Chapter 9
“The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.”
― Elizabeth Cady Stanton
I don’t know where I was all I knew was that I was surrounded by darkness that seemed to take its life of it’s on. I couldn’t even see where I was going. I was alone but not alone which confused me greatly. I was running but I didn’t know what I was running from. I felt as if I was running somewhere important but I had no idea where I was running to, or if I would make it on time. Basically simple as that, was just plain scared.
I was dress in the clothes I had to wear the ones they gave us at the camp. The white striped pajamas we had to stay in because our old clothes were gone besides coats which thankfully we got to kept. Sure the Pajamas were dirty from work but these ones had blood on them.
Several questions came to me while I was running. Why did they have blood on them? Did I hurt someone? Was I hurt? Did I kill someone? No I couldn’t because I would never hurt anyone. Was it my sister’s blood? Was she dead or in trouble. Was I hurt or something? Why was I running and who was actually chasing me? Did I or someone else did something wrong to get here?
I didn’t remember being hurt, so I didn’t get why I was running. I didn’t feel pain at all it seemed like peaceful dream besides being chased by something and having blood on my clothes.
This was it, I was starting down death, and right now I was going to die. The solider raised his gun at me and was about to pull the trigger when.
“HOLLY” said a voice in my ear making me jump out of bed. I hit my head and rolled out of the bunk unto the cold ground. I groaned, I was dead for sure. That was a dream, a very bad dream to wake up to when everything seemed worse.
I got up, thankfully not hurt and stressed. We were the only ones awake. Holly must have woke me up because I was making noises. Usually I did that, on some dreams and that was one of them. I hardly had these but when I was at home my parents would make me up because I was screaming or something. I don’t know why that happen really but mostly happen when I was stress. And I guess with everything going on who wouldn’t be really? I was scared more than stress and I really wanted was to be able to go back home.
“You okay “Emma whispered I nodded a looked outside it was still dark out so I went back to the bed.
“Go back to bed Em” I whispered with yawn. She nodded and closed her eyes. I rolled over my eyes kind of too scared to go bad to sleep but I knew I had too. I picked up a stone that was under the pillow and put it against the wooden post making a mark. I did this every day we were here to see how long we were here for. So far two months, and it’s been a long two months. So far I was use to everything.
I yawn yet again and slowly closed my eyes hoping to at least get some sleep again before we had to go back to work.
I woke up to the soldiers yelling and we quietly made our beds. We then were lead to sanitary facility which we had to hurry as fast as we could. 100 people were allowed in the sanitary at the time. At least we got baths not the cleanest water but it’s better than nothing.
We then go to have breakfast which was just a piece of bread. They started to give us breakfast down, it was better than one meal at least. We ate quietly with the others as fast as we could. Then we had to line up and they took attendance. We were then spilt up in a group of ten’s because I guess it was easier to manage. Again I was lucky because my sister was in my group. At least I got to watch over her even with everything going on. That was one good thing, as that I had my sister. Without her I have no idea what I would do.
I don’t know how long we been here. All I know it’s gotten colder than it was before. At least more people join the camp and more kids Emma’s age which sadden me in way. They were just kids and yet they were force into this not know what was going on. It was wrong because kids didn’t do anything wrong but yet they were here. They were force to do whatever the soldiers wanted them to do. Most of them end up dying in the first week they go here others just barley surviving this was so wrong.
There was nothing we could do to stop them, at least not yet. All of us were too afraid to speak together with the soldiers watching us all the time. We ate in silence, worked and silence and we went to sleep. It was as if we were puppets and the Soldiers had the strings. We couldn’t do anything because in their eyes we were useless and weak. We were worthless and freaks, we didn’t belong in this world. At least that’s what they told and reminded us every day. If you hear something enough you start to believe it and that scared me. I knew they were wrong but Emma didn’t know did she? I hope she didn’t. The soldiers are wrong, I just wish they would see what they are doing was wrong.
At least nobody else so far was killed yet. But that didn’t stop the soldiers making threats day after day. Trying to scare us by working harder which seemed to work. We didn’t want to die yet, we had so much to live for and we all wanted to prove the soldiers wrong.
I asked what the building was, with smoke came out of, to one of the people who been here longer than us. A man about age of 30, who looked very thin and tried answered us. We could only talk during breaks for food so this was a good of time if any to listen.
“What are those buildings” I asked nodded to the one that had smoke coming out of it. It was a medium size building. Nobody went by it when the smoke came out of it so it made me wonder.
“People go into the building and then they don’t come out alive” croaked the man. His voice almost gone. He shrugged and turn back to his food. Well that was depressing and yet scary at the same time. The building was huge, if people did die in there how did they get out? This confused me greatly, I turn back to my food, sure I wasn’t really hungry after the talk but I had to eat something, and this was better than nothing.
I turned around and sat by my sister as we eat quietly again. It was soup of some sort I didn’t know what it was and I wasn’t going to ask what it was either. I didn’t like the soldiers but I didn’t want to be short. So I just had bare and grin it, I just didn’t know how long I could actually do this. Emma had frown on her face as she eat the rest of the meal. Soon when everyone finished we walked in the single file line back to work.
Nobody talked or really even look at each other as we stood and grabbed potato. I couldn’t stop thinking about what the guy said about the room. I wondered if I and Emma would ever go in there. I hope we never got to that point. I didn’t want to die here at this place. I wanted be 90 or something yes old with grandkids and die peacefully by falling asleep but I knew that may not be the case and that scared me.
I hoped that Emma had a long life. I hoped that she would get married and have kids of her own. I hope she would get through this and live. I hope she was going to be okay, and I would anything for her just to live. I’m supposed to watch after her now. And I’m all she has so getting in trouble was not going to be a good idea for me
I didn’t know the future but so far I didn’t think we could make it through. I saw ones who been here longer. Looking tired, sick and thing. I was scared that would be us pretty soon.
Few months little it was finally getting warmer and no more snow at least. We weren’t freezing anymore so that was a plus. They made, Women and Guys line up in a single file line to a huge filed.
I walk to the field as cold air surrounded us. We were all given a shovel and told to dig holes that would fit a human body. Emma and I teamed up because she couldn’t dig one by herself. At least they had something in their brain that told them it was bad idea to let a little kid dig by themselves
We don’t know why we were digging and I had a feeling but I didn’t want to think about it. It made me want to get sick. So I just dig the whole, with Emma. Where we digging are very own graves or something? I hope that wasn’t the cast because that would be just wrong and digesting
It seemed to go on for hours when they told us we were done. The whole about the size of average person and I wondered what they were going to do about it. Our arms were soar and we were ready to go to bed. We got to eat one more time thankfully before heading back to the barrack.
“Why we digging the holes” I head a man of the age 20 with blonde hair and brown eyes. He was tall and was kind of cute in a way. He asked one of the people who have been here the longest. A Tall thin man who looked pretty strong. His eyes were sunken in and they look almost blacked.
“Graves” whispered the other man. That was the end of that talk as we split up and went to our barracks. Emma yawned again and was the first one to the bed. I wasn’t really tired because I was thinking about what the guy said.
“Was it our graves you think” asked lady above us to her friend on the bunk. I didn’t look up to see who was talking, I just listened.
“Those who died, I don’t think it ours” muttered the other lady. Everyone talked in whispers, and looked at the entrance ready to fake being asleep if the soldier’s would come and see if anyone was awake. We all felt like little kids who wanted to stay up more expect we wanted to get out of the area fast and go home.