Kimberley drove slowly through the pitch black streets of Newcastle, looking slowly left and right.
Remembering.
Being back here made her feel like she was eighteen years old all over again; as she continued driving, she felt more and more vulnerable, scared, apprehensive.
It had been six years since she had last set foot in Newcastle.
Six years since she had ran away.
Six years without her.
Cheryl Tweedy.
The love of her life.
‘Excuse me… d’you know if I’m going the right way to the university?’
The small brunette girl turned to face Kimberley and smiled politely. ‘Aye, you’re almost there pet.’
Kimberley couldn’t help but watch her every move as the girl flicked her hair back and pointed. ‘Just turn left there, then carry on right up the road, right to the top til you get to the lights, then do a right, and it’s there. You’re not from around here are you?’
‘What gave me away?’ Kimberley smiled.
‘Don’t think I’ve ever spoke to anyone who’s not a Geordie.’ The girl laughed. ‘You sound like a lass off Corrie or something.’
‘Oh God, Am I that obvious?!’ Kimberley laughed. She was talking to a complete stranger, and didn’t feel at all awkward.
‘Only cos I watch Corrie.’ The girl replied. ‘I take it you’re just here studying then?’
‘Not officially… I’ve already moved here but todays sort of my formal interview.’ They just looked at each other for a moment.
‘Anyway… I better go, I don’t want to be late…’
‘Aye, I’ll walk with you then. Wouldn’t want you getting lost and making a bad impression would we?’ the girl winked.
‘…A-are you sure, aren’t you busy?’
‘Do I look it? C’mon I insist.’ she smiled, already walking up the road. Kimberley followed her.
‘So what’re you studying?’
‘Psychology.’
‘Bloody hell, really? You’re a smart one then!’
‘If you say so, err…’
‘Sorry pet, it’s Cheryl.’
‘Kimberley. Nice to meet you Cheryl.’
‘You too, that’s a lovely name, Kimberley.’
‘Aah. Thanks for saving me.’
‘You’re not there yet! What if I’m kidnapping you?’ she laughed. ‘Just kidding.’
Kimberley smiled back and went to turn right. Cheryl grabbed her hand. ‘Wrong way pet.’ She giggled. ‘Good job I came along after all.’
She steered Kimberley the right way then let go of her hand, leaving it tingling, and butterflies erupting in Kimberley’s stomach.
**
Kimberley found herself parked at the end of the street where Cheryl used to live, watching the house. She had no idea if Cheryl still lived there, if her mum did, or if they had all moved on. She didn’t even remember getting there, but she killed the engine, deciding to just wait. The house was in darkness apart from the one light at the front of the house. She contemplated going to knock on, but she didn’t actually know what she would do if Cheryl’s mum answered, or Cheryl herself. She had returned solely for the purpose of seeing Cheryl, but she still had no idea what she would say.
Kimberley jumped, pulled from her thoughts as the door suddenly opened. She held her breath as Cheryl’s mum emerged, threw a bag into the dustbin then went back inside. Kimberley exhaled, placing a hand over her heart. They were still here.
Kimberley didn’t move from her car for the rest of the night. She didn’t sleep; she just watched the house, watching for any comings and goings of anyone else from Cheryl’s family, since she didn’t yet know if Joan lived alone, or with any of her children. And she couldn’t risk running into any of Cheryl’s brothers.
**
‘Hey up! How was the interview?’
Kimberley jumped slightly as she exited the university building, turning to see Cheryl, the girl who had directed her there, sat on the wall opposite.
‘What’re you still doing here?’ she questioned. ‘Did you wait for me?’
‘No, I was just passing.’ Cheryl lied. ‘So?’
‘Oh, it was fine, everything confirmed and everything…’
‘Nice one pet! So you’re gonna be around for a while I take it?’
‘At least for the next three years!’ Kimberley grinned.
‘What’re you doing now?’ Cheryl asked, jumping off the wall and approaching her.
‘I was gonna go back to the flat and start unpacking…’
‘You got your own place?’
‘Yeah, it’s just a little one-roomed thing for students, you know…’
‘How about pushing that back a few hours? You up for being shown Newcastle by a proper Geordie?’
‘Why, can you find me one?’ Kimberley joked. Cheryl shook her head.
‘Very funny… Kimberley. Well? D’you wanna?’
‘I’m sure you have better things to do…’
‘Oh yeah, a million. But you’re like a lost sheep, you need me help.’ She winked.
‘Cheeky! Alright then, why not.’
‘Great!’ Cheryl grinned. She linked arms with Kimberley like they had been friends for years, and Kimberley felt those butterflies again.
