I laugh, I don't know why but I laugh at his words, at the ridiculousness of them.
He stares at me passively smirking, "I am glad you find it amusing, Leyla."
I frown my mirth gone. "Seriously what do you want?"
"I told you...You."
I glare at him, my expression telling him fully well that I have no time for his games.
Just as he is about to speak again, Jules makes an appearance with my lunch.
"Deli sandwich and chocolate muffin for you Miss Lev--" Jules chides in, handing me my plate, however she stops once she casts her eyes towards Matthew.
"Hi." Matthew grins at her, a smile that doesn't reach his eyes before he moves back to staring at me.
I ignore him as the hunger sets in and I give my full attention to my meal.
"H-hi," She stutters and clears her throat. "What can I get you?"
I gape at her. This was a first. She never stutters or falters when it comes to customers.
I watch her stare nervously at him but the gleam I catch in her eyes, tell me fully well that she is attracted to him.
"I'll have what she's having." Matthew answers her, glancing briefly at her before going back to staring me.
"I'm trying to eat."
"And?"
"Can you not stare at me," I glare at him.
He chuckles and my glare increase.
"Why are you even here, Matthew, are you following me? Why is your agenda always to ruin my day?" I lose it.
He frowns in thin air, looking away.
"Can I ask you something?" He asks.
I huff in fury, "What?"
He looks back at me, and I catch something in his eyes, a distant refrained longing.
"If...if it had been me on that night you met my brother, would you have..." He doesn't finish his sentence but I know exactly what he is referring to.
It is my turn to look away.
However, Jules appears again and I smile gratefully at her for her distraction.
I don't answer him because he knows fully well what my answer will be?
In truth, I would have gone with whoever would have paid me afterwards.
"Thank you." He smiles at Julie and I hear her inaudible gasp. If I weren't so tuned out by anger for him, I think I would have found this amusing.
He eats his share as I finish mine and Julie reluctantly moves to serve another customer.
I feel bad, I should have made introductions.
I feel his burning stare at my face.
"Would you?" He asks again.
I look at him, trying to gauge his state of approach. What exactly is his game this time?
"What do you want me to say, Matthew?" I hiss at him.
"That yes, I would have? That yes, I would have went with any man that night? Is that what you want me to admit? That yes, I was so low and desperate I would consider prostitution!" My anger palpitates, and I don't realize there are tears in my eyes until they dribble in my hand.
I stand up quickly avoiding his eyes, and slightly affronted look.
I storm away from him once I finish eating. I am about to walk out of the door when I walk right into a hard shoulder.
I look up and I am met with those snake-like yellowish brown eyes. The same eyes I saw that night at 'Whore station' corner.
I gasp, fiercely wiping my eyes and I am about to move away to make way for him when,
"Leyla!?" I will never forget that voice.
"Leyla? Oh my, it is you." Sav screeches next to him and instantly she pulls me into a constricting hug! I smell her cheap perfume.
I barely manage to greet her when she's off with her next sentence.
"Oh wow, look at you." She twirls a strand of my hair and strokes the five hundred dollar satire lace dress I'm wearing.
"You look good!" Her eyes sparkle at me and I catch a hidden remark that says, how did she get this?
"Leyla? As in Monica's distant cousin?" The skinny man with the yellow eyes speaks.
Sav smirks at me before she turns to him, "Yes Devon. Leyla."
Devon only snorts and then casts those eerily looking eyes all over me, but before I could shiver coldly, I relax when I feel a familiar body hovering behind me.
"Mis-Leyla?" I hear Mitch's concerned voice behind me.
I turn to him, with a reassuring smile on my face, but I know with my puffy eyes--from the earlier tears that escaped because of my stupid anger--that he is far from convinced.
"Well, well, if it isn't the man himself." Sav says near me, her eyebrows crooking up.
At first I am confused but then I realise that she must assume that Mitch is Jeremy, the man who whisked me away from that night.
Mitch frowns when she gazes at him.
"Leyla?" Julie is next me in an instant.
Her eyes cast worriedly at the obscenely over-dressed couple in front of me. Sav has on a corset which barely conceals her chest; black fashionable ripped stockings with her high booted stilettos. Her floor-length fur jacket only manages to hide most of her skin.
