I crawled tighter into a ball and then blinked several times, no matter how hard I tried getting back to sleep my body was too used to waking up at six o'clock sharp.
I yawned quietly and then slowly got out of bed, shivering with the shock of feeling the cold morning air hitting my skin. I always had loved just laying in bed but if it meant spending less time looking at my son then I always chose getting out of bed.
I walked to the white cot, Archie was led on his back with his fingers outstretched, his eyes flickering as he slept. His tiny baby fingers clenched into little balls and then unclenched wide, a small smile appeard on his cheeky face and his eyes opened wide almost as if he could sense me watching him.
A smile spread to my own lips and I made a little cooing noise to hopefully stop him from crying but in Archie's world, hoping wasn't good enough.
His cry pierced my ear drums and I straight away put my hands in the crib, scooped him up and then rocked him back and forth in my arms, walking towards the kitchen to prepare him some milk if he were hungry.
He twisted in my arms as I waited for it to be the right temperature and then put it in his bottle, he wriggled around making me knock over a jug which fell to the ground and clattered into hundreds of pieces.
I bit my tongue, not wanting to say anything even remotely close to swearing for fear of Archie hearing it.
"What's going on? Sounds like a burgular!" Paul, my step mothers son hissed from the sofa.
I spun around to look at him, his hair was a complete mess and he looked very very hung over.
"Aww...Drink to much did you?" I asked him as he got up, stretching and then picking up the pillows that lay on the floor around him.
He was twenty one years old, young face that the girls adored, full head of mess dark blonde hair, muscular body and very arrogant with it too.
"It's called having fun." he yawned and then put his hands to his head as if to sooth a headache.
"Well whatever you call it, I can't wait to see the latest pictures of what you got up to, I'm sure there will be the token slut in the mix somewhere." I muttered as I put Archie in a rocker so that I could pick up the mess of the broken jug.
"Oh believe me, there were loads of sluts there last night." he smirked and then looked into the distance, smiling even more, "Although there is one thing that was strange last night."
"What was that? Somebody said no to you for once or even stranger, you said no to somebody else?"
"There was no declining of anything on the table. What I mean is that last night, I'm pretty sure I saw an ambulance headed the direction of Butlers house." Paul raked a hand through his hair and then went to Archie, waving at him and pulling a funny face.
I looked away from Paul who was waiting for an answer and just froze for a couple of seconds, could something of actually happened to Mr Butler? Who cared anyway, he was an asshole, right?
"Well that could have been anybody." I said under my breath, dumping the remenants of the jug in the nearest bin.
"I doubt it unless somebody else lives in his house with him that neither of us know about, I saw the ambulance drive right up to the front door-"
"What were you doing in his garden again? I thought after the last time that you would have learnt that it's trespassing and that you will have to spend hard time in prison if you do trespass!"
My cheeks beamed red as I remembered the last time Paul was caught in his garden, drunk and high in the sky. It was the last time he used drugs although it obviously wasn't the last time he acted like a child and went to terrorize the neighbourhood. I'd had to sacrifice a week of holiday to stop Paul from getting sent to jail.
"I wasn't in his garden....well I will admit that was probably where the night was going but I wasn't gonna stay there if he called people with blue lights, believe me seeing the look on that mans face when he clearly did not want to be disturbed was enough to put me off from walking within a mile of his house, he looked mad."
"Paul, could you do me a favour?" I asked him as I walked towards the bathroom.
"What?"
"Look after Archie until the sitter gets here."
"Well when is he/ she, please tell me it's a she? But when is this hot sitter getting here?" I could hear the amount he was eager to meet her and according to him, having a baby was a good way to pick up a girl, they were the best wingman.
"Nine o'clock." I said and then began to get ready.
My phone buzzed with excitment as I drove towards Mr Butler's house, all the messages and missed phone calls I got were from coworkers obviously wondering where the hell Mr Butler was and why he wasn't at work trying to make even more money.
I ignored each one, if they wanted to gossip then that was fine by me but I was not going to be a source of truth. Besides, the all got the day off because they couldn't get into the building so they should be pleased.
I ding donged his doorbell and it played a clear doorbell song but nobody answered for several minutes and I began to fear that Paul was right, Mr Butler had been injured or as I knew it, he had deteriorated.
"Mr Butler, please open up! It's me, Sarah!" I yelled, banging on the door.
