September 6th 2000.
New York, New York.
Detroit, Michigan.
"Please don't leave me" Jordan pouted as she sat with her legs crossed on my bed, watching me pack up the last of my things.
"Aww, come on Jordan. Don't make me feel worse than I already do" I said with a grunt as I forced a stray pair of heels into my suitcase. "Besides it's not like I'm leaving you all alone. Mikes moving in" I reminded her.
"I know, I just can't believe this is your last night here".
"Jesus, I'm not dead" I laughed in an effort to lighten the heavy atmosphere. I jumped up and down on the top of my suitcase to squish in the last of my clothes and with some struggle, managed to zip it closed.
Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she looked it me with a look of pure sorrow. "It won't be the same".
"Oh Jords! Don't cry please" I ran over to her and gave her the tightest most comforting cuddle I could manage. "We won't change I promise. I still have to come to New York once a month, maybe more, to meet with my boss and we are only a two hour flight from each other remember?"
"I guess so".
"You're my sister! You know that right? Blood is thicker than water" I squeezed her shoulder as a gentle reminder.
"We're not actually related Cassie" she smiled, obviously heart-warmed by my rare sentimental statement.
"Well sometimes you're about as annoying as a sister is".
"You always have to ruin a nice moment don't you?" she shook her head and let out a shaky laugh. On the bedside table my phone buzzed from a text message coming through.
From: Lil' Kim Hey babe! What are you and the girls up to tonight? x Received: 4.39pm
To: Lil' Kim Nothing yet, whats happening?Sent: 4.40pm
From: Lil' Kim Come to mine tonight at 9, I'm throwing a leaving party for you :) Received: 4.40pm
To: Lil' Kim Kim, you're the best!Sent: 4.41pm
From: Lil' Kim So I'll see you then? Received: 4.41pm
To: Lil' Kim Yes! Can't wait x Sent: 4.41pm
Jordan cheered "Fuck yes! Kim's parties are the best".
"Now I have to find something to wear" I muttered whilst staring at all my clothes I'd worked so hard at to pack, I really didn't want to have to rifle through them all.
"I've got something you can wear". Jordan ran to her room and returned with her stunning and yet simple elegant blue dress. The one from her wardrobe that I'd admired all year and continuously nagged her to borrow.
"Your Gucci?" I gasped. Jordan was very particular about her designer brands and usually wouldn't let me any where near them, considering how clumsy I was.
"I want you to have it" she thrust it into my arms, in it's protective plastic covering.
"What? No way" I attempted to shove it back to her but she stood back and shook her head in refusal. "Come on Jordan take it back".
"Think of it as a going away present" She fluttered her hands above her head, dismissing my protests. "Besides you'll look way better in it than I ever well, I don't have the ass" she joked.
"You're insane!" I laughed whilst holding the dress at arms length so I could properly admire it. "You're the best Jordan, thank you" I said sincerely.
"Don't even think about it. Let's get ready, we can go out to dinner first?"
"Can you text Amy then please? Tell her to meet us at the Thai place" I called out to Jordan's back as she walked to her room to get ready.
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"The girl of the night is here!" Kim squealed from across the room as the three of us walked into her luxurious apartment. She looked stellar as usual; adorned in a white halter bra top and matching white skirt, all whilst being draped in very expensive jewelry. Everyone in the room turned and cheered over the loud music making me blush and bow my head in slight embarrassment from all the attention. I waved at her and motioned towards the kitchen to meet me in there, which she nodded to and excused herself from her circle of admirers. Kim had invited all of my favorite people in New York from my and her crew to some of my more famous friends; like Missy Elliot and Timbaland. The music was loud, Aaliyah's beautiful voice blaring throughout the room making people dance all over. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Jordan quickly leave my side as she spotted Mike playing ping pong with someone, I forgot he was in Kim's circle too. She squealed in pure joy as he picked her up and spun her round, there foreheads resting against each other. These two would be married and pregnant soon enough.
"Let's get a drink" I spoke to Amy as I linked arms with her and headed into the direction of the kitchen. I barely made it through the kitchen door before Kim jumped up behind me and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist.
"Cassie!"
"Hey Kim" I laughed as she let me go and quickly spun me around.
"So I had to find out just yesterday your moving?"