Devon, has on an gold suit which brings out his eyes and dark brown skin.
"Are you okay?" Julie asks me.
I only manage to nod at her.
Seeing them, Sav and him has brings in some unwanted memories.
"Well, Leyla enjoy him while he lasts." Sav winks at me before pulling Devon towards the interior, away from all of us. Devon looks suspicious as he glances between me and Mitch. I also catch something in his eyes. Something I shouldn't and that look chills me to the bone.
"Leyla? What's going on?" Mathew asks.
Why is everyone calling my name today?
I ignore Matthew and turn to the nervous looking Julie whose lusting eyes are inwardly swooning at the sight of him.
"Julie, I have to go." I tell her, moving to hug her.
"His name is Matthew and he's Jeremy's brother by the way," I whisper to her for her ears only as I break away from embrace.
She has a blush on her face and her eyes are inquisitively asking me if her attraction for him is obvious.
I reluctantly nod at her, giving her a small smile.
She shakes her head blushing again, as she bides me adieu. I watch her glance briefly at Matthew before turning my gaze to Mitch.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
Seriously who else is going to ask me this question?
In truth, I am still trying to process the unexpected meeting I just had, as well as my earlier outburst at Matthew.
"Can you take me home?" I ignore his question.
"Of course." He says as he leads me out of the door, out of Matthew's pressing presence.
Once I am outside I falter for a moment. Home?
Have I just really referred Jeremy's home as mine absentmindedly?
I mentally slap myself at how I am getting comfortable with this whole arrangement.
Yes I love him, so much in fact that he is home to me. But does he feel the same?
Does he even love me?
Here you go again. My inner voice chides in. He has repeatedly mention how you are the only one he wants.
Maybe it's meeting Matthew and that unexpected encounter that has reminded me how I have come to know Jeremy in the first place. How all I have now is all because of him, all because I decided one night I will give myself to a stranger.
In truth, it has been the best decision I have ever made, it lead me to Jeremy.
I miss him now and I want his reassurance that he cares about me.
At this moment as Mitch leads us to the car, I realise all my fears.
Jeremy not wanting me anymore.
I can't even begin to imagine the state I will be in if he decided to get rid of me. If I lose him.
The very thought is abhorrent and it chills me to the bone.
"Leyla...wait!" Matthew's voice speaks behind us.
I look back to see him running after us.
"My answer is no." He catches up to me and then looks at Mitch pressingly.
My guess is that he knows Mitch is security.
I realise that Mitch is hovering behind me, his guard up for the first time as he looks at Matthew.
"It's okay Mitch; he is Mr Lawson's brother." I tell him.
He frowns momentarily and then shrugs as he moves away, giving us privacy.
Matthew is gazing intently at me and I frown.
He takes a huge breath. "My answer is no, I don't want you to admit it, because you are not that. You are not a prostitute or any other profanities I have ever called you by."
I gape at him. Have I heard him right?
What is this, an apology?
"Yes, this is an apology," he answers and I realise I must've spoken my thought out loud.
"I am sorry for offending you, for accusing of all those things at the charity party but mostly for being inappropriate since the first time I met you."
I gasp, completely rendered speechless.
"The truth is I wanted you. I wanted you for the first time I laid eyes on you in that apartment and you have tormented me since then." His voice lowers at the end.
I frown at his accusation but inside I am reeling and still trying to process what he is telling me.
He wanted me? How? Why?
"I know my actions were uncalled for and well I was so caught with this ...this... I longed to torment you too, I didn't realise I was hurting you in the process and well..." He breathes.
"That day when Jerry came and I realised that he had you first...well I almost lost it. Why him again? Why was it always him that got to have everything... I realised that in order to stop this...this thing I had for you..." He flails his hand to his stomach.
"Well if felt good downgrading you, if felt better. But, I know deep inside I was only doing to make Jeremy think twice about you and to make him leave you so that....well so that you'd be mine instead... I know how selfish and childish this makes me sound. But at the time I wasn't thinking... My thoughts were deranged whenever I was around you."
He stops looking at me to see if I am still listening.
