Colifer: One Shot
Beep. Beep. Beep. I reached over, grabbed my phone, and turned my alarm off. Today was Comic Con, the day Oncers had been waiting for since last year's. Though I loved Comic Con, it was also a day that would cause/has caused lots of drama amongst the fandom. Ship wars start, especially amongst Swan Queen and Captain Swan. Simple seating arrangements and interview pairings often caused big fights and outbursts, not to mention photoshoot pairings. Last year, it was planned that Colin and I would have a photoshoot, but it was cancelled because of haters, as our planned engagements normally were. And, if by the grace of God our events were not cancelled, we would be hated on by about half of the fandom. It used to bother me, and I used to go with the flow because I didn't like controversy. However, today will be different.
Today, I decided I will do what I want and follow what I feel the Captain Swan fandom (and I) will enjoy...without the worry of backlash from non-Captain Swan shippers. I am tired of tip toeing around Colin just because of haters. They will always have something to say regardless of what I do.
After a few minutes of lying there, my phone started ringing, I looked to see who it was; Colin. It wasn't unusual for him to be calling me. During the days we film, I often over sleep, so he calls to wake me up and make sure I get to set. Even if he knows I'm awake, some days he'll just call to say good morning, and I still get a goofy grin each time I see his name pop up on my screen.
"Good morning Jenniferrrrr."
Colin was talking in a sing-songy voice. I laughed every time he did that.
"Why, good morning Colin."
"How's my sleepy head this morning?"
"I'm good! I can't wait for today."
"Me either, Jen. I can't wait to see you. Come to my room when you're done getting ready, alright?"
"Sounds good, I'll be there."
"See you then!"
I hung up. I pulled my covers off and saw my dress hanging. First I had hair and makeup, then our panel would start shortly after.
After about an hour, my hair and makeup team left, and I was ready to get dressed. I slipped it on, careful not to mess up my hair, which I left with a bit of natural wave and a simple side braid. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door to Colin's room.
I walked down the hallway and passed Josh on the way, coming out of Colin's room it seemed. Their relationship cracked me up...
Finally I found Colin's room on the left. I knocked on the door and heard no answer.
"Colin? Colin, its Jen. Are you in there?"
Thankfully he gave me a spare room card the night before. I slid the card through the door and I was in.
"Colin I'm here, where are y-"
As I walked in, I saw Colin shirtless in the bathroom, with only his pants on. I'd seen him shirtless before, but each time, the feeling I got scared me.
"Oh sorry I didn't know you were still getting ready, I'll come back later."
I tried turning around and leaving but I caught myself staring.
"Jen, staring is rude!" He started cracking up. My cheeks were flushed. He continued.
"No, don't leave. I'm just about ready love."
He buttoned up his bright blue shirt that made his eyes pop. God, he looked so handsome. When he finally came out of the bathroom fully dressed, he looked me up and down for what seemed like eternity. My heart started beating fast, and I wasn't sure why.
"Do I look okay?"
"Jen you look..."
He continued looking at me. The way he looked at me scared me. It was as if he saw something in me that I didn't even know I had.
"You look absolutely stunning...absolutely gorgeous."
Our eyes locked for a few seconds. I got butterflies in my stomach.
"You look amazing too! Are you ready for today?"
"It should be a ton of fun, huh?"
"It will be. Let's go."
About a half hour later, the whole cast was waiting patiently backstage for Yvette to call our names. Finally, she announced me.
"Up next is the beautiful and fierce Emma Swan played by Jennifer Morrison!"
I walked out to screaming fans. I smiled and waved, not sure how this Con would go. But I was excited to find out. Shortly after she introduced Colin. Whenever he was next to me I felt safe and at peace in this chaos, so I was thrilled when he walked out, sat next to me, and gave me a little look of reassurance. The whole panel was buzzing with excitement, as were all of the fans. The con started off fairly normal. Yvette asked some questions about season 5 and tried asking for hints for season 6, though Adam and Eddy did not divulge much. Finally, she jumped to Colin and me.
"Colin and Jen, this is a request directly from the Twitters, or as I like to call them. Somebody's head needs to go on somebody's shoulder and somebody needs to put their arm around someone, you know what I'm talking about, you guys did something adorable on your own that we now want to recreate for this panel."
