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Our forks scrape across our plates at the breakfast table. Silence fills the air, Isaac has barely said a word since that night, and its now our last day in Florida. He hasn't told his mom, and although I can tell she wants to know what happened, she doesn't ask. And Mia is just oblivious to the tension among us, happily munching on her cereal.
I don't think Isaac slept at all last night. He was completely restless. He would toss and turn, talk to himself in his sleep. I would hear a couple sniffles from him now and then, and when I tried to talk to him he didn't respond. I didn't push it, though, because I know exactly how he feels. I've been in the same position. I just wish he would open up to me.
But he remained silent, which I respected. Let him get some air, god knows he needs some time to breathe.
"I was thinking I'd take Mia to the science museum today," Ms. Richards finally breaks the silence. "You two don't have to come. Isaac, you know the city well enough. You and Grace should find something fun to do."
Isaac nods his head. "Okay." Is all he says. He picks at his eggs a few times before sitting up straight, pushing out of his chair, and laying his napkin on the table. "I'm going to go get a shower."
It's as if everything he does is rehearsed. His words come across soft and broken, his movements seem slow and carefully thought out. Ms. Richards looks at me once he walks away, obviously confused.
I bite my lip. "He's on edge about some stuff that happened yesterday," I explain. Before she can ask any more questions, I quickly say, "I better go check on him." And with that, I leave my own plate and rush to the elevators. I see the door closing with him inside, so I quickly tap the up button for the next lift. I tap my foot impatiently until I hear the buzzer and another one opens up. I hurriedly brush past an older woman as she exits, stepping inside and immediately pressing the floor number. I tap my foot impatiently as I wait to stop, then practically jump out, opening our room door and walk inside.
I see Isaac buttoning up the last few buttons on his shirt. He looks up when he sees me, but doesn't say anything. He sits down on the edge of the bed, beginning to put his socks on. I take a seat next to him.
"Isaac–"
"Please, Grace. I don't want to talk about it."
"But you need to," I huff.
He runs a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. "I can't help it if my dad gets under my skin."
"I know that. But you–" I stop and swallow my words, as Isaac's mom walks in. Isaac immediately stands, grabbing his coat.
"Grace and I are going to go explore." He quickly says, grabbing my hand as I scramble to get my purse before he shuts the door on his mom.
I catch up to him, attempting to match his broad footsteps down the hall. "Why are you acting like this?"
We're on the elevator when he turns to me to answer my question. He gently puts his hand on my shoulders. "Grace," He starts. "It's our last day here. And I've been doing some thinking about what you've said and, well, I don't think I should bury my past anymore," The elevator doors open and we walk outside the hotel. "You've told me everything about you. It's only fair I stop hiding."
"What are you talking about?" I ask once we reach the car.
He turns to me, holding my hands tightly.
"We're going to go meet my friends."
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Isaac was anxious the entire way. He was either biting the inside of his cheek or nervously tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.
We eventually reach a house in the middle of a field. It looks fairly old, parts of the wood yellowed and vines growing across the walls. He parks and I get out. I can see silhouettes of people moving through the curtain of a window, several are inside.
"Now, Grace," Isaac catches my attention. "I just–Please–There will be things you don't understand–"
"I can handle it," I reassure him. "I know your friends will be lovely."
He merely nods his head and we walk up the rickety steps onto the porch. He quietly knocks on the door, four perfectly timed raps, and all voices and sounds from inside go dead. A few footsteps are heard, a couple locks being undone, and then the door opens.
Someone with short brown hair stands there, and I recognize her immediately. Everything is the same, except her eyes are dark brown instead of the blue that I'm used to.
"Hey, Isaac. Hey, Grace." Braeden says, as if seeing each other is the most normal thing in the world.
"B-B-Braeden?" I ask, bewildered at her appearance. If anything, she was the last person I would expect to be standing here right now.
She opens the door wider. "Come inside. There's a lot to explain."
Isaac leads me in, and I see several others sitting on a couch in a living room. One boy with a buzzcut stands up. "Isaac!" He exclaims, giving him one of those guy hugs.
"This is Jake," Isaac tells me. Jake shakes my hand and I awkwardly stand to the side as my boyfriend greets everyone in the room. "This is Lea," He motions to a girl with platinum blonde hair sitting on the couch. "That's Matt." A boy with shaggy red hair waves. "And Derek."
