Chapter 4
After that one meeting, things started to roll forward at a very fast pace. Event after event happen, and Kiran found herself fitting into her new, soon-to-be family as if she was one of them.
She and Jannat were like sisters and the other girl came over for sleepovers every time Kiran's dad was away for business. Their bond had grown quite strong and their relationship flowed naturally. Surprisingly, they had a lot in common. Very few moments were left empty between them, mostly there was always something to talk about and laugh over.
Kiran was beginning to learn new things. She knew for definite that the Aziz family were practising. Religion seeped out of every action they did. Even when they were having sleepovers or they were busy doing some laughing and joking around, Jannat and Hoor refused to miss their prayer. It was surprising to see two teenage girls, dropping everything just so they could hurry onto a prayer mat and turn to their Lord. It raised the level of respect Kiran had for them, though she was still shocked. It was not like their parents knew. They could miss a prayer every now and then.
When she mentioned this to Jannat, the other girl shook her head, looking a little sad.
"I don't read for my parents," she had said, "I read for God. And God is watching me all the time."
That was the end of it. Kian never questioned them again. She had always thought religious families were extreme and forceful, but that did not seem to be the case here. It was all freewill and choice.
The mention of Haroon was brought up quite a few time. Kiran wanted to know as much as she could about her soon-to-be husband. She had no intention of ending in a marriage like her mother. She tried to be subtle about the topic, but in truth, she engraved every word about him into her head.
He seemed to be a nice guy from what she had heard. He loved his parents, messed around with his sisters, was still studying, Islamic and National Curriculum, was good at reciting the holy book (Qiraat), loved parrots and had one called Gobby.
In one of the sleepovers, Jannat dared Kiran to prank her brother. Kiran refused straight away. She had no courage to speak to him, even pretending to be someone else. Her heart took to speeding at the mere mention of it. Jannat, though, was persistent and Kiran gave in after a few moments of argument.
She rolled her eyes as Jannat bounced on her feet in excitement. Taking the phone from her, she pressed it to her ear, heart beating as the it rang. Biting her lip, she glared at Jannat who had a huge smile stretched on her face.
After the sixth ring, he picked it up. There was silence for a moment, filled in with the sound of her frantic heart.
"Hello?" it was a low male's voice.
Kiran chickened out at the sound of it. She handed the phone straight back to Jannat and sat down trying to catch up with the beats of her heart. Jannat looked disappointed. She disconnected the phone and sat down beside her.
"Coward." she muttered under her breath, nudging Kiran who scowled at her.
After a moment, both of the girls had burst out laughing, though what they found funny was a mystery.
After three weeks, she finally met Haroon, face-to-face. Their nikah ceremony was small, and only immediate family was called. Kiran's father was furious when Mr Aziz refused to have the wedding guests mixed.
"What about the family izat(respect)? Everybody's going to think we've gone back in time?" Kiran had heard her father bellow at the much more calmer man.
She had stood outside the door listening, feeling frightened. It was the night before the wedding.
"There is no such thing as losing respect, when you respect the opinions of others," Mr Aziz's voice had been calm and cool, "What respect is there if you cannot act open the teachings of the holy prophet(S.A.W)."
Against her father's wishes, the small ceremony was segregated; women in one room, the men in the other. Surprisingly, it had worked out better.
When asked if she would marry Haroon, Kiran looked away, refusing to meet any one's eye, and stayed silent. She hoped what ever happened in her future was for the best. She had to admit to herself, she had high hopes. Her hand shook when she signed the paper. Throughout the whole process, she did not glance up at Haroon once.
When it was over, she was allowed to leave the room, where all the witnesses, and Haroon's teacher, a great scholar, who had tied their knot, sat. She went over to the steps and sat down, feeling exhausted.
She had stayed up most of the night, in deep thoughts of her future. She had no idea what to expect, and what to hope for, even though she was doing it anyway. A crash from the kitchen startled her.
The house was swarming with guests. All the females had taken over the kitchen, living room, and the upstairs. The men were in the front room and the backyard. The duty of cooking food had been shared. The males would to the roasting and the Barbequing in the garden and the Chapattis and rice would be done by the women folk of the families. Everyone was enjoying themselves.
Jannat had come early in the morning to doll her up. Kiran had made sure all the make-up applied to her face was light and simple. Her outfit for the day was a light golden lengha, with silver and red designing on it. There was a strip of red on the edges of her designed dupatta(scarf), the hem of her lengha and at the bottom of her short sleeves, and around her neck. It was something her mother and Sarah had chosen and she loved it.
Hoor, who was an artist, had done everyone's mehndi the night before. Kiran's older cousin, Rameesha, had done her mehndi. The patterns on her hand were dark and beautiful, so full of life. Unlike her.
It was funny how everyone were enjoying themselves, while her, the bride was missing from all the merriment.
"You know you don't have to go through this if you don't want to." the quiet male voice surprised her.
Kiran looked up to see Haroon standing over her, looking quite handsome in a crisp white kameez(shirt) his dark hair ruffled around his strong face. He had left the room alone, quietly. She had not heard him.
"I'm sorry." was all she could say to him.
She was even more surprised when he joined her on the step. Wasn't the wedding supposed to be segregated. It seemed he was on the same thought as her.
"The Nikah is done," he told her, "Which means we are already married."
That shocked her. As long as she had had to prepare for this, the realization struck hard. She looked away from him, all words lost.
"You know if you do not agree to this, there really is no point," he was speaking to her again, "You look like you've seen a ghost."
Kiran clenched her hands, feeling her eyes prick. She was going to cry. He was speaking to her so nicely, so sweetly. He did not act at all like her father. It was almost touching. Almost.
