Chapter 14
It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
― John Steinbeck
I woke up with headache, a slight one. I sat up in bed, the bed that usually slept in. I was confusing having no idea how I got here because I remembered a Solider with a gun pointed at me. Why wasn’t I dead? Why did my head heart? I didn’t know notice someone by my bed. I almost screamed but whoever was there with me but her hand over my mouth as I realized that everyone else was still asleep.
I didn’t want to wake up the rest of the workers. Knowing they would most likely be mad at me. We didn’t get that much sleep so we took what we had. Usually just glared at us if we walked them up early or they yell at us or something close to that nature. We were not a bunch of morning people that was for sure.
I sat up way to quickly hitting my head on the wood bed frame. I rubbed my head, wincing because of the pain. That really did hurt, not I had bump on the back on my head and the front of my head I thought rolling my eyes. Why did that always happen to me at least once or twice during a month here? Always gave me headaches which I wasn’t looking forward to for today. At least I could still joke about some things. Humor the greatest kind of medicine there was at least that’s what my father said. At least I remember that.
The person knelt by the bed, and I could see who it was. It was a lady about my mother’s age with brown long hair. She had blue eyes, which seemed kind. She was average seize and height.
She gave me smile, so at least she didn’t look like she was about to kill me. Okay you can’t blame me from not freaking out about this. She could have killed me at any second but she looked nice. I know I was little paranoid but I was used to seeing people kill people and I wasn’t the most wanted but they just didn’t like any of us.
She wasn’t wearing clothes like the workers or the soldiers. So maybe she wasn’t here to hurt me. She did however wore a blue dress, which seemed really nice. Her clothes were way too nice to be part of the workers. I missed dresses like that even though I wasn’t a huge fan of dresses but I would rather wear that then the uniforms we got.
She gave me a sad smile. Okay that wasn’t good thing. I hated sad smiles, because they were never good. That either meant they knew something you didn’t and they didn’t want to tell you or I’m really sorry about something. Either way I didn’t like it. I didn’t even like smiles anymore they scared me to much especially when you see a solider smiling it’s kind of creepy but terrifying. I used to actually like smiles believe it or not. I missed my parents smiling, and Emma smiling. Gosh I just miss when things were kind of normal.
“I’m glad you’re awake, the pain should go away. You’ll be a little forgetful but your memory will come back to you soon. But you can’t tell anyone was here” she whispered quickly and before I could see anything took off outside. I watch her leave to shock to really say anything.
Well that was weird I thought watching her shut the door behind her. Who exactly was she and why did she help me? Was she one of the soldier’s wife’s that helped me? What did she helped me? I was confused on who that lady was and why she helped me. Is it that bad that I think its bad when someone helps me? Or when someone is nice to me? I hoped this wasn’t going to stay with me if I ever would get out of here. I didn’t want to think like that forever. There was always hope that I would get out of this place and everything would be somewhat okay. But who am I kidding, when will things ever be okay? Again I was mad at myself for being like this. I was a happy person I really was this wasn’t me at all.
I sadly forgot about everything when a solider came in telling us to get up and fix or beds. Right this again I thought sadly but the thought I was missing something at least. But I decided to put that in the back of mind as I lined up to get new clothes, and take bath. We hard to work fast again, because of the line. Then went by fast and soon we waiting for the others outside. We all waited outside waiting to get taken to where we would get our food before work.
Nobody talked or looked at each other it was really quite which just was really weird. The workers were looking at the soldiers with fear in their eyes as if the soldiers already did something that scared them but I couldn’t remember what they did. The soldiers didn’t do anything yet. Were they just going to kill us know or something?
We than got some breakfast and was off to work. We had to line up again in row which confused me as we usually were spilt up between women and men. It still bugged me that I couldn’t remember what was missing. I felt sick to my stomach that I didn’t know what was missing.
Part of me was telling me it was important and the other part of me didn’t want me to remember at least. Which didn’t make me feel any better. I hated the feeling of knowing something but not really know what was about. It scared me at the same time that it made me mad not knowing. I had a feeling I was going to have to get used to it and fast. Life was going to be like this and sooner I get used to it, then I will be ready when life gives you challenges like this for example.
I hoped we didn’t have to dig graves again. That wasn’t great at all, on the Brightside we didn’t burry anyone, the soldiers did that. Of course they didn’t respect the people who were once in the bodies but they threw them in like it was nothing. It was sick and wrong what they did. I swear they weren’t human sometimes. They sure like to remind us that every so often. As they usually called us ugly, trash or whatever they come up with which actually gets old really fast.
I remember digging the graves and I wished I could forgot about that but look like that wasn’t going to happen. It was way to quite in the line nobody talked at all. Nobody even looked at each other. Did I miss something? Did something happen while I was knocked out or something? Was there some kind of meeting or something that I missed when I was knocked out or something? This was all just really weird to me and I didn’t like it at all.
