Austin didn't even bother running off; he didn't even care anymore. But that didn't mean it wasn't absolute torture, just watching as they took his sister away, never to return. She hadn't turned out okay, there was no happy ending. That only happened in the movies.
And then he found he didn't even have any control over his emotions. He found that he was on the ground, on his knees, wailing like a four year old.
It was surprisingly easy, to let himself be lost in the complicated thoughts that occupied his brain. He knew that if he wanted to, he could calm himself, grieve in silence. But if he didn't care anymore, there was no point. No matter how pleasant he could force his self to act, though he'd of course be dying inside, his sister would still be gone.
Dead.
He let his body shake with sobs. Then Ally was at his side, and she was hugging him, and telling him that he would be okay, it was going to be okay.
The very small part inside of him that was still thinking, that wasn't being controlled by the pain of loss, felt a little sorry for Ally.
She tried so hard, comforting him at his weakest, never leaving his side. Yet Austin knew she would have to try extra hard to relieve him of this trauma.
If he could ever be relieved.
Ally felt as though she were being physically impacted, it was like being punched in the stomach each time Austin let out another cry. The other times that she had seen him cry (which was not often), he was never as afraid, as alone.
She remembered Rebecka's words, her wish for Ally to help him through his misery. From experience, she knew that at some points he'd feel even worse that this.
She vowed to herself, to Rebecka's spirit, that she would stay with Austin, guide him if necessary.
But there was a feeling that he wouldn't make it especially easy for her. And a fear that she wouldn't be able to help him.
Even just seeing her boyfriend being mentally torn apart was killing her. She didn't want to have to see this.
Yet her love for Austin was compelling her to stay. She helped him off the floor. If he was going to have a breakdown, might as well not be in the middle of the ground.
Something occurred to her. Two weeks ago, they were in the reverse situation, she was the one with the emotional overload. But did he give up on her? No. It must have been just as stressful for him, with her not letting him know the truth at first. But he didn't just let her go.
And Ally was determined to act the same towards him.
"Austin," she said gently. He didn't respond, though she wasn't really expecting him to. "How about-do you wanna go outside?" Again, he didn't acknowledge her. Again, that didn't matter. "C'mon Austin. We're going to go take a walk outside."
Austin let himself be led out of the hospital by Ally, but he didn't break out of his state. She was too sweet, he knew he didn't deserve her to still be at his side. And he felt bad, because despite her efforts to help him, he would still be shattered. He couldn't help it.
By the time they got outside Austin had stopped crying out loud. Tears still streamed down his face, but he was mourning silently now. They walked next to the building, but different than normal. More separate. Austin kicked scattered rocks along the path, Ally let her hand slide across the rough wall. They had only been a few minutes in the courtyard, and Austin stopped.
Ally turned to him. His eyes were so sad, lost. "Ally," he moaned softly.
"Yea, Austin? Are you okay?"
"Ally. She's gone." She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He squeezed her back, though more out of a need for support than real love, like any of their normal hugs.
"Oh, Austin, I'm so sorry. But it's going to be okay." Ally felt tears in her own eyes, but tried to keep them from falling. She wanted to seem strong, for him. It didn't last long. A tear escaped, but Austin didn't seem to notice.
They stood still, in each others arms, feeling each others pain. Yet it was peace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dez drummed his fingers on the lunch table. Neither Austin nor Ally were at school today, it was just him. And technically Trish, if she acknowledged him.
She slammed her tray down next to him. Wow, lucky.
"Okay, here's the deal. Ally's at the hospital with Austin. So we need to figure out a way to convince Starr Records not to relocate," she explained. Dez looked up at her from his seat, confused.
"Why? I mean, I know why, but why now?"
"Because," she drew out the word as if the reason was obvious. "Ally won't let us help her, she doesn't want to risk ruining Austin's career."
"So we're going to possibly ruin it anyways?" Dez asked. Trish inhaled, frustrated, though Dez was unsure exactly what he was doing wrong.
"We've got to think of a way that won't make any problems. Now does it make sense?" Dez began to shrug, but seeing the annoyed look on Trish's face, he turned it into a nod.