‘Right, we’ll start with that caff right on the corner, it does the best coffee in the world, and the buns aren’t bad either!’
**
Kimberley stayed in her car throughout the next morning. She watched Joan leave early, and come back just after midday. Nobody else came out of the house, or went in. It didn’t mean she lived alone, but it was worth taking the risk. Kimberley forced herself to picture Cheryl’s face exactly the way it had been the last time she had seen her. She looked up and down the street several more times before finally getting out of the car and striding to the house, quickly so she wouldn’t change her mind.
As soon as Kimberley knocked, she nearly ran away. She was shaking. She was about to turn around when the door opened, and she stood face to face with Cheryl’s mother.
‘Kimberley?’ Joan said in disbelief. They just stared at each other, Kimberley not having a clue how to start a conversation after six years, Joan just taken aback by the girl on her doorstep.
‘Look at you!’ Joan whispered, shaking her head. She suddenly stepped outside and pulled Kimberley into a hug. Kimberley exhaled with relief as Joan rubbed her back. ‘Come in, come in, it’s cold.’ She said, ushering Kimberley into the house. She pointed her through to the front room, then quickly bolted the door.
‘Come in the kitchen, let us make you a brew.’ Joan said, but instead she stood in front of Kimberley, just looking at her. ‘Look at you!’ she said again. ‘You look so… grown up! How long has it been?!’
‘Too long.’ Kimberley croaked. ‘I… I’m so sorry for leaving, I--’
‘Sit down pet.’
Kimberley sat opposite Joan. She couldn’t bear the kind smile Cheryl’s mum was giving her.
‘If you want me to leave, I will.’
‘Don’t be daft pet, I’m happy to see you! You look wonderful.’
‘Thank you.’
‘What’s going on, love?’ she said gently. ‘Why are you here?’
She gets straight to the point I’ll give her that, Kimberley thought.
‘D’you want a cuppa?’
‘No thank you, I… I want to try and get my words out, then I’ll leave you in peace.’
Joan just waited, still smiling the same.
‘Is s- is Cheryl still here? Does she live here? Or nearby?’
Joan sat up slightly, her expression hardening. ‘You want to see Cheryl?’
Kimberley just nodded.
‘And why should I let you anywhere near her after six years? After what you did to her?’
‘That wasn’t my fault, what happened, I thought you understood that.’
‘I’m not talking about that Kimberley. I’m talking about the state you left my daughter in when you left her.’
Kimberley bowed her head, trying desperately to hold back the tears.
‘I don’t want to upset you pet.’ Joan said softly. ‘I really don’t, I just have to know.’
‘I’m so sorry… I thought I was doing the right thing.’ Kimberley said shakily. ‘I thought I was protecting her. I was going to come back for her, I was. B-but--’
She stopped, closing her eyes. ‘But what?’
‘Things… things happened. Life… got in the way. Before I knew it, it’d been over a year, and… I couldn’t come back then. I know she probably hates me. But I’ve loved her since I was eighteen years old Joan, I’ve never stopped, I’ve never forgot her, not for a single day. I have to try.’ Kimberley took a deep breath. ‘Will you tell me where she is?’
Joan stood up. ‘Wait here.’
Kimberley sat waiting nervously until Joan returned to the room. She pulled Kimberley to her feet and shoved a folded bit of paper into her hand. ‘That’s her address. You probably won’t catch her until… about half eleven tonight, at the earliest.’
Kimberley opened her mouth to thank her, but Joan kept speaking.
‘When you left, Cheryl was a mess. She was more heartbroken than I’ve ever seen anybody I know.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘If you see her, if you speak to her, and if by some miracle you get through to her… then get her out of here Kimberley, my daughter doesn’t belong here. And if she loves you as much as I think she still does, then she’ll go with you.’
‘What do you mean, she doesn’t belong here?’
‘You remember.’ Joan said. ‘You remember how things were. They haven’t changed, much.’
Kimberley followed Joan to the door, watched as she unbolted it and looked left and right down the street before opening it fully.
‘Thank you. So much.’ She said sincerely.
‘Watch your back Kimberley. And good luck pet.’
**
It was over six months after Kimberley and Cheryl got together that it happened. Six months in complete bliss, living in their own loving bubble until Kimberley finally discovered exactly why Cheryl had never taken Kimberley to her house, or introduced her to her family, why she never wanted to do things that involved going closer to what she called ‘her end’ of Newcastle.
They were tangled together in Kimberley’s bed, sleeping soundly when a furious hammering on the door woke them both up. ‘What the hell is that?’ Kimberley groaned, grabbing some clothes and throwing them on. Cheryl did the same, following Kimberley out of the bedroom. ‘Don’t answer it!’ she hissed.