At this rate, my breath has been knocked out of me. I can't comprehend... I am trying to understand what he is trying to tell me.
"Matthew I'm in love with your brother." I tell him, confessing my feelings out loud for the first time even though he isn't the person I want to confess them to.
It's the only thing I can think of telling him...to make him understand that it would never happen between us.
He sighs, "I know."
What?
"You...know?" I am shocked.
How?
He nods. "One look at you with him and no will doubt it."
I twist my fingers together, trying to look for something to say to him, anything to say.
"Look, I'm sorry--"
He holds his hands up, "Stop right there....what are you apologising for? It's me who is trying to apologise here."
My lips twitch into small smile.
He moves closer to me takes my hand. "From now on, I will leave you alone. I know I shouldn't even be having these feelings for you since...well you belong to my brother and I've hurt him before, many times with my actions. And it has taken me seeing you with him to make me realise this."
He swallows. "In other words, even though I was blinded with my jealousy and self-arrogant pride, I realised how happy you made him. I mean, I've never seen him that happy in such a long time and it has mostly been my fault and selfish reasons...So, as well as an apology, I want to thank you also."
I smile genuinely at him for the first time since I met him.
"You don't have to thank me...I think you need to talk to Jeremy and sort it out with him. I know deep down he loves you." I tell him.
He looks at me warily. "Do you think so? I wouldn't love me after what I did to him."
"You had your reasons, and if you explain them to him, maybe he'll understand. Matthew, you are still his big brother to him." I reassure him.
He smiles genuinely. "You are a good person Leyla, Jeremy deserves you. Can I apologise again?"
I shake my head but I smile kindly at him.
"Matthew, you sort of shown me my fears...with your words... you actually made me stronger, you made realise that I can be better than that."
"They weren't the truth though. I was out of line when I said them but they weren't the truth." He disagrees.
"It doesn't matter, Matthew. I've had my fair share of the tough life; I know what it is like to not have anything to live for. I admit I almost took my life once before because of this," I confess to him my deepest darkest secret that has been eating me for days.
I don't know what has compelled me to do it but once the words came out, I can't take them back now and I can't stop myself from continuing.
"It actually was Greta who sort of stopped me, and it was through her pity that she took me in...After that I never wanted to go back to that low point of my life. I avoided thinking about... about killing myself at all cost."
"And since I met Jeremy...well all those thoughts disappeared. He gave me... hope...something to live for. I love him more because of it."
"You should tell him this. I may have missed most of my brother's life events, but I know he'd like to hear you say those words to him and what you just told me."
I stare skeptically at him trying to hide how scared I was to admit to Jeremy that I love him.
What if he didn't love me back?
I have never been loved before; no one has ever loved me or wanted me. The woman who gave birth to me didn't want me, the man who owned the foster home didn't want me, the school I attended didn't want me, people in the street I beg to didn't want me; Greta didn't want me either and it's only been Jeremy that has uttered those words.
And now Matthew too.
I am afraid to put my guard down and tell Jeremy, I am afraid of his rejection because he is the only one that holds my delicate heart. He is the only one that can either love it back in return or crush it into pieces.
"Thank you, Leyla, for this for allowing me to apologise, for this talk. And I am keeping to my word; I will never disturb you again." He says, smiling nervously at me.
"You're welcome." I tell him nervously too.
I know that this is a turning point here for the both of us. I am glad he has shared and apologised to me. Deep down I forgive him, but I know I still have my own predicaments to sort out before I fully can allow myself to let him in my life.
"I'll leave you now; I have a muffin to finish." He winks jokingly.
I laugh for his sake, knowing that Julie did catch his eyes too.
I am glad for this and I know this feeling is stemming from the fact that if he gives Julie a chance, then whatever feeling or want he has for me will hopefully fled. Because we both didn't need it.
As I watch him leave, I feel a sense of weight being lifted off my shoulder.
"Home now, Miss...eh Leyla?" Mitch appears.
I smile at him as I nod. I let him open the door for me to enter and once I'm inside I check my phone to receive a picture message from Jeremy showing me his sad puppy face with the caption saying he misses me.
