"Where are you going?" I said. My tears poured down my face. My eyes were red and puffed from all the crying I had done. His eyes that stared me intently looked longingly sad.
"Don't cry. It's not goodbye. We will see again and I promise you I will taking care of you someday." He said. His green eyes sparkled with hope and promises in spite of tears that being held.
"You promise?" I gleaned of hope.
"Yes mya. I promise you" He smiled, kissing on my knuckles. I felt complete.
"If you ever forget to find me in the future or you lose your way to find me, then make sure you let know somehow or leave trails for me to find you or I will haunt you and your family the rest of your life" I said.
We laughed, he gripped my hand into his. Then suddenly he vanished into thin air in the blink of eyes and leave only darkness surrounded me.
"AYA!" Loud banged on my door woke me up from deep slumber. I groaned and got up from my comfy bed. I stood near my bed, remembering the dream I just had. Those taunting green eyes. Where have I seen them before?
I met this one guy when I was four. I don't remembered him that much, just the fact that he always chased after me wherever I went to before he moved away. After that, we moved to Malaysia and I had forgotten those memories since then, until this morning when I had that dream. Why now? I dismissed that thought right away. It was just a childhood silly and naive promises, one of many past memories. I walked to my door and held the door knob.
"AYA! Get up or we will be damn late on our promise time to meet..." Cassie stood dumbfounded while jerked her hand before knocked right into my face when I opened my door.
"Yeah Yeah..I heard you the first time. Now run along. We don't have time to waste" I closed my door and walked into my bathroom.
We sat near the window far from the crowded tables in our promised place of meeting and waited patienly for Daniel to arrive. I insisted to meet him because of his sudden call yesterday about him moving away and news of unheard before marriage. He was certainly a man full of suprises.
"Danny, here!" Cassie sudden call killed my thoughts. I turned to see Daniel. He was quite charming today with his unusual casual attire, different from what he used to be in daily. He had his usual long haircuts with long, textured and disheveled hair, his bangs reach down, shaded his eyes which distract people from looking deep into his eyes. His long beards were trimmed short and tidied. His thick rimmed glasses was gone. He wore a long sleeve blouse with straight leg jeans. Definitely different from his usual baggy t-shirt and loose pants. But, for what? Did he want to impressed us?
He took the seat opposite us.
"So, spit it out. I don't have time" He said harshly with face that looked somewhat irritated. His words shocked me. He never that disagreeable person before.
"Dan, why are you mad? Is something happened back at your howtown?" I tried to compromise his sudden foul mood. His face hardened and turned confused a second after.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Really sorry." He reddened guiltily as he spoke. That was new. He never showed too many expressions before. He used to be unfazed by distractions. I smiled but rather my smile not reach my eyes, pretend it didn't affect me in a way when it actually does. I tried to heighten the frozen mood. Cassie's eyes blinked many times. She turned her face to me and mouthed 'Who is this guy'. I just shrugged.
"So..." I started the conversations again.
"What's with all the commotions about you wanting to drop your studies and marry off someone you don't know? Is it true? Come on, talk to us. We are friends, right?" He was taken aback by my question.
"Yeahh danny and you doesn't look and act like yourself, you know. I thought you were someone else before you started to speak. Only you possess that horrible voice. No doubt." Cassie added. I glared her from the corner of my eyes. She can be an airhead sometimes.
"Nothing of your consent. It's just my family's matter. Union of two families for the sake of companies' economic wellbeing. Besides, I'm not in the urge to graduate, it's not like I need it to secure jobs or anything. I'm capable of getting my hands on whatever I want in the world. Except one" He said confidently while gazed into my eyes, searching for something deep into it.
I gasped in shock. His eyes were green. Things I never realized till today. But did he always had those eyes all along? I don't know, perhaps yes but I can't be sure. He rarely looked direct into people's eyes when talking. He had this insecure gestures when involved in any conversations with people and held his head down almost all the time. Only with me he can be relaxed and expressed his self freely, though he still refused to make eye contact with me.
"Your eyes are beautiful" I blurted out.
"Are those always that green?" I mumbled to myself. Cassie kicked my legs under the table, knocked me out of my zone. I blushed.
"But I'll remain here with you Aya, If that's what you want" His sudden confession were something I never thought I'd hear especially from him. He said calmly, his face void of emotions. Indifferent to be exact.
"I know you do. You always love me, don't you Aya? Your eyes tell everything" He questioned, more like pointed out a statement. I was stunned, shocked was understatement of what I felt right now.
"No. I don't!" I hissed. Sudden anger of being mocked arose within my inner self. Cassie remained silent, but rather looked speechless.
