-CHAPTER TWELVE-
Thirty-eight hours. Thirteen minutes. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two seconds.
Sirius Black felt completely and utterly hopeless, sat on a cold, half broken chair in the middle of the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. He'd taken a brief moment away from his worries to care for his godson, to reassure him that he was goddamn Sirius Black, and he assuredly wouldn't lose his life to some sort of petty veil, but even that conversation didn't last all that long. In fact, it hadn't even occurred to him that the members of the order would think that he had died - for he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that it hadn't appeared to have mattered.
What if he never looked into her warm brown eyes ever again?
What if he'd never have help controlling Moony on a full moon ever again?
What if he lost yet another of his best friends - another one of the marauders?
What if he never had the opportunity to tell her how much he loved her?
Sirius had cursed the last perhaps most, and then felt guilty that he did so. He surely shouldn't be hoping that this woman - this fantastic, idiotically brave and unequivocally amazing woman - should live just so that he could tell her that he loved her just as much as she'd claimed to love him. Surely that was broken, and at that thought, Sirius chuckled hollowly. Maybe it was simply appropriate, after all, he was arguably a very broken man.
How terribly guilty he'd been feeling for months, knowing deep down that he might have been able to do something to stop Katherine from being taken. He could have done something to save her, but instead, he opted to stay in his room and sulk like a child. Oh what a fool he had been - and although she'd had full reason to resent him more and more with each month she'd been away, it was obvious that Katherine still loved him.
Moony had told Sirius as much. After Sirius had told him about how he was actually alive, Moony had been unbelievably surprised. He'd proceeded to tell Sirius that most of her injuries, and her internal exhaustion, was not apparition induced. He'd determined that Katherine must have known the risks before she'd concocted the insane, risk filled plot she'd then taken on in an attempt to save Sirius, but proceeded regardless.
"You're a lucky man, Sirius Black." Moony had told him, "Unbelievably so."
Sirius hadn't been able to agree more.
Mane's obvious forgiveness towards Sirius and Sirius' almost death had a positive effect on Moony, though. For the months she'd been missing, Remus and Sirius had been strained in their communication - most of the order, in fact, remembered one particularly intense argument the evening that Katherine had been discovered kidnapped, and ever since, regardless of Sirius' attempts to make things right, Remus had been terse and short whenever spoken to. It was a surprise to everyone who was ever in 12 Grimmauld place, for Remus was usually the most level headed and mature of the marauders, but surprisingly, things were different on that occasion.
"Any sign of movement?"
Sirius lifted his head up from where it had been resting on his arm and turned to face Remus - face littered with a shadow that screamed 'shave me' and eyes that were bloodshot from a lack of sleep, not for lack of others attempting to make him rest. Sirius had, a couple of times over the past few days, found himself lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with enough thoughts racing around in his head to induce a migraine. Needless to say that he hadn't, and probably wouldn't, be able to sleep until something changed for the better.
"No." He replied, voice deep and hoarse from a lack of use. "Nothing."
"She'll be okay." Said Moony, and Sirius didn't bother arguing. He would have reminded Remus that she very well might not be okay, but from the tone of Moony's voice, he was already aware of that fact. Nothing he ever said about Katherine's health was assured - after all, he wasn't a professional - but it wasn't like they were able to take her to a 'proper healer'. As soon as Remus had managed to whip off the offensive robe that Katherine had worn a few days ago, both men had recoiled at the appearance of a strikingly black, intricate, evil mark on the inside of her left wrist.
After spotting it, in fact, Sirius had trashed the dining room in a sudden fit of rage and in consequence, the order meeting for that day had to be moved into the living room where there hadn't been quite enough chairs. Even with Snivellus forced to stand, Sirius still hadn't been able to break out of the solemn frame of mind that he'd been forced into.
"I hope so." Sirius replied, and he probably would have been embarrassed by the emotion in his voice had it not been for the gravity of his other thoughts. "If she's not, I'd not be able to forgive myself. Damn it, I still haven't forgiven myself."
Remus had opened his mouth to reply when he was cut off by a sound that sounded oddly like a 'shh'ing sound. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head a little in Sirius' direction, the two of them, in the next instant, speaking simultaneously.
"Did you hear that?"
"What was that?"
"Seriously, guys. Shut up."
Both men sprang from their seats almost embarrassingly quickly. Sirius, who hadn't eaten or stood up for a while, stumbled a little out of dizziness, but brushed Remus off when he'd offered his assistance. As fast as he could, Sirius shakily made his way over to Katherine, looking over the figure who looked just as colourless and gaunt as she had the day before, wondering if he and Remus were both hallucinating. She didn't look like she was awake, let alone in a condition to speak.
"Maybe we made a mistak-" Sirius began, forlornly, eyes widening impossibly when one of Katherine's irritatingly frail, pale arms waved around and eventually smacked itself into place across his mouth.
"Shh." She croaked, "I feel like I have a hangover from hell, and you two pretending like I'm dead isn't helping."
Sirius' mouth widened into an impossible grin as he perched on the side of the make-shift hospital bed that he and Remus had crafted for Katherine so that her fragile body hadn't had to brace the jolting stairs or Sirius' mother's endless shouting.
"Okay." Sirius whispered, taking her hand in his and holding it gently. "I'll shut up."
"Good." She replied, face contorting into a grimace. "Ow, what did I do? Get hit by a truck?"
Sirius' expression morphed into one of panic as he scanned her as though he'd be able to see further injury. "What is it, can you not remember anything? Do you remember who I a-"
Katherine's hand broke out of his to find it's way back to Sirius' mouth, cutting off the speech that was becoming louder with every word.
"Again, shh. No. I don't have amnesia, it was a joke, you idiot." Katherine smiled softly, opening her eyes just enough to see Sirius' hilariously relieved expression. It quickly fell from her face as she saw the state of his eyes and the dark circles underneath them. At least he's clean, she supposed.
"C'mere." She murmured, shuffling over slowly to the other side of her make-shift bed, making a concerted effort to jostle herself as little as possible, "Sleep with me."
"I don't think you're ready for that, my love." Sirius smiled, cheekily, completely oblivious to what he'd just whispered as he lay next to Katherine, being incredibly careful as he did so. Katherine obviously wasn't one to be so careful however, as a moment later, she had tipped herself onto her side, laying an arm and a leg across Sirius' still form, her head lying comfortably on his chest.
Her body was in more pain than it had been lying flat, but she was undoubtedly more comfortable emotionally. If Sirius had protested, there was no way he would have won and he knew it - not that he would have particularly wanted to protest in the first place. Instead, he simply remained silent, opting to reach over her shoulder and lie one arm against her back, supporting Katherine against him whilst the other arm went behind his head.
For the first time in three days, Sirius Black was finally able to close his eyes and sleep. Katherine, as bruise laden, wound covered and bone healing as she was, was finally able to say that she was sure that even if he hadn't said 'I love you' explicitly, Sirius did love her.
And Remus? He had only found himself being able to watch half of the scene before he'd found it too intimate to watch. Later in the day he'd returned to take his wolfsbane from the side of the counter, and had left with a more contented expression than anyone had seen him with for a while. After everything, it seemed they'd finally reached the eye of the storm. Remus was wise enough to know that the times ahead were most certainly not going to be easy ones, not with that horrible marring on Katherine's wrist and Harry's scar still in perfect form, but he knew that for now, everyone and everything was okay.
Not perfect, not brilliant, not even good, but okay.
And for now, okay was good enough for him.
End.