‘Why?’
‘Cos it could be anyone!’
Kimberley turned to open the door. As soon as she did, three men – or rather boys – ran in. Two of them grabbed Kimberley and threw her against the wall, pinning her there. ‘STOP IT!’ Cheryl screamed. The third closed the door, standing there, trying to look intimidating. ‘I knew you’d be here.’ He said softly, looking at Cheryl. Kimberley struggled with the two boys holding her, but their combined grip was too much for her.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce us?’ One of them laughed, glaring at Kimberley.
‘…Kimberley… babe, these are me brothers. Joseph, Andrew and Gary.’
‘That’s right, babe.’ One of them sneered mockingly. ‘And that’s our baby sister you’ve been fcuking all night.’
‘Andrew! What the hell are you all playing at! Let go of her, now.’
‘Don’t dare.’ Said Joe.
‘Get lost, all of you! Who d’you think you are?!’
‘We’re your brothers Chez. And we’ve got a reputation. Get outside, right now, and we’ll follow you.’
‘No way. Gary, Andy, get your hands off her NOW!’ Cheryl ran at her brothers, but Joe caught her around the waist and threw her towards the door.
‘I said get outside! You’re going home right now and you’re never seeing this whore again.’
Cheryl straightened up and slapped her brother right across the face. The noise rang out through the room. He didn’t retaliate; he just smirked.
‘It’s ok, Cheryl, go.’ Kimberley said. She was actually really scared, but didn’t let it show. ‘Just go, I’ll phone you.’
‘You will not.’ Joe spat.
‘I’m not going anywhere til you GET OFF HER!’ Cheryl screamed.
Gary glanced at Joe, who shrugged, and they both backed away from Kimberley. ‘Don’t come near my sister ever again.’ Joe said.
‘Don’t tell her what to do, we can do what we like.’ Cheryl shouted.
‘I’m gonna belt you in a minute if you don’t GET OUTSIDE!’ Joe roared.
‘Not before you.’ Cheryl spat. ‘Kimberley, I’m gonna call you, can I call you?’
‘Of course you can.’
‘You will not.’ Joe said. ‘I’m warning you.’ He pointed threateningly in Kimberley’s face. ‘Stay away from my sister. I’m watching you… dyke.’
**
It was only afternoon, but Kimberley went straight to the address Joan had given to her. It was a bungalow on a main road, set between two long rows of houses. Kimberley parked in the opposite street across the road, so she could see the house clearly past the passing traffic. She wondered what Cheryl was doing to not be in until after eleven at night.
She spent the day just sat in the car, trying and failing to come up with something to say to Cheryl when she saw her. She had waited a long time for this. She felt sure that this was going to be the most important night of her life.
**
It was four days after the incident with the Tweedy brothers that Kimberley next heard from Cheryl, over the phone.
‘Kimba, it’s me.’
‘Cheryl! Oh thank God, I’ve been really worried… I’ve even been looking for you, even though I don’t know where you live… is that silly?’
‘Yes.’ Cheryl giggled. ‘Look, can I come round tonight?’
‘Of course. Are you ok?’
‘I’m fine babe.’
‘You promise?’
‘I promise, I’m fine. I’m so sorry about the other day Kimberley… I’m so sorry if they hurt you.’
‘Don’t be sorry, they didn’t, don’t be silly.’
‘What time can I come?’
‘Anytime, I’ll stay in now. Whenever.’
‘Thanks. Kimba?’
‘Yes babe?’
‘I… I love you Kimberley.’
Kimberley smiled. It was the first time any of them had said that, and she didn’t hesitate to reply.
‘I love you too Cheryl.’
‘Really?’
‘Really!’
‘sh!t, I’ve got to go.’ Cheryl hissed suddenly. ‘I’ll see you really soon babe.’
When Cheryl arrived that night Kimberley picked her up, swinging her around in a tight hug. Cheryl laughed, then gasped when Kimberley set her down and stiffened, her face twisted with pain.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing, I--’
‘You’re lying.’
Cheryl straightened up slowly, and lifted her jumper, revealing dark bruises adorning her left side. Kimberley’s hands flew to her mouth. ‘Who did that?!’
‘Nobody, I just fell.’
‘I’m not fcuking stupid Cheryl! Was that Joseph? Did he hit you?’
Cheryl nodded and burst into tears. Kimberley hugged her gently. ‘L-listen.’ Cheryl sniffed. ‘You have to understand something.’
‘I will never understand this, he’s supposed to be your brother. I’m gonna kill him.’
‘Please listen! Look, round here, being what we are… it’s not right.’
‘We haven’t done anything wrong Cheryl!’
