Chapter Twenty Three: I don't hate you
I occupied myself with lots of reading and realised I actually didn't remember the last thing I read few seconds ago. I threw the book across the room in frustration.
Ugh!
Few minutes after I cut the call of Nobody, Justin pulled up. He asked if I wanted to get my things from the house- which meant meeting Marissa. And I didn't want that. She lied to me. I couldn't forgive her. At least not right now.
I told him I don't want to go home so, he offered to get my stuff first thing in the morning to which I willingly agreed.
For the night, he lend me his hoodie and pants. They were comfortable- obviously super large but, it didn't matter. His parents weren't home- like always. James tho'- his care taker- knew me and was trying his best to make me feel like home.
The knock on the door pulled me out of my head. "Come in." I said, pulling up the blanket to my neck.
Justin walked inside and situated himself on the edge the bed. "Do you want to watch a movie or something?" He asked. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to divert my mind from those things.
It was nine o'clock, way before the original time I sleep at. But, I was pretty exhausted with everything today happened.
I smiled. "Thanks Justin. But, I think I need to sleep."
He smiled and nodded his head, "Okay. I'm right next door. If you need-"
"I know. I'll come straight to you."
He nodded, again and stood up. "Yeah. Night, Elle."
I smiled, "Night, Jus."
With a last nod he left and closed the door behind him.
I laid on my stomach, trying to catch some sleep. Ten hours to go. Ten hours left before I have to wake up for school.
The only place which still made sense for me and made me feel like I fitted in.
I turned the other away thinking of someone I should not. I juts can't help it. At least not right away.
***
I liked the warm fabric of my full sleeves turquoise blouse on my cold skin. Hastily, I jiggled into my sky blue tight-fit denims and strappy black wedges. Justin as promised got me my stuff as soon as he woke up.
I left my golden hair open, not because I wanted to... but, because I was too lazy to do anything with them but, that didn't stop me from keeping a spare hair-tie in my bag, just in case.
I did my usual makeup- actually a little less than I usually did. I wasn't feeling like getting ready at all and yet I managed to do little bit something with myself.
Honestly, I looked horrible with those red eyes and pink nose. I threw my phone on the bed. I was better of it... at least for today.
I walked out of the guestroom and knocked on Justin's door.
"Jus! We're going to get late!" I screeched and not able to stand out there, I barged in and stopped dead in my tracks.
HE WAS IN BED, SLEEPING!!
"Justinnnnnnn!!" I screamed in his ear and on time I stepped back. He jerked up in sitting position- possibly looking for some terrorists attack around him.
His head turned toward me, with wide eyes and sighed. "Elle..." he groaned- sighed and plonked back down. And closed his eyes.
"Justin it's almost 8! Get your ass up or I'll splash the cold water bucket on you." I threatened and he stood up almost immediately. He knew that I wasn't joking. Because it wouldn't be the first time that I would do something like that with him.
"Okay mommy." He grumbled, getting out of the bed and rolled his eyes at me. I ignored him. Stepping out his way I watched him yawn and stretch his muscles.. His golden hair sticking everywhere making him look funny.
But, I didn't smile. I had to be mad to make him ready for school.
'I know I sound like his mom. But, I don't care...'
"I'll meet you downstairs in ten, I promise." He pleaded, as he dragged me towards the door.
"Ten it is."
He nodded, "Ten."
I smiled. "Okay."
***
I walked towards my locker, ignoring the eyes on me. They most probably knew the truth by now that it wasn't my dad behind Evan's almost expulsion. At least that was a relief.
I had free first period so, I thought to go to eatery. I needed some strong coffee. It wasn't until I entered the cafe- I realised Nobody worked there.
I looked towards the counter and my eyes caught ash black mop of hair guy clad in dark denims and pale yellow hoodie, busy cleaning his counter top. It was my chance to slip back but, by then he spotted me. He held my gaze longer than he usually did. Weird. The butterflies jumped in my stomach, causing me to squeeze myself a little. It was not possible to tear my eyes away from his. His injuries were almost healed. He looked pretty much himself.
Suddenly, I got the strange urge to run back anyway. I can't deal with him right now. I didn't want more drama in my life than I already had. And, Nobody meant DRAMA.