I politely wave to each person. One of them offers me a seat on the couch which I accept, and Isaac sits down next to me. A small moment of silence fills the air. I didn't think things would be this awkward, but after seeing Braeden, I have no idea what the hell is going on.
"Isaac has told us so much about you." Lea pipes up, starting off the conversation.
"Oh yeah," Jake adds. "He talks about you all the time."
"Really?" I ask, slightly laughing. "I'm nervous now."
"Don't worry, all good things!" Isaac chuckles, wrapping his arm around me.
Braeden takes a seat on the arm of the couch, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. She shyly smiles, as if this is us meeting for the first time. But it's not, which is why it's so off-putting.
As if reading my thoughts, she says, "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here."
I weakly nod.
She takes a deep breath. "Well–"
"No," Lea stops her. "Isaac should explain."
Everyone, including me, turns their heads to the boy sitting next to me. His eyes widen, and he removes his arm from its casual position, signaling that all the smiles are over.
He clears his throat. "Um," He gathers his thoughts and I anxiously wait. "There's some parts of my life I've kept...hidden." Obviously. "And I regret it, it's just that, it's parts that are hard to share. Things that I've tried to completely erase from my head.
"Braeden and I have known each other since we were kids. We grew up next to each other, and she is kind of like a sister or a cousin. Everything went great in elementary school." He pauses, swallows emotion building up in his chest. "My father started yelling one night. I was eleven, I didn't know what was wrong. They would scream at each other night after night. Several months later, my mom took Mia and I with her and we switched houses. My friends," He gestures to the people sitting around us. "Were always there for me. They helped me get through the following four years. But then, Braeden told me she was moving to Chicago. I was sad, and there started to be a lot going down at school. I became irritable, rude. I, well, I got into a lot of fights. I guess maybe I thought it wasn't a big deal, after all I had seen my dad do it all the time at home. I didn't know it was wrong.
"I eventually got expelled. That was when my dad started to take his anger out on me instead of my mom. I didn't understand. I tried to ignore it, but his words were hurtful. I once asked him why he hated me so much. I remember the entire conversation. He told me, 'How could I love a child that isn't mine?' I didn't know what it meant at first, so he explained further to me. 'Ever wonder why your sister doesn't look like you? Your mother is a whore and you are a bastard.' My entire world turned upside down after that. I convinced myself that he wasn't my dad. No matter how much time he devoted to my family, no matter how many birthdays and Christmases he spent with me, I didn't care.
My mom told us she wanted to move. I pleaded with her to move us to Chicago. After all, my best friend would be there, she could get a higher paying job and we would be far from dad. After a lot of begging, I finally convinced her and we moved that summer. I tried to erase my past. I wanted to become the person I was. I tried to mask it all."
He takes a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. "And, well, that's about it. I figured you needed to know everything. And, it just seemed like Florida was the best place to tell you."
I look around at the other faces staring at me. I gulp. "Why did you take so long to tell me?"
He frowns. "I...I don't know." I nod my head, remaining quiet.
Braeden sighs. "I know this is really weird. My family originally lived in the city until we moved to Oakland several weeks ago. I was expecting something unusual to happen going with it. And then when I ended up meeting you before Isaac had a chance to introduce me, I didn't know what to do."
I look at Isaac. "So, you got expelled. For fist fights."
"Yes." Is all he says.
"It was that bad?" I ask. He doesn't answer. I take a deep breath and stand up. "I need to use the restroom."
I stand up without looking at anyone else and head down the hall, finding the bathroom. I lock myself inside, leaning against the door, catching a breath.
I always saw Isaac as perfect. I never thought of him any other way. It didn't even occur to me that no one is actually perfect, but I didn't even consider it.
Well now I know he isn't. And that would be okay. But he got expelled for hurting other people. I've seen him get physical before, but he caught himself. But what if he can't in the future? Will he hurt someone? Could he hurt me?
And the lie about Braeden. About his past. I opened up to him, I told him everything there was about me. All my cracks, all my smudges. He glazed over his as if there was nothing wrong. It made me feel worse about myself, because I had convinced myself that I was a screw up. If only he had told me. Then maybe it would let me know early on that I'm not the only broken one.
I turn on the sink. I splash my face with cold water, attempting to wash away any negative thoughts. Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding. Maybe I am overthinking this.
As I begin to dry my face off I hear voices from outside the door. Angry voices. I hear Isaac and Braeden. I hear Lea. I hear Jake. I hear Matt. But there's one more voice I don't recognize.
"You didn't even bother to tell me you were in town?" The voice, a female, says.
