"The sunlight sees your body, but the moonlight sees your truth." - Anonymous
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Following April's directions, I push the Deathwish through the moon gate. Where I drop the kickstand on the bike before closing the gate securely behind me.
I am just beginning to understand what Guys Mike meant when he said, the Grimm's were not San Fall rich, but real world wealthy. Because the House of Grimm isn't like any house I've ever seen before. It's more an entire hillside that been converted into a sprawling terraced house. Like one of those Frank Lloyd Wright terraced house's built in the side of a mountain with the natural landscape. Surrounded by old some expensive looking foreign trees that I don't think naturally belong here.
I head around the side of the house alone and down the flagstone steps to the garden level to the long Koi pond. Which turns out not to be one pool but a series of cascading ponds of dark water. Ringed with bright blood red Japanese maple trees around the circumference of the cascading Koi pools. The bloody landscape reflects back into the glass wall that dominates an entire side of the main house like a mirror darkly.
So through the bloody forest I go until I reach the bridge. Stone pagodas stands guard over the entrance to an ornate bridge that arches across the dark pool. Across the arching bridge, I cross over the dark waters of the Koi pond and down into the garden proper.
The garden landscaping alone is impressive in its ostentation. Complete with those tall stone lantern things spread along throughout the manicured paths. Even without the obvious moon gate and the ornate pagoda bridge, I get the sense that the entire theme is clearly Celestial in nature. It occurs to me that May has indeed has been holding out on the Ancient Celestial secret spots. Cause if Chins was here, I am pretty sure she would be in Sinophile heavenly kingdom right now big time.
True to April's directions the guest house, sits down away from the water. Behind a stand of giant bamboo trees, effectively screening it off from the main house. It also turns out to be less of a bungalow and more of floating Japanese Tea House. With a wide dark hardwood floors running around the outside. I think it's supposed to be a traditional tea house or a moon viewing room thing? Which would definitely fit into the leitmotif of everything else I've seen of the Grimm garden so far.
After crossing over another low wooden bridge, I reach the small floating tea house. Where I finally find May waiting for me on the wide porch. She is sitting contritely outside in a rope nest swing thing just listening to the wind. I take note that she is wearing a thin pale robe over a pair of black silk pajamas and she looks absolutely adorable.
It also looks like there is no way in hell she is going hop into the back of a motorcycle in this outfit. Not unless she wants to add pneumonia to her list of maladies. So I'm pretty sure at this point the only way we are going out for dinner and a movie is if it's ordered in.
"May, it's me," I announce before taking the last tentative step down to the wide wood porch.
"Hey Dare, danger stranger." She singsongs up at me smiling.
"April just let me in, I hope that's cool?"
"Yup. That's pretty much what she was supposably supposed to do." May smirks up wickedly.
Well, that and supposably throw a bunch of condoms at me from a moving vehicle apparently.
"Hey, May," I step up and touch her on the end edge of her collarbone.
The one place on her body designated as mine and mine alone. Something that we started doing after the kiss in the rain that day. The secret signal of the slight twisting press of my fingertip on the edge her collarbone, so that she will always knows it's me, and only me.
"Hey yourself." She smiles so brightly up at me and her eyes pull me down into their depths. She edges closer and buries her face into my chest to deeply inhales in my scent. "Mmmm...you smell good."
"Yeah, I've been doing that bathing thing lately, that's all the rage with the kids. And ol' Aces even let me try some of his old Aquavelvet scented smelling skin stuff."
"Good to know." She snorts. "So on a totally unrelated subject of naked you in a shower?
"Yeah, so it turns out my parents aren't actually going to be coming back home tonight? Or maybe not even tomorrow apparently? So I was thinking that instead of our usual date night ...how would you feel about having a little slumber party sleepover with me instead?" May beams her best smile up hopefully.
I am so tempted to tell her that I just had a seriously unintelligible conversation with her sinister sister on the way in. One which ended in having condoms hurled at my feet from a moving vehicle. But instead, I go with a slightly smarter play in her new game.
"I think that's cool?" I reply hesitantly. "But just so you know, I've never been to a slumber party before. So are there like a lot of rules of etiquette for these kinds of things, that I should know? Or any festive themes I should be aware of?"
"O yeah." May nods seriously and takes my hands in hers, lacing her fingers thru mine and nuzzles her head into my chest where I can feel her murmuring. "Tonight's festive theme is ...let's have us some sex?"
"Ahhh..." Because at this moment my mind can only manage to drone the first letter of the alphabet.
