stepped out carefully, my eyes firm on his stance, his footwork. He was deep in concentration which only pulled me deeper into the world he lived in.
This was what he looked like when he fought in the ground. I remembered his fight, I remembered the punches he had launched, the punches he had taken. It made me cringe.
Taking each step downstairs meticulously, I kept my eyes on him, on his focus.
The determination I could see in his gaze made me understand why he did what he did. There was passion in each movement, confidence and articulation.
This is what he was good at, this was all he knew, why would it not be his first and foremost answer for his issues when it was all he knew? It was dangerous, untamed and unrestricted but it was a hobby none the less, something that brought with it talent and technique, a fiery passion.
I stood a few meters from Phoenix who was oblivious to my closeness, my stare. I watched him like a complete stalker.
I was fascinated at how easy he made the combination of punches look. He was unbelievably strong, I could only now imagine the pain someone would feel at the hands of his violence. How could anyone take more than one punch from him without falling to the ground in writhing pain?
Watching on he began an array of rhythmic punches on the powerless black bag, one after the other after the other. His breathing was rigid, irregular and raspy.
No longer than a minute passed and then he was done. He surrendered to the shortness of air in his lungs, leaning his forehead on the bag to keep its rough swaying steady. He allowed his inconsistent breathing to escape, taking in deep breaths of oxygen. I was fearful he was going to drop, fearful he had pushed himself beyond what his body could handle.
"Are you okay?" I spoke softly, concerned
His head spun in my direction. For once, I had been the one to frighten him.
"I'm fine" He answered back through rough breaths, wiping his forehead with the back of his hands. It caught my attention the moment he moved, my eyes on his knuckles, bruised, purple, swollen and bleeding
"Why aren't you wearing gloves?" I questioned as I stepped closer to him
"We aren't permitted gloves in the ground, my skin needs to be trained" He shrugged, unbothered
"They won't be trained Phoenix, they'll weaken, they'll scar, you'll damage nerves and muscle, you could develop really serious bone conditions too.." I informed him
He began to flex his knuckles and despite the brave face he was putting on, I could tell it was hurting
"The first few times I helped you at home, you had on some thick white bandages, are they permitted?"
He nodded "yeah, but I can't wrap them very well on my own" His head moved in the direction of a mess of bandages on a plastic chair to the side of us
"You could have asked me to do it.."
He raised his eyebrows "You were asleep.."
"I would have preferred you wake me than to see that" I pointed to his injuries. Inching towards him I bravely reached out for his hand, taking it in my own to assess the damage
I looked down carefully, his knuckles undoubtedly fractured or chipped "You're a masochist Phoenix"
He let out a scoff "Not quite to that extent"
"You need ice, get the swelling down.."
"I'll be fine" He shrugged, brushing me off while our hands remained touching
I rolled my eyes "Don't do that"
"Do what?"
"Brush me off like that, I'm trying to help.. I'll make you a deal.." I tried to negotiate
He quirked an eyebrow, curious
"Put ice on it, and when you need help, tell me, I'll wrap them up, if you insist on doing this then you can at least take care of yourself properly so I won't have to later on.."
"Not much of a deal, what do you get out of that?" He mused
I thought about it for a moment. I was tempted to tell him that not seeing him bleeding was enough for me, but it sounded cheesy even in my head.
"Will you show me how to throw a proper punch?" I asked curiously "clearly I'm not good at defending myself, so maybe knowing some basics would be beneficial?"
His lips turned upwards, approving "Only if you wear hand dressing too.. wouldn't want you to get nerve damage.."
"Such a smart ass" I sighed, throwing his own hand at him as I rolled my eyes
"Speak for yourself, little miss 'I don't believe in violence solving a problem'" He teased
"Violence doesn't solve problems.." I smiled back, my hand closing into a fist and pushing gently into his middle
Even the tiniest of action caused an electrical current to run up my arm, my face beginning to flush
"How about we settle it with a fight?" Phoenix called as he turned to retrieve ice from the nearby break room, stocked with a small kitchen and fridge
I sat on a plastic chair with bandages in hand, rolling them back together when a loud knock echoed through the warehouse main doors
"That'll be Jett" Phoenix pressed an ice-pack against his right knuckles, walking briskly towards the doors
My mood fell a little. I had been looking forward to the one on one time Phoenix and I would have with each other. Now that Jett was here, it would be back to reality, conversation that would lead to arguing about what move we were going to have to make next in an attempt to settle the hostile situation
"Hey" Phoenix greeted lowly as though he were disappointing like I was
"Everything okay?" Jett asked, stepping inside as he looked his brother up and down
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Phoenix replied, confused as I was about Jett's raised eyebrows
"Hey Eden" Jett noticed me off to the side, my hands toying with bandages
"Hi" I greeted with a small smile
"You okay?" He turned to me
I nodded "I am for now, ask me again in a few days.."
Jett was dressed in a uniform. A black tight t-shirt with a small white label on the left hand side. He had matching dress black pants and black shoes. He looked formal, somewhat bossy, the tight shirt was giving his muscles more of a highlight than I was used to. He was the kind of security guard you avoided getting into an altercation with.
