War cries pierced the still air. Blades glinted in the fading moonlight as they were raised. It only took an instant for the four of us to be locked in battle with our clones.
The other Harper snarled maliciously, glaring through white glazed eyes, and launched at me. I met her halfway. She swung at me with her knife. It sliced the air millimeters from the end of my nose as I ducked away. Her momentum carried her past me. I countered with a clean cut to her hip. She growled, but it only seemed to enrage her more. She spun towards me.
We quickly fell into a rhythm, slicing and dodging, occasionally landing blows on each other. I have to admit, she was a fair fighter. I could evade most of her attacks, but a few times the end of her knife would catch on my cheek or shoulder. Neither of us tired. I got the feeling she was holding back just as much as I was, waiting for the right moment to finish it. We were sparring, playing with each other. The scratches and nicks we were receiving were nothing compared to what either of us could have caused if we wanted to.
And then she saw her moment. She'd just landed a fairly solid blow on my forehead, and I had to pause for a moment to shake off the pain. Blood trickled into my right eye, staining the world red. I tried to wipe it away, but it only smeared across my skin. My clone saw her chance- she recognized a moment of weakness- and she took it. A sick smile played on her lips. I could see everything this monster wanted in the expression on her face right then. She was hungry for my fear. She wanted to see me squirm before she killed me. She wanted to feed on the panic in my eyes, the terror in my heart.
And I think I gave all that to her. I let her see everything she longed to see in me. I couldn't help it. I was so afraid. She drove her knife into my abdomen.
There was no pain as I fell to the ground. I think that was probably because of the adrenaline. I could only feel the cold metal of the blade inside my flesh, and the freezing shock of the ice beneath me. The other Harper stood over me, grinning demonically. I would never forget the sight of that sick smile, plastered to a replica of my face. The sound of my heartbeat filled my head. It didn't sound quite right. It was irregular. Shadows invaded the edges of my vision. I could see the sky, the snow, and the billows of my desperate breathing, but it was through a veil of red and black. My throat tightened. The air felt like shards of glass in my lungs.
Is this what it feels like to die? Is this what Alice felt? And Celeste and Zion and Lark? Is this how my parents felt just before they left this world? I hope not. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, no matter how much I hate them.
Suddenly a great silver something was raised, glinting in the rising light. It sliced through the corner of my vision and hit the other Harper right in the neck. I heard her screech faintly as she stumbled away. It was an ax blade. It clattered onto the ice near my feet. Ben's face came into view as well as he dropped onto his knees beside me. The vibrations surged through every part of my body, making my ears ring.
Ben bent over me frantically. Drops of icy water still dripped from his hair. His expression was distraught. His lips staring moving, as if he were forming words, but I couldn't hear any of them. His hand moved to my abdomen, out of my line of vision, but I knew what he was doing. He was trying to save me. The cold metal of the knife slid out of my flesh, and was replaced by the pressure of his bare hand. He looked back to me, putting a mask over the panic in his deep brown eyes. But I knew it was there. I opened my mouth to speak- I wanted to tell him that it was okay, I wasn't in any pain- but it seemed my vocal cords had stopped working. I didn't have the strength to push enough air through them to make any sounds.
Ben placed his free hand on the side of my cheek and brought his face closer to mine so I could hear him. "Look right here, Harp," he said. "Just keep looking at me."
I tried to, really I did, but his image kept jumping around and going all fuzzy. And it didn't help that there were three of him. I didn't know which Ben to look at. My brain felt like mush. I couldn't think straight. And I just felt so tired, like I could just close my eyes for a minute and rest and then maybe everything would be okay. My eyelids threatened to slide closed.
"No, no, no!" Ben said quickly. A tiny bit of the panic he was trying to hide seeped into his voice. "No, don't close your eyes. I know you want to close your eyes, Harper, but you have to keep'em open okay? You have to stay awake. Just for a little while longer, and then you'll be fine." He increased the pressure on my stab wound. I barely felt it. The sky behind him began to lighten, but I couldn't see the colors because there was so much blood in my eye. Ben saw me looking at the sky and seemed to understand. He wiped most of the blood away, and the rest I managed to blink out.
