Pairing: Jared Leto x GenderNeutral!Reader
Request: Can you make a Jared imagine where y/n is a famous singer and they broke up a few months ago. Thank you! I looove your work!
Thanks so much anon ^-^
Words: 3,117
Warnings: Swearing
"Thank you." You smiled to the barista as she handed you your two drinks. You had come to your favorite cafe to grab a drink before you headed to the studio to start recording your new song. You had been working on the lyrics to the song for months and now it was time to do some sound tests and see what fit the mood to the lyrics best.
For the past three months, you had been working on putting yourself back together after a nasty break up with your boyfriend of a year. You had thought things were going great between you and Jared, but according to him, the fire wasn't there anymore. Of course, this broke your heart and you allowed yourself to sulk around for a few days before deciding you needed to get on with your life. Yes, you loved him, but he didn't feel the same anymore. You weren't going to let yourself lose control of your life over it.
Instead, you got back up on your feet and decided it was time to start working on some new songs. It had been a while since your last album and you knew your fans would appreciate something new to listen to. However, you didn't want your new song to be slow or sad, so rather than writing a song about going through a break up, you wrote about getting over your stresses; not letting them ruin your day. After all, we decide how we feel.
Walking into the studio, you were greeted by your lead guitarist, Aidan. "Hey! That for me?" He asked, pointing towards the second drink in your hand.
"Yep." You smiled, holding it out to him. It was his favorite iced coffee that he was rarely found without; especially when recording.
"Ah, thanks, man." He grinned as he took the drink and took a quick sip before giving a thumbs up. "You know just how I like it." He motioned his head for you to follow him as the two of you went into the buildings 'green room,' as Aidan called it. It was really just an office that had yet to be claimed by someone who worked at the studio.
"I think everyone does at this point." You chuckled lightly as you entered the small room.
Aidan plopped down on the oddly green colored sofa as you laid out the papers with the lyrics on them on the small coffee table in front of him. As he looked over them, you sat down on the couch next to him, taking a sip of your drink.
After a few moments of silence, Aidan nodded and laid the papers back down on the table. He turned to you with one hand on his leg. "When's the last time you did something fun?" He asked.
You were taken aback slightly by his question. You figured he'd say something about the lyrics. "Um, I don't know. A while. Why?"
"Because, Shannon is having a party tonight and I think you need to get out of your house." He replied with the ghost of a smile.
"I am out of my house." You scowled playfully. "And do you mean Shannon as in Shannon Leto? My ex's brother?" You put emphasis on ex. Aidan knew how the whole thing went down, which is why you had no idea why he was trying to get you to go to his brother's party. Where he was more than guaranteed to be.
"Yes, but, you don't have to talk to him. You can completely avoid him. Just hang out with me and the others. I mean, come on. You can't just sit around all day. Come out with us and have some fun." He put his hand on your shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.
You looked at him for a bit, without any particular emotion on your face. You really didn't want to see Jared. You didn't trust yourself to see Jared. Sure, you didn't have to talk to him and you had been doing great the past few months without him, but you were almost 100% sure that just seeing him in person would cause your façade to come crashing down.
"Please?" He asked, prolonging the 'e.'
"Fine." You sighed. Maybe he was right. Maybe you needed this. To get out. Maybe you'd meet someone who peaked your interest, although you weren't really looking for a relationship at the moment.
"Yes!" He did a mini cheer and you rolled your eyes playfully.
"Come on, let's back to work." You shushed. You silently prayed that things would go well tonight and you'd have a good time.
~
There was a knock at your apartment door and you instantly knew who it was considering he had to call and get your permission to enter the building. Slipping on your shoes, you walked over and opened the door to reveal Aidan. "Ready to go?" He asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be." You shrugged.
"You say that as if something bad's gonna happen." He nudged you with his elbow as the two of you started walking to the lift.
You didn't really reply until you were in the lift and going down to the first floor. "I'm not sure. I mean, I'm glad I'm finally going out, it's just I don't know if I'm ready to see him."
The two of you exited the lift and made your way to the Uber that was already waiting for you. "Look," Aidan began, "I know you guys didn't end on good terms, but you said yourself that you weren't going to let him have that kind of effect on you."
"You're right." You looked down at your hands in your lap. "I know what I said. At the same time I know what I'm like." You sighed. You gave your head a light shake as if to clear it and looked back at Aidan. "You know what? I'm gonna to go to this party, and I'm gonna to have a damn good time. Screw Jared."
"That's the spirit." He smiled and held his hand up for a high five. You laughed before slapping his hand and turning to look out the window at the lights flashing by. You weren't going to let Jared ruin your night.