And together, throughout the whole lunch period, they finally came up with...
"Nothing!" Trish exclaimed helplessly. "I can't believe there's no way we can help Ally stay!" For once, her normally confident stature was being overthrown by dismay.
"Hey, I'm sure there's something we can try," Dez reassured.
"Like..."
"Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, at the moment, the only thing that I'm thinking of is literally going over there and trying to talk them out of moving their headquarters. But I doubt that will do much." Trish seemed to ponder over the suggestion. While Dez was right, it didn't appear as a very effective plan, it was something, at least. She gave him a half smile.
"I guess it's worth a try."
The glass elevator let Trish see the ground getting farther and farther, just like what would happen to her best friend if they didn't figure this out.
It was a day later; Trish had scheduled an appointment with Jimmy Starr. She also still hadn't heard from Ally, no new news about Rebecka for like two days, but she hadn't seen her at school yesterday. Today, Trish was the one skipping school, to attend this meeting. Dez was also supposed to meet her here, but she hadn't heard a word from him all day either.
Finally the elevator stopped at the correct floor, and Trish stepped out.
She felt out of place, all of these official-looking people, all strict to their business, meanwhile she was just a kid. But she didn't let that bother her too much, she still walked briskly to the receptionist desk with an air of authority.
"Hi, I have a meeting with Jimmy at twelve," she informed the lady.
"Name please?" The lady didn't even waste her time looking up.
"Trish De la Rosa." The receptionist pointed to the left, still looking at something on her computer.
"Second door down." Trish strolled down the hallway, her confidence still there, but diminished slightly as she reached the door.
"I'm heeeere!" Trish heard running footsteps behind her and turned around to see Dez running at full speed. She let out a soft groan. This was not going to work.
"Dez! Shut up! This is important, and you have to be serious, or everything will be ruined! Don't mess this up." Dez nodded sheepishly.
"Okay. So should we go in?"
"Let's go."
They both barged into the large meeting room. Jimmy Starr sat behind his position in the front of the long meeting table.
"Trish and Dez. You wanted to have a talk with me?"
"Yes. We were wondering if we could convince you to change the location you plan on moving your business to somewhere else?" It was a question, but that's not how Trish sounded when she asked it. It was more of a command. Not a good idea when talking to someone so important.
"Is that a question or a demand Trish?"
"I'm demanding- er, I mean, well, it's just a suggestion...?"
"I thought so, and I've considered your 'suggestion' before. As a matter of fact, due to the competition in this area, we've decided to move the office two weeks earlier than planned. Unless you manage to raise twenty thousand dollars by next month, you can't change my mind."
Trish knew this was a trap, she knew that Jimmy knew the only way they'd be able to raise enough would be through Austin. But if they did anything, it would most likely get him released from his record deal.
They would have to deal with this alone, only her, Dez, and maybe Ally could know. "Thank you for your time, Jimmy," Dez said politely. He and Trish stood up, defeated.
Trish tried to call Ally in the taxicab, but she didn't answer. The second time, a few minutes later, she picked up.
"Hi Trish." Her voice was surprisingly calm. No emotion, almost. But Trish knew better.
"Ally, what happened?"
"It's really sad, especially for Austin. Rebecka...this morning..." Ally didn't even have to finish her sentence. Trish knew.
"Oh," she said in a small voice. "Tell Austin that I'm really sorry. Really sorry. Rebecka was awesome." Neither said anything; what exactly was there to say in situations like this?
"Um...Ally? There's another thing you should know..."
"What?" Trish didn't like worrying Ally, ever. Ally could over-stress about pretty much anything.
"Um...we may or may not have angered Jimmy Starr...so much that he's planning on moving his company early."
"Oh, Trish...why did you do that? I told you I didn't need any help, I knew something would go wrong!" A tear ran down Ally's cheek. Everything was so perfect before, now everything was falling apart. All of the good things were crumbling to dust.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Ally," Trish apologized.
"Just...ugh, just...bye Trish."
She hung up, and leaned against the bathroom wall, where she had gone to answer her phone, without being rude to Austin. That meant she only had a month...
