The following month flew by. Alice had quietly accepted the fact that she had fallen in love hard and fast. She knew going in that she would hurt, but she hadn't known how much. The first thought she had every morning was of Rainer, and the last thought she had every night was of Rainer. If it wasn't for work she would have lost it.
She hadn't had time to focus on her dissertation since she had returned from Texas. In fact, she hadn't even wanted to look at it because it was the reason she had met Rainer, but Alice had vowed to herself to finish the draft by the end of winter break. She had started to re-read the books that Steven Douglas had written, but they were different then she remembered, they seemed more familiar to her. She guessed that it was due to the time that she had spent away from the project. It had given her a fresh perspective, and she was eager to get into Rainer's interview notes to see if they helped her make the project more complete.
Alice sighed as she pushed her way into her apartment. She had promised to go to a benefit concert this evening with her family. She had put them off since she had returned from Texas, but she couldn't do it any longer. Her father had said something about needing to provide a united front for Frank's latest campaign. She had even bought a new dress for the evening hoping it would bolster herself image.
Her hair had grown out and she had trimmed it into a bell cut that Grace said made her look delicate. The dress that she had chosen was a 1950s style and was reminiscent of a famous dress worn my Marilyn Monroe. It was a halter top, that didn't allow for a bra, a high banded waist, and a full skirt. It was ultra-feminine, showing off her tiny delicate shoulders, small waist, and full curves to their best advantage. The color was white just like Marilyn's dress and she had picked three inch stilettos to go with it.
That evening, after she was dressed, she was quite pleased with the result. She felt and looked sexy, and it was a shame that she had to cover the dress up with her winter coat, but luckily they were having a warm December so at least there was no snow on the ground.
A car, sent by her father, picked her up and she rode alone to the theater. When she arrived the lobby was full and warm, and she was glad that she had chosen the dress it would keep her cool. Alice took off her coat and checked it so that she wouldn't have to worry about keeping up with it, oblivious of the admiring glances she was getting while she searched the crowd for her family. She eventually saw them which meant that she had to join them. Slowly, she walked towards them, but they were chatting and didn't even notice her until she reached them. The dress was more than worth it when they turned and saw her. Her mother and father looked thunderstruck, her sister looked peeved, and Frank looked lecherous.
They did their best to cover their reactions and greeted her sedately.
"You look lovely dear," her mother said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
It was the first time her mother had ever said that to her, and she had to blink back tears. She stood there for the next few minutes people watching and vaguely participating in the conversation, she was pleased when she saw Grace by the bar getting a drink.
"Would you excuse me I see a friend." Her family looked confused. She had never before seen anyone she knew at one of these events. "I'll be right back," she promised.
She moved as quickly as she could towards Grace, not wanting to lose her in the crowd, and when she reached her, Grace smiled and gave her a warm hug.
"I am so glad to see you. You look damn sexy," Grace said, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she pulled away to admire the dress.
"You look good yourself." Grace always looked good. She was a classic beauty with pale skin and raven black hair that she wore pulled back at the sides so that it fell in a long cascade down her back. She had on a long midnight blue silk sheath that suited her perfectly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Cassie is performing, so I'm here with my husband and his brothers. It is hard to be the only woman in that bunch. The looks they get from the ladies makes me feel defensive. Almost like a mother hen. Why are you here?"
Alice motioned over her shoulder. "I am here with the family."
Grace and Alice moved away from the bar and further into the crowd. "Is the F word with you?" Cassie and Grace had started calling Frank "the F word" awhile back, and Alice thought it was a hoot.
Alice scanned the crowed and found them standing over by the entrance doors to the theater. "Over there, by the doors. My sister is wearing the sparkly red number."
Grace studied them. "Well your sister is lovely and the F word is decent looking, but as we well know looks can be deceptive." Grace and Alice studied them covertly for a minute.
"You know, I think he has a bald spot," Grace said as she sipped her drink.
Alice looked at Frank then looked at Grace and they busted out laughing.
"What am I missing?" A very tall dark and handsome man came up from behind them and put his arms around them both, and Alice jerked away out of reflex.
"I want to apologize for my brother-in law. He thinks everyone is his friend before he meets them. Alice Grant meet my brother-in-law Mason.
