I broke as those words came out of his mouth. Those words I had wish he would tell to me one day. But now I knew it was never going to happen. And as much as I wanted and wish to be able to say I was over Cody Clarke I knew I wasn't. I never fully will be because he played such a big role in my life I could ever forget it. He was the first guy I actually let get close.
I wanted to move. I wanted to get out of this dreaded barn so bad but my legs wouldn't allow it. So I was force to watch as he slipped the ring onto her hand. Slowly and painfully then they kissed and wrapped each other into a hug.
Only then did our eyes met.
Only then did I let myself really cry that way I could show him how much he hurt me.
Only then did I allow myself to move.
I pushed past the crowd of people as tears cloud my vision. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I just had to get out of there. I didn't stop once I made it out of the barn I keep running through the maze of cars that were parked right outside. Until I was sure I was completely alone. Out in the middle of a field. I then sat down and cried.
I cried harder then I had every cried in my life.
I was hurt, I was confused. But most of all I was mad.
Mad at myself for ever letting him go. Mad at Chad for ruining what could have been. Mad at my mother for ending it all so soon. Heck I was even mad I even came down here in the first place. Because then I would have never of met Cody Clarke and I would have never of known someone like him was out here.
I wish I could have taken those two months back because I regretted ever allowing him in. I wish he would have understood why I left. I left him that note, I told him I loved him wasn't that enough?
They probably followed the sounds of my sobs because soon Sage, Jane, and Courtney were at my side helping me up and wiping my tears. Sage keep apologizing for insisting we came tonight. As they lead the way back to Jane's car.
We drove in silence only my muffle cries and the radio were heard. We dropped Sage off were we had left her car before going and dropping Courtney off who gave me one last hug whispering sorry. Until finally it was just me and Jane.
"Don't worry he is going to get it when he comes home." Jane said after a moment of silence.
"No." I said my voice cracking.
She whipped her head in my direction confused.
"Don't go off on him and say that you hate Mollie because you don't. You and her were best friends in high school. His your brother and that was his choice so you-" I paused taking in a deep breath. "You need to support him."
"But I can't when that was a stupid choice. Mollie is just going to marry him and then get a divorce so she can get part of the land. She is tricky that way. I know his not over yo-" I cut her off.
"Jane." I begged. "Please not tonight."
She must have noticed how much I was pleading for her to drop the subject because her mouth shut tight.
I didn't need to hear how he wasn't over me when clearly he was or else he wouldn't of just asked some girl to marry him. We settled back into silence until we pulled up to Tate's house.
"Do you think he knows?" I asked looking over at Jane.
She nodded slowly.
"I think he has known for a while."
I shook my head forcefully.
"No he wouldn't hide something like that from me." I said confidently.
She simply nodded as I got out telling me she would call me when she got home. I waved to her as she backed out of the drive way and slowly walked up the steps into the house.
Tate stepped out of the kitchen and frowned at my expression. I looked up at him my lip trembling.
"His marrying her." I bawled.
Tate instantly wrapped his arms around me tight and I cried into his shirt for what felt like hours. Until finally I pulled away and looked up at him slowly. Almost afraid to ask the question that bothered me.
"Did you know?"
His eyes searched mine as he was quiet for a moment -a moment too long-.
"How long?" I cried as I shoved him away from me looking down at the floor beneath me.
When he didn't answer I looked up at him to see tears streaming down his face also.
"How long! Tate!" I shouted causing him to flinch.
"I helped him pick it out." Is all he said. But that wasn't a answer.
"Tate." I said through gritted teeth taking a step closer to him. "How long did you know that he was going to purpose?"
Tate didn't look me in the eye as he whispered. "He picked the ring out when I picked Courtney's out."
To say I was shocked was an understatement.
"You knew the whole time I was here!?" I screamed angry now. "You watched me cry over some guy I was hoping would take me back. To then hoping I could get over him. And you knew this whole freaking time and didn't think you should at least warn me!"
He stayed looking at the ground, mumbling sorry.
"You hate Kelby because he made a mistake. And you won't forgive him but you keep something that was important from me. And you except me to forgive you?"
He was quiet but I could hear his soft crying. I had never seen Tate cry until now.
"I'm sorry, Emma I knew I should have told you but I just couldn't." He said his voice cracking.
"I can't believe you would do something like this." I said shaking my head in disappointment.
I folded my arms over my chest and stormed off to my room quickly pulling out the suitcases I had packed under the bed. Tate followed me mumbling sorry sorry in between sobs and as much as I wanted to tell him it was okay and forgive him. I just couldn't.
I grabbed all the close I had nicely hung in the closet and crammed everything back into my suitcases. Tears clouding my view.
"Emma don't leave." He begged as he grabbed my arm.
I stopped looking up at his tears stained face.
"You'll be lucky if I come back for the wedding." I said through gritted teeth.
I grabbed my bags and started taking them out to the car he had let me borrowed while I had spent time here. He watched me from the front porch as I did this. Jumping into the drivers seat and starting the car up.
I yanked it into reverse and tore down the dirt road. It wasn't good on this car to drive so fast since it sat s low on the ground but I could careless. Tears fell one after another and I was finding it hard to keep them at bay. I debated whether to go say goodbye to Halsey because I wasn't sure when I would be back. But I shook my head. It wouldn't help any she would make me stay and I can't. I just can't do this any more.
I can't walk around for another week acting like everything is fine when it isn't. I can't look at that ring on Mollies left hand and think about how badly I wanted it. I can't face Tate any longer after all he had done. And most of all I couldn't face Cody not after this because in the end he really won. I'm the one that lost everything while he gained everything.
