Here I am. At this moment. I walk into the room full of people not knowing if he's there or not, looking at me from a distance. I pray blissfully. Please, he's here. Please, he's here. I find my locker and put all my belongings inside as fast as possible. And this happens everytime, every morning I walk into that room. That loud, crowded room. But one soul, one spirit that stands out from all of them. No... I can't see him. He's not here yet! Sometimes I take things too seriously causing for me to rage with curiosity and concern. I feel like I need to know where he is, doing what, talking to who and thinking of what. It even pisses me off. It's that bad.
Though, my inner soul is constantly on the page of trust, hope, belief and respect. Love makes me strong but weak.
Oh god, I weep inside at myself. What have I come to...
What have you come to? repeats my subconscious with disgraceful pity in its eyes. I can only imagine how pitiful and low they're glaring at me right now. You were the one that promised not to love again. Not to trust again. You know what happened to you last time. You were broken, they broke your innocent trust. You were naive... okay... but you cannot be so stupid now!
My inner soul gasps. I sigh. This just doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I should be listening to my subconscious. I need peace. My inner soul stands up from the darkness it was just buried a second ago. Peace! It jumps out like a blast of fireworks.
I finally see him walking through the door, making his way past people and towards his locker. I suspect him carefully. I don't want to seem... abnoxious? my subconscious sneers.
I am in an ignomious position right now; my subconscious warns me. I feel like all eyes are peering at me. I have to stop this. Stop.
He turns his head around and before I can look away, his eyes land on mines. Yikes. My inner soul praises. I draw a smile on my face as he paints one on his face. That's how beautiful his smile is. That's how beautiful love is, my inner soul bows at her analysis.
"Hello!"
I am abashed.
"Hello!" I manage to say.
And my inner soul is in a love fit.