Jokes On You!
A leo Valdez One-Shot for Kkitkat
I was so going to get her this time! Leo Valdez, head counsler of the Hephaestus cabin thought, grinning. Kathy is gonna die from this-die laughing! He laughed to himself as he ran up to the pavillion where everyone was eating. A girl with blonde hair and tanned skin waved to him and he bounded over.
Leaning down, he whispered in her ear “Meet me at the dock at midnight?”
She smiled that gorgeous smile that gave me a funny feeling deep in his stomach, “Alright, see you then.”
He headed to the Hephaestus table and sat beside his friend Nyssa, who was arguing with a younger boy, but stopped when he came over.
She gave him a funny look and he raised his black brows “What did I do this time?” he asked, sighing.
“Why do you always talk to that Kathy?”
He shrugged “She’s my friend,”
“I know, which means there must be something wrong with her.”
Leo thought for a moment, and his face clouded over when he understood the insult “Hey!”
Nyssa shrugged “What, she likes you, doesn’t she?”
“Its not like that! We’re just friends!”
Leo hadn’t realized his voice was so loud, and his tanned face flushed as his own table and a few others looked over at him.
“I mean, uh-of course I’m not a pedophile!”
Nyssa groaned and looked away “That makes no sense, Leo. I just meant she tolerated you-to some extent.”
Leo’s face was now bright red and he quickly finished his supper, escaping the laughing eyes of his fellow campers. He fetched something from his cabin –a building of solid metal with whirligigs and blue prints everywhere- and went to set up the prank for Kathy.
As he put the finishing touches on his prank he remembered the first time he had ever met Kathy…
It was a sunny day at CampHalf Blood and Leo was bored. He had finished all his projects and the pile of scraps under his bed had lost all interest to him.
With a sigh he left bunker nine and headed down to the pavilion, where he thought maybe it would be fun to prank Mr. D’s new megaphone. He really liked that megaphone.
Mr. D had just ordered a new megaphone with extra power and had all these extra gizmos. Leo approached the loading dock for Delphi’s Strawberry Service, where the camp supplies and mail was put, fully prepared to fiddle with the lock, but to his surprise, it was already open.
Leo looked cautiously around the door, ready to shoot fire from his fingertips if needed. Stepping into the room, he heard muffled noises from behind a huge stack of boxes.
He peeked behind a bunch of boxes to see a girl with dirty blonde hair falling midway down her back and quick slightly tanned hands fiddling with a megaphone.
“What’cha doin?” Leo asked, stepping behind her.
“Ahhh!” the girl yelled and dropped her tool.
“Ahhh!” Leo yelled at the same time and fire flew from his fingertips, lighting the girls slim eyebrows on fire.
“My eyebrows are on fire!” the girl yelled in a whispery sort of way, so no one caught them
“I know!” Leo yelled/whispered back.
“Of course you know!” the girl yelled/whispered “You’re the one who set them on fire!”
With a hurried wave of his fingers, the fire was put out and the girl sank to the floor. Leo sat beside her, breathing heavily.
He turned to her, a silly grin spreading across his round face “Hi, I’m Leo.”
She gave him a shy glare and looked at him with brown eyes the colour of chocolate under dark lashes.
“Are you gonna tell me your name?” he asked, smiling.
She shook her head and gave him another glare.
“Well, I guess I can’t apologize then,” he said, settling back on his elbows.
“I have no eyebrows.” The girl said, leaning against a pile of boxes and inspecting her brow in a large pot.
Leo cast a glance at her and realized she was rather good looking-even if she didn’t have eyebrows.
“Who needs eyebrows, anyway?” he asked “They don’t do much. Just unnecessary hair on your forehead, don’t you think?” the girl didn’t say anything, so Leo pressed on, determined to win her over.
“So what where you doing with Mr. D’s megaphone?”
“None of your business.” She said.
“Well, I came here to mess with it, so why don’t we mess with it together?”
She gave him another glare, but this time it wasn’t nearly as hateful as before. More curious.
Leo smiled and took the megaphone in his hands and they started to work their magic. He pulled small tools from his magic tool belt and every now and then the girl made a suggestion.
Before long, the megaphone was tampered with and put back in its packaging, looking as if no one had ever touched it.
Leo and the girl walked out of the shed, locking it behind them. Leo was smiling, but the girl was not.
They walked in silence for a while, just wandering. Then, she spoke.
“Kathy,”
“What?” Leo said, startled out of his thoughts.
“My names Kathy,” she smiled at him for the first time and Leo felt something deep in his stomach when she did.