She almost jumped when he placed a warm hand on her shaking shoulder. She was about to jerk back when she realized this young man was now her…her husband.
"Don't cry," he muttered to her, "You'll make me feel bad. Look your parents are going to come out. Why don't you talk to them."
Kiran gritted her teeth, forcing her tears back. What he had suggested was the very thing she wanted to avoid. She had been feeling her father's glare since the moment she had walked in, in his presence. She had no courage to go face to face with him. It seemed the man, now, was dead against this marriage.
She was about to say something to him when his phone rang. He answered it, removing his hand, that felt surprisingly comfortable.
"Yeah, it's over…give me a sec mate…Just a minute…have patience." and then the phone call ended.
"Look, if you want to end it, just tell me," he was resumed talking with her, "I don't want to be in a wed lock where my partner feels it obligatory on herself to marry me. That's not the kind of person I am." There was no harshness in his tone. Just blunt honesty.
Kiran felt him stand up. She looked at him and he smiled down at her, kindly. Then he turned around and walked away, just as the room door opened and her mother walked out. She came straight over and hugged her.
"Have you seen the boy?" she was excited, and happy. Her tone was all bubbly, "He's good looking and sweet. Kiran, you're lucky."
Kiran smiled to herself. Her mother was such a child.
"Look at you," Mrs Khan moved back to study her daughter's face, "You look beautiful. Smile a little."
Kiran obeyed, allowing a small smile to appear on her face. Her mother hugged her again, and Kiran had a feeling that she would probably start squealing. Good thing she did not. It would have been embarrassing.
She allowed her mother to lead her into the back room where all her family was waiting for her. All her three sisters rushed forward, hugging her.
She was taken to the middle sofa, and there she sat down, surrounded by all her family. There had been no permission for friends, and Kiran knew that after this, she would probably never see them again, unless one of them was to accept that she was married.
As she sat in the centre of all the attention, she realized that she was not very sad that she was leaving the house. Well, not as sad as she should have been. Sure she would miss her mother, her sister, her old life, the rooms of the house she had grown in, but if it meant she could be away from her father, it could be endured. It was not like she would never see her loved ones ever again.
For the rest of the day, she smiled and talked to everyone, nervously awaiting the moment when she would step out this house and go to her new one. Mrs Aziz and her girls were looking really happy, as if they could not wait for her to enter into their household.
And the more she dread it, the faster the moment approached. Before she knew it, evening was passing. It was almost time for her to leave the house she grew up in.
Excusing herself, she left the room, the curious eyes of her family watching her. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned against it and sighed, feeling exhausted. A small breeze fluttered up to her and played around with a curl that Jannat had framed around her face. She lifted her hand to pushed it back. Then raised her head and saw that the house door was open. The sound of young men laughing reached her ears.
They were stood at the side so she could only see a few tall backs. But she caught sight of Haroon. He was laughing at something one of his friends had probably said. His face was relaxed and happy, no trace of fear or worry on him. He was looking handsome.
"I see you've already taken a liking to the boy." the rough male voice froze her.
She looked down, as if she had been caught doing something wrong. She wondered, for a brief moment, why she was acting like this. The man she had been watching was now her husband. But she dared not say that to her father. They were alone here. There was no telling what he would do to her. He could strike her and no one would know about it and she knew that she was too much a chicken to rat him out. Besides who would listen to her? Her father was an intimidating figure, with a certain influence on the full family. No one would ever oppose him.
"He's good-looking, a kid and a soft hearted boy. Not a man at all." Disapproval was evident in his tone.
Kiran wanted to know why he was acting like this. He was the one who had wanted her married and he was the one who had scared her away into this marriage. Now that she was almost free, he was pulling on her strings again. Trying to bring her back into her cage. She was forever trapped, as long as he was here. Biting her lip, she told herself not to cry.
"I don’t like him There is no commanding air about him and they are too religious."
Kiran was confused. Was t not her father that had sent them to mosque? Made it evident that she was not to approach a boy in her entire life, ever, unless she was married. And to a man of his choosing. Though it seemed it was not working out right for him.
"The whole family is talking. There's no music, no mixing, no pictures. What are we, in the old ages?" she could sense his anger. It caused her to flinch. She was scared that he would hit her. The laughing and talking of the boys seemed faraway, even though they were in the same place. She wished he would just go. But she wished in vain. He resumed speaking.
"Kiran, there is something that you need to do!" He was full on intimidating and Kiran felt herself shake. She was glad her scarf kept her face hidden from him, "Are you listening to me, Kiran?"
She nodded meekly, not raising her head. She gasped when he grasped her by the shoulders and shook her, forcing her to look into his hard eyes.
"Tonight you will ask him for a divorce. You will tell him that you want to leave and that you don't like him. By morning you should be back under my roof. Do you hear me?"
Kiran just went rigid. It was happening again. He was playing with her life. He wanted her away from any freedom. He had forced her into marriage, and now that he was seeing that she would be able to stretch her wings and fly about, he wanted her straight back in her cage.
"Kiran, do you hear me?" her father demanded, shaking her again.
Kiran nodded. Her father smirked, letting her go.
"That stupid family think they can order me about. This will teach them." he turned around, leaving her scared and alone, and walked back into the men room.
Kiran sank onto the floor, not bothered about her expensive lengha. She felt warm arms go around her. It was Sarah, hugging her and assuring her. Kiran had no strength to ask her why she was here. Instead she welcomed the embrace and wept openly, glad her make-up was light and waterproof.
She looked up to wipe her eye and caught Haroon looking at her in sad curiosity. Her heart froze. Had he seen her father do what he had done? Did he know what was going on?