Two uploads in a day to make up for the delay :) (that kinda rhymes???)
C h a p t e r T w e n t y T w o
Pasts & Groceries
♔ L u c y ♔
"Sit down." He gestures to the general area of his room. I jump onto his bed, sitting down pretzel style.
"Where's your mom?" I ask, noticing that the house is quiet.
"She went shopping with Rebecca."
"Did you have lunch?" I feel my motherly instincts kick in.
"Not yet, no." Jason smiles sheepishly as he runs a hand through his chestnut hair.
"Alright, I'll make you something." I get up, ready to head to the kitchen. Jason follows behind me.
"We don't really have any ingredients." He mentions, and I confirm by giving the inside of the fridge a once over.
"Does Barbara still leave grocery cash on her nightstand?" I quiz, preparing to head to her room.
"I think so. Want me to go check?"
I nod, and the two of us go back upstairs. I don't enter her room, because it feels kind of wrong. Like I'm trespassing. Jason exits with a familiar brown wallet in hand.
"What, we're going grocery shopping?" he raises an eyebrow quizzically and I nod in affirmation.
"I didn't call you over to mom me, Lu. We can just order something."
"Shut up." I flick his forehead and gesture for him to follow me downstairs.
"Lucy, I'm serious."
"So am I. You said yourself you can't go on with outside food forever. Besides, I haven't had lunch either and I want to eat something homemade." I lie about the second half just so he'll listen to me.
I hear Jason huff behind me and know that I've won. He takes his keys from the keyholder beside the coat rack and locks the house. We get in his car and he makes his way for the grocery store.
"I may as well start calling you mother." Jason grumbles.
I don't comment on it. Instead, I start thinking of whether I should tell him about my decision on coming back.
Deciding to do it, I ask, "How would you feel if I, uh, moved back in?"
My brother whips his head to look at me for a second, a look of disbelief on his face. He turns back just as quick to look at the road.
"I'd feel like you're an idiot."
I sigh. I didn't expect Jason to be jumping at the idea or helping me execute it. In fact, between the Knights and Jason, I suspected he'd be the most against the idea of me returning.
"Well, I have been considering it. Linda and George said they'd support my decision."
"Linda and George didn't have to watch their mother abuse their sister right in front of them." He snaps back and I slump in my seat.
"Jason, you said yourself that everything is a mess without me here."
"Lucy, I would rather things be hectic than have my sister be treated like shit."
"George said he'll lay down some rules Barbara has to follow in order for me to stay."
"What makes you so sure she'll follow them? How do you know mom won't flip shit if you try to come back?"
I clear my throat a little. It's surprising to see the substantial level of calm that Jason is maintaining. His eyes are focused on the road, his knuckles almost white from his grasp on the steering wheel.
"If she does let me come back, I would like to." I express.
Jason stays silent for a while. From his face, it looks like he's analyzing the situation. I notice the prominence of his jawline once more and sigh.
"How much weight have you lost since I left?"
"Huh?"
"Your weight. How much has it gone down?" I repeat.
When he doesn't reply, I press, "Jason. I asked you a question."
"Uh, like by six or seven pounds." He admits, squaring his jaw.
"This is exactly why I want to come back." I groan.
"If the roles were reversed, would you have let me?" He gazes at me with soft eyes as the car stops at a red light.
"No." is my reply.
"Exac-"
"But you would have done it anyways." I argue, knowing that it's true. Jason is one of the most protective and determined people I know. Come hell or high water, he will go through it for the people he cares about.
I will too.
"For fuck's sake," he grumbles.
I stare at him in anticipation, because I know he's reaching the point of giving in.
"Fine, but I get to add to the rules." He points a finger at me, as if accusingly.
I throw my arms up in the air, a grin wide on my face. "Yes!"
Im not sure what Im so happy about. If anything, living in Barbara's household is something most people would trade for a year in prison. But knowing that I've got Jason on my side makes me dread the whole ordeal a little less.
Jason seems to think the same thing, because he articulates, "You're probably the only person on earth who'd be happy about living in the same house as mom."
"Well, technically, it won't be the same house."
"Oh no, no, no." Jason shakes his head. "My first term will be that you'll take the second guest room."
I raise my eyebrows. "Why?"
"Lucy, the storage house is for, as the name suggests, storage. On top of that, when it rains I know water gets inside. And we live in Seattle, so it rains a lot."
I exhale, not even wanting to argue.
"Fair enough, Jay. Do me a favor and take my side when I try to convince Barbara to let me come back, alright?"
"I'm always on your side, Lu. You know that."
I reach out and ruffle his hair.