She wouldn't be able to fulfill Rebecka's wishes, she wouldn't have enough time to help Austin get past her death, and maybe, just maybe, if he was starting to be okay, then she'd have to leave him.
She couldn't tell Austin, for multiple reasons. She didn't have the heart, to tell him while he was still so broken, she had no idea how he'd react. She was afraid of that.
Plus, if he tried to help her, like Trish, more problems would arise.
Absolutely nothing was working out for her anymore. But even as she thought that, Ally knew it wasn't true, if anything, nothing was working for Austin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was sunny. Much too sunny for a funeral.
Austin wished he was somewhere, anywhere but here. This awful place, everyone with such false expressions, false sympathy.
So many people came up to him, all saying how sorry they were for his loss, pitying looks on their faces. But most of these people, they weren't truly sorry, not like he was. They didn't know what it was like for him, they didn't even know Rebecka.
Ally was by his side the whole time, constantly asking her if he was okay, pulling him away from the crowd when she knew he wasn't.
Austin was so very grateful that Ally knew him so well, because at the moment, he couldn't find the words to tell her how glad he was that she was there for him. He couldn't even imagine his life without her. Hopefully, there was some chance she could stay, because the two months they had left together wouldn't take forever.
Austin turned away from her, he didn't want her to see him cry again. But somehow, she always knew he was about to. She led him behind a clump of trees, and didn't say anything when a single tear fell right on her nose. Looking at her watch though, which she didn't usually wear, she realized they had to get back.
"Austin. We have to return, speeches." Austin had agreed to do the speech, but now he wasn't sure why. Ally was also planning on speaking, because he'd asked her to.
She wiped her nose, and gave Austin a quick kiss, before taking his arm again. They strolled back the way they had come, almost everyone was already seated. Austin and Ally had seats in the front, and they sat down in silence, until Ally it was Ally's turn. "
"Maybe...maybe your expecting a little cliche speech that will make you cry, make you look back on Rebecka's life with sadness. Which always seems to be the problem with funerals. They welcome death, not the beautiful life a person lived. It won't bring Rebecka back, she's happy where she is. And that's in heaven watching down on us all, protecting her loved ones.
There's millions of people that lose their family members every day, I know what that's like. Rebecka wouldn't want us to mourn, though. I'll admit that while I didn't know her as closely as some people, she has deeply impacted my life, and is someone that I will never forget. Let's all remember her for her greatness."
Everyone clapped, and Ally noted a few people actually were crying. It was now Austin's turned. Ally gave him a small smile, but he couldn't bring himself to return it. She would understand, though.
Austin wasn't quite sure how he was able to speak, his emotions almost seemed to be blocking his voice.
"Ally's right, Rebecka wouldn't want us to be sad like this every day. She's the kindest, sweetest, and most caring person I've ever known, and she always puts others before herself. If she saw us like this, it would break her heart. So for Rebecka, we have to try to move on. Rebecka was a kind soul, and she will never be forgotten."
He hadn't said much, but he didn't need to. He'd only told these people the truth, and he didn't need very many words to explain the simplicity of how amazing his sister was.
He sat back down, and his father was speaking, but he was just crying. Ally squeezed his hand.
A few minutes later, Ally tapped his shoulder drawing his attention. "Let's go," she suggested. Austin was confused.
"Go? Like leave my sisters funeral?" Ally shook her head.
"No, no, I can just tell that these speeches aren't making you feel so great. I was thinking maybe you wanted to go for a walk." They seemed to be doing that a lot lately, but it was true, he didn't like this at all. All these people, saying nice things about Rebecka. When they didn't even know her. Not really.
They were sitting in the front, but fortunately, off to the side, so it was easy to stand up and walk off without being noticed by a lot of people. Soon, they were back in the same spot they had been before the speeches.
A space just for them, hidden from the world.
They stood there, and Austin unexpectedly gave Ally a hug.
"Oh, Ally. Please don't leave me. I need you, so much." Ally buried her head in his chest, so he wouldn't see her face, the hopelessness it portrayed.
Then he kissed her, and while they were both feeling so alone in their own problems, this kiss, lasting longer than normal, reminded them both that together, there might just still be a chance that not everything was lost.