Abruptly, I turned away and stomped outside. The hallways were almost at peace- only few students having free lecture like me roamed around. I walked towards the deserted area of the school which was pretty much under-construction since last year. Sometimes, I liked sitting there probably because no one came there and it was like my secret hiding place. Not even my group knew about it.
There was flight of stairs. I sat on the middle step, leaning my head against the half broken banister. It was a mess but, then so was I.
Justin and Martin had their practice so they left my side as soon as we entered school. Justin asked me few times if I would be okay by myself. I couldn't ask him to cut his practice. He had a tournament coming up.
Kim didn't come to school, again. I wanted to call her but, after last night when she didn't let me crash with her- which was shocking because she heard my voice and she knew me more than anyone. Yet, she made an excuse. I wonder if it's about the guy she's seeing. I had my suspicions about her dating some guy from past few weeks and I thought she will eventually tell me.
Guess, I am wrong about many things.
Pulling my knees close, I made a room in my arm and rested my head in it, closing my eyes. A tear slipped out of my eye and I didn't bother wiping it off. There was no one to witness it. I could cry as much as I wanted to.
Just then, my nostrils filled with the fresh aroma of strong coffee and I snapped my head up, holding my breath in my throat.
Nobody stood on the first step of landing, with two mugs in his hands. I furrowed my brows. "How did you find me?"
He smirked, stepped towards me. "It's my hiding place too." He informed, causing my heart to sped up.
So we do share something in common, huh?
"May I?" He questioned with a raise of his brow, gesturing at the empty space beside me.
I slightly nodded, as he sat down.
"This is for you." He said, passing the right hand coffee to me.
I frowned. I wanted to argue or deny but, I badly wanted coffee in my system. "Um, I can't-"
He cut me off, "It's just like you drink. With cream and sugar." He said, bringing some water in my mouth.
I looked at the purple mug. Coffee didn't do anything to me... it's the only thing who hadn't lied, betrayed or disappointed me. Then, why should I punish it for my troubles?
I took it from his hand- ignoring the shiver that ran when our fingers brushed together. I twirled the mug a little in the hood of my palms and blew in it before taking a sip.
Just like I love...<3
My heartbeat constantly skipped few beats... because HE WAS FREAKING SEATING BESIDE ME!!!
But,
Why is he here? Did he forget something? Perhaps, insulting me some more?
In complete silence we sat side by side, sipping on our coffees.
"Why are you really here Royce?" I asked, mimicking the exact same tone he used whenever he asked me that.
I think I saw the uplift of his lips. Oh my god! He's smiling.
"Nice one!" He said, looking in my eyes.
"You didn't answer my question." I kept the EVAN tone.
He nodded his head, turning a little towards me. There was only little gap between us yet it felt huge to me.
Screw Butterflies! I was feeling the whole damn ZOO in me!!
"You didn't have to run away just because I was there."
Instantly, I looked away. I stared down at my sandals. He knew. And as if I'd a choice... "I don't know what you're talking about."I dodged his statement and played innocent.
"I know you know, Reynold. I'm here to call truce. Please, let me."
"We never fought." I enlightened almost immediately, my hands fidgeting in my lap. He always made me nervous and I didn't like to feel soo.... I don't know.
I heard him sigh. He was trying.
For the first time, Nobody was trying.
"I'm here to apologize, Michelle. I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I shouldn't have behaved like that with you especially after all that you've done for me. You did nothing but, help me and be there for me even when I asked you to leave. I'm really sorry that I was a jerk to you. But," he took a small hiatus before completing his sentence, "I was trying to protect you, Michelle. You don't know me--"
"You never gave me any chance to."
He shook his head, running a hand through his messy dark hair. "That's not what I want to say... all I want is you to... deserve better. Better than me. I am nothing but, trouble."
I looked away, hoping he didn't see the hurt and glistening in my eyes.
When he didn't continue, I turned my eyes back at his. We held each other's intense gaze. "What are you protecting me from Evan? You're not trouble. You're one thing that seems sane in my crazy world."
He looked away, shifting a little further away from me. His eyes lowered towards his mug- protectively hugging in his hands. I wanted him to touch me-- the urge was just so strong. My heart ached.
I sighed, "That's it? You can't tell me anything? You want to call truce with me and yet, you can't trust me..."
"Reynold, do not stretch it. I said I'm sorry. I can't tell you anything. I just can't..."
