It’s been two days since I left the house and I know that I can’t run away forever. Today is the day.
I’ve decided to call James and tell him that I’m coming today. It’s hard but I have to accept it and embrace it. I’ve thought that I should be thankful because they accepted me. I’ve think to myself, if they did not adopt me, where am I right now? Will I ever be in this place right now? Will I ever know how to count numbers from one to ten? Or will I ever learn how to read? I know it’s hard for me to think that I’m not really part of their family by blood, but they never ever let me feel that I don’t belong in them. In fact they do the opposite; they love me unconditionally and showed me that love is the most precious thing a person can have. No money can buy happiness, no money can buy love. Some may be rich, they can have all the things in the world but without love, it’s nothing.
I should be thankful; while there are some people seeking for love on their family here I am, having that life in my arms. I’ve realized that getting mad, feeling sad, hopeless and betrayed is a part of it. I asked myself once, yes I was hurt but what about my parents? I know that if I was hurt, it’s triple times to them. They are the one who taught me things I should have known, they were the one who supported me when I took my first step as I walk, they are the one who provides us what we need first than what we wants. They gave me love that feeds my soul and my filled my whole life complete.
I parked my car outside our house, as I look outside of the house I smiled to myself. This is not just a house, this is my home.
I walked inside to see my parents sitting at the living room with their puffy eyes and I can’t help but feel the guilt running to my whole. This is all because of me.
“Mom, dad” I mumble not knowing where to start. They both turn around to look at me with their eyes wide. My mom was the one who run towards me first to envelope me in her arms.
“I’m sorry.” I told her as I cry in her arms.
“Shh, sweeties please stop; don’t cry it’s not your fault okay? We should be the one apologizing to you.”
“No mom, I disrespect you and dad and I’m really sorry! Please forgive me!” I beg. What I did is not a reason for me to disrespect them.
Suddenly my father’s presence was felt as he embrace mom and I.
“Dad, I am sorry. Forgive me.” I told him.
“No honey, you did nothing and we understand what you did. I’m sorry if we kept it to you, we know that this day will come and us being selfish is not a reason but we want you to know that you are still our baby okay?” My father said and I nod at him while letting the tears fall from my face.
“I forgive you mom and dad, while I’m away I’ve realize some things in life. Like I should be thankful for you to accept me and love me, I will never be who I am now without you. It’s all you mom and dad and I will forever be grateful for it” I told them honestly.
“Oh darling,” my mom cried once more and kissed every inch of my face.
“We are so lucky to have you baby, you have no Idea.” My father said and embraces me once more.
After a couple of minute with crying and exchanging words, we all gathered in the living room.
“Where is James by the way?” I asked and my father said;
“He is out, says he just needs some time alone but be back tonight. He didn’t take the news so well Samy. Your brother loves you so much and now that he knew that he is not really your brother hurts him so much. While you were away, every night he kept on asking us ‘why’.” My mother said and I kept holding back my tears. I love my brother too much also.
“I’ll call him later,” I said.
“I think, you give him time too honey. Just like you, he needed time also.” My father said and I nod.
“So, uh can I ask you something?” I asked and they look at each other’s first before signaling me to go on.
“I uh, I want to know everything about me and my family, If it’s okay?” I ask hesitantly.
“Uh, o-okay honey…” my father said and I saw my mom squeezing his hand.
Sighing loudly after rubbing his forehead, he said;
“Where do I begin?” he said and I can’t help but felt nervous sad and a little bit of excitement growing inside me right now.
Even though after this, I know some things will change forever.
***
Lying on my bed, thinking about everything of what my mother and father had just said a while ago.
What am I going to do now?
How am I going to face them?
Will they accept me for who I am?
My father told me everything I need to know, everything that they know about my family. They got me back when I was still a baby; my true parents were too young and so much in love when they had me, they can’t afford to buy milk and some stuff for me. In other words, being young and everything, they can’t have me even if they want me too. They still need to study to graduate and to have work. They left me to one of my true father’s old nanny named Lilanie when they left the country to work. Then not knowing Lilanie’s health condition, she died due to heart attack. Then when Lilanie died, her best friend Lorry got me and she is my father’s mother, my grandma Lor’s, that’s what James and I used to call her. To make the story short, My mom and dad adopted me, they feed me, gives me shelter, clothed me and most of all loved me. They said that because James was not too older than me, he didn’t know that we are really not related to one another. When my family back from where they are from, they started looking out for me. My dad said that they are now having lots of money, not that I care honestly. They want to start a new life with me and my twin brother. Yes, mom said that I have a five years old twin brother. I smile at the thought.
For years, they finally moved back in here. I want to get mad at them but I set aside it, I know that just like my mom and dad they have reasons. I know also that they did it because they were too young to keep me around. They don’t have someone to turn to, back to the days because the parents of my real mother were already died while as for my father, his parents doesn’t care about him anymore and it starts when he dated my mother. My dad said that my real parents started looking for me since last year and when they found where I am they contacted them nonstop. They want to see me. They want me back. I sigh not knowing if I should be happy or not. I’m scared and that is one thing I am sure of.