Alice held out her hand. "Pleased to meet you Mason."
"Don't tell me you don't know who Mason is either?" Grace looked dumbfounded.
"Of course she does. Everyone knows who I am," Mason argued. If anyone else had said it, it would have sounded conceited, but he made it sound charming.
"Nope, sorry, I'm a news junkie and a heavy reader, so I'm not with the in crowd.
"Don't worry about it Mason, she didn't even know who Cassie was," Grace reassured him.
"That hurts me even more." Mason held his hand over his heart.
"Here comes my husband." Grace waved at another tall dark and handsome man over the crowd. While Mason looked charming like the boy next door, Grace's husband looked regal and aloof. He looked like a powerful man that was used to getting his own way.
"Don't worry, he's really a very large marshmallow," Mason said, sensing her concern.
Grace was cozying up to her husband as she introduced him. "Bryce, this is my friend Alice."
Bryce took her hand with a polite smile. "Alice, it is a pleasure to finally met you." Alice was thrown by his English accent, but she felt it would have been rude to ask questions.
"Here is my other brother. If you're such a news junkie you should know him," Mason joked.
Alice looked in the direction that Mason had pointed, and she was lucky it required her to turn her back on the other three because all of the color drained from her face when she saw Rainer. He looked devastating in a tux. He was clean shaven and his hair freshly cut. Alice swallowed hard. He was on the phone, but he looked up briefly at his brother's comment, right into Alice's eyes. She saw surprise for one brief moment before he masked it and then turned his back to them after a lift of his finger to say he would only be a minute. Alice closed her eyes taking a deep trembling breath. She had never been so glad for the noise that a large crowd made in her life.
Grace walked up behind her. "He's just as rude as the rest."
Alice gave a polite smile, not turning to look at Grace, holding as still as possible.
Rainer finished his phone conversation and turned back towards Alice, his face betraying no emotion.
"So Alice, do you at least recognize Rainer?" Grace joked.
"Sure, I've seen him on the news several times." Alice clenched her hand on her small clutch purse even tighter.
Rainer raised an eyebrow in question to Alice's response. Alice read it as if he were asking 'so you want to play it like we've never met'?
But Grace read it as a response to her question.
"Well who knew Rainer was more famous than me," Mason chortled.
"Alice Grant, this is Rainer Stevens. It seems Alice is not keeping up with pop culture because she had no clue who Cassie and Mason are," Grace responded to Rainer's raised eyebrow.
"Stevens?" Alice asked, turning to Grace, praying that her face had regained some of its color. "Your name is Winston?"
Grace's eyes widened in surprise. "At school it is, but everywhere else it's Stevens."
The bell chimed, telling them all to take their seats. Alice looked over her shoulder to see her father waving at her.
"I have to go, I'm being summoned. It was a pleasure to meet you all." She gave a smile that encompassed the whole group. She gave Grace a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you Monday." Then she let the crowd swallow her.
"Was that Bryce Stevens you were talking to?" her father asked as she rejoined her family.
Alice nodded mutely.
"Can you introduce him to Frank?"
"I don't think so, that might be over familiar since I just now met him."
"Really Alice, you could do more to help," Madeline whispered in her ear.
"Why on earth would I do that?" Alice whispered back.
The overture started and that, thankfully, ended the conversation.
Frank somehow managed to place himself between Madeline and Alice, and as they settled into their seats he kept touching Alice, and every time he did she jerked away.
"Now Alice, don't be like that. We had fun, and we could have fun again." He ran his finger up her arm. "Why didn't you dress like this when we were going out?"
"Because I didn't want to encourage you, you were hard enough to fend off when I didn't try, I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had tried."
Alice forgot all about Frank soon enough.
Rainer was where her mind was. Seeing him had crushed what little bit of her heart was left. He had promised to let her know if he ever got to New York, but obviously it was a promise he hadn't intended to keep. She knew in her head that he wouldn't look her up, but she had hoped in her heart that he would.
She felt a sharp pain in the area if her chest and held as still as she could. As long as she didn't move she would stay in one piece. She slowly cleared her mind and let numbness settle over her.