****
I sipped on my coffee my face scrunching up at the taste. I still would never understand why I picked up this habit. I hated coffee with a passion but I keep drinking it. Pretty messed up.
I glanced up at the screen the told me flight 234 leaving Salt Lake City was to board in five minutes. Throwing away my barley touched coffee I gathered my carry on and walked to the entrance joining the line of people waiting also.
I didn't notice at first until I heard a voice beside me.
"Your Emma Hansen." A older lady with long brown hair said beside me.
I gave her a small smile.
"I am."
"I love your magazines, I read them every month. When are you going to start going back to weekly?" She asked.
I sighed.
That was the last thing on my mind.
"Not until we get it up the charts." I replied honestly.
The lady frowned.
"That article about Tate helped though didn't it?"
I shrugged.
"I have looked at the charts yet, I'm headed back to New York now."
She nodded pondering for a moment.
"You know an article about you might help your popularity."
I opened my mouth to say some,thing but quickly closed it. I haven't ever thought about that.
"I'll think about it." I told her right as the announcer came on telling us that our flight was now boarding.
I left the lady walking forward with my bags as I climbed onto the plane. Lucky me got a window seat and as I waited for the others to get on I watched out the window with a frown. This was the first place I had seen Cody. This is were we met. I shook my head tearing my eyes away from the window instead looking at who I was sitting next to me.
A guy probably around Tate's age plopped down in the seat next to me giving me a goofy smile. But I had nothing I could give in return. I had just slept in the backseat of a car and I haven't done anything with my hair.
"Rough morning?" He asked me as the flight attendant started giving instruction like they always do. I've road a plane way to many times.
"Rough life." I replied.
He frowned.
"I'm a good listener."
I hesitated for a moment thinking back to the last time I was here in the Salt Lake Airport when I went and got coffee for the first time at Starbucks and a guy came up to me wanting to talk, probably get my number. I didn't let him though pretty much telling him to beat it.
But for some reason this time was different.
"You don't have to tell me, if you don't wanna." The guy said leaning back in his seat. I guess he was taking my silence for an answer.
"No I think it might help if I tell someone." I said slowly as if I was unsure.
"Alright start from the very beginning." He said.
I took a deep breath.
"That would make it a long story." I warned.
"I've got time." He smirked.
And so I did. I started from the very beginning telling him how my mother was giving me three months to go have fun and explore the world and I decided to go visit my brother who had ran away a couple years ago. While I was here on this beautiful ranch I met a boy. And things between me and this boy grew into more than a friendship and pretty soon we were sharing kisses when ever we were alone. Sneaking into each other's rooms at night. Until finally we decided to tell his family and my brother from then on out it was the same stories you here. It was like the honeymoon stage of the relationship where everything was just perfect nothing could possibly go wrong.
Until my mother found out who then came all the way back to Utah to take me home. But I didn't want to leave this boy because it was the hardest thing in the world I had ever had to do so I left him a note explaining everything. Then I moved on to the two years of my boring business life which didn't take more than a minute to explain since it was -well boring-. Finally telling this complete stranger how my brother got engaged and wanted me to help plan his wedding and come to find out that boy that I had been in love with oh so long ago has a girlfriend and just recently purposed.
"In the end my brother knew about it and never thought it was important to tell me. And now I'm right back to square one crying over a guy who hasn't ever cried over me."
The guy -I still have yet to learn his name- was silent.
Then he let out a low whistle.
"And I thought I had it bad."
"Yeah, so now I'm heading back to New York trying to clear my head."
"Well your going to go back for your brothers wedding aren't you?" He asked his eyebrows furrowing together.
I thought for a movement before shrugging.
"I really don't know."
The guy nodded turning to face forward.
"Well you got to do what you go to do." He replied. "I'm sure things will turn around here shortly."
"I'm not so sure." I replied shaking my head.
"Well if you say that then it won't, why can't you be a little ostomistic." He grinned.
"I don't know if I can."
"Sure you can, say that thing will all turn out fine."
I shook my head.
"Say it."
"Things will all turn out fine." I mumbled.
"What was that?" He said cupping his hand around his ear.
"Things will all turn out fine." I shouted.
He grinned.
"Better."
I laughed shoving his shoulder and ignoring the dirty looks I got from fellow passengers for just shouting on the plane.
I was about to ask for this guys name when the flight attendant asked for everyone's attention as she announced we where about to land.
I looked out the window and saw New York City. I want to be happy. I mean I was home away from Cody away from Tate. But there was no way I was getting out of this bad mood.
Once the plane landed and I unbuckled myself from the seat I stood to grab my bag but the guy whom I still don't know his name already got it for me.
"You've never told me why you were here." I questioned.
His smile faded.
"Funeral." He replied.
I frowned.
"I'm sorry, but remember-
"Things will turn out fine." He grinned. "I know and so should you."
With that he spun on his heel in the isle and walked off the plane and that was the last I saw of him.
Once I gathered all my bags and met Troy with my car. I had called him a head of time and just like the great friend he was he was right on time.
"Thank you so much." I said giving him a small hug as I helped him load my bags into my car.
He offered to drive and I let him. Climbing into the passenger seat and taking my phone off airplane mode I was surprised to see ten missed call from Tate and a bunch of text messages saying sorry fifteen missed calls from Jane, and two voicemails from Cody.
With shaky hands I opened his voicemail bringing it to my ear.
"Hey Emma, we need to talk. So if you could please call me back."
I frowned wishing it was more as I pressed play to the other one.
"Don't you think this is a little childish. We have been broken up for two years I think it's time for both of us to move on. And I'm trying here really I am but I can't when you act like this."
My frowned deeper and I shut off my phone angry. Tory must of noticed because he glazed over at me curious.
"I hate Cody Clarke." Was all that needed to be said.