"Look at the sunrise," he went on, softer now. "If you can stay awake while the sun rises, we'll be okay... just a few more seconds." My eyes drooped again. He gave me a gentle shake, the desperation plain of his face. "Just hang on, Harp. Please, hang on."
The midnight blue of the sky faded away. Streaks of wispy clouds became visible, floating though an ocean of indigo. Cotton candy pink and soft yellow hues filled the air, presumably from the sun rising in the east (which I couldn't see because it was behind my head). I sure felt it though. The cold of the winter night seemed to burn off like fog as the sun shed warm rays over us. The ice that I was laying on lit up like gold. I blinked a few times, repeating in my head 'stay awake, stay awake, stay awake'.
Just when I thought I could hang on, just when I began to have hope that I wouldn't die, there was a blinding flash of green light. A sound like a canon hit my eardrums. Then it all went white.
Seconds ticked by. I waited. Then I started to panic. Did I just... die? I put a hand on my chest, feeling for my heartbeat. I almost sighed when I felt the familiar lub-dub.
The air- which was thick and white- started to clear. The mist that was blinding me rolled away. I blinked quickly, thinking maybe that would speed up the process. It didn't, but soon enough I was staring up at the slightly familiar face of a woman in a lab coat. She wore that same silly smile, and the same tight ponytail. She started pulling the electrodes off of my skin, but I sat up so abruptly that they all fell off. My heartrate picked up dramatically as I whipped my head around. Halogen lights hung all over the room, a big screen was perched on one wall. Empty, bloodstained dentist chairs were lined up like soldiers, reminding me once again of the people who once sat in them. I'm back, I thought. I didn't die. I completed the Task.
I looked to my left. Chris was climbing out of a chair at the end, eyes wide with shock. My heart soared. He made it out. I whipped my head to the right. Ben was just sitting up, looking almost delusional with fear. He ripped his electrodes off and locked eyes with me.
I don't remember standing or walking, but somehow I was suddenly on my feet, wrapped in Ben and Chris's arms. We all squeezed each other so hard, I don't think anyone could breathe. But no one cared either. "We made it," I whispered into whoever's shoulder I was pressed against. "We actually made it."
Chris answered, his voice barely louder than a breath. "Yeah. We actually did."
I couldn't let go. I was afraid to let go. Partly because it felt so good to be safe in someone's arms again, and partly because I thought I might faint if I tried to stand on my own. Neither of them seemed to want to let go either. So we didn't, not for a good long time. But then cruel hands grabbed us and tore us apart.
My first reaction was to struggle. Day after day of fighting for your life will give you a little PTSD. But a strong voice ordered, "Quit squirming," and I realized it was a Stormer. Another pair took Chris and Ben by the arms, jerking them away from me.
"Time to go," the Stormer growled in my ear. His hands gripped both of my wrists like a vice. He pushed me forward, and Ben, Chris, and I were all escorted out a back door. We emerged into a world of snow, sort of like the one I'd been living in recently. But this world was real. How long had we been under? When I last saw the real world, it was late autumn and the first snow hadn't fallen yet. Had I been gone for a month? It sure didn't feel that way, but who knows? Dreams can seem short and yet take up hours of sleep. I glanced back at the Prep Center one last time. The stark white building looked right at home against the snowy background.
The Stormers proceeded to lead us across a paved parking lot where two buses stood solemnly. My brows furrowed. Two buses? Why do they need two buses? I wondered. Just as the thought crossed my mind, my escort split me off from the group and began to lead me away from Ben and Chris.
"Wait," I said sharply. "Wait. You have to let me say goodbye." I pulled against him, trying to break free, but he held me fast. I pulled harder. Apprehension filled my veins. "You have to let me say goodbye!"
"I don't take orders from you, girl," he snarled. He shoved me forward, almost making me collide with the bus, but I used the momentum against him. I swung around with all the strength I had, ripping my wrist from his grip. He stumbled and fell against the bus. I pinned him there, cheek pressed into the cold gray metal.
"You think because you wear that uniform it makes you strong? You think it makes you better than the rest of us?" I growled the questions in his ear. "You think it gives you power? Well let me tell you something- I fought someone like you in there. A person who wore the uniform and thought they were stronger than me. She thought she had power. You know where she is now? Huh? She's dead."