"See I have this little problem that I think you might be able to help me with." May is nibbling her bottom lip, grinning up uncertainly into me.
"So it seems that like you, I too am a virgin. And after tonight I would very much like not to be one of those anymore? So I was thinking that maybe you might like to help me take that to heart? Cause at the moment I'm thinking that I'd very much like to take yours." There is a long pregnant pause before she burst out giggling. "But seriously, I think the time has come to do really something about that weird third eye thing of yours."
"I'm cool, if you're cool?" I try to sound wholeheartedly besotted with this idea. But the truth is I have my reservations about this sudden "let's have some sleep over sex" stuff.
I want to say some stupid stuff to her that involves a lot of talking things through. But I can see that she had taken a huge risk putting herself out there like this. And to even think of rejecting her on any level is anathema to me...not that I ever would or could.
The truth is, I would give her anything of myself she wants. And hanging on to my virginity is not even close to a priority for me. But the thought of "taking" something from her however, is disconcerting to say the least.
So I'm about to start a very long conversation with May. One where I ask her if she is absolutely a "100% positive" that this sexy sleepover thing is what she really wants to do? And to remind her once more that I am not long for San Fall. That I don't want her to ever feel that I've taken advantage of her on the way gone. That after I am long gone she may come to regret this impulsive dalliance with "that boy who passed through" like a bad memory. But as usual, May beats me to the punch.
"O yeah, I'm definitely cool. So now if you don't mind, I think a whole lot of that kissing stuff is soon in order." May smiles up at me and wraps her arms around my neck. I can see in her face that she has made the final determination to go through with this night, regardless of any words I might have.
"As I know how much you like to carry me around? So I'm thinking that you should probably do that "sweep me off my feet" thing and take me into the bedroom already. You know before the scented candles inside get to scenty?"
Then again talking time is sooooo overrated...
So I do as instructed, gently picking her up in my arms. Walk us both into the guest house and down onto the waiting futon on the floor.
After a seriously long sunset, and an inordinate amount of kissing, we are lying side by side facing each other on the low futon bed on the floor. Per her request, May has remained in her silk pajamas, but unfortunately for me, I am not so lucky. She calls this fair because this way we are both "in the dark" that way. I don't bother to tell her that the sun has already set because I know why she is doing this. That she has an issue with me seeing her in all her glory ...and all her scars.
Even though I've caught glimpses of some of her scars from time to time, they are not something that we have talked about too much. All I know of them is that the scars she wears underneath her silks are not small cute things, but old and deep. Instead, I run my finger down her silks, feeling around the curves of her ribs, to the arch of her back and down to the slight round of her hips.
May has taken to amusing herself by exploring, fluttering her light hands around my body. Examining me by tracing her fingers along the lines of muscles, bone, and sinew. Taking her sweet time reading my own paltry scars, and making me tell her about the origin everyone. And of every tattoo I wear and its meaning. All the while slowly tracing out the words and sigils on my skin with her fingertips. When she is finished reading my skin to her satisfaction, May moves on to torturing me with light kisses.
"Ya never know, I could be one of those succubus chicks. Speaking of which..." She slowly slides down my skin, giggling in a low throatier voice, as opposed to her usual light lilting giggle. "And there has been this one thing that I have been most curious about?"
A low moan unconsciously emanates in the base of my throat with my next exhale. Soon after I lose complete track of time and all thoughts, in the gentle undulating bliss that is occurring in the dark. I do not know how long I am lost in the darkness before I regain my mind again.
"I think I need to rest on you for a minute or two, please." She sighs wistfully reclining back onto my chest.
I am once again amazed at how light this tiny creature attached to me is. No sooner does she breathe, then I hear the susurrus whisper of silk sliding along her skin. Then then feel of her warmth as the back of her bare legs press into my thighs.
"Okay, so are you ready to do this thing or what? Cause I think I'm pretty ready, if you are?" She smirks shyly back at me. "Because you seem pretty ready to me? Not that I'm an expert by any means."
"I'm ready if you are," I assure her.
"Then I think it's time for you to put the condom and stuff on." She instructs succinctly.
"Okay." The feeling of absolute rightness of being made to fit together perfectly. I don't know where I end and the balloon begins. Ah ...the romance.
May takes in a deep determined breath though her nose, and her face is suddenly tense and uncertain. Knowing her as I do, I can see that she has now put herself in a position that she can't easily extract herself from. That now she must be feeling like has to see has this dark deed through or risk losing the momentum of the moment. I feel like this is the moment that I should probably say something seriously stupid.