"Why not?!" I snapped. Angry. Furious.
He retorted with edge in his voice. "Because, I can't... you have a perfect life and everything you want- why are you even giving it a damn?"
I snorted at the word perfect. Just so ironic, wasn't it?
Rolling my eyes, I shifted to face him. "Really Evan? Do even know what my life is like? You only see as a shallow, selfish, bully, who doesn't think about anyone but herself, who's rich daddy's little princess." I couldn't hold the anger inside of me anymore. I had to let it out because it was consuming me inside.
Tears formed in my eyes. I didn't want to cry.
He watched me talk but, didn't say anything. He seemed to be surprised? Shocked? God! I don't know.
"That's not what I think of you... you're not any of those thing, Reynold." He hushed looking down at his hands. Why wouldn't he look at me then?
I added, sudden peculiar feeling forming in my chest. I wanted to tell him things. Things about me. "Do you know what is perfect? Because I don't. Not even a bit. Having money and a big empty to myself house is what you call perfect? My life is no way close to perfect but instead far-far away from it." I glared at him.
He shifted close, to grab a hold of my arm but, I shoved him away and stood up.
"Don't..." my voice broke.
"Nothing in this world is perfect Nobody. Nothing. My best friend. . . she is not herself! She's not telling me who's she dating and what's going on in her life. She's even cutting school lately! I don't know what to do about that. Not really.
And then you, you despise me... No one hated me before. Or that's what I thought.
Am I a horrible person?! I don't know what wrong I have done. But, m-my whole life is tearing apart in pieces..." By the end of the sentence I realised I was crying.
With a swift movement he was in front of me and engulfed me in a surprisingly warm hug. My head resting against his chest. I hated myself for feeling so weak and helpless. I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me. Does he care for me?
He does...
"I don't hate you Michelle... You're not a horrible person and neither have you done anything wrong, in fact, you're the only person that makes sense to me." he hushed, with each word his heartbeat sped up.
My heart almost ceased on those words and a smile appeared through my waterwork.
He doesn't hate me. You're the only person that makes sense to me.
The remaining tears flowed down and I sobbed a little drenching his hoodie- which he doesn't seemed to mind. His arms were securely wrapped around me. It was the best moment of my life. I had never felt that safe before.
We stood like that in that position for few minutes which felt like seconds to me. Probably because, they were only seconds.
"I never meant to hurt you..." he whispered, griping me a little more tighter in his arms. Right there in his arms, I forgot how screwed up my life was.
"But, you did." I surd, unexpectedly. Recalling all those times he hurt me.
He loosened the grip around me, allowing me to pull away.
"I-I should go..." I said, looking away and leaving the remaining of my amazing coffee on the step, hoisted my handbag onto my shoulder, ready to leave.
I just took a step down when he grabbed my arm, causing me to halt and turn back at him.
When he didn't say anything, I raised my brow at him. He stepped down and dangerously closed the gap between us. I was standing close enough to breathe in his strong cologne and relax myself. He comforted me in a way, I never understood.
His fingers slid beneath my chin, causing me to look up at him. Having no choice, I stared in those gorgeous brown eyes. Tears prickled at the back of my eyes but, I held them back. Enough with the crying.
Just then, I noticed that his eyes had traveled down to my lips. Just like yesterday. My stomach flipped so hard, causing me to feel weak to my knees but, his hand on my waist made sure that I wouldn't fall down the stairs, hit my head and die.
"Why did you suddenly threw me out yesterday, Evan?" I asked referring about my KICK OUT. I needed an answer.
"Because," he pulled me even closer, if that was possible. His cold breath fanned on my face, tickling me. "If I hadn't..." he paused to look back in my eyes.
His hand rounded the corner of my waist, causing our bodies to touch. My heart thudded so loudly in my chest that I was afraid it might explode right there in his arms. "then what Evan?" I whispered, daring him to speak. His eyes drilling into mine, "I would have kissed you."
I closed my eyes, to grasp his words.
WHAT THE HELL?!
WHAT DID HE SAY?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
I opened my eyes when I abruptly felt his hand separating from my waist. His breath no longer tickling my lips. He stepped aside and without a glance back, he left.
He was gone.
Just gone...
He can't go after saying something like that!!!!
❤️💙❤️
Oh my god! Did you guys hear that?
Yayaya.
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D<3