Protip: banging your head on the lunch table will not cure you of your hiccups. It will, however, invite guests to sit next to you.
After almost five minutes of knocking my forehead against the hard table, Asher and Finn sat down. Finn, for some reason, chose to sit next to me, so Asher had to sit on the other side next to Maisie, who was more than frustrated at my antics.
"Thank god you guys are here; maybe you can make her stop." Maisie groaned.
Calypso finally rejoined us, noticed our new guests, and then sat on the other side of Maisie.
"Why's she doing that?" Finn asked cautiously.
"She's frustrated she has the hiccups." Maisie sighed, subconsciously leaning toward Calypso.
Asher reached out and put his hand on the table where my head continuously made contact, probably to soften the blow, and I immediately sat up straight. When I met his gaze and saw his smirk, I wondered if that was his plan all along.
Calypso, now having the opportunity since the space in front of me wasn't occupied by my hair, pushed my tray in front of me. I sent her a look in thanks for getting me food, and then started nibbling my fries.
"So, what brings you guys here?" Cal asked, eyeing Asher and Finn warily for my benefit, but I knew she didn't really mind their presence.
"We were on our way to our table and saw Em here trying to concuss herself." Finn asked, patting my shoulder twice when he said my name. He didn't notice when I tensed under his touch, but Asher was glaring at his hand until he removed it.
My neck nearly snapped in my haste to look at their regular table. If they were on their way there, then surely their group was waiting for them. Or worse, wondering why they were sitting over here.
Sure enough, a few of them were glancing at us, and when I made eye contact accidentally, I jerked back around quickly.
Asher was watching me. I tried to usher him away with the universal hand signal to leave, but he just furrowed his eyebrows at me in question, so I turned to Maisie.
"Their entire table is watching at us! They have to leave!" I signed quickly.
"That's a bit of an exaggeration." She said after looking at the table herself.
I crossed my arms like a kid. I might as well have been pouting.
"What's wrong?" Asher asked, trying to be sneaky about stealing a fry from my tray. Next to him, Maisie was doing the same thing to Cal.
"Em's freaked out about you guys being here because a couple people from your table are looking over." Maisie said, sounding too calm.
Both of the guys glanced over at their table. "Oh. I think they'll be fine without us for a day."
Finn was either stupid or oblivious. I gaped at him, because seriously, how was he not getting this?
"Finn, I don't think that's what Ember's worried about." Asher said, and I hoped he didn't notice I blushed at the nickname.
"What?" Finn said, then he looked at me. "Oh."
"Do you want us to go?" Asher asked me.
His voice sounded too gentle, and he was leaning toward me ever so slightly to make sure I knew he was really asking me and that he'd listen to whatever answer I gave.
"You don't have to. She's just not used to it. It might even be good for her, actually." Cal said.
I didn't know when Calypso became my mouth, brain, and doctor all at once. However, it was Cal. She was sending me a pointed look, and I assumed it meant something along the lines of you have to step out of your comfort zone and they're just being nice, chill.
Asher was still only watching me as I slumped back in my chair, defeated. When I realized he was waiting for my final concensus, I just shrugged. Realistically, I knew Calypso wouldn't be mad at me if I sent them away, but I also knew she was right. This wasn't even a big deal, so I might as well do it so I can maybe get used to things like this. Baby steps.
Five minutes later, when I noticed Asher stealing another fry from me, I pushed my tray to the middle of the table, in between us, and then grabbed one. He seemed to understand my offer to share, and he smiled sweetly at me.
****
From then on, Asher joined us at lunch quite often. Sometimes Finn was with him, sometimes not. The people at his usual table didn't look at us so much anymore, and I felt myself getting used to their presence.
Something else that happened occasionally was going to The Scoop. Asher mentioned once that he spent a lot of his free time there since Finn was working more often than not. Later, when we were alone, Cal asked how I felt about going there to hang out sometime, and I just shrugged. I hated to admit it, but Asher wasn't the worst. I still didn't know Finn very well, and he was a bit looser with boundaries than I would have liked, but I could tell he was genuinely nice.
We were at The Scoop after school one day, the same seating arrangement as the first time (except flipped, so I could see the door), when everyone started making plans to hang out somewhere else afterward.
I was eating my ice cream (which was actually the ice cream Finn made special for Asher - it was the only thing I ordered now) and trying to pretend I wasn't involved in the plan.
Maisie suggested watching movies at someones house, and Asher offered his place, since his parents were visiting relatives for a couple days. I would have been more comfortable if his parents were there, and I tried to tell Cal that with my eyes, but she wouldn't look at me.