"Maybe, if you're not okay with this ...we could always ...just not?" I offer weakly. Even though every cell in my body, other than the one brain cell that spoke those words, is screaming at the one stupid brain cell to shut the hell up and just be cool.
"No, I want. I'm just kind of nervous. I don't want to do this once. I mean only want to do this once...the first time." May stifles another giggle. "Okay, what I meant is I only want to do this first time thing once."
"Oh good, I thought it was just me." I sigh. Because let's face it, I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing at the moment, other than the obvious.
"Right." She steels herself and her face looks as intense to me. "So if it's alright with you, I want to do this my own way the first time? Okay?"
"Okay May, anything you say." Are apparently these are the only words I know how to say. Especially, now that the rest of my brain cells have hunted down and executed that one talking traitor.
"So what I want from you is to talk to me through this. Tell me what you are feeling, and let me if you're okay."
"I'm okay." And all I can think is ...great, I am so bad at this that she's now worried about me feeling all right? "Oh, and by the way, I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be my line in this particular play?"
"Okay then, start talking because here we go..." I feel her body shift slightly as she slides down with the tender force required to break my heart.
Never have two pure beings such as ourselves been fused so surely and so inexplicably twined as May and I in that moment stuck in time. Which I am sure everyone everywhere feels exactly the same in their mind's eye moment.
And after that, all things went almost according to plan...
..o0o..
Sometime a little later, when we are much more sweatier than we were before. May finally lays her head down on my shoulder and I wrap my arms tightly around her capturing her close. She feels so slight laying on my chest like air. So perfectly still, save for her hummingbird heart thrumming a thousand miles an hour. I am continually amazed at how such a small creature can exert so much heat, she almost burns me alive.
"Can we just stay like this for a while?" She sighs breathlessly into me.
"Forever, if that's what you want." I breathe back. So of course I can't help myself, so I say possibly the second lamest thing I can say in the moment. "Are you okay, May?"
"Mmmm ... yes? No ...kind of?" May smiles weakly. "That was just really a lot more intense than I'd imagined it would be."
"Yeah." And I am at a complete loss for words again.
"I think I just need to rest here for a minute and catch my breath." She heaves heavily, her breathing is still slightly ragged from her exertions.
With her head is crooked back on my shoulder facing me, her half-closed eyes are zooming in and out with her heartbeats. For someone who can't see, May's eyes were amazingly expressive at that moment. Until finally they close, and a singular tear rolls down the side of her cheek and onto my shoulder. Where it sears into my skin and burns down into what's left of my soul. With that solitary tear spent she slowly slips into sleep, and I begin my night watch over her.
I know from our talks that May is a crepuscular sleeper at best. So this sudden slip into slumber after the fact is not exactly a surprise. We lay twinned like this for what seems like an eternity, watching the night air passing over her body as she sleeps deep. Inhaling in the scent of night blooming jasmine from the garden outside, until the large moon begins to rise into the night sky. It's a perfect lunatic moon, with moonlight so bright that the surf glows blue when it breaks, and you can see out over the ocean deep for miles and miles.
As the moonlight slowly fills the room, my night eyes trace the thin scar across the bridge of her nose, and its matching half moon sister scar along her thin chin bone. At some point during our coupling her silk top has become undone and is draped lazily back off her shoulder. Under the moonlight, I can see her entire body for the first time. I am both struck by her iridescent beauty and shocked the myriad of scarlet scars scrawling out their stories across her skin.
There are hundreds of small scars to choose from, like cruciform carved out everywhere across her pale skin. I can't help tracing my finger lightly over the stories on her shoulders that tell the tales of a life of pain. The most noticeable of the older scars on her body is the center line scar from her clavicle almost to her navel, from what I can only assume was some childhood trauma.
The wickedest of the all the scars starts in the small of her back and runs jaggedly like a crescent moon. All the way around her shoulder blade to the underside of her rib cage. I've seen a few scars like this in the pool before, and I recognize the type from heart surgery. Most likely as a newborn baby, based on the things she has told me.
She is scared and she is marred, and yet somehow she is still the most beautiful girl in the world to me. This light little girl in my arms has taken everything that life and death have thrown at her and come back smiling. Because each and ever scar sings to me, that she is a survivor of battles. Bloodied but unbowed ...and ever victorious. And I am ashamed of myself, that I have not suffered nearly enough to be worthy of loving her. Let alone having stolen a piece of her heart for my own.