“Well Kathy,” Leo said “Now that we’ve committed a crime together, I think you’re rather a good choice for a partner.”
She smiled again and Leo got the same feeling deep in his stomach. “Okay, so…partners?”
Leo smiled and held out his hand. They shook and smiled at each other.
“Partners,” he agreed.
Leo smiled to himself and put the last touch on his prank, leaving it in waiting for Kathy. She was going to go crazy over this he thought and laughed out loud at the thought.
A bunch of Aphrodite girls gave him weird looks and he smiled at them.
“What? Never met a crazy guy before?”
The girls gave Leo a weird look and hurried away, making Leo smile with satisfaction.
At quarter to twelve Leo sneaked out of the Hephaestus cabin and headed down to the dock, where Kathy would be in a few minuets.
He hid in a group of trees not far from the dock after putting the prank in place and waited for her, grinning with anticipation.
Soon, Kathy appeared. She was wearing red flannel pyjama shorts and a white tank top along with her flip flops. Her blonde hair was out, tumbling down past her shoulders and framing her tan face perfectly. Leo fidgeted as that feeling erupted in his stomach.
“Leo,” Kathy called, a smile on her pretty face, heading towards the robot Leo made, which was standing with its metal behind to Kathy. In the moonlight, Kathy easily mistook it as Leo.
“Leo?” she said, putting a hand on the motionless Robot Leo.
“Jokes on you, Kathy!” the Robot Leo said mechanically, turning around and bringing out a sword Leo had stolen from the armoury.
Kathy stood still for only a second, and with a smile and a laugh like bells her sword appeared from the charm bracelet on her wrist.
Leo knew how much she loved that sword; her mother Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom, had given it to her at the beginning of camp. It meant the world to her.
“Love it, Leo, very original!” Kathy said as she swung her sword at the robot.
Then –and it went so fast Leo nearly missed it- the robot Leo tripped and fell onto Kathy, knocking them both into the water.
Leo scrambled out of his clump of bushes and whipped of his shirt and dived into the water, heart beating a thousand miles a minute. The water was dark, even with moonlight filtering through the dark waves it was hard to see.
Leo swam through the water, eyes open wide, looking for Kathy’s slim form. As he approached a bed of seaweed, he caught sight of her pale face surrounded by her hair and seaweed. Her body was entangled in the green plant; it looked as if it was holding her still, rocking her to sleep with the gentle sway of the tide.
He swam toward her and broke the seaweed in impatience. Wrapping her arms around his neck, he swam back up to the surface, gasping for air.
He laid Kathy’s pale form on the dock, shivering violently from his midnight swim. Without hesitation, he put his lips to Kathy’s –blue from cold, and as still as the stars in the sky- and started to do CPR.
When I said she was gonna die from this, I didn’t mean it-not literally, anyway! He thought, tears spilling over from his brown eyes.
She lay still, not breathing, but as Leo put his lips to hers she started to cough. Leo helped her sit up, and moved her long hair away from her face. After she had gotten all the water out of her lungs, she blacked out again, and her breath stopped.
Okay, she’s not breathing. Now what? Leo thought.
Uh, CPR dude. Duh, are you really that stupid? His conscious thought back.
Already did that, all the waters out of her lungs, so why isn’t she breathing?
Just save her before you have a death on your hands! Serial killers don’t ever get the good chicks. So get to it!
Leo looked at Kathy’s pale face, lit up by the moonlight and wet with lake water. He thought of never seeing her smile again or hearing her laugh. Never seeing Kathy again hurt him in a way he hadn’t felt since his Moms death.
Tears falling don his cheeks onto Kathy’s, making it looked as if she were crying, too, Leo rested his lips on hers and breathed air into her mouth.
But he didn’t remove his lips from hers, and found they were moving along. He was kissing her. And she was kissing back.
He cupped her head in one hand and held her waist in another, and she sat up on her elbows.
They parted and Kathy smiled at him, and laughed lightly.
“Jokes on you, Leo.”
Leo smiled “I thought I’d never hear you say that again,” then he kissed her again, and she kissed back.
“Will you be mine, Kath?” he whispered.
“No,” she said, face straight “I’m sorry Leo, but I can’t.”
“Oh, uh, sorry. I guess I’ll go then.” He got up and so did Kathy. He walked back down the dock, when she called his name.
“Leo,” he turned and she was behind him. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like he’d never been kissed before.
“Jokes on you,” she smiled “Yes, Leo. Yes I’ll be yours.”