‘I know that, but other people don’t see it that way! He’s looking out for us, he’s--’
‘That is NOT looking out for you Cheryl! Why don’t you get that?!’
‘Because other people have been threatening us!’ Cheryl screamed. ‘Not just me, you aswell.’
‘What other people, who?’
‘I don’t know, Joseph won’t tell us. They’re not just threatening me though, they’re threatening me brothers, me family, because I’m with you. Cos of what we are.’
‘What are you saying?’ Kimberley whispered. ‘Are you breaking up with me?’
Cheryl lunged at Kimberley, grabbing her face and kissing her hard. ‘Never. We just have to be more careful. I’m not gonna let them beat us.’
‘That doesn’t justify this.’ Kimberley said, resting her hand on Cheryl’s ribs and making her flinch. ‘He still didn’t have to do this, if this is what he’s trying to stop then why did he do this?!’
‘I provoked him, I asked for it.’ Cheryl muttered.
‘What a fcuking rubbish excuse.’ Kimberley spat.
Cheryl caressed her face, tears in her eyes. ‘Can we just… stop, please? I just wanna be with you.’
Kimberley kissed her forehead and hugged her again. ‘I won’t let anyone hurt you again.’
**
Kimberley sat in her car in the darkness, the radio on very quietly, just staring into space, thinking. The more she thought, the more she knew she had been wrong to leave the way she did. When Cheryl needed her most. She ran. I’ll come back for you, she had said. But she hadn’t meant six years later. Kimberley rubbed her eyes, determined not to let the past overwhelm her.
She glanced up briefly as someone walked past the car, and she froze. She stopped breathing, her body freezing, like the blood inside her had literally stopped flowing, like her heart had ceased beating.
Cheryl had just walked right past her car.
Kimberley stared after her, all of her senses halted, just fixated on her.
She was so beautiful.
She had only caught a fleeting glimpse of her, but Kimberley knew, she was so beautiful. She could feel it.
She watched Cheryl getting harder to see in the darkness, and she got out of the car. She watched Cheryl cross the road, enter the bungalow, and seconds later a light came on in the front window. A minute later, Cheryl appeared at the door again, with another woman. They hugged and the woman left, then Cheryl closed the door again. Kimberley walked across the road without really looking, just staring. Cheryl briefly appeared in the window before closing the curtains.
Kimberley went straight to the door. Every hesitant feeling she had experienced since returning to Newcastle seemed to evaporate the second she set eyes on Cheryl Tweedy again. Although when she knocked on the door, her senses returned; her heart was pounding so furiously she felt sure it would soon tear right out of her chest, and her hands were shaking. She could hear her ragged breathing.
The door opened a crack, and her eyes met Cheryl’s for the first time in six years.
Cheryl opened the door wider, her hand dropping from the handle. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. Kimberley had no idea what to say. She couldn’t take her eyes off her.
After the longest silence ever, Cheryl spoke, her voice a whisper.
‘Kimberley Walsh, tell us you’re really stood on me doorstep right now. Tell me you’re really here.’
‘I’m really here.’ Kimberley choked. Cheryl looked like she was experiencing some serious inner pain.
‘Tell us why you’re here.’ She whispered. ‘I need to know why you’re here before I do anything else.’
‘I-I’ve come back. I’ve come back f-for you. Cheryl.’
Cheryl moved very quickly. She grabbed Kimberley’s arm, wrenched her inside, slammed the door and locked it top to bottom. Then she turned around and lunged forward, throwing her arms around Kimberley so tightly they almost fell over. Cheryl clutched at Kimberley desperately, tears running silently down her face, holding her tighter than she thought possible, convinced she was going to disappear, that this was just another dream.
Kimberley didn’t remember putting her arms around Cheryl, but when she pulled away they were wrapped around her waist. She let them drop slowly, her heart doing summersaults as Cheryl raised a hand to her face, tenderly cupping her cheek, caressing her skin slowly.
‘You’re really here.’ She whispered. Kimberley just nodded. She wanted so badly to kiss her…
Cheryl let go of her then, taking a small step back. They looked at each other for a split second, then Cheryl’s hand flew out, striking Kimberley’s face so hard her head flew back. She covered her stinging face, looking slowly back at Cheryl. She had backed away, breathing heavily.
‘I deserved that.’
‘Why have you come back?’
‘I’ve come back for you.’
‘Six years. Six fcuking years! You fcuking explain yourself!’
‘I will!’ Kimberley said, raising her voice, tears pricking her eyes. She had wondered how long it would take for her to cry. She could see that Cheryl was trying not to cry too.
‘Don’t shout.’ Cheryl said softly. ‘Come in here…’
They went into the living room, and Cheryl closed the door. ‘I don’t know what to say to you.’ She sighed.