I glanced at Colin and giggled. He was smiling from ear to ear. Part of me questioned what would happen next, but before I could process it, Colin leaned into me and wrapped both arms around my shoulder. He then rested his head on my other shoulder and stayed there for a while. I got shivers up my spine, and all at once didn't think of consequences. It was an uncontrollable feeling. I pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head. For that second, I breathed him in, closed my eyes, and felt whatever this feeling was. It didn't last long, but that made my whole day.
The rest of the panel was fun. Colin continued to make me crack up, even when his jokes made no sense. He was hilarious and so charismatic. We swapped a few looks as we usually did. There was something about him that made me instantly smile, feel at peace... feel at home. He was truly my best friend.
After the panel, Colin and I surprisingly found ourselves doing multiple photoshoots together. They weren't cancelled for once, and we were ultimately thrilled. This was one of the first times we had done a photoshoot just the two of us. At the beginning, we were both a little nervous. I tried placing my hands on his shoulders, then just one, then gave up. We both giggled like nervous teenagers, but it only took a second for us to get completely comfortable. Then, it seemed this photoshoot was a good excuse to be close...
I rested my head on his shoulder for a few shots, he held my hand in his for a few. I couldn't get close enough to him. Our heads often collided and I could feel his breath on my neck. Though this was for Captain Swan, it felt just like Colin and I were being ourselves, doing this because we wanted to. I denied the thought, then welcomed it again. Colin was my "everything" and he didn't even know.
After the photoshoots with just us, we shortly after did cast photos for Entertainment Weekly. For the first few shots, Colin and I stood next to each other. He was holding my hand, and in one, didn't look at the camera. He was caught by the camera, staring at me like he had back at the hotel. The feeling rushed back, and as much as I tried pushing it down, I couldn't anymore. The photographer helped me with what it seemed, I now depended on to continue breathing.
"Jen, get more comfortable with Colin. Get a little closer."
"Yeah Jen, get over here!"
He winked at me and I was pulled by gravity. The next 30 seconds rushed by me. After this blur, I found myself on Colin's lap. We were both giggling, and he pulling his hands through my hair. It only took a minute for him to look at me that way again. The way that Hook looked at Emma, but maybe, if possible, deeper. The look confused me, but it somehow made sense. Maybe Colin felt the same way I did.
After the photoshoots had finished, we did little press interviews. As always, Colin made everyone laugh, especially me. I often found myself with my hands resting on his shoulders, or his on my leg. It seemed too natural to deny, but we let go in just enough time to keep ourselves from falling. As if we hadn't already...
Finally, the end of the day had come. It was a great day spent with the cast, especially Colin. I'd missed him so much. It seemed I was always craving his presence. More and more often, I woke up in the middle of the night, wishing he could be there to laugh at Tumblr posts with me...watch re-runs of Once Upon a Time...talk about deep things we'd never dare to share with anyone else. After enough of these sleepless nights, I realized I felt more for Colin than I ever had for a man before, and it scared me. I could never tell him...could I?
I walked into my room and locked the door. I slipped off my dress and threw my hair off my neck. I put on my pajamas and slipped under the covers. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone started ringing. Even for Colin, it was unusual to be calling so late. But it was, it was him.
"Colin? Is everything okay?"
"No Jen, it's not..."
"Colin, what's wrong?!" My heart was beating out of my chest.
"Jennifer, I need you". The way he said that statement made me hear a desperation, a breathiness I'd never heard before.
"I'll be right there."
I was worried. Was he hurt? Did something happen with him and someone else from the cast? I was confused. With a worried look, I ripped the door open, only to find Colin standing there.
He stared at me for a few seconds, and I could see a fire burning in his eyes. I only recognized this because I could recognize the same look in myself...one I had pushed away, one that continued to creep up on me all day today.
"Colin I thought something was wro-"
He cut me off. He leaned in and kissed my lips hard. I tasted the desire on his breath, the need on his lips. I kissed back, giving him everything. I knew how hard I had fallen when I realized I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to be here in this moment, with Colin O' Donoghue. Forever. He pushed me up against the wall, fire still burning.
"Jennifer Marie, don't let me go another day without you."
"Don't let me", I said almost too breathlessly, revealing the same desire and desperation he had on the phone. He then leaned into me once again, kissing me with all he had. Comic Con 2016 became the best night of my life, and would shortly after reveal the love Colin and I had kept quiet for too long.