I huff and rolled on my bed. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what I should feel.
Later that night, we are done having dinner and James haven’t showed up yet and I’m getting nervous. I can feel my mother doing the same because she keeps on asking my father silently. They didn’t know that I can hear them.
The door creaks and I saw James walks inside. By the way I look at him, I know that like me, he didn’t get’s much sleep.
“James!” I shouted happily and run towards him to embrace him.
“Sam!” he said and hugs me too.
“I was waiting for you! I mean we are! where have you been?” I ask him.
“I’m sorry; I’m just on my flat. Uh I’m-“before he continues I dismissed it already.
“Nah, that’s okay. Want to go for a walk? Or maybe you can treat me an Ice cream for payback?” I suggest. Rolling his eyes, he agrees to my deal.
He kissed mom and dad first before we left the house.
***
We are eating ice cream at the park. Facing the lake with the beautiful moon above it, it’s breathtaking.
No one dares to speak; we both busied ourselves by shoving ice cream in our own mouth.
“How did you take it?” James asks without looking at me, instead he is looking at his ice cream.
“I have to James, I have to accept it.” I answered him. Nodding, he put the empty ice cream cup down the bench in between us.
“I wish I’m just like you, you know? Brave enough to face everything what comes in my way.” He said and he leans back on the bench for support.
“No James, I just have to. There are things in life that we can’t escape, we have to face it and embrace it. I believe that there’s a reason behind everything that is happening right now.” I told him as I look at the lake sparkling in front of me.
“I’m scared James, deep inside me I don’t know what to do. I know that one of these days, things will change and that’s what I’m thinking about. I don’t want things to change between you and me, Mom and dad too.” I suddenly feel the need to let my emotion out. I need to cry but I against to it.
Without any words needed to tell him, he immediately moves beside me and hugs me.
“Shh, nothing will change okay? I’m still your brother, your best friend. I can be anything you want okay? I’m afraid too, I’m afraid that one day I’ll just woke up one weekend and realize that there is no more you at the other room that I used to barge every morning. I’m afraid that you will not call me anymore, like every day when you or I, have a vacant period. It scares me as f*ck but I can’t let it get in my way because I know that you are not that kind of person. You are far from that Sam. I love you forever.” My brother James said and with that, I can’t hide it anymore. I cry on his arms like a baby. I kept on nodding while crying and hugging him.
“I love you James and you will always be my ‘kuya’ No matter what happen I will always be here for you and nothing will change. Thank you for being everything James, you, mom and dad, thank you.” He kissed my head and we both pulled away as he wipes away my tears.
“You and I, no matter what happen will stick together like my booger.” He said with a grin and I just rolled my eyes adding a slight playful punch on his arms which he rubs dramatically.
“You are so disgusting! I’ll tell that to mom!” I told him while laughing.
“You are so disgusting! I’ll tell that to mom!” He mimicked me and we just both laugh harder.
“Don’t do that again, it not suits you. You look like a maniac! You will never attract girls by doing that.” I tease.
Suddenly a two pretty girls walks in front of us and James winks at me, I know where this is going to.
“Hey ladies,” he said calling for their attention.
“You know, for beautiful girls like you guys, you shouldn’t walk alone in here without a ‘man’ to protect you. If you know what I mean.” He complimented them with a smile.
“Oh hello there, thank you for your concern. That’s what I keep on telling here with my sister. Anyway, thanks a lot and we will keep that in mind. You live here?” she asks and at the back of my mind, I’m already rolling my eyes.
“Oh yeah, just a couple of blocks away from here, I just don’t come here always. I’m here also to give my sister a word you know, roaming the street nowadays were not safe anymore even if you were on your own street.” He said and I can see the girl already melted.
“Aww, I never thought that I could find someone like you. Some guys nowadays only thinks about girls and their boobs! It’s really nice knowing you…” she said waiting for my brother.
“Gorg,” my brother said. What the…?
“Gorg?” she repeats. She frowns while looking at him.
“Yes, I’m Gorgeous.” I bit my lip from looking at laughing while looking at him. The girl smiled from ear to ear and her sister can’t hide it also.
“So I believe you are beauty?” he asks and she reddens like a tomato. Her smile could reach the sky.
“No, I’m- I’m Lovely. My name is Lovely.” She said shyly.
“Oh, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl huh.” He smirks at her and she smiles once again.
“I’m James,” he said and they both shake their hands.
“We have to go, it’s nice to meet you Gorg, oh I mean James.” She teases with a wink and then left.
James sits beside me and I just rolled my eyes.
“Come on, we have to go. It’s going to be interesting when I call Myra tonight.” I tease and smirk at him while standing up.
I can hear him growl and in a bit second, his arm draped on my shoulder.
“What about I buy you a gallon of ice cream tonight before we head home?” he suggest.
***
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