"What are you doing, Dare?" She murmurs in her sleep pulling away from me. It seems that even in her sleep she is self-conscious of her scars. As if she somehow knows that I am finally seeing her in all her scared glory.
"I loved her for her scars and the trials that they represented, each telling its own tale of perseverance..." I murmur back badly misquoting Othello.
"You love my scars?" She sighs sadly, shifting slightly away form me.
"They are part of you ...what choice do I have?" I rest my chin her shoulder lightly where my mouth is next to her ear. "Because I love everything about you Maybe...scars and all."
"Mmmm. You know you're kind of a strange dude, right?" She breathes deeply and pushes back into me again before slipping back into an easy sleep.
Hours later when the moon starts to set behind the high hills of San Fall, May begins to stir again. I feel her hand reach back behind her and slide down my side as if to assure herself this is not another dream. I listen to her inhale deeply and exhale happiness, and I let go the fears for her that I've been holding onto, keeping me wide awake.
"Are you..." She whispers.
"Awake? Yeah." I reassure her.
"Okay! Holy hell not a dream! Yeah, that so just totally happened!" May puts her fist to her mouth to stifle the giggle and begins kicking her feet on the mattress. She is wide awake now, and alive like lightning.
"Wait..." She snorts. "...so do I look different to you now?"
"O yeah." I snort in retort. "Your hair is huge."
I am rewarded for my honesty by a quick snap slap on the side of my bare thigh, that actually stings bone deep.
"I'm being serious, Dare." May's tone has suddenly become slightly serious. "Do I look different to you? Like can you tell we just did ...what we did before?"
"Mmmm..." I put the smile in my voice for her to hear. "Well, you are definitely glistening and you're not frowning quite as much? So yeah I'd say you look different."
"You think people will be able to tell I'm not ...you know ...the same as I was?" She flickers a frown down.
"Ah." I finally understand where this is going, will she be betrayed by her sultry smiles? "I don't know May, do you feel the same?"
"Ah ...hell no? Probably cause I just put your boy thing inside me a whole bunch?" May suddenly burst out in another peel of girlie giggles. "Buwaaa ...it's like suddenly I am getting a lot of the jokes that I've heard and didn't really understand before."
"Better than sex?" She laughs snortling. "Yeah, I so totally get that expression now."
"Cause, oh my gawd! I never thought I would like anything more than pizza." She turns into me grinning wickedly. "Like you've heard about it so much, cause everyone is always talking about it, fantasizing about it ...but you've never tasted it. Then one day you get your first slice and you're like, 'oh my gawd ...I love this stuff!' Where have you been all my life?"
"Seriously." I agree. Because I am almost sure she is not really talking about pizza anymore.
"Hey...Dare?" Her smile fades slightly.
"Yes, May?"
"So does this mean that we are like lovers now?" May trills melodically to cover the intensity I think she is feeling. "Cause I can't wait to introduce you around to all my many friends as my daring lover." She over pronounces "daring lover" in a faux French effected manner.
"Oh yes, my many friends ...we make thee love. Many times in many ways, to rhythms of our carnal hearts, my daring lover and I." She reaches up and tentatively strokes the side of my face. "O' how I love you, my daring boy."
I know that she is not completely kidding around anymore. Just as I know that I am supposed to say something cool like "Yeah...cool" or "Totally" or some other lame tough guy thing. But that all seems so much less of what I feel for her at this moment. So I tell her the one true truth I did not say that day in the park under the lightning.
"Maybe, I love you more than life itself." I intone my true truth.
There is a silence between us that stretches out. Before she twists herself around in my arms, pressing her slight self into me. With her head on my chest and when she speaks softly to me little puffs of air drifting over me like clouds.
"So then that wasn't a dream then either?" She says in the smallest voice I have ever heard her use.
"No May. I love you...forevermore." I repeat my oath.
"Then make the love to me again, my daring boy." She wraps her arms around me fiercely. "Some more of the same ...and some of the different."
Ever so slowly her movements began again, her hips gyrate slowly moving me inside of her, and as gently as possible I responded in kind. And then we were doing "it". Not with wild abandon or anything, but with a tender intensity and climactic commitment. And 'it' was sooo good, until it wasn't anymore ...it was absolutely awesome.
Sometime much much later, after things went way better than our first attempt at this madness, we lay on intertwined heaving big panting breaths of overexertion. This time I am laying my head on the back of her chest, listening to her thrumming hummingbird heart, as her breath fills an leaves echoes in the hollow places inside her.
"Oh ...my ...Gawd..." May sighs and then starts to laugh. "I don't know about you but I so want some pizza right now!"
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