Then Cassie took the stage and the song she sang was "What'll I do."
Her raspy haunting voice filled the theater putting into words what her heart felt, and when Alice felt a tear on her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She was held captive not only by Cassie's voice but by the song as well. She wanted to leave and the song seemed to be taking forever.
Finally, the song ended and the applause was thunderous. Everyone rose from their chairs to give Cassie a standing ovation. Alice, who couldn't take another moment, rose from her seat and quickly left the theater, the sudden pain in her head blinding.
She made it to the ladies room just in time.
A little while later she decided she could try to make her way home, so she left the safety of the restroom to get her coat. As soon as she entered the lobby she saw Rainer leaning against the wall.
"Are you all right?" His gaze traveled the length of her body but remained passive.
Alice nodded slowly. "It has just been an overwhelming night." She moved past Rainer towards the coat check counter, passing her ticket to the young girl behind the counter. After she had her coat, Rainer took her arm and led her to a quiet part of the lobby.
"Was that Frank?" he asked, pulling her onto a bench behind a potted palm. She could feel the imprint on her arm that was left by his hand.
"Yes." She couldn't look at him. To see him would hurt.
"Grace was quite outraged that they sat you next to him. Did he touch you?"
Alice did look up at him at that. "I don't see that it matters. At least to you," she said softly.
"Damn it Alice, I told you I'm not a serious guy." He stood up and started to pace.
"All I asked for was a friend, a little respect, and a promise to let me know if you are ever in New York, that was all I asked of you."
She watched as he ran his hands through his hair.
"Am I so easy to discard?" she asked herself. Not paying attention to Rainer as she looked inward. First it had been Frank and now it was Rainer, so she must be easy to discard.
She missed the look of deeply evident pain that crossed Rainer's face at her words, and she also missed the look of pain turn to anger. "So you decide to look my family up, push your way into my circle, make sure you would be where I would never be able to forget you." He lashed out.
"What are you talking about?" Her look of utter confusion seemed to upset him more.
"Pretending not to know who Cassie and Mason are, come on Al, who do you think you're fooling?"
His use of her nick name quickly enraged her.
"If you really think that of me..." She quickly rose, but he grabbed her arm and just as quickly dropped it as if it had burned him.
Alice still felt the need to defend herself, her innate need for honesty winning the battle over her outrage.
"I met Grace Winston," she emphasized Winston, "in September, our offices are right down the hall from each other. I certainly did not plan that. Grace brought Cassie to my apartment and only introduced her as Cassie. I was not introduced to Bryce until this evening, and he was only introduced as Bryce. I mistakenly assumed that his name was Bryce Winston. Mason was also only introduced as Mason. Not until the moment he introduced you, his other brother, Rainer Stevens, did it click, and even then it wasn't a quick leap for me to make. So without ever having heard the name Stevens how was I supposed to connect those dots?"
He reached out and grabbed her arm again.
"No!" She pulled away.
They were silent staring at each other like caged animals.
Alice shook her head, the heart break in her eyes becoming evident, but it wasn't because he didn't want her, it was because after everything he believed she was capable of such deception.
She reached around to the bench were her purse and coat lay and slowly picked them up. When she looked up she saw Bryce standing behind them. She had no idea how long he had been standing there, but she gave him a weak smile as she headed for the lobby doors.
"I'll help you get a cab," he said as he held the door for her. More than willing to help her out of Rainer's life no doubt. He held out his hand and a cab stopped instantly, and she couldn't help but be impressed, that never happened in New York.
He held the door open for her. "One question Alice." He looked at her quizzically.
"Why didn't you greet Rainer as a friend when you saw him? Why did you pretend that you didn't know him?"
"Rainer likes his privacy. I didn't think he would appreciate having to explain our relationship to others. I know I wouldn't." She shrugged as she got into the cab.
"There, you've done his dirty work, tell him he won't have to see me again. I'll find some excuse and I'll stay away from Grace and Cassie too." she said coldly.
"Don't do that, I think you and Grace have a true fondness for each other and as you said, Rainer likes his privacy."
She met Bryce's sky blue eyes. Eyes just like Rainer's. Despite herself she liked him, she really wanted to hate someone, but it couldn't be him. Alice gave a curt nod and pulled the car door closed.