"I'm sorry, I've been so busy. And I only decided earlier this week so-"
"I'm just kidding girl, but I will miss you like crazy! You're my partner-in-crime" she smiled at me as she grabbed three beers from the fridge, popping all the tops off and then giving me and Amy both one. "Amy tells me your moving for a boy".
"She is" Amy grinned at how out of character and absurd this was for me. I'd faced the torment of Amy and Jordan all week because of my decision. They found it very hard to believe I was willingly making a big step like this in a relationship.
"It's mainly for work. It just so happens that we work together. Well, kind of".
"And this him is who again?" Kim egged me on as her and Amy giggled mischievously together.
"Shut up Kim you know exactly who it is" I smiled into my drink, taking a swig."Kim you need to keep an eye on Amy, cause I can't do that anymore".
"I don't need looking after" Amy argued.
"Yeah you do" Kim and I both said in unison.
"Is this my intervention right now?"
I nodded "You're the sloppy drunk Amy, everyone knows it".
"If I'm the sloppy drunk then what are you?"
"The-" I started.
"Thinks they're sexy drunk?" Kim asked earning a nudge of agreement from Amy.
"Exactly" I winked before clinking my beer bottle with the two.
"Honey, your phone is going off" Kim nodded towards my phone that I'd placed on the kitchen counter.
I saw Marshall's name flash across the screen and I immediately opened the text.
From: M Are you out?Received: 9.34pm
To: M I'm at Kim's why? Sent: 9.34pm
"What's that about?" Kim asked.
"Just Em" I answered simply as I stared at my screen confused, waiting for his reply to come through. For some reason when I was around other people I always called him Em, not Marshall, unless I was with D12. I don't think I ever have, or ever will be able to call him Eminem. It's too odd for me. Moreover, why did he want to know where I was? As far as I was aware we didn't have anything to talk about, we both knew I was coming to Detroit tomorrow. I would fly out, and my belongings would be picked up by one of his people and driven out to us.
"Ugh, he's calling me. I'll catch you guys up in a minute" I hinted at them to leave the kitchen so I could pick up. They both uttered their 'okays' and left me to myself. "Hey?" I questioningly greeted. I wasn't very pleased that he was calling when I was meant to be enjoying my final night with my closet friends.
"How come you didn't tell me you were going out?"
"Oh hi Marshall, how are you?" I ignored his question, pointing out his rudeness.
"Yeah hi. Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded irritated, not that I had a clue why.
I pinched the bridge of my nose as if to ward away a headache. "Because I didn't have to? Where the hell is this coming from?"
"I expect you to tell me where you're going that's the fuck where".
"Are you fucking kidding me right now Marshall?"
He heavily sighed before continuing, something he often did to control his anger. "No I'm not".
"I am not doing this right now. My good friend is throwing me a leaving party and I'm gonna enjoy it without my jealous boyfriend calling to interrogate me".
"I ain't interrogating you".
"Should I expect you to tell me when you go out? In fact, are you going out tonight?" I flipped the script on his double standard.
"Actually, I'm with my daughters" he proudly declared.
"Good! Then go spend time with them instead of bothering me for no reason".
"Cassie..." Marshall firmly warned.
"Goodbye Marshall. I'll see you tomorrow". Hastily I hung up the phone so I could have the last word. What was he playing at? I had no idea where this was coming from. I had heard murmurings from Lil' Kim and briefly from Proof that Marshall had jealous tendencies when he was in relationships, but I had never seen this side of him before. Shaking of the negative conversation I sauntered back into the main room where the party was still going off. I walked right up to the table with the hard booze and poured myself two shots worth of Hennessy, downing the strong liquor in one swift movement.
"Girl, Hennessy?" Kim came up behind my and looked at me sympathetically. "What did that boy say on the phone?"
"Nothing" I began to slightly move my body to the Busta Rhyme's "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See" in an attempt to get into the partying mood that Marshall had successfully squashed.
"Come on...".
"He's just being a jealous asshole for no reason. But I don't want to talk about it, okay? You threw this party for me and I want to have fun".
She nodded knowingly and grabbed the Hennessy bottle off the table "Enough said". She took a swig of the liquor and then placed it at my lips "Let's get fucked up" she giggled as I opened my mouth and willingly accepted the drink.