‘I know, it’s ok.’
‘Where have you been?’
‘I…’ Kimberley stopped. ‘I don’t know where to start.’ She sighed.
‘Start from the beginning.’ Cheryl said, folding her arms and sitting down stiffly. ‘Start from the minute you drove away from us and left us crying in the streets. ‘
**
They carried on as they had been, only more secretive than ever. It was stolen kisses at the back of the cinema, late nights in a pitch black park, more time than ever at Kimberley’s flat, anything so they could be together. Neither of them had ever been so in love.
They got away with it for another month.
Then Kimberley got the phone call.
‘Hello?’
‘Kimberley is she with you, is Cheryl with you?’
‘Who’s this?’
‘It’s Gary.’ He gasped. ‘Please, I know I’ve been a b*stard, I’m sorry, please I need to know if she’s with you, please!’
‘Cheryl’s not here, I--’
‘*Duck*!’ Gary yelled.
‘What’s going on?!’
‘I… I think she’s hurt. Joe’s done something. He’s done something stupid. Please you have to help me find her Kimberley please I’m sorry…’
‘Meet me at the park, I’m leaving the flat now.’ Kimberley slammed the phone down and ran from the flat. She ran the whole way there.
Darkness had fallen by the time Kimberley and Gary found Cheryl. They found her in the playground of the park, under the swings. Kimberley heard Gary screaming her name, and when she got there she pulled a motionless Cheryl out of his arms, hugging her and sobbing.
**
‘I went back to Bradford.’ Kimberley said, clutching the steaming mug of tea Cheryl had made her. ‘I went home. I thought I was doing the right thing.’
‘Well you weren’t.’
‘I thought I was protecting you.’
‘Well you were wrong.’ Cheryl said scathingly. ‘I’m sorry but you need to hear this.’
Kimberley nodded.
‘When you went, a few weeks after, when I knew you weren’t gonna come back, I tried to do meself in.’
Kimberley couldn’t stop the tears from falling then. She put her tea down and covered her face, breaking down. Cheryl didn’t move to comfort her.
‘I’m so sorry Cheryl.’
‘I tried to overdose, and when I woke up in hospital and knew it hadn’t worked I slashed me wrists.’ Cheryl said bluntly.
‘I’m so sorry--’
‘I don’t want you to be sorry Kimberley I want to know why you promised you’d come back for us and never did.’
‘I wanted to.’ Kimberley sniffed, lifting her head. ‘I wanted to, I really did, but… things got in the way, life got in the way, life just… happened.’
‘So tell us.’ Cheryl said softly. ‘Tell us what took six years Kimberley. Make us understand.’
**
Kimberley sat by Cheryl’s hospital bed, unable to take her red, bloodshot eyes off her.
Cheryl’s eyes were blackened with bruises; she had a fractured skull from a deep gash in her head, several broken ribs, and bruises all over her neck. There were wires in her arms, a tube in her mouth, machines all around her, bleeping continuously.
She had been there for hours and hours. She didn’t know exactly how many. Gary had left a while ago. He had told her why but she couldn’t remember. Kimberley glanced up when the door opened, and froze when a woman followed Gary in. This must be Cheryl’s mother.
She asked what had happened. Kimberley told her everything she knew.
‘This is all my fault.’ Kimberley cried, new sobs taking over her body. Cheryl’s mum walked around the bed, sat on the arm of the chair Kimberley was in and hugged her close. ‘Hush pet, come on now. Gary’s told us who you are. That you called the ambulance and looked after her. He’s told me everything that happened before, too. Don’t blame yourself pet.’
It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that Kimberley left Cheryl’s side, just to get some air. She was supposed to be visiting home that weekend, so she had to phone and say she wouldn’t be going, although she had no idea what she’d say to her mother as a reason.
Kimberley circled the car park, swigging from a bottle of water, trying to think of an excuse as she headed back to the entrance.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind, pulling her to the floor behind a parked car. Kimberley opened her mouth to scream but the man covered her mouth with his hand, pinning her wrists above her head with his other hand.
Kimberley froze, stopped struggling when she met Joe’s eyes. ‘I’m not gonna hurt you!’ he said breathlessly. ‘Just tell me she’s ok. Is she ok?’
Kimberley shook her head. Joe slowly took his hand off her mouth. ‘Everybody knows it was you.’ She whispered. ‘You’re going down for this.’
‘It wasn’t. It wasn’t I swear!’
‘Get off!’
‘It wasn’t me--’
‘Gary saw blood on your hands.’
‘Not Cheryl’s. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t hurt her.’
‘Fcuking pull the other one Joseph I saw the bruises.’ Kimberley shouted. ‘I said get off me!’