Arriving at the party, you hopped out and could already hear the music coming from inside. The two of you headed up to the front door and just walked in. Aidan and Shannon were pretty close so Aidan practically lived here anyway.
"Congrats, you managed to get (Y/N) here." You heard a voice say. You turned your head and saw Shannon. You immediately smiled and pulled him in for a hug. You hadn't seen Shannon since you and Jared split, and you felt kind of bad. You had formed a pretty close friendship with him as well, but you didn't want to put him in a situation where he felt he had to choose between the two of you.
"How could I turn down seeing you? How've you been?" You asked as you pulled away.
"Pretty good. Missing my best friend," he said as he poked you, "but pretty good. And you two?" He asked, looking between you and Aidan.
"Working on new music." Aidan spoke up. "Say, is Laura here?" He asked while looking around.
"Ooh, does someone have the hots for a certain model?" You teased as you looked back at him.
"Maybe." He mumbled with a small grin on his face.
You and Shannon stared at him for a moment before he sighed. "Ok, yes? Are you happy now?"
"She's in the kitchen." Shannon nodded in that direction while laughing.
"Thanks. Wish me luck?" He asked, looking at you.
"You don't need it." You winked.
He gave a nervous smile before nodding to you two and walking towards the kitchen. You were happy he had found someone. It had been years since his last relationship and she had cheated on him. Since then he had developed trust issues when it came to relationships, so him finally showing interest was a great sign.
"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in months." You began.
"Let's go outside. It's too loud in here." Shannon said as he lead you towards the backyard. There were fewer people out here and the music, although it could still be heard, was now much quieter.
The two of you sat down in separate chairs before you began to speak again. "Like I was saying, I'm sorry for not talking to you the past couple of months. As I'm sure you know, me and Jared didn't really end on good terms and I didn't want you thinking you had to pick a side."
"It's fine." He shook his head. "I'm glad you decided to come. I figured with Jared being here, you wouldn't step foot in here."
"I wasn't going to, but I mean, just because we broke up doesn't mean I can't see him. And, as Aidan pointed out, I haven't done anything particularly exciting since then." You sighed.
"You wrote a new song." He pointed out.
"I'm working on a new song. I feel like some of the lyrics may change." You corrected. Motion behind Shannon's shoulder caught your attention and you saw the one and only Jared Leto step outside and look around before his gaze stopped on you and Shannon. You quickly averted your own gaze back to Shannon and smiled slightly. "What about you? You guys working on anything new?"
"Well-" he was interrupted by Jared's voice.
"Hey, guys." He spoke lightly.
Shannon looked up at his brother before looking back at you with an expression you couldn't really read. You didn't know if he was trying to urge you to speak or not. You kept your gaze on Shannon, trying your best not to let yourself stare at Jared. The three of you sat without saying anything and you just prayed that one of them one would say something to break the awkward silence.
"(Y/N), could I uh, talk to you? Alone?" You cringed in your mind as Jared asked to speak with you. This isn't what was supposed to happen. You were supposed to avoid him. Have a good time without even thinking of him. Now he wanted to talk to you?
You found yourself nodding and hating yourself for it. You stood up and glanced at Shannon with a terrified look and all you saw in his eyes was sympathy. You followed Jared to a more secluded area of the backyard and sat down in the grass.
You tried your best to avoid eye contact but that seemed to be the only thing Jared wanted. The awkward air only got thicker when the two of you were alone. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what he wanted. Quite frankly, you weren't sure if you wanted to know.
"So," he spoke, "how have you been?" He asked.
"Fine. You?" You replied, still not looking at him, but instead at your fingers that were fiddling with themselves in your lap.
"I've been better." He let out a huff of a laugh, trying to lighten the mood slightly but failing. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "So, um, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing much. I've started writing a new song. Me and Aidan were actually working on that earlier today." You shrugged. "And you?" You asked, finally looking up at him.
"Nothing really. Mostly moping around." He looked down at his lap.
"About what?" You furrowed your brows.
There was a moments pause before he looked back up at you. "You."
You rose your eyebrows. "Me?" He nodded. "Why?"
"Because I miss you?" His voice was soft and unsure. Much calmer than the last conversation you had had with him.
"No." You shook your head. "You don't get to 'miss me.'" You let out a huff of frustration. "Is that why you wanted to talk?"
"Yeah." He nodded slightly. "I want to apologize."
"For what? For breaking my heart? For being a complete ass? For not talking to me in months?" You spat. You didn't know where your sudden anger came from, but you couldn't help but raise your voice a bit.