It's that simply text message that wipes some of my earlier fears away and completes my day. I grin at my phone as I snap a picture of myself to reply him.
***
Later that evening, I take a bath, soothing my skin with the suds from the bath oils. One of Jeremy's playlist plays in the background and I am talking to the man himself on my phone.
In the screen, he is in his hotel room, the light dimly lit to catch the rays of his messy chestnut brown hair, and those dark lustful eyes of his which affect even through a screen.
"Don't touch yourself..." His voice is husky and in the screen he licks his lips.
"Jeremy." I whine, knowing fully well how heavily turned on I was just from his earlier manifestation. Even through the phone he dominated me.
"Not until I say so," he grins snidely and then sighs. "I miss you so much."
"I miss you too; it's been a long day."
"I'm going to make it longer," he says sultrily.
"Show me your neck."
I giggle, moving my phone downwards so that the front camera catches the skin of my neck.
"Hmm," he hums sexily.
"Imagine me there right now touching the base of your chin and moving down..."
My breath catches, my heart stops only for it to palpitate roughly in a fast endearing pace again.
"...to your collar bone, the skin on your chest. My lips replacing my hands now..."
I gasp his name, closing my eyes imagining and feeling exactly what his sexy voice is doing to me.
"...My lips kissing that valley between your breasts, my hands tweaking your nipples..." His breaths become laboured.
My nipples hardens in response to his seduction and I feel them responding eagerly with the warmth water.
"Ahh..." I gasp.
"You feel it?" Jeremy asks
"Yes..." My fingers are itching to touch my body, to relief it from this wanton throbbing inside me.
"Leyla..."
"Hmm?" I close my eyes.
"You're about to drop your phone in the water," he chuckles.
I snap out of my trance straightening my hand to hold my phone out of the water.
Jeremy is laughing in the screen and I rejoice at the brightness of his features from his mirth.
"Ahh... perfect angle... I can see how tight your nipples became."
I scold him but I grin at him anyhow.
We both laugh as he tells me about his day and I refrain on telling him about the conversation I had with Matthew, not wanting to ruin this moment. And partly because Matthew himself wants to apologise to Jeremy.
I knew when he got back that they will have a very long heart-to-heart talk together. My heart, for once since knowing their conflict, feels slightly at peace at impending resolution in their relationship.
"The water is getting cold." I complain.
He smiles, "Then get out."
"I don't want to drop your call," I explain.
"So you'd rather freeze than stop talking to me?" He asks astonished.
I nod. "Yes."
He grins. "Sounds like you have it bad, Leyla Levy."
"You have no idea how bad, Jeremy Lawson." I grin back as I allow myself to admit this; it's not fully admitting all my feelings for him but this small confession doesn't kill.
He shakes his head, "Get out of the water, Leyla. I don't want you to get hypothermia," he tries to sound serious.
I giggle.
"Ah the merriment of that sound."
"What sound?" I ask confused.
"Your laugh."
I smile shyly.
"I mean it Leyla. Get out. Call me when you are all cozied up in warm sheets of our bed." He grins.
I catch how he mentions "our bed" and inwardly my heart expands and swoons.
"Sir, Yes, sir."
"If only I was there with you and you'd be screaming an apology for that remark you just pulled." His words holds a promise and my insides tighten and liquidate.
I swallow. "I call you later." My voice is a whisper, husky.
"You better." He grins knowing how he just owned me in so many levels.
"Bye, baby." I grin.
I catch the surprise and frown that pulls on his face at my endearment for him.
I laugh and hang up the phone not giving him any time to respond.
I dry myself off quickly smiling to myself as I saunter to his adjoined master bedroom whilst towel drying my hair.
I flop on the bed with my phone in hand and I cocoon myself in the warm sheets, trying to hide the fact that this will the first time sleeping in this bed without him present.
I execute the thought with the fact that I will have his face on my phone all night if have to, depending whether he is free tomorrow or not.
Whatever the case, all that matters to me at the moment is the knowledge that the love of my life still wants me even through all these miles of separation.
...........................
Oh...oh I smell an ending coming so soon.
Thank you guys for being patient with me and motivating me to keep writing.
Thank you for sticking by with this story.
-Lia x