A pair of giant hands came down on my shoulders, pulling me off of him-another Stormer. I let him take me away, but I continued screaming at the man by the bus. "She was a coward, just like the rest of you! And she's dead now! And the girl who killed her is dead! Do you have any idea how many people I watched die in there?!" Rage boiled inside me. "Do you know how much blood is on my hands?! You'll never be half as strong as the people who died in that competition! You're a coward!"
I had to stop yelling then because the younger Stormer towed by up the steps to bus and I lost sight of the original Stormer. He plopped me into a seat near the front. I pressed against the window, staring at the other bus as we started moving towards an open gate. I wanted to get one last look at Chris and Ben. I didn't know if I would ever see them again. The Caretaker would choose what Class each of us would be placed in, and the thought of us being separated was almost unbearable. But I didn't see them. My heart felt like it might fall apart.
I stayed slumped down in my seat for a while, not even bothering to look out the window. I know I should have been happy, but I felt the exact opposite. In fact, I don't think I'd ever felt more unhappy in my whole life. The other bus followed us for a ways, but then the road split. My bus took the right path, theirs took the left. I sat up and watched in confusion.
"Why aren't we going that way?" I directed the question towards the Stormer who had pulled me off of his companion. He was a young man, I believe. I could only see the shape of his jaw line and lips, but based on his height I'd say he was about my age. "Class 5 is right next to Class 4," I went on. "We should be following them."
The Stormer shook his head slowly. "You're going to Class 2," he told me. "That's what the Caretaker chose for you. All of your stuff has already been moved there."
A sharp breath escaped me. Class 2. That's more than I could have hoped for. Not only did that mean I'd crossed into the Upper Classes, but Michael and I would live one of the most pampered lives we could imagine.
"And my brother?" I went on, a hopeful smile lighting my face. "Did you take him there too? Is he waiting for me?"
The Stormer seemed to hesitate. I didn't like that. It gave me the feeling he was holding something back, some vital information that I needed to know. "Well?" I pressed. The smile melted away as quickly as it had come.
"You know the rules," he said, trying to sound stern. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Only full blood relatives are allowed."
My heart skipped a beat. All other sounds fell away. "What? What do you mean?" I asked. My voice shattered like glass. "Michael's my brother."
I saw the lump in his throat bob up and down as he swallowed. "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news Ms. Clemons, but you and Michael have different fathers."
And just like that my world fell apart. Emotions crashed over me from all sides, threatening to drown me. My brain stopped working. That was too much information to be processed all at once. My legs felt like Jell-O, but somehow I managed to stand. All thoughts flew from my mind, except one: I have to be with Michael.
I started down the bus aisle, towards the front doors. My head was spinning, but I just kept muttering "Get me off this bus". The Stormer was on his feet in a second, following me.
"Ms. Clemons? Ms. Clemons!" he called, grabbing my arm. "I'm going to have to ask you to remain in your seat."
I ripped away from him, running now. I passed the bus driver who stared at me with wide eyes. "What the hell?" I heard him exclaim. I descended the stairs to where the clear glass doors cut me off from the outside world. I searched for a button or a lever, anything that might open the door, but I didn't find anything so I just started pounding on the glass with my fists. The doors shook but stayed shut. I banged harder.
"Let me off this bus!" I demanded, completely losing my head. There was no room left for rational thinking. Emotion had taken over my brain, and those emotions were telling me to get to Michael, even if I had to walk all the way to Class 5. "Michael!" I screamed, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. "Michael!"
The Stormer grabbed me gently from behind. He told me to calm down, Michael was safe.
"Safe?" I spat back, struggling against him. "He's my brother! He needs me! He needs me!" I tugged forward with every ounce of strength I had left (which wasn't very much) and then sunk to the floor of the bus, sobbing uncontrollably. I hid my face in my hands and leaned back against the Stormer's legs. I could feel defeat swallowing me. I had tried so hard in the Task. I fought to survive for my brother. I won for him. And now I was on my way to Class 2 while he was still starving in Class 5. I failed him. "Michael." His name came out as a harsh whisper between sobs. I glance up briefly, staring out the glass doors. Snow, gray sky, and the occasional bare tree whipped past. Another wave of heartache hit me and I started weeping all over again.