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The last thing I remember from the night before was when Kim poured a shit load of Hennessy down my throat. After that it was all a blur. In the morning I'd said an extremely emotional goodbye to Jordan and Amy, who crashed at my now old apartment. No tears were shed on my part, Jordan and Amy cried enough for all three of us. Solemnly I made my way to the airport and thankfully for me the alcohol was still wearing off on the plane which meant I wasn't as nervous as I usually was. Presently I was placing some of my clothing and toiletries into Marshall's room and en-suite. We'd hardly said a word to each other when I'd arrived, just a quick kiss and hug. He told me he was busy and that I should go unpack a little, but I think he was avoiding our inevitable argument. After I had relocated some of my belongings I decided to go talk to him properly. I walked down the flight of stairs and stood in the doorway of the dining room where he was sat at the table. "We need to talk about last night".
He frowned, his lips forming a tight line and his eyes remaining glued to a document Tracy had sent him. "Go ahead" he muttered.
"Can you at least look at me?" He sarcastically chucked the document across the table and looked at me intensely. I chose to ignore his attitude and instead focus on the real issue. "I really don't understand why you called me last night".
"I called 'cause I wanna know where you are when you go out" he stated bluntly showing no emotion on his face. He wasn't giving me a proper answer,which was beginning to piss me off. Instead, he repeated his same answer from before.
"Do you not trust me?" I accusingly asked.
"No, I...-"
"I don't know much about you and Kim's relationship, but from what I've heard you were both really jealous towards each other".
"Don't you dare speak on things you have no clue about. You don't even fucking know her or what happened between us" he spat out the words like they were venom. Raising his voice and clenching his jaw tightly. I knew it was a touchy subject, but I didn't know just how much.
"I don't want to be in a relationship where there is no trust and someone is constantly breathing down my neck".
He sighed and looked down at his hands which were locked tightly together in frustration. "Look, it's not that. I don't trust other people aight?"
"What are you talking about?"
He sighed again and flicked his eyes up to mine quickly before looking down again "Don't pretend like you don't have guys all over you".
"But that doesn't matter because I'm not with them am I?" I didn't deny that people came up to me when I was out, because they did. They approached all of my group. I wasn't sure if they really thought we were beautiful or if it was because of the people I hung around and the some what of 'status' we had in the club scene. Marshall did approach me in a club after all, I guess he was attracted to the same thing as all the others.
"I ain't stupid Cassie, I know you could get with any guy you wanted". I wasn't sure if I was turned off by or drawn towards this more vulnerable side of Marshall. Regardless, I definitely preferred it over his jealousy.
"And you could get with any girl! You're Eminem remember?"
"They don't interest me, they're the same in every city. They're not you" He declared in a gruff voice. I smiled at his words which made my heart flutter ever so slightly, a foreign feeling for me. It felt likes nervousness and excitement all rolled into one, but better.
I sat down on his lap which made him lean all the back in the chair so he could grip me by the waist comfortably. "That's my whole point too, I'm not interested in any body else. I want you to trust me enough that I would never go there, and if someone else did I would tell you". He stared at me with a look in his eyes that said he wanted to push it further, he wasn't satisfied with my answer, but he knew it was the only one he would get. I wasn't going to let his insecurities stop me from living my life. He nodded and I gratefully accepted this was the only approval I was going to get. "Gracias" I placed a gentle kiss to his temple. As I moved away he held me by the back of the neck and lowered my face to his giving me a proper, hungry kiss. I gratefully returned it and ran my hands under his shirt and over his chest, his warmth radiating onto my hands. I switched positions to straddle him, and took the opportunity to kiss his neck as his hands moved under my shirt.
I felt his fingers play with my bra clasp, toying with the idea of undoing it. "You have no idea how badly I want to bend you over this table and fuck you" he groaned whilst I moved back and proudly looked at the hickey now covering his collar bone.
I traced over the hickey and lightly pressed it, earning a quiet hiss of discomfort from him."Later".
"It's always later" he moaned.
"Later, so you can have me any way you want. As much as you want" I wiggled my eyebrows at him suggestively. I also didn't fail to notice the effect my words had on him, right underneath my leg.
"In that case I think I can wait" he grinned at me. "Oh hey, I got something for you" he patted down his pockets and retrieved a simple gold key. "You'll probably need this now". I stared at the key in his hand without taking it "What now?" he huffed.
"I really need to talk to Kim please. To clear the air".
"And you can't take the damn key before you do that?"