If he wasn't answering because he was angry at me then both my life and his was too short for him to act like a child and ignore me. He had too little time and I was one of the few people who knew this, who would be there when he drew his last breath if I wasn't?
"Mr Butler! This is being childish! Just let me in!" I yelled and banged on the door even harder only for my hand to drop as the door flew open.
"My my my, Gerad sure has changed his type." the woman on the other side of the door said.
Gerads ex wife.
"Ms Butler." I said through gritted teeth, this woman was not worth getting angry over.
She was the type of woman that only married for money and the way she was dressed easily showed this. She was covered in orange tan, her hair bleech blonde from proxide and she was clearly alot older than the platic surgery tried to make her look. She wore clothes that a twenty year old should wear; a leopard print plunge dress that hugged her figure tightly, leather thigh high boots and a designer pink leather jacket to go over the top of it.
She looked fake.
"Sandy...Shelly? That's it! Shelly! It really had been too long." she smirked, slouching against the door frame in a super model/seductive hooker like pose.
"It's Sarah and I hardley notived you'd gone. Where's Mr Butler?" I asked, looking behind her as if he was hiding for some reason.
"You mean Gerad? I'm guessing you two really are only on a working relationship then! Considering the clothes you're wearing honey, it's obvious he didn't buy them!" she laughed and pulled a cigarette packet from her pocket.
"Excuse me but my relationship to Mr Butler is none of your business-"
"Actually honey it is considering I'm his wife and his next of kin, which means every little penny once he cops it is mine and mine only. You see that business you work for? Well as soon as Gerad's six feet under, it's mine. So that means you're my employee, do you understand me now?"
"How is it your's if you divorced Mr Butler-"
"Details, details! Long story short I never signed the divorce papers which makes me, Mrs Butler. And right now honey, Mrs Butler wants you off of her land." she lit the cigarette and blew a big puff of smoke in my face making me cough and gag in disgust of the smell.
"I'm not leaving until I speak to Gerad- I mean Mr Butler so-"
"Well you'll be waiting a long time considering he don't want to see you-"
"I think we'll leave that up to his decision? Don't you?" I smirked as he stumbled across the hallway floor, standing close to his wife but rubbing him temples as if she were a head ache in herself.
"Sarah." he nodded as he greeted me. There was a grey tint to his skin, bags around his yes and he wasn't stood as broad shouldered as he normally was. His body was curled over a slight amount but it was the amount normal people stand at, not enough that he looked ill.
"I ermm....Just came to see how you were?" my cheeks shone red, what had I expected to do when I'd come over here? Convince him to be a completely different person and not an asshole? I'd hadn't thought it through, all I'd done was argue with this 'wife'.
"As you can see I am fine athough I think you were just about to go inside and make me some dinner, weren't you princess?" he said to his wife he smiled at him but it was fake just like their relationship and, well her chest, her lips, her nose, her ass, her waist line, her cheeks....
"Of course honey boo." she cooed and then disappeared but not before shooting me a look.
I gagged mentally in my head and then focussed on Mr Butler, "Have I completely gone insane or something?" I asked him.
"No but I think I have. Sarah, I would be more considerate if you did not argue with my wife, you may not like her but she is still my wife and I would prefer if you did not disprepect that." he said, turning away as if that were the end of the conversation.
"What? She started it!"
"And I thought you were supposed to be more mature, not rising to it?"
"Well..." I wanted to say 'she is a cow' but I gave up, this arguement was pointless.
"Good day." he said and then slammed the door shut, right in my face.
Once again. He'd shut me out.
Dear Journal,
Sleep has escaped me, as I lay beside my sleeping wife wondering how to best get rid of her and not have to listen to her winey voice,I wonder what the true purpose of her life is.
Can I personally know what the true meaning of her life is when I have not yet decided my own? I believed for a very long time that my life belong to the lines of being a success in business, having my wealth and being envied for what I had, not for what I didn't....Where did a life of optimism go, now I believe that I have become pessimistic, hopeless in changing a life I have burdened with my greed.
And now I wallow in self pity, a rich man but not any riches worth of value I have to show for. An incomplete portrait will lay in my wake, no family other than myself to present themselves in it, the complete opposite of my predecessing ancestors.
So what is my plan now? I, Gerad Butler have been well renowned for having a plan, deception in some respect was how I managed to run a successful business. Is there a chance I can decieve death? No, no chance when my illness is terminal.
None whatoever
Mr Gerad Butler