The Stormer crouched down behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. Even though I didn't know him, and even though he was a Stormer, it was slightly comforting. I managed to stop the tears and stand up. My breathing turned into those annoying snifflely, hiccupy gasps that you get after you cry a lot as he led me back to my seat. I plopped down weakly, wiping my eyes and nose like a child. Instead of taking the seat opposite, he dropped himself right next to me. I sniffled, looked at him for a moment, then stared at the back of the seat in front of us. My throat felt raw and sore, my nose was all congested, and my lungs felt like a pair deflated balloons. I was wrong about what I said earlier. Now I was more unhappy than I'd ever been.
How did this even happen? Michael was my half-brother? My dad wasn't his dad? My mom had managed to have an affair and none of us knew about it? There were so many questions buzzing inside me. I didn't want to believe any of it was true. There had to be some mistake. But the Caretaker doesn't make mistakes, and he can keep secrets for as long as he wants. He'd obviously kept this from me on purpose. What else is he hiding?
"I'm sorry about your brother," the Stormer said quietly, tearing me from thought.
I didn't look at him. "Does Michael know?"
"He was told the news the same day we moved your stuff out."
I sniffled a few times. "Where is he now?" I asked. "Still in that god forsaken shack we call a house?"
"No," he answered, shaking his head. "Moved in with a middle aged couple a few house down. The Clancy's, I think it was."
I almost smiled, but couldn't quite pull it off. At least he would be loved and taken care of there. Mr. and Mrs. Clancy had a few children his age. He'll probably like living there better than living with me. The thought struck me like a knife to the heart. I think I physically winced.
The bus was silent for long time. I felt numb, inside and out. The only thing I could feel was a pain in my chest- it was my heart, and I think I could hear it breaking.
The sun started to set a few hours in. The clouds broke right above the horizon, allowing red and orange light to flare across the sky. Long, eerie shadows formed on the snow, casted by the bare trees that sprouted in the wasteland. Beneath one was the have-rotten carcass of a deer. A scrawny, rabid looking coyote tore into it hungrily, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was sneaking up on him. I squeezed my eyes shut when I saw it. Images of Celeste being torn apart by the hellhounds flashed behind my eyelids. I shook my head to clear them away. I wanted to forget all about the Task and every horrible thing that happened there.
Snowflakes started to fall outside my window, floating down from the fat gray clouds. The colors of sunset were like an explosion of fire in the distance. My eyes drooped sleepily. Emotion had drained my energy. I watched the snow fall, thinking it looked like ashes after a bomb hit. I reached up to feel the back of my neck. I was surprised to find a thin scar there from the first night in the Task. A bomb had landed near my shelter, destroying it and giving me the scar in the process. I yanked up the sleeve of my coat. And there was the cut from the spider. Tentativly, I lifted the hem of my coat over my left abdomen, revealing a line of scar tissue right where the clone Harper had stabbed me. I touched it gingerly. There was no pain. It was as if they were injures I'd suffered a long time ago, but by now they were fully healed. Great, I thought. The perfect stab wound to match the burn mark on my other hip.
"Is that from the Task?" the Stormer asked suddenly. I pulled my coat down. I'd almost forgotten he was there.
"Er, yeah," I answered awkwardly. "Yeah. I guess that's kind of a bonus- I get to keep the scars. Weren't you in the room when I got stabbed?"
He shook his head. "No, this is my first year working for the Caretaker," he told me. "I'm not important enough to get to watch."
I sighed, leaning my head back against seat. "I don't think you would've wanted to see any of it."
He didn't answer for a while. Then, "So it was pretty bad in there, huh?"
A chuckle fell from my lips. "Pretty bad doesn't even describe it. It was like living in a nightmare."
"I'm sorry."
I glanced at him, and his lips turned up in a way that told me he was smiling. I returned it. For a moment I wished he would take his hood off so I could see his face, but that was probably against the rules or something.
I leaned my head against the window, staring out at the fiery sun as it slipped below the horizon, and wondered if Michael was watching the same sunset I was. I wondered if he missed me, if he was even thinking of me. Most of all I wondered if he'd ever forgive me for leaving and never coming back for him. The shadows danced across the snow. I watched them play, then slowly fell into a worried, fitful sleep.