Why couldn’t I remember, I wished that I could remember what was going on. I only god bits and pieces on what was happening. It was sort of like putting a puzzle together but I didn’t know where all the pieces was. And I wasn’t a huge fan of puzzles which annoyed me to no end. I took deep breathes to make me focus, maybe it will come back to me soon and then I will remember whatever I’m supposed to remember. Nothing seemed to stand out for me and nobody talked about it. We seemed to be in the line for long time as peopled moved but soldiers didn’t say anything which had be very worried.
Then it came to me, where was my sister? The last time I saw her a soldier had her. He took her away from me and she was knocked out. Where was her sister? She wasn’t with her in the morning and she didn’t see her at Breakfast. Was she sent to another camp away from her? Was she dead? Where was Emma? She usually stayed by me at least tried, and I felt sudden over whelming feeling take over me.
I felt panic come over me as I looked around not seeing her messy hair. She never really left my side unless she had to, which was rarely. So where in the world was she right now? Did the lady who helped her knew were her sister was? Was her sister dead like other have been? Was it some form of punishment? Did they torture her or something? There was rumors of torture from the workers but really nobody knew if it was real or not. But it could be and if it was, is Emma part of the group of people who were tortured because of us? This was wrong, why didn’t they just hurt us or something. Pick the ones who were responsible for it? Of course they didn’t if they did kill half of us they would pick people that mean a lot to others.
Some were still eating so they were not ready to go. They felt like school children who just got done playing and had to line up before going inside. Expect this wasn’t school, everyone was a different age and this wasn’t fun at all. Is it bad that I kind wish I was rather at school. I didn’t mind it and rarely got into trouble. I would mind sitting in classroom for hours trying to learn something because I would know that a warm bed and good food waited for me when I would get home. Most importantly my mother and Father were there but not anymore. Again I was being depressing, I really needed to give myself pep talks or something. I didn’t like me like this and I knew my parents wouldn’t either. I miss my old self whoever she was.
I didn’t know what to do. I was pretty sure if I asked the soldiers they would told me anything. The group of workers I was with was very quiet and didn’t even talk to each other. Something was wrong and I was afraid that I wasn’t going to get the answers I needed which wasn’t good at all. They all had worried looks on their faces as if they knew something wrong had happen. Each of them not looking at anyone in the eye really as if they were afraid they would get attacked or something. It made me curious on what happen and why they were so afraid of everything.
Back to the line they instead of splitting up they had everyone in a long line. When I mean everyone I mean all the workers aka everyone. We had to follow the soldiers to where ever we were going and I didn’t get why we were doing this. This whole thing was making me nervous as we got closers to our destination.
We keep walking when I heard gasp ahead of me. I looked over one of the people ahead of me shoulders to see bodies. Dead bodies of people who ran or tried to run away from yesterday. But everyone was it so why weren’t we dead yet? This really was confusing.
I took a closer look and hat shocked me the most was the kid’s bodies I saw. Not just adults or elders but kids about Emma’s age. So young, and they never got the chance to live. I heard few of the workers or maybe more of them actually crying as they saw one or more of their love ones dead, and there was nothing they could do about it.
I almost fainted right there as I saw the body of my sister. Her grayish face had no life in it, her eyes were not bright as they were when she was alive. Emma was dead, they took her and killed her. They killed my baby sister, they killed her. Why didn’t they kill me instead? I should be the one that is dead not her. I was the one who decided to fight against the soldiers not my sister. How dare they kill a child? That’s just sick and wrong, half of me wanted to run to Emma but I knew she was dead. All I could do was cry silently for my mother, for my father and for Emma. I cried for the people who never got the chance to live free because of the soldiers killed them. I know life wasn’t fair sometimes but this was just cruel.
She was so young and now she would never get the chance to live a life at least somewhat normal. I was supposed to protect her not get her killed but here she was dead and there was nothing I could do about it. I promised my family that I would take care of my sister. I promise my father I would and now I broke that promise. Would my sister forgive for not saving her?
“This is your last warning you filth, I’m suppose we let you live this long. Try this again than I won’t hesitate to kill you slowly” he growled making the people close to him back away while the rest of us just glared at him. Because that was all we could do. All they were doing was making us mad. And that wasn’t a good thing at all. Was this guy part animal or something? Because they couldn’t be human.
They sent us back to work, after showing us the bodies making sure we got the message. We all looked down not looking them in the eye. Also not looking at the bodies as we all tried to remember or love ones alive and happy as they should be remembered. We did our work and we didn’t fight or try to run away. Lunch we ate our food then we got back to work.
I promised my parents if anything would go wrong that I would take care of Emma. And I seems like I failed that promise.