"Yeah, but it should be a proper movie night; pajamas and pizza and stuff." She said, eyes shining with excitement.
I knew Maisie and Calypso now considered both Asher and Finn friends. They trusted them. But we had only been talking to them for a couple weeks, which wasn't long enough to be comfortable around people in my opinion.
Because they considered them friends, I knew they'd see no reason for me not to go. And, stupidly enough, I was embarrassed to tell them I was still scared. It made me feel weak, so I found myself often pretending to be totally fine around them.
"Yeah, so we should all stop home before going over so we can get changed." Maisie chimed in. "And Em, you can bring that teddy bear you sleep with."
I turned to her, giving her my best "are you serious" look and trying not to laugh. She was right, though. I still slept with my stuffed animal sometimes. But he wasn't a bear, he was a bunny. I figured it didn't matter enough to correct her.
Then her words registered, and I wondered if I'd zoned out and somehow missed the most important part of this plan.
"Wait, is this a sleepover?" I signed, eyes wide.
"Yeah, weren't you listening?" She said, looking a bit confused.
My hands fluttered around for a while before I could sign what I wanted to say - I figure this is the sign language equivalent of stuttering.
"I'm not- I can't do a sleepover."
Calypso seemed to sense my panic. "Hey, it'll be fine, yeah? Maze and I will be there. Asher has a cat, too, and you love cats."
"He's super fluffy. And you can even pick the movie." Asher said, smiling.
He couldn't read sign language, but he could use context clues to understand what we were talking about.
I slumped down in my seat and tried to find a way out of it.
The downside to pretending you're comfortable around someone when you're not really, is that when a sleepover gets proposed, your friends don't see why it's not a great idea.
Finn wouldn't be coming since he had to work until ten and he promised his mom he'd come home (apparently he'd been spending too many nights at friends houses and his mom said she missed him). This eased my mind a bit, because I knew Asher and Finn together could easily take me, Cal, and Maisie if given the opportunity. Honestly, Asher could probably do it himself, but at least we'd have a fighting chance. And my friends, for some reason, really trusted him.
So it was settled. Cal was gonna drop Maisie and I off at our respective homes to get our stuff while she went to her own house to pack, and then she'd pick us up in about an hour to go over to Ashers.
I wasn't worried about my mom's reaction to me sleeping at a boys house; she'd probably jump for joy.
Just because I wasn't worried didn't mean I wanted to immediately see her, but there she was, walking into The Scoop. Behind her, was Brook. I hadn't known she was coming.
They didn't see me at first, but when Maisie laughed at one of Calypso's 'jokes', they glanced over.
"Oh! Emberly, I was gonna call and tell you your sister was here, but we thought we'd just surprise you at home later. Guess it's still a surprise here!" My mom said, dragging Brook over to us.
I swallowed, smiled, and pointedly didn't look at Asher.
"Well? Say hi to your sister!"
My heart stopped. I paled. There was no way she'd make me talk while I was in public, right?
"Mom, she's with her friends, she doesn't have to-" Brook tried, but my mom waved her off.
"You're her sister, Brook. Flesh and blood. You shared a room half your life. If there's anyone she can talk to, it's you."
My mother kept staring at me, one too-thin eyebrow raised expectantly. Brook looked sincerely apologetic.
Shakily, I stood up. Brook gave me a small smile, but I barely caught it because I was moving in to hug her. I knew my mom wanted me to, and I was hoping she'd let me get away without speaking. She didn't.
"Well?" She prodded.
I kept my back to my table. My eyes were watering and my face was red and I didn't want them to see. My stomach was turning and I felt sick, and then I felt stupid because there was no reason why talking should make me feel so anxious. I could see Finn watching me from behind my mother.
"Hi." I mumbled, eyes and teeth clenched shut.
Brook hugged me again so she could whisper an apology in my ear, and I just let it happen.
"Good. We're gonna get ice cream. I'll see you at home." My mom said before whisking Brook away to the counter to order, where Finn was still staring. There was no way he could have heard me from where he was standing, but he obviously saw my mouth move and knew that I spoke.
My body was frozen, because I knew everyone at my table heard. I didn't want to have to face them.
"Em?" Cal said, gently.
Determined to fake normal, I spun around and sat down again. I tried, but I couldn't make myself meet anyone's eyes.
"Are you okay?" Maisie asked, touching my hand. I pulled away and turned to Cal.
"Can you drive me home now?" I asked.
My hands were shaking too much for her to understand every word.
"You wanna go home?" She clarified, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice.
I nodded. "To get my stuff for Ashers. I get to pick the movie, right?"
________
Fuck mothers am i right
(Im totally kidding i love my mom)