"Pity. When I do love you all this time. Always and ever, you are the only one Aya. But you never notice my feelings. I'd actually hope you would beg me to stop the wedding when I told you about this yesterday. All this time, Aya. You never notice me, how could you forget?" He said softly, in deep husky voice. He sounded full of hope but in a way of being deeply disappointed. For the first time I thought I heard his real voice and saw his genuine expressions of what he felt.
"I..errmmm..I don't know Dan." I stuttered. I was confused but inside I know my heart danced happily. I felt like wanting to screamed my lungs out, hated my state of unable to declare my feelings and tell Daniel that we shared the mutual feelings, he felt the same of what I felt all the time we spent together for the last two years. If he ever knew how hard I restrained this feelings and how it hurted me everytime I felt like he was so close, yet so far away, he would never wore that sad face.
But realization dawned on me. We can't. I can't. We were entirely world different in terms of cultures, religion and many more. Furthermore, he was not the right person to receive these feelings. I knew from the start but my instinct kept on telling me he was the one. However, it has to stop here and then. I don't want my beliefs to be constricted by mere feelings. If Allah's will, nothing will left unsorted.
"Danny.." I tried to explain but he cut through.
"Aya, I have known you for the past two years. I knew you have the same feelings. We were meant to be together. If you just tell me this one time, we will be together not just with this friend thing that binds us." Daniel's desperate urge for answers made me realized more of my idiocy. He was definitely not the right person. But then maybe it was my fault for letting he believed that whatever we had was real.
"I'm sorry, Dan. I really don't. You must know I don't date. It's haraam." I said while lowered my eyes from the intensity of his disarming gaze. The guilty feelings started to bothered me.
"Then.." He gulped. His face saddened.
"I think...I don't have any pupose left to be here. Even if I beg, you would never say yes. I respect you for that. I'd naively thought that someday this love will lead you back to me when infact you really had forgotten all about me. It's so hard to pretend, Aya..when you have been missing someone so long." He sighed. I decided to remain silent but his words made me wondering over a lot of uncalled questions. He stood abruptly and attempted to compose his self. He held his head high and smiled unwillingly.
"Goodbye then." I marvelled at his sudden cool and calm farewell. He'd covered instantly like his words just now didn't means that much. He made to walk past us.
"When will your marriage being held? That the least we can do as your friend" Cassie suddenly intervened and broke the strain moments that started to thicken the heavy air surrounding us. He stopped midway towards the exit, stood silence for a moment.
"This Saturday, at St. Patrick's Cathedral." He replied sternly before hastened out of the coffee house. Cassie turned to face me. She looked disapproved of my choice but she knew my situation, so she stayed silent. My eyes followed Daniel's steps. This self-blame and grief will be a crippling burden that will haunt me for the rest of my life. He was a very good friend, irreplaceable best friend indeed. Suddenly my phone vibrated. A message from granny. I opened it and read.
'Your hubby is in the television right now' I gaped and turned instantly to my right side to where the television located at.
"NO WAY!" My eyes widened as the person appeared in the television dawned my realization.
"Cade Carson? The only Cade Carson?" I'd nearly dropped a cup I was holding.
His smoldering, penetrating grey eyes stared seductively. Those eyes looked somehow familiar.
'Follow your heart' The only three words that I heard throughout his short ad. His voice was melodic enough to startle my body and stirred all the emotions and feelings deep inside my heart. No one had ever affected me the way he does before, not even Daniel. The girls went crazy, near euphoria. Well, who's in the right mind didn't.
He was so good-looking, blessed with everything you ever dreamed of a perfect man; lean body, height above 6 foot, strong jaw line, unblemished skin, breathtaking eyes, sexy jet black hair and more importantly his mysterious personalities and unknown personal life that leave all the unlimited impressions to the imagination alone. His megawatt smile was the last thing I saw before I lowered my gaze when it suddenly occured to me how wrong these thoughts were. Astaghfirullah al azeem. Did I ever learned of my mistakes?
I stood up and strode towards the exit. Cassie followed from behind.
Someone's POV
I watched her as she first entered the coffee house, sat near the big glass windows, talked graciously, smiled beautifully, changed her expressions to every little things that being said, how her beautiful blushing color glowed when she looked embarassed and even how a shock of sheer awareness casted on her face made me catch my breath.
"Why I had only found you recently after so many years?" I murmured, more like enquired myself over the endless regrets. My eyes raking over her, her beauty in everything.
"You will be mine. Before long, you will become mine Aya darling." I stated the obvious, talked as she was standing right before my eyes. I smiled inwardly and continued to study her from where I parked my car near the coffee house.
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Salam.