Dedicated to book-of-Charlie for the masses of help she's given me on this story.
"Seriously, Sam, how did you manage to leave shoes behind?" Jess repeated, laughing.
"You are so lucky Sarah's boyfriend is in your old dorm"
Sam grinned at the girl beside him. His friend, Berny, had introduced them a few weeks ago and he was really starting to like her.
"I know, I know, but in my defence, they weren't the shoes I was wearing. I had another pair that I remembered to bring, like, on my feet"
"Still...." she said with another giggle.
"I know, I know. Thank you for bringing them"
"You are so lucky I like you"
"I know. What would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn"
***
"Thank you so much, what would I do without you?!" Sam exclapimed as the girl handed him the essay he had left in the library.
She giggled. "Crash and burn, obviously"
He laughed. "True, true. I've lost count of the amount of times you've saved my ass"
"Probably at least fifty"
"More, definitely."
"You're probably right"
***
"Hey....uh....Jess? Can I....uh...ask you something?"
"Yeah, course"
"Willyou...uh...willyougooutwithme?" He said, almost unintelligibly.
She looked confused for a second and he awkwardly opened his mouth to repeat himself, but something clicked and she broke into a grin.
"Of course I will, you idiot"
He looked completely shocked at her saying yes.
"Although seriously, speak slower in future. I had no idea what you were saying"
"Oh...uh....okay?"
She laughed. "You're adorable"
"Uh...thanks? Is that a good thing? I think it is but you can't be -"
"Hush, it is a good thing" she said, cutting him off with a finger to his lips and a giggle.
"What would I do without you?" He said, lips spreading into a wide smile.
"Crash and burn"
***
"Today was really nice, thank you" Jess said with a beautiful smile.
"No, it wasn't. They messed up our reservation and when we finally did get a table, the food was crap"
"It was, wasn't it" she said with a little laugh.
"I am really sorry, Jess, that was a terrible first date"
"I wouldn't say that. The food was shit but the company was amazing" she said with a grin. "Although i do expect you to up the standard a bit next time"
Sam looked up in shock, having been convinced that the failure of the date would have ruined his chances with her.
"Next - oh, what would i do without you, Jess?"
"Crash and burn"
***
"Hey, Jess?" Sam said as soon as she picked up the phone.
"What've you forgotten?" She replied immediately.
"Folder." She grinned. He was so predictable.
"I'll ask at the desk"
"You're a lifesaver"
He heard her walk up to the desk and ask the librarian something - evidently about his folder. A few moments later she spoke again.
"Got it"
"Thank god. What would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn"
***
"You can't just not dress up!"
"Why not?"
"It's a Halloween party! Don't tell me you never celebrated Halloween as a kid?"
"Uh....no...?"
"How?!" She looked shocked, then shrugged. "Okay then, first Halloween. Let's make it the best ever"
He shrugged half heartedly. "I should really be studying. I mean, I need to pass all my exams if I wanna go to law school"
One look at her face told him that staying home and studying was not an option.
"Why am I letting myself be talked into this?" He asked helplessly, but he changed track when he saw his costume.
"You, Jessica Moore, are a godsend"
"You like it?"
"I love it." He didn't even need to ask their question - they both already knew the answer.
***
Jess laughed loudly as she pulled Sam across the outdoor ice rink, ignoring his protests of "stop" and "too fast" and "we'll fall"
Eventually he losened up and started to enjoy it too: First racing her from one side to the other, then skating beside her, gloved hand in gloved hand, and stopping skating at random moments just to spin her into his arms and kiss her.
Eventually, as they were sitting on the bench beside the ice, clutching burning polestyrene cups of hot chocolate in cold, mittened hands, skate clad feet touching, he turned to her.
"Hey, Jess?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I might love you."
"I think I might love you too"
***
"Hey Jess?"
"Yes, I have your wallet"
"How did you -?"
"I've started asking the librarian before I leave whenever you have an exam coming up"
"I'm not that forgetful"
"When you're focused on revision, you are"
"True, true."
"Anyway, I'll drop your wallet round at your dorm on the way"
"Thank god. What would I do without you?"