‘No you have to listen, you have to tell them, it was them, it was them guys, the ones who threatened us, they attacked Cheryl not me! I was trying to keep her safe, I just nearly killed one of them.’
He slid away, breathing heavily, letting go of Kimberley. She struggled to her feet, backing away. ‘It was his blood not hers, I swear, I wouldn’t hurt my sister.’ He cried. Kimberley watched him stood there, sobbing. ‘Is she ok?’
‘I don’t know.’ Kimberley said honestly. She walked straight past Joe and back into the hospital.
It was a couple of days later, when Kimberley finally went back to the flat. Cheryl was awake, and on the mend, and had finally managed to send Kimberley home for a while.
But when Kimberley walked into her flat, two men were sat on her sofa.
‘Ah, she’s home!’ one of them smiled, standing up as if greeting her. ‘Sorry to burst in on you like this darling, we’ll be off in a minute. How’s little Cheryl?’
‘You’re the ones who did it aren’t you?’ Kimberley said bluntly.
‘That’s right darling.’
‘What do you want?’ she said, already backing away to the door.
‘Just to deliver a message.’ He whispered, suddenly looking and sounding a lot more threatening. ‘Next time, we won’t be so lenient. She won’t be so lucky. And neither will you.’
‘Why are you doing this? We haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘We don’t have dykes around here darling. It might be ok where you come from, but not here. And Big Brother Tweedy… he owes us quite a bit of money. We warned him what would happen if he didn’t pay up.’
‘You’re doing this for money?! That’s nothing to do with Cheryl. Or me. You didn’t have to hurt her.’
‘It makes our message loud and clear. We’ll be going to see Joseph for our money now. See, we never would’ve had a reason to hurt little Cheryl if it wasn’t for you. And people like you and her aren’t welcome here. If you know what’s good for you you’ll hit the road, this isn’t your fight, and we’ll leave her well alone then.’
Kimberley moved away as they walked towards her door, but she didn’t move fast enough as he spun around and grabbed her throat. ‘We’re watching you.’
Kimberley didn’t go back to the hospital. She ignored all of Cheryl’s texts and phone calls. On the day Cheryl texted her saying she was coming out of hospital, Kimberley’s flat was bare of all her things, her father’s car was parked outside and she was leaving that very minute. She sent Cheryl one message: “You won’t get hurt again. I’m so sorry xx”
Cheryl sprinted up the road to Kimberley’s flat, breathless and in agony, but she didn’t slow down or stop. She knew what Kimberley was doing, and she had to stop her.
As she rounded the corner she saw the car driving away. She sped up, causing herself more pain. She didn’t stop until the car was completely out of sight, and she collapsed on the pavement, sobbing uncontrollably. Minutes later Gary was there, holding her in his arms while she cried.
Cheryl’s phone beeped as she received a text, and she extracted her phone, barely able to read the words through her tears. It was from Kimberley.
“I love you. I promise I will come back for you x”
**
‘I moved back to Bradford, I transferred universities. I hated it there, but I stuck with it… until my mum got ill.’
She looked up. Cheryl was watching her intently. Kimberley could see it; she had been desperate to hear this for six years.
‘What with?’
‘Leukemia.’ Kimberley sighed.
‘Is she… did she--’
‘She’s alive.’ Kimberley nodded. ‘It took nearly eighteen months to get her better, but she’s alive. She isn’t perfect but she’s still here.’
Kimberley picked up her tea but didn’t drink any.
‘I dropped out of uni to be her carer, my dad had to work. I… I never ever stopped thinking about you. But I left it too late, didn’t I?’
Cheryl didn’t answer, but Kimberley didn’t expect her to.
‘After that, I… I guess you could say I tried to get over you.’
‘And did you?’
Kimberley purposely looked straight into Cheryl’s eyes and replied, ‘Never.’
‘G-go on.’
‘I met someone… a guy. I didn’t love him, but he made me happy, I guess you could call it a very long rebound because the whole two and a half years I was with him I thought of you. I imagined I was with you when we made love. I pretended it was you who held my hand. I pretended it was you there when I--’
Kimberley stopped. She didn’t know how to say the next part. She didn’t think she had ever said it out loud; news had travelled after it happened and she never had to.
‘You didn’t stay with him then?’
‘No… we split up after… after--’
Kimberley tried to swallow past the huge lump in her throat and took several deep breaths. With shaking hand she went in her jacket pocket and handed Cheryl the tiny picture she carried everywhere with her.
‘Is this… your baby?’ Cheryl said, her voice thick with emotion as she took the picture.
‘She was, yes.’
‘W-was?’
