I ignored Tyler all day. I spent the day locked in that hotel room. It got to around 8:15pm and I decided to call Tyler...
"Hey" I sighed.
"Hi" he replied.
"I'm sorry" I said trying not to cry. He could obviously hear the crack in my voice.
"Hey, hey, don't cry."
"I'm trying not too." I said.
"So... Are you coming to New Mexico?" There was a long pause.
"I uh..."
"Aspen you can go home if you want." I thought about home and all the bad memories I had there. I thought about my depression and self harm.
"No, I'm going to come with you." I said with a sad smile on my face.
"Can I come get you?" I could hear him sniffling.
"Of course you can baby." I cried and laughed all at the same time because I knew no matter what I would always go back to him.... He was the love of my life.
I texted Tyler the address and he came to pick me up.
The ride back to the bus was quiet and awkward; mainly because Josh insisted that he come and pick me up too.
I was wearing one of Tyler's muscle tees so you could see nearly my whole back and stomach. Tyler looked over at me and saw the scars from a few months back. I saw the heartbreak in his eyes. I suddenly felt extremely ashamed of myself and quickly put my jacket on.
"Don't feel ashamed." Tyler said, placing his hand on my thigh. I put my hand on top of his.
"I don't want you to be hurt because of me." I whispered.
He didn't reply and took his hand away. I swallowed hard and pulled my knees up to my face, resting my feet on the chair.
'From Eden - Hozier' came on the radio and I turned it all the way up. Tyler just looked at me and gave me this cute little sideways smile. He started to sing along to the chorus and I joined in tapping along to the beat on the dashboard.
Everything felt so normal, I felt normal. That feeling went away as soon as the song finished; we laughed for a few seconds but it became quiet and awkward again.
"So um how is the song writing?" I asked trying to break the silence.
Tyler sighed before responding.
"Fine." He spat very bluntly. I realised my attempt to make things less awkward only made things worse.
I decided to just stay quiet for the rest of the journey. I put my headphones in and zoned out.
We finally got back to the bus and I swore I had experienced the longest car ride of my life.
I didn't know where Tyler and I stood at that point but it definitely wasn't a good place.
"Hi guys." I said shyly getting on to the bus. Tyler rolled his eyes at me and and walked into the back room; I decided to follow him.
"What the hell is your problem Tyler?" I asked harshly.
"You." He responded.
"What have I done now? You saw my scars and started acting off with me."
"I try to help you but you say you are going to hurt me."
"Because I'm a grenade and when I explode I will destroy everything and everyone around me!" I yelled.
"Doesn't mean you have to push me away Aspen! I love you I don't want to lose you!" I bit my lip to stop myself from crying.
"It's inevitable Tyler!" He came closer to me and grabbed my shoulders tight, he kissed me hard but again I pushed him away. I couldn't do anything but cry and it was the same for him.
"I'm sorry Tyler." I took his hands and put them on my back.
"Why did you do that to yourself Pen?" He asked, lightly touching my scars.
"I don't know." I cried.
I wrapped my arms around him tight and I never wanted to let go; he rested his chin on top of my head and I nestled my face into his chest.
"Aspen?" He said softly.
"Yes Tyler."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
He turned around and took something out of his jacket; next thing I knew he was in front of me on one knee. I got a tingly feeling all over my body.
"Aspen Elizabeth Gregory..." He began.
"Yes."
"Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?" I was frozen. I didn't know what to say.
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Is she going to say yes or no???
-Jess