I ran my finger over his eyebrow to soothe him, his eyes closed at the touch. "I don't want to do anything behind her back".
"I told her you were moving in".
"Please".
"Fine". He patted my bum for me to move and I did, watching as he picked up his phone and dialed a number. "Who are you calling?" I asked.
"Kim" he spoke quietly in case she picked up. I nodded and chewed on my lip anxiously, remaining quiet so I could hear her voice.
"Hello?" she spoke into the phone, just loud enough so I could hear.
"Yeah hi, it's me" Marshall greeted flatly.
"What do you want Marshall?"
He gave me a small reassuring smile. "Have you got the girls? Cassie wants to come over to speak to you".
"Who's Cassie?" she snapped. I was one hundred percent certain she knew me. She had met me, albeit briefly.
He groaned in anger "I told you Kim, she's my girlfriend".
"Oh, her".
"Do you have the girls?" Marshall repeated obviously agitated that she was dodging his questions.
"No, they're at the neighbors for the day".
"Good. We'll be over in 30 minutes".
"Fine" she replied and then the line went dead.
Marshall shook his head and stuffed the phone back into his pocket along with the key. "Let's go" he clapped his hands.
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We drove quietly to Kim's house as I used the time to think about exactly what I wanted to say to her. My anxiety had made me an expert at mapping out potential conversations in my head. "You're nervous" Marshall observed.
"She hates me" I mumbled. My knee bobbed wildly up and down to which Marshall noticed and placed his warm hand on top of it, squeezing lovingly. He didn't say anything in reply,a probably because he knew it was true.
"We're here" he pulled up her driveway and put the car in to park.
"Mierda" I muttered under my breath as I got out of the car and we walked up to the door. Marshall sharply knocked three times as I stood behind him, his body sheltering me in some way.
Kim answered the door with a stony look and stood aside "Come in". Marshall walked first and I followed giving Kim a weak smile to which I received nothing. We walked into her living room and sat on the long aged leather couch opposite to her. An awkward dominating silence came over us, none of us quite sure how to begin. "Well I'm sure as fuck not talking first, I don't even want you two here" Kim scoffed as she glared at me.
"Kim don't" Marshall ordered.
"Don't tell me what to do. You are in my home to talk to me, I can say what I want. Besides I don't want either of you here. Especially not her" she raised her chin to me, hers arms staying crossed tightly over her chest.
"Kim, I just wanted-" I started, trying to make my voice as neutral as possible, disguising my actual feelings.
"I don't like you" she snarled and bent forward with an angry-confused expression. "Seriously who the hell do you think you are coming into my family and breaking it up? We have kids together! You come along and weasel your way in, fucking everything up" her voice was thick with emotion and I actually felt some sort of sympathy for her. I could see through her tough exterior.
"Kim I didn't know he had a family when we got involved. If I did I would have never gone there, believe me. I'm not a homewrecker".
"But you knew he was married at the time right?" she smiled that smile when you think you've caught someone red-handed.
Marshall interjected taking some of the heat off me "She didn't know, and she got really mad at me when she found out. Not that it fucking matters we weren't together and we hadn't been for months. I wasn't cheating on you".
"When I found out I immediately broke it off with him, even though we weren't officially together. I never wanted to see him again, and I even told him that I felt for his wife because she deserved so much better" I tried my best to defend myself even though it sounded like a weak argument. Kim looked shocked, like she didn't have a comeback so I decided this was my best opportunity. "Kim, I am sincerely sorry if you think I broke up your family. From the outside looking in I can see how you think that. But that was and never will be my intention, I couldn't live with myself knowing that a child let alone a partner was involved in an affair. I have no doubt that you are an amazing person Kim, and an amazing mother. Just from the sheer fact you adopted Alaina I can tell you have a kind heart. It's understandable why you'd hate me, I would too" I paused to recollect my thoughts. Although I didn't look at him, I could see Marshall intently watching me. Kim's face had softened slightly, particularly when I said she was a great mother. "I don't want to get in between you and Marshall. I want you two to have a relationship for the sake of your children, and yourselves. I'm not stupid, I know that it would be unreasonable to assume you would cut off all communication with each other. I want you to be friends".
"You're not their mother" Kim's voice cracked on the last word.