Kimberley didn’t answer. Cheryl got up and moved to sit next to her, taking her hand. She knew. ‘Kimberley?’
Kimberley met Cheryl’s eyes again, determined to look at her when she said this. She needed to, she didn’t know why but she felt she needed to.
‘That’s Emily. My daughter. She was four months and nine days old when she died.’
Cheryl let the tears fall down her face freely, squeezing Kimberley’s hand. ‘How?’
‘They call it cot death, don’t they.’ Kimberley muttered. She too the picture back, staring at it. ‘She would be two now.’
Cheryl very slowly lifted her arm and placed it around Kimberley’s shoulders. ‘I can’t tell you how sorry I am.’ She whispered.
‘Don’t be. Anyway.’ Kimberley sniffed, rubbing her eyes. ‘I don’t think anyone can understand what that does to a person, to a mother, unless they’ve been through it. I’ll never get over it, I’m no more over it now than I was than the morning I woke up and found h-her…’ Kimberley swallowed past her tears and continued. ‘But from that day, when I lost her nothing else mattered to me anymore. I didn’t give a toss about anything. Not my family or my job or my friends… not even you, for a while.’
Kimberley purposely looked away when she said that, unable to bear to see the pain in Cheryl’s eyes.
‘So what’s changed? What made you come back?’ Cheryl said.
‘I can’t live without you anymore.’ Kimberley shrugged. ‘I know what I did to you and it breaks my heart, but I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life begging you to be mine because quite frankly I’ve nothing else to live for. You’re the only thing that makes sense to me.’
They looked at each other for a long time. Cheryl made a slow movement, like she was going to lean in and kiss her, but they were interrupted by a soft thudding coming from the next room.
‘No, not again.’ Cheryl sighed. Closing her eyes briefly.
‘What’s that?’
‘I… will you wait here a minute?’
‘Yeah… what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing, just wait here, one minute.’
‘Okay.’
Cheryl left the room, closing the door. Kimberley drank her tea for something to do while she waited. When she heard the door open again she turned around, saw Cheryl leaning her head in. ‘I have to show you something.’ She said. She looked terrified.
‘What is it?’ Kimberley said, standing up. Cheryl bit her lip, then stepped fully into the room.
She was holding a little boy. About a year old.
‘This is Jake. My son.’ She whispered.
Kimberley couldn’t take her eyes off the boy. Chewing his fist, looking at Kimberley with fascination.
‘That woman who was here before…’
‘His babysitter.’ Cheryl said. ‘I work at a pub a few nights a week and she looks after him.’
A long silence ensued. ‘D-d’you want to hold him?’ Cheryl said nervously. Kimberley nodded, moving closer. She knew Cheryl was afraid of her reaction because of what she had just learned about her daughter.
Kimberley took the little boy and balanced him on her hip. ‘Hello you.’ She smiled. ‘Hey! Don’t you look like your mammy?’
Jake giggled, wriggling a little. Kimberley looked at Cheryl, still looking nervous.
‘He’s the double of you. He’s gorgeous!’
Jake laughed again, like he knew Kimberley was talking about him. Cheryl smiled. Jake grabbed at Kimberley’s hair.
‘Oi, you little monster!’ Cheryl gasped. Jake immediately let go, looking at his mother with wide eyes. Kimberley chuckled.
‘Here, I’ll try and get him back down… if… if you wanna stay and talk?’
Kimberley nodded, handing him back. ‘I’ll be quick.’ Cheryl said.
‘Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.’ Kimberley assured her.
‘Honestly?’
‘I mean it, I’ll stay right here.’
**
Cheryl came back in about twenty minutes later with a heavy sigh. ‘Sorry, he does it every night when I get home.’
‘It’s fine… he’s great Cheryl.’
‘Aye… he is.’
‘Is, err… is his dad not around, or…?’
‘No… he – it’s complicated.’ Cheryl sighed. She sat down and leaned forward. ‘I think it’s my turn now.’
‘You don’t owe me anything Cheryl.’
‘No but I want you to know.’
Kimberley just smiled encouragingly.
‘After you left… Joseph told us everything. About the people he was in trouble with. He told me they’d paid you a visit too, and threatened you.’
‘They didn’t threaten me, they threatened you, again.’
‘Right. Anyway… them that went round to your flat…’ Cheryl visibly inhaled. ‘Jake’s dad is their brother.’
Kimberley was speechless.
‘I didn’t know that when I got with him.’ Cheryl continued. ‘When I found out, I was gonna leave him. It just brought everything back, I couldn’t be part of that family. But then I found out I was pregnant with Jake… I didn’t want him growin’ up without a daddy cos of something that’d happened years ago… but that didn’t exactly work out.’