"Why would I?" I hear Isaac reply.
I unlock the door, slowly stepping out and walking down the hall. My foot steps on a creaky piece of wood and all heads turn my way.
My eyes immediately focus on one girl that definitely was not here before. She is tall, with tanner skin and dark black hair. The complete opposite of me.
A smile flashes across her face, perfect teeth glistening. "You must be Grace," She says, extending her hand. "I'm Cassidy." Uncomfortable, I shake her hand nonetheless.
"She was just leaving." Matt adds, opening the door.
"Why? I just got here?" Cassidy says, turning to face the others.
"Just leave." Lea steps in.
"Who are you?" I ask her.
She tilts her head. "Isaac hasn't told you about me?" I shake my head. "I was his girlfriend before he left."
Tension rises in the room. I gulp, unsure of what to actually say. "Cool." I manage to get out.
"I knew he had a new one. I thought it was funny. After all, he left without even breaking up with me. Matter of fact, he left without letting anyone know. Didn't bother to try and fix the bridges he burned." She smiles all while saying this.
"If a bridge is burned you can only build a new one," I answer, putting my hands in my back pockets. "I think that's what Isaac did when he moved."
"But don't you think it's a little inconsiderate? To leave everyone behind like they don't mean anything? He left me without saying anything. You know, after he told me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest if his life with me." She crosses her arms over he chest. "He left his friends. He left his enemies. And he left his victims. Did he tell you about poor Howie? The kid he beat up so badly that it landed him in the hospital and himself expelled? Yeah, the guy still walks with a limp. You should've seen Isaac. I swear, he was in the principal's office every other day. He had quite the temper. You don't want to get on his bad side."
My eyes flicker to Isaac, who is looking at the ground. Maybe out of shame. Maybe out of embarrassment. Maybe over the fact that he is upset because he didn't tell me.
Cassidy steps close to me and lowers her voice. "Have you had sex with him yet?"
My eyes widen. "What? No!"
"Cassidy!" Isaac interjects.
She steps backwards. "Weird. I had my bets on it. You know, you wouldn't be the first. He had two others before me. All that he told he loved dearly and would never hurt," She furrows her eyebrows. "I think it's funny how I know so much about you, but he hasn't told you anything about me or anyone else in his life in Florida."
"What are you talking about?" I question.
"Don't listen to her." Jake says.
"Well, I've heard much about Grace Baker. The girl he apparently fell head over heels with. A cute, bubbly city girl that would do anything for him. But, she wasn't always that way, huh? She once was an insignificant, isolated depressed girl. She spent her middle school years with some guy named Connor, who she whored around with when she wasn't in her bathroom throwing up her lunch from that day. Yeah, little Gracie lied about being a virgin. In fact, she practically begged Connor to fuck her. That's how she found her self worth. But it wasn't as fun when her daddy did it to her, was it? That after her momma died and daddy began to drink, he would touch her? But she told no one, except her best friend Claire, who dumped her shortly after so she could date Connor."
"Shut up you bitch!" Lea yelled, but Cassidy continued on.
"Gracie became more and more sad. Her daddy hit her over and over again. She threw up more and more. She cried and cried and cried. She always wondered how a razor blade would feel against her skin. She often thought about the sensation of hanging from her ceiling, going weeks before anyone found her because honestly, no one really cared about it. But then came her dream boy, who of course she pushed away at first. But then she got the great idea to lie to him. To act like the victim of all this torture, when really it was all her fault. She isn't really a damsel in distress, it was just an act to try and get a guy in bed with her again. But it didn't work, so now she is stuck with him."
"Just stop, Cassidy!" Isaac bursts out.
It feels as if coldness has filled the room. It snuck its way in through the open windows and surrounded me, enveloping me in insecurity, hurt, and a complete loss of what to do.
I don't even realize I'm crying until I try and look around, and everything is blurry. All the faces around me are blurred together, just like my thoughts. My emotions and feelings are all over the place, and my heart is beating wildly in my chest.
So I run.
Run out the door. Run down the porch steps. Past the house. Past the car. Past the other people walking around the neighborhood. Run all the way down the street, trying my damn hardest to ignore the footsteps behind me, pounding against the pavement as the person they belong to chases me.
Isaac grabs my arms, and I halt to a stop. I wriggle out of his hands. "Let go of me!" I scream.
"Grace–"
"I don't want to talk to you!"
"Just listen to me!" Isaac argues.