"It's not completely my fault. You could've called me." He replied calmly while picking at the grass beneath him.
"You broke up with me, Jared. What did you want me to do? Call you and tell you how much I missed you and beg you to come back?"
"No." He looked up at you with his crystal blue eyes that used to make you weak in the knees. "I don't know." He sighed. "(Y/N), these past few months have been hell without you. I can't do anything without thinking about you and I know your pissed at me but-"
"No, Jared." You interrupted. "No."
"I love you, (Y/N)." He went on anyway.
You shook your head before standing up and walking away from him. How dare he say those words to you. After the way he left you. After months of not speaking to you. No calls, texts, nothing. He suddenly wants to make things right and try to get back together? You weren't going to just go running back to his arms just because he was lonely. If he really loved you he wouldn't of just left you the way he did.
"(Y/N)!" You heard him call after you as you walked through the house and out into the front yard. You pulled your phone out, about to call an Uber, when Jared grabbed your phone from your hand.
"Give that back!" You growled as you reached for it. He pulled his hand away and put your phone in his back pocket before holding his hands out in front of him.
"Please, just listen to me. Hear me out?" His face was filled with desperation but you really didn't want to hear it.
"What, Jared? What are you going to say? You miss me? You love me? You're not yourself without me? Please, spare me the clichés." You crossed your arms.
He was silent for a minute, lowering his arms back to his sides. "(Y/N), I broke up with you because I was scared." He spoke. "Things were getting serious and-"
"Things were getting serious? Jared, we had been together for a year. We had moved in together. Things had been serious for a while."
"I know, I know, what I mean is my feelings for you were getting confusing. I'd never felt that way about anyone before. I didn't know what to do-"
"So you broke up with me." You concluded.
"Please, let me speak." He sighed in frustration. "I know I hurt you, and I really am sorry. I know I'm a fucking idiot for doing what I did. I was so in love with you and afraid of it that I left before anything could happen." He stepped closer to you. "I know I sound like a romance novel, but I didn't know what love was until I met you. And I was scared because with both of us working, I was afraid we would grow apart because we wouldn't have time for each other. You were talking about wanting to make a new album soon and me and the guys also wanted to start a new one and I knew it would take up a lot of our time and then we'd both more than likely go on tour and I was scared you'd find someone who actually paid more attention to you." He paused for a moment and placed his hands on your arms. "(Y/N), the truth is I'm just so afraid of losing you. I don't know what I'd do if you found someone else while you were with me."
You were silent for a moment. You knew you loved Jared, but you weren't sure you were ready to go back to him. "J," you didn't look at him as you began to speak, "if you're that afraid of losing me, you don't deserve me." You could see his face fall in the corner of your eye. You turned to look at him and could see the tears forming. "And you're right. We're both working on new stuff and our lives are going to get very busy. We won't have time for a relationship." You pulled his hands off of you and held his wrists with your hands close to your chest. "You breaking up with me was the right choice."
His mouth moved but no words came out. For once, he was at a loss for words. He knew you were right. He closed his mouth and looked down. He moved his hands so he was holding yours. He pulled them up to his face and rested his lips on top of your hands, placing a soft kiss on them. He looked back at you, keeping a tight hold on your hands. "So this is it?"
"It's for the best." You tried to pull away, but he pulled you back and into his arms. Resting one hand on the small of your back and the other on your cheek, stroking your face lovingly with his thumb.
"Can you at least kiss me one last time?"
You didn't respond. You couldn't find your voice as you stared between his beautiful eyes and thin lips. You badly wanted to kiss but didn't want to be the one to initiate it. He took your silence as a yes and slowly leaned towards you, giving you plenty of time to pull away if you wanted. He stopped right before his lips reached yours, as if asking for permission again. You brought one of your hands up to his face and pulled his lips to yours.
The kiss was soft and short lived. Yes, you missed his touch and secretly wished for more, but forced yourself to pull away. You weren't going to let yourself get too involved in it or you knew you wouldn't stop and you'd end up back with him. He was the only one who had that affect on you.
He rested his forehead against yours and let out a small sigh. "I love you." He whispered.
"I love you, too, but we both-"
"I know." He nodded lightly as he pulled his head away from yours. "Here," he said pulling his hand away from your face and grabbing your phone from his back pocket.
"Thank you." You called an Uber and Jared waited with you for him to arrive. The two of you didn't speak as you waited, but it wasn't awkward like before. If anything, it was peaceful.
When the Uber arrived, Jared gave you a hug and opened the door for you. With a final wave, he closed the door and watched as you left. You didn't know what the future had in store for the two of you, but you knew you didn't want that to be the last time you saw him.