"How did you find out about Jaston?" I began, curious
"I saw Reid at the club, overhead he and Dylan talking about it" Jett replied, walking towards a wall of lockers, pulling one open after entering a combination
Just the name Dylan itself made me shudder
"What was he arrested for?" Phoenix asked
"Break and entering and burglary" He answered, peeling his shirt off his back, instantly causing me to avert my eyes back to Phoenix who remained without a shirt - I picked the lesser of two evils.
They were both so attractive, staring was sometimes unintentional but it was way beyond weird when Jett stood in front of me without clothing on. I stared at Phoenix, knowing that getting caught looking at his bare chest would be more acceptable. I should have looked at my hands, I should have looked at my feet, I should have looked at anything but the brothers, because as I stared at Phoenix trying to ignore Jett, I had been caught out. Phoenix looked towards me, staring back at me as a smile crept across his lips. I snapped myself out of it, but it was too late.
Jett was continuing to talk, but neither Phoenix or I were listening. Our eyes locked and it was only when Jett turned back around and noticed we were both unresponsive to him that Phoenix tore his attention from me. Jett's sentence slowly slipped away from him, his gaze moving between Phoenix and I suspiciously.
Suddenly Phoenix dropped his head and let out a small suppressed laugh while his brother glared between us
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something here?" He appeared agitated
I couldn't answer, I looked down at my hands instead, forcing back my own smile. What was funny? Why was I smiling? Phoenix himself rarely smiled, only ever when he had won an argument, so I was caught off guard.
"No Jett, you aren't" Phoenix sighed, a small smile still in place while he began drying the sweat off his face with a towel, turning slightly to mumble something under his breath.
I hadn't heard it, but judging by the look on Jett's face, he had, and he wasn't impressed
"Are we forgetting the seriousness of the situation here?" Jett quickly turned on me, his eyes narrow as he folded his arms
I hadn't seen him this mad at me before, it was scary, but I knew that he was as harmless to me as his brother was
"I'm sorry Jett.." I began, genuinely apologetic "Sometimes I have to pretend everything is fine, the last few weeks have been a lot.." I told him honestly
He gave a long sigh and his intense glare vanished "how are you feeling, really?"
I shrugged "I miss home.. I miss normality.."
"This is only temporary, it won't last forever" He tried to assure me
I nodded "I know"
"We have to come up with a solution, and sooner rather than later.."
I bit my bottom lip, unsure if Phoenix had told Jett about what he was planning to do next week
"Can I fake my own death?" I asked leaning my head back
It was becoming a legitimate idea
"I don't think Grace would appreciate that" Jett told me
No, in fact, she would probably murder me herself if she found out that I had pretended to have been murdered
"I'm going to meet him next Wednesday" Phoenix finally gave in
"Phoenix we've been over this, that's a last resort"
"It's our only resort"
"What if we set him up?" An idea exited my mouth
Two sets of eyes narrowed on me
My brain continued to develop a seemingly stupid solution
"What if we tell him to meet us somewhere, then just call the cops on them" I shrugged
"He'll be charged with loitering and at most trespassing, that's if he gets caught.. it isn't enough.." Phoenix shook his head "Then he'll be back out and likely more pissed off than before.."
"Then we will just have to make sure he gets caught doing something that is 'enough'" I tried
"Like what? And how?" Jett asked
I was put on the spot. I had no idea.
"I need to fight him, it's the only way for this to stop. If we frame him, set him up, anything other than give him what he wants, he will find a way to get revenge, he isn't just one man, he has connections, even from prison he will ensure we are both taken care of in the appropriate manner"
Even though I knew it was the furthest from what I wanted him to do, it was beginning to be the only solution to our problem. The last thing I ever wanted was to see him get pummeled half to death in front of me, all to save me.
"There is no other resolution" Phoenix reinforced "We have no other option"
It was at this stage both Jett and I realised, for once he was right.
Neither of us had come up with any other competent resolution. This was the only way it was going to end, and it was like all other ideas, going to end in bloodshed.
"I've just gotta let him win, make it look real" Phoenix continued "it'll work"
"You think that if he beats you half to death it'll just be over with?" Jett argued with his brother like I had earlier
"If anything, it'll make him feel more powerful, more confident in hurting you, me.." I agreed
He shook his head, thinking for a moment "Jaston was the one who needed to feel the power to let it go.. Gonzales isn't like that, in fact he's the opposite.. if I make a deal with him, if I win he'll honour it.."
"What makes you think you'll beat him?" Jett shook his head "He's never been beaten.."
"Neither have I.." Phoenix bartered
"I've fought Gonzales before, he's beaten me before.." Jett told him, new information to me "I was just as good as you were, if not better, and he still kicked my ass"
"Then I'll have to train harder than you have, I'll have to step my game up, won't I? You'll have to go back to old habits, teach me what you know.." Phoenix looked at his brother, seeking his approval, seeking his help
Jett sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. I could tell he didn't want it to happen just as much as I didn't, but we both knew, we both knew this was it. This was what needed to be done. We just needed to be smart about it.
Jett hesitantly nodded "Okay"
And then just like that, it had been decided, my stomach turned on itself.