"Oh, Crash and Burn" she replied with a grin
***
"Hey, uh, Jess? I was wondering if you'd like to...uh...get a flat? You know, together?"
He was obviously flustered - he'd been second thinking it all day, not sure whether he was moving too fast or whether she would even want to.
"I mean, only if you want to. If not, that's fine too. I mean, it's your choice. But I want to" he added quickly. "I'm not just saying it. But yeah, it's your choice. Only if you're ready and -"
She cut him off with a kiss to the lips.
"Shut up, Sam, I'd love to"
"Really?"
"Yes, of course!"
He sighed happily. "What would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn"
***
When Sam led Jess up the steps to their new house, he was insanely nervous. What if it was too big, not her style, too serious?
He'd said a flat, after all, and the smallish house was rather larger than that. Perhaps it was too much, and he had taken it too far.
"Do you like it?" He asked cautiously, after showing her round, awaiting her answer with bated breath.
"Sam, I love it!"
He sighed in relief. "Thank god. I was worried."
She laughed softly. "No need to be worried around me. I love it and I love you."
"I love you too, Jess"
"I know"
***
"Uh...Jess....there's something i should probably tell you"
She immediately looked worried.
"Oh, It's not bad! Well, it is, but its not new and bad. I haven't done anything, if that's what you're worried about"
She gave a relieved smile, but now seemed intrigued.
"And I really didn't want to tell you this, but...but you have a right to know"
She nodded slowly.
"But basically...well...uh...how to put this?...basically....."
"Sam" she interrupted.
"...there are..... we spent our childhood....no....uh.......our dad was a hunter but....."
"Sam!" She repeated louder, and he glanced up at her, surprised, stopping talking.
"If you don't want to tell me, then it's fine. It can wait. One day, if you want to, I'm open to listen, but you shouldn't feel you have to tell me anything you aren't comfortable with" she said simply, but decisively, and he felt a huge smile spread over his face. Sure, she might think he was trying to tell her he was abused or an orphan or something, but he would tell her the truth eventually - when they were older and he was more comfortable with it.
"What would i do without you, Jess?" He asked, his eyes shining with unshed tears of relief.
"Crash and burn" she replied softly, pressing her lips to his.
"Crash and burn" he echoed, before kissing her.
***
When Sam walked into the first ring shop, he had no idea what he wanted. When he walked out, he still didn't know.
It was in the fifth shop that he saw it. A simple, thin band of silver with three small, understated diamonds set one side, equal distances apart.
He bought it, wincing at the price, and silently thanking his brother for the rather generous birthday present he'd sent last - no doubt the product of multiple credit card scams.
He payed extra to have it engraved, then walked out of the shop with the box in his pocket.
He glanced at the ring again before Jess got home that night, at the beautiful calligraphy inside the band.
Crash and burn.
***
Sam glanced at the small bulge the ring box made in his coat pocket, where it hung on the door. He had booked a restaurant and was it was all planned out - he would propose tomorrow.
He had spent ages in the mirror, trying to figure out what to say - from long speeches to a sudden 'will you marry me'.
Eventually he'd settled on the only thing that really made sense.
"Jessica Moore, what would I do without you?"
***
"Hey, Jess"
"Hey, Sammy. You having a good time with your brother?"
"...you could say that."
"Well, uh...I hope you come home soon"
"I will, Jess. I promise."
"Okay" he could almost hear her smile.
"What would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn. I love you, call again soon"
"Of course. I love you too. Bye, Jess"
"Bye, Sammy"
He sighed after the call ended. He should have proposed when he had the chance, instead of nervously putting it off for months.
He missed her now, and once again was regretting not proposing when it was easy, when he'd been planning it. When he got back, he'd take her out, and then he'd ask her.
***
Sam wiped away a tear as he stared at the spot where Jess's empty coffin had been buried.
He had tried to speak at the service, but words had failed him. Now, he stood alone, still in the funeral suit, with flowers, her favourites, clutched in his hand.
"What will I do without you, Jess?" He asked, but there was no reply other than the soft whisper of wind in the nearby trees.
Crash and burn