"I know, and I would never take that away from you Kim. You are their mother and always will be, I'll only be involved as much or as little as you and Marshall want. I never want to overstep the boundaries and make you feel uncomfortable".
"Shit" Kim whispered, avoiding eye contact with my for the first time.
"What, is that not enough?" Marshall angrily accused.
A tear rolled down Kim's cheek which she wiped away almost as quickly as it appeared, she looked at me with watery eyes. "I thought you were this massive bitch that wanted to ruin my life and take my children away from me, like I thought you had with him" she motioned to Marshall who looked taken aback by her vulnerability. "You're actually just a sweet girl who wants to make sure no one gets hurt" her head fell down again and she picked at her finger nails.
I turned to Marshall for some sort of guidance but he just shook his head in disbelief and shrugged, great help. "Can you give us a minute?" I sweetly asked. He nodded and shook his head again as he walked out of the living room. "Kim are you alright?"
She shook her head and her body slightly trembled, tears streaming endlessly down her face. I sat uncomfortably unsure what to do, awkwardly fiddling with my fingers. If it was one of my friends I would comfort them, but I wasn't sure if she would want that. Only five minutes ago she hated me. Fuck, I can't watch this poor woman bawl her eyes out without consoling her. I rushed over to her couch and tentatively sat beside her, carefully resting my arm around her shoulders. She flinched initially but didn't remove my arm from her. "I can't believe I'm crying like this in front of you. I'm a wreck" she sobbed.
"It's fine" I hesitantly reassured.
"I'm sorry for being such a raging bitch to you that day at Marshall's house" she sniffed.
"Thank you Kim. But I know that's not the only reason your crying".
She wiped her face smudging her mascara even more around her eyes "I shouldn't be talking about it with you...it's not right".
I softly asked "You're still in love with him aren't you?" Even though I had never been in love myself, I knew the signs well enough. The couple of times Amy and Jordan had been heartbroken they acted just like this; defensive and un-bothered before finally breaking down in tears, right onto my shoulder. Her eyes sadly burned into mine, saying everything that needed to be said. "I'm sorry Kim, I know how hard that must be" I sympathized.
"We were together for 13 years, 13 years. Then suddenly, he's just not in my life like that anymore. How are you meant to get over that?"
What do I say to that? I'm sorry that really sucks, but he's mine now? "I know that one day you will find someone that loves you as much as you love Marshall right now, and you will be so happy with them that you won't remember ever feeling like this. You deserve someone that loves you like you could never even imagine. You're worth that" I squeezed her hand.
"He deserves you" she sadly smiled.
"Kim, don't say that".
"No it's true. I was awful to him and he was awful to me. I love him but I know we don't work well together as hard as it is to admit. You are so lovely Cassie, I think you'll be a good together.
"Thank you Kim" I reluctantly accepted, trying my best to ignore the strangeness of this conversation.
"No thank you Cassie, you didn't have to be as nice to me as you were" she stood and pulled me into a brief hug, which for shocked for the umpteenth time this afternoon.
"I should get back to him" She walked me to the door and we said a brief goodbye. I ducked into the car where Marshall was waiting for me to which I received an expectant look from him. I let out a confused laugh "Well, that was bizarre".
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Author's Note: Hi everyone! What do you think of Cassie and Kim's talk? I'm so sorry for the late update, I was not motivated at all to write this chapter. I'm kind of feeling insecure in how my story is going, I'm not sure where to take it next :/ I'm trying to figure out some kind of direction/ story line but it's just not coming. So if you have any suggestions let me know.
Also, I'm really not sure about Marshall's character anymore I don't know how accurate it is. I think I've made him a bit too lovey-dovey, or changed him too much since the beginning of the story. Question (please answer!): What do you guys think of Marshall's character? Like how he speaks, acts and everything? What can I do to improve his character? I'll listen to everything you say, don't hold back!
I hope you enjoy the chapter and have a great day, sorry for the negative tone of this note. As always please vote and comment! I love interacting with you guys, you're all so lovely x
BTW! I thought you guys would like to know that a boy from where I live is meeting Em in America for the make-a-wish foundation! Apparently he's going to meet up with a group of other make-a-wish kids who's dream is to meet Em, and they are getting a visit from him! Isn't that cool? He's actually doing stuff guys lol, he's not such a hermit. I think that is so sweet of him, and he doesn't boast about it or anything. He's the best aw.