‘What happened?’ Kimberley whispered. She could tell Cheryl was getting distressed.
‘H-he found out about his brother… he found out it was him who attacked us.’
‘And?’
‘He tried to kill him.’ Cheryl said. ‘He’s a year into a ten year sentence for attempted murder and GBH.’
‘Oh my God…’
‘That’s not all.’ Cheryl said. ‘The GBH part wasn’t for attacking his brother, it was for attacking me.’
‘You what?!’
‘He didn’t take it well that I’d had a relationship with a woman, much less never told him about it.’ Cheryl said. ‘Jake was six weeks early; I went into premature labour cos he battered us. He nearly killed his own son.’
Kimberley swiped angry tears from her eyes. Cheryl was talking about this as casually as if they were discussing the weather.
‘I think you should go.’
‘What?’ Kimberley said, looking up sharply.
‘You shouldn’t be here, I think you should go.’
‘But… no. Why? What happens now?’
‘You go back where you came from and live your life.’ Cheryl instructed. ‘You shouldn’t have come back Kimberley.’
‘That’s not what you said when you let me in!’
‘Think about it Kimberley!’ Cheryl hissed. ‘I’m being watched, I’m always being watched! His brothers are still here, they’ve spent the last twelve months making sure I don’t do a bunk with his son, and believe me I’ve tried. If they’ve seen you…’ Cheryl ran her fingers through her hair. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt, and I can’t risk my son, I can’t.’
Kimberley stood up. ‘D’you really want me to go?’ she whispered, moving closer to Cheryl until they were only about an inch from touching.
‘No.’ Cheryl said shakily. ‘But I’m not prepared to deal with what’ll happen if you stay.’
Kimberley raised a hand to her face, and Cheryl closed her eyes at Kimberley’s touch, grasping her hand. ‘You have to go.’ She begged. ‘Please, just leave.’
‘Not this time.’ Kimberley said. She raised her other hand, tilted Cheryl’s face slightly, resting their foreheads together. ‘This time, I am not leaving without you.’
She kissed her. Kimberley heard Cheryl’s gasp as their lips connected, but she kissed her back. Slowly Cheryl’s hands came up. She grasped the back of Kimberley’s head, deepening their kiss, grabbed her around the waist and spun her around, backing her against the living room door with a thud.
When Kimberley broke their kiss for some air, Cheryl pulled her right back in. ‘Don’t – stop.’ She murmured between kisses. ‘I want you.’ She said desperately. ‘I need you, please…’
‘Cheryl--’
‘I’ve needed you for six years please…’
‘Where’s the bedroom?’
Cheryl shook her head. ‘Jake’s in there.’
Kimberley just kissed her again, slowly edged them back towards the sofa and pushed Cheryl down on it. Cheryl unzipped Kimberley’s jacket and pushed it off her shoulders, ran her hands up Kimberley’s bare arms.
Kimberley ran her hands up Cheryl’s top, flicking her bra undone with one swift movement. She grasped the fabric and started lifting it up. Cheryl responded eagerly, wriggling out of her top and flinging it to the floor, bra and all, before doing the same to Kimberley in such eagerness that she actually ripped the material.
‘Cheryl--’
‘Sssshhhh.’ Cheryl whispered. She sat up, flipping around so she was in a sitting position and Kimberley was straddling her lap. She placed her lips over a nipple and Kimberley threw her head back closing her eyes with a moan of pleasure.
They continued like that for some time, undressing each other fully until all their clothes lay discarded around them. They crawled crazily around the space the sofa offered, each clambering on top of the other at the first opportunity, remembering each other’s touch. Kimberley couldn’t remember the last time she had been so turned on, and when she slid her leg in between Cheryl’s thighs and felt the wetness coating her skin, she almost exploded with it.
She replaced her leg with her hand, sliding her fingers across the folds of Cheryl’s clit. Cheryl gasped and bit her lip, supressing a cry. Cheryl dug her nails into the skin of Kimberley’s back, pulling her closer, pressing their breasts together. ‘Touch me.’ She begged desperately.
‘I love you.’ Kimberley whispered, too quietly for Cheryl to hear her, before sliding her fingers inside her. Cheryl cried out loudly, her back arching, one hand tangling in Kimberley’s hair and gripping tightly.
Kimberley placed her free hand over Cheryl’s mouth to stifle her cries at they developed a rhythm, moving together as though the six years that had separated them had simply never happened, evaporated; they could have only seen each other yesterday.
**
It was about five in the morning when Kimberley woke up. Her neck was aching and her limbs were stiff, but her and Cheryl were tangled together tightly on the sofa, covered only by Kimberley’s jacket. