"There's nothing you can do?"
"Nothing. I'm sorry."
Brielle concentrated on her mother's hand, firmly wrapped around her own. She had nice fingers, long, skinny, delicate. Her wedding ring was beautiful too... or at least that's what Brielle remembered. She tuned out the sound of the grim optometrist's voice and let her mind wander. She was rarely surprised when the doctors told her that her eyes could never be fixed.
"Let's go," her father suggested in a low voice. "Thank you for your time." Brielle automatically stood up, slightly disoriented, and allowed her mother to guide her to the door.
"That's okay," her mother said, determined. "We can't let this stop us. I know the name of a good doctor in New York, maybe we should make an appointment to fly out next week." Brielle fought to tune out the voice of her mother too. She just wanted to go home.
"Bree, honey, come here for a moment." Her mother called from the kitchen. Brielle froze with one foot on the stair and cursed silently under her breath. She shuffled into the kitchen, trailing a hand on the wall to help guide her. She could hear her father's slow, heavy tapping on the floor and her mother nervously swirling her coffee cup. Damn. This must be serious.
She slipped into the seat in front of them and tried to keep a straight face, waiting in suspense. After a few moments of silence, her father spoke up.
"Brielle, it's about time that we got serious."
"Serious with what?"
"Life," he said simply. "These last few years have been very, very difficult for you. No matter how hard you try to hide it, we know that you've lost all your old friends. You can't keep up at school because you refuse to let anyone help you, and you never do anything for fun anymore."
Brielle kept a stony silence. She hated it when her parents tried to interfere in her life.
"If you're just going to lecture me, I’m leaving." She half-rose, but her mother broke in.
"Brielle, we didn't call you in to lecture you, we called you here to help you."
"You're not helping me by reminding me what my life used to be like!" Brielle slammed her fist onto the counter. "I know, okay? I know that my life sucks now, but there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it!"
"But there are things we can do," her mother intercepted. "Classes! Like, like painting class, remember how much you enjoyed painting when you were younger?"
Brielle snorted. "It's a little hard to enjoy painting when you can't see the canvas sitting in front of you."
"There are other things," her mother was getting desperate now. "What about sports?"
Brielle's mouth fell open. "Are you kidding me? Mom! How the hell do you expect me to play sports? I can't see a ball, I can't see any teammates, I can't see what's going on!"
"Okay, well, that's not all," Brielle's mom kept going. "Brielle, there are thousands of people in the world that are blind like you. It's not the end of the world."
"Yeah?" Brielle breathed hard. "Well, before I got blind, my whole world was my art, my friends and sports. I don't have any of that now. I think I can say that the world has ended."
"What about your family?" She felt a soft, cool hand touching her own. "We're still here, Bree." Brielle felt unexpected tears sparking in her eyes.
"Yeah. Right." Her voice was tight. "Whatever. I'm leaving." She got up, letting the chair scrape harshly against the floor. Ignoring the calls of her parents, she took off.
And she cried.
"Have fun!" Her mother called enthusiastically. Brielle didn't even bother to make a sarcastic remark. She kept a poker face as she climbed out of the car.
"Don't forget your cane!"
"No thank you." Brielle snapped out.
"But honey, you need your cane-"
"No I don't." Brielle retorted firmly. "I'll be fine." The first step into being normal again was to ditch that stupid cane. Everyone steered clear of her when she used her cane, as if a single touch would infect them with the "terrible disease" that Brielle carried. No, the cane would have to go.
She felt strangely naked walking up the large pathway to get to the school. She tripped on a step, forgetting that it would be there. Maybe it was a dumb idea to leave her cane in the car. With a shock of fear, she realized that she couldn't remember where the doors were.
Crap.
The last thing she wanted people to feel was pity. There was no way she was asking anyone for help. So then what?
As nonchalantly as possible, she walked more slowly and tried to feel out her surroundings. If she stretched out her arm as far as possible without appearing too weird, she could feel... the wall! She sidled closer and let her fingers touch the comforting brick. Much better. If she followed the wall, she was bound to get closer to the doors... right?
She walked and walked and as she did, the murmur of people's voices got louder and louder. Fairly certain that she was going in the right direction, she let herself relax a bit.
Suddenly, she found herself surrounded by people. Lots and lots of people, everywhere. She lost her touch on the wall as more people enveloped her, suffocating her. Ah, she was at the doors. It seemed like practically half the school was trying to cram through the two doors at the same time, but this didn't freak her out that much. She went through this every day. That ordeal had been relatively pain-free. The familiar smell of hairspray and perfume, mixed with the overpowering scent of cologne made her feel like puking. She breathed in and out with her mouth as she walked the same path as she did everyday. This wasn't that bad. She didn't need her cane for this...
"Oof! Watch it!" She snapped as someone bumped into her. Just a few seconds later, she felt another rough shove against her left shoulder. Without her cane, people seemed to have forgotten about her disability. She was bumped left to right and lost complete track of her location. She struggled to count the number of steps she had taken since the front door, but as she stumbled left and right, the number became jumbled. She wasn't even sure what part of the school she was in anymore.
Wasn't this what she wanted?
Someone behind her stepped on her heel, nearly taking her sneaker off.
No. No, it wasn't. As much as she wanted to be normal, she knew her situation was not something that could be ignored. Jostled from all sides and completely overwhelmed by an overload of senses and noises, Brielle stopped walking completely.
At that moment, she realized that attempting to forget her blindness was ridiculous. She wasn't an average high school student, and she couldn't pretend that her blindness didn't affect her everyday life. Ignorance wasn't going to bring healing. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been.
She felt her throat closing up with panic and tears threatened to spill over. Frantically, she started elbowing through the crowd until her fingers met cool brick. Clinging to that one spot like an anchor, she stopped and caught her breath, wondering what on earth she was going to do next. Even in this situation, her pride stopped her from calling out for help. She clung closer to the wall and breathed softly. She would just wait until the crowd dissipated, and then she would search for some sort of landmark. If she could find the trophy case, her locker would be a mere ten steps away. God, she hadn't realized how helpful the stupid cane had been.
Few minutes later, the din died down and she was able to pick out individual voices.
"Are you okay?" A low voice caught Brielle's attention. "I... um... saw you standing here by yourself..."
"I'm fine." she snapped. "Go away."
"Okay."
The abruptness forced her to pause.
"Wait," she demanded, annoyed. "Come back." She gritted her teeth.
"Lead me to the office?"
The pair shuffled unceremoniously in the direction Brielle hoped was the main office. He was silent, except for his short, fast breaths and quick footsteps, signs of nervousness. He kept one hand gingerly on Brielle's wrist. She didn't bother to tell him she could follow him easily by the sound of his breathing. She figured he was embarrassed enough as it was.
Voices trickled away and doors shut with a slam, until the hallway was completely quiet.
"Don't you have class?" she asked curiously.
"Yeah."
“Shouldn’t you be there right now?”
“Probably.”
They lapsed into silence again.
Brielle felt a sudden change under her feet as the floor changed from tile to carpet. As they entered the office, she could hear the somewhat comforting sounds of keyboards clacking and low voices murmuring, accompanied with the scent of coffee. The boy led her forwards until she felt the smooth wood counter under her hands.
“What can I do for you?” A kind voice asked.
“Can I use the phone?”
Brielle sat back in the plush seats, running her fingers over the tiny grooves and ridges in the fabric. She could hear the same quick breathing from the boy, sitting two feet away from her.
“Are you still here?” She asked, not so much because she wasn’t sure, but because she wanted to acknowledge his presence.
“Yeah.” He mumbled.
“Oh.”
She twiddled her fingers, suddenly uncomfortable.
“What’s your name?” she asked, realizing that she didn’t even know after all this time. Silly, really, he was missing class for her and she didn’t even know what his name was.
“Nathan.” He said after a pause. “Webber. Nathan Webber.”
The name was unfamiliar. “I’m Brielle.” she replied.
“I know.” He retorted sharply, and inhaled sharply. “I mean – I’ve heard of you before.”
“I get it. I’m not exactly low profile.” Brielle muttered and leaned back.
“That’s not what I meant –”
“Brielle!” Her mother’s sharp voice interrupted Nathan. Her crushing arms surrounded Brielle until she could barely breathe.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry that happened, I should have know better than to let you go out of the car without your cane –”
“Mom, calm down,” Brielle writhed. “It wasn’t that bad. I just need my cane, Jesus.”
“Sorry. I’m sorry. Here.” A rubber handle was thrust into her hand and she enclosed her fingers around the comforting object.
“Oh Brielle, are you sure you’re okay?” Her mom fretted. “You know, maybe school isn’t a good idea today, you’re so stressed out already. You should come home with me and maybe you can lie in bed for a while. Maybe we can rent some movies, how about that?”
Brielle’s temper sparked. “Okay, I’m really confused, mom. Yesterday, you got all up in my face and told me to start living my life again. Today, you want me to come home with you so I can lay in bed and watch movies instead of going back to school. What do you want me to do?”
There was a long silence.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Brielle’s mother apologized profusely. “I just – I love you. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Brielle felt colour rush into her cheeks as her mom embraced her one last time.
“Do you want me to lead you back?”
“No.” She responded quickly. “I’m fine. I can make it. Bye mom.”
She waited until the muffled footsteps left the office before standing up.
“Do you, uh, need help?” Nathan offered.
“You’re still here?” Another blush rose to her cheeks.
“Yeah.”
“Um. Okay. I have to stop by my locker and then go to Mr. Evans’ English class.” She didn’t tell him that she had the exact steps from the office to her locker memorized. His company was, well, kind of pleasant.
“Okay.” Carefully, Nathan took Brielle’s free hand. She began sweeping the cane in the motion she was so used to.
“Thank you, by the way.” Brielle ducked her head. “No one in this school has talked to me for a long time.” Her confession seemed to catch the boy off guard.
“No problem,” Nathan said, relief apparent in his voice. “Wanna eat lunch together?”
“What?” Stunned, Brielle stopped walking.
“Never mind.” Nathan said quickly.
“No, no. I’ll eat lunch with you.” Brielle replied with a small smile.
“Your locker is right here.” Nathan drew her fingers to her combination lock.
“I can handle it from here. Thanks.” Brielle felt nearly shy. “I’ll see you later, then.”
It was only after she had opened her locker that she realized that she hadn't told Nathan where her locker was. Incredulity and suppressed delight rose within her as she closed the door.
Maybe things would finally look up after all.
A/N: Hi! Wow, an update, finally! It's been what... six months? The last few months were really tough, but I'm determined to keep writing. I'm not totally happy with this chapter, I don't know if my characters are acting the way I want them to, but an update is better than none, right? I'm also having a bit of trouble knowing exactly how long each chapter will be, but that's something I'll work out later once I continue writing this story.
Anyway, thank you for reading and please leave me any comments that you might have!