I whip around. "Why? So you can give me some dumb ass excuse? What the hell was that?"
"No, no, Grace–"
"How could you, Isaac?!" I cry out, my chest racking with sobs. "How could you tell her? How could you keep everything hidden from me?"
"Grace, it's not like that!" He tries to reach for my hand again, but I pull my arm behind me.
"I trusted you!"
"I know!"
"And you betrayed me!"
"No I didn't!" He counters.
"Then how do you explain what just happened?" I shout. "My life story is not yours to share! How did you even get some of that information? And why did you think it was okay to spill it to all your friends and girlfriend back home?"
"Look! I didn't tell Cassidy any of that! I don't know how she found out!" Isaac defends.
"How can I believe that when you've apparently been lying to me for the whole year?" I yell.
"I didn't–"
"You didn't care to tell me about any of that!"
"Grace! Stop being so hypocritical! You didn't tell me some of the stuff Cassidy just said! This isn't just me!" Isaac shouts.
"Are you kidding me?" I let out a small laugh, despite my tears. "You think that the fact that I had sex with Connor before is important? Or that my dad assaulted me? Or that I've wanted to kill myself before?"
"You lied about it!"
My sadness quickly turns to anger. "Do you really care about it that much? Fine! I had sex with Connor! Many times to be exact! The first few were with my own consent. But guess what, Isaac? One night I was raped by Connor. He held me down despite my screaming. Is that enough truth for you?"
"Grace–"
"You want more details, Isaac? That my father hurt me so bad one night he made me bleed? Or that Jane caught me trying to pick up a prescription that wasn't mine? Is that explicit enough for you?!" Hot tears stream down my face.
"No-Grace!"
"Are you going to see me like a whore now? The slut that everyone at school thinks I am? Or the crazy freak that surely just wants attention?" People are starting to stare now, but I don't care. "I'm upset because not only did you give away my personal life details without my ok, but you never even bothered to tell me that you almost killed a kid out of anger! Or that you left girls heart broken and didn't even care! I'm upset because you're not the person I thought you were!"
"Maybe I didn't tell you because I wanted to forget about it!" Isaac yells back.
"Then why'd you bring me here? You take me on this trip and all I can expect is to find out more about you! But, you try to hide things from me instead!"
"How was I supposed to know that would happen? And you're the one who wanted me to talk to my dad! I tried to tell you that I didn't want to! But you wouldn't let up! You won't do shit about your own dad, but you try to fix mine?" Isaac challenges.
"You're an asshole, Isaac!" I scream.
"This isn't my fault, Grace!"
"I don't give a damn who's fault it is! What I am concerned over is that you aren't the person I thought you were! Your true colors are coming through."
"I told you that was my old self! I left that Isaac back home!" He argues.
"And guess where we are right now?" I say, gesturing to the Florida skies around us. "People don't change."
"You changed when I started hanging out with you!"
"Are you saying that I'm some helpless little girl who can't function without Isaac? Do you think you saved me or something? Why did you hang out with me in the first place? Was it out of pity? Was it to try and prove to yourself that you're a good person?" He says nothing at this. The tears start again. "Fine. If that's the case, then you're a great person. I knew you were too good to be true. I'm done."
I walk away, hearing Isaac shout my name behind me. "Grace Baker!" I ignore him, anger thumping through me, sadness flooding my blood.
I pull my phone out, dialing a number and raising it to my ear. It rings a few times before someone picks up.
"Hi," I whisper into the phone, voice weak and cracked. "Um, I need a cab. 4509 Pickett Drive, please. To the Holiday Inn hotel, and then the airport. Yeah. Okay. Thank you."
I slip the phone back into my pocket and take a seat on the bench. Isaac sits next to me, keeping a couple of inches distance between us. Shortly after, a taxi pulls up. I stand up, opening the door, looking at Isaac once more.
I can't even describe the look of sadness on his face.
I take a deep breath, climbing into the car and shutting the door. I don't bother looking back as it drives away.
I leave the heart break. I leave the pain. I leave Isaac.
And it hurts so fucking bad.
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Hello...I'm kind of nervous to write this. Sorry if this chapter upsets you. I told you things couldn't stay happy forever! Sorry it took me so long to get this up. School has taken so much time, ugh. Hope you enjoyed nonetheless, even thought it's a sad chapter. Do you think they'll get back together and live happily ever after? I mean, there's already over thirty chapters, so... ;) Anywho, have a good Thanksgiving if you're american!