Bryce walked back into the lobby and looked at Rainer. He was sitting on the bench in the lobby with a grim look on his face, and Bryce sat down next to him without saying a word, and they sat in silence for a few minutes until Bryce felt compelled to speak.
"She was telling the truth."
"I know, she always does, no matter how uncomfortable it makes a person. She actually shocked poor Quinn to the point of spitting out his coffee."
"I see, Alice was the woman that you took to the house this summer." Bryce mulled that over before continuing. "Just out of curiosity, how come you didn't keep your promise and contact her when you got back into town?" He was watching Rainer carefully.
"You heard it all, didn't you?"
Bryce nodded.
Rainer shook his head. "I'm not the right guy for her. If I had looked her up we would have picked up where we left off, and she deserves better than that. She deserves a forever kind of thing, and I don't have the time for that."
"So she was easy to discard." Bryce was still watching Rainer carefully.
"No!" he shouted as he jumped from his seat.
"Think hard about this Rainer. When I thought, I mean really thought, of Grace ending up with a "better man" than me it just about killed me. I had all the same thoughts and doubts you seem to have, but in the end it was the thought of her with another man, in another man's bed, that convinced me." Bryce met Rainer's eyes, wanting this next statement to hit hard. "Grace has told me Alice is dating. She has the best time trying to fix her up and hearing all about her dates, so know that you will inevitably hear about it second hand through Cassie and Grace's chattering."
Rainer just shook his head as if to say that wasn't a concern he had.
Bryce rose buttoning his jacket. "That's good because she is going to stay friends with Grace and Cassie-"
Rainer looked at Bryce sharply.
"Grace won't find out about you two from me or Alice. She knows you better than you think."
"Who Grace?" Rainer looked confused by the abrupt change.
"Alice, I asked her why she didn't greet you as a friend, and she said she didn't think you would appreciate everyone knowing what went on between you two."
Bryce looked towards the theater. "I had better rejoin the others, are you coming?"
"I had better," Rainer said joining Bryce.
"So, Quinn really spit out his coffee?"
"Yes." Rainer gave a slight smile at the memory as Bryce shook his head in disbelief.
Bryce watched Rainer closely and thought perhaps he had judged Rainer's feeling for Alice incorrectly. He seemed to be the same Rainer he always was. He was easy going for the rest of the evening, keeping them all laughing with his stories during dinner and through drinks afterwards.
Rainer excused himself just after midnight saying he had an early flight and headed back to his hotel. When he entered the empty dark hotel room he felt its coldness like he never had before. He didn't bother to turn on the light as he walked over to the window to look down at the lights below.
He had done his best to convince his brother that there was no problem and he didn't know why? Bryce wouldn't judge him for admitting his weakness.
That was it. He saw wanting Alice as a weakness. He had wanted Yvonne and it had left him open and vulnerable. He did not want to be that vulnerable ever again. He reached up and untied his bow-tie.
When he saw her it had thrown him, and he had had to turn his back to compose himself.
She had not been as good at it as he had been. Her face had lost all of its color and her eyes, he closed his eyes at the memory. All of the hurt she felt was in her eyes, he had seen it.
Rainer knew that he had hurt her just as bad as, if not more than, Frank had. He ripped his jacket off and threw it across the room before he moved decisively towards the mini-bar.
He was going to get drunk. That would make him forget.
Forget how she had looked in the sexy white dress that hugged her curves and made her so feminine. He had an image of him stripping it off of her slowly. He could remember very well what lay beneath that dress.
She had been in so many of his thoughts over the past few months. He would find himself thinking, wait until I tell Alice, or this would make Alice laugh. He had dreamt of her, of their nights together. He had experienced ten times more passion with her then he ever had with Yvonne, and to him that meant ten times the pain when it was finished. Not just for him but for her as well. He thought about what Bryce had said about her dating then just as quickly as he had the thought he pushed it out of his mind. He wouldn't even go there.
He downed a couple of bottles.
Then he remembered her hair. It had grown out and curved around her small delicate face; her face had looked so hurt. Did he really make her feel as if she was easy to discard?
He grabbed his jacket and raced out of the room before he could think.