♔♚♔
After checking out, we load the groceries in and head back.
"Did we really need conditioner?" Jason complains for the umpteenth time.
"I messed your hair up before getting out, Jay. The texture is abhorrent."
He mutters something under his breath for which I lightly slap his shoulder. He pokes his tongue out at me as a response.
"Mature." I utter sarcastically.
"I know." He grins.
♔♚♔
After unloading the groceries, I whip up some chicken wraps with baked potato wedges. We eat while watching television in his room.
"I remember when dad took us to grandma's farmhouse, you saw the chickens and decided to become a vegetarian. You lasted like two days." Jason chuckles at the memory.
I smile fondly, remembering glimpses of the time. I didn't want to hurt the chickens, and so made the decision. Barbara gave me chicken nuggets a few days later and my resolve crumbled.
"Remember when he taught us to swim? You were so scared you locked yourself in the bathroom for like two hours."
"Oh my gosh! Yeah, I remember. He had to promise to buy me something to get me out. I can't remember what, though."
"I think it was some sort of action figure? You were really into those." I recall.
"Rebecca was really nice back then. She used to play with us." Jay smiles and shakes his head.
"Yeah. I remember her getting me hot wheels for my birthday once. I loved those."
"Loved? You were obsessed!"
I chuckle. Jason pours water into two glasses and slides one towards me.
"I miss dad." There's a sadness in Jason's voice that I rarely hear. It's light, reminiscent, the voice you'd expect a teardrop to have.
"I do too." I reply with a tight smile. Images of a burning car flash through my mind and I shake my head to try and get rid of them.
"Can I ask you something?" Jason questions and I gesture for him to go on. "Were you the one who saved Matt from drowning?"
I almost spit my water out in shock. That night isn't something I like to think of often. In fact, it's the first time in a long time I've thought of it. It almost didn't occur to me that I didn't tell Jason about it.
"Judging by your face, I'm guessing it's a yes."
I don't know how to react or go about answering. Jason's face is placid, void of any sort of substantial emotion.
"Well, yeah." I confirm, running a shaky hand through my tangled hair.
I really need a haircut.
"How come you didn't tell me? I wouldn't have said anything to Matt if you didn't want me to." he cocks his head to the side.
"At first, I wanted to save you the trouble of having to lie to your best friend. Later, I guess I kind of forgot." I reply truthfully.
"Huh. Alright." Jason shrugs. "I can't say I'm not glad you saved him."
"That's me." I raise a hand in mock salute. "The savior."
"Why didn't you tell Matt?" he asks the question I expected him to.
"I honestly didn't want to involve myself with him. There was also the matter of making sure neither Rebecca or Barbara find out where I was that night. The less people knew, the better." I shrug. I'm not sure why or how I was being nonchalant about this. Ever since the incident, thinking of it would send chills down my spine. I never expected talking about it to be easy. Casual even.
"Nathan saw you, though." He points out.
"I didn't know that until a few weeks ago, by then, we created a sort of bond." Then something occurs to me. "He told you?"
"Just that he caught a glimpse. He didn't say it was you."
"Then how did you figure it out?"
"I saw a journal at Matt's house. Thought it looked familiar."
"Oh. Did he read it?" I quiz, biting my lips anxiously. The journal isnt really embarrassing as much as it is a sort of time-machine. I wrote on it when I was ten and kept it around because of the sentiment. The only thing special it really holds is the letter from and a picture of my mother which is in a secret compartment I oh-so-intelligently made when I was a kid.
"Yeah, just to find a name. He skimmed through it backwards because he didn't want to invade anyone's privacy."
My breath hitches at the mention of that. To think Matt would be so. . . thoughtful about something so trivial. I think it just made me like him all that much more.
"I, uh, used code names so if anyone did open it, they wouldn't know it's me."
"Didn't you write in that journal almost a decade ago?" he cocks an eyebrow.
"I did." I grin. "I was a sneaky ten-year-old, as you can tell. With deep, deep secrets."
"Dork." Jason rolls his eyes.
"Little dork." I bite back, making him frown.
"Won't you ever tell Matt?"
Will I ever tell matt? At this point I think it's a little too late. If anything, he may get angry at me and our chances at a happily ever after will be ruined.
I can't let that happen, now can I?
So, I tell Jason that, less the happily ever after bit.
We spend the next few hours playing Mario Kart, where I absolutely kick his butt.
I make sure there are enough chicken wraps left for Jason to eat before leaving. After dinner, Megan and I watch some shows on Netflix and tell each other about our days. At around midnight, while scrolling on my phone, I get drowsy drift to sleep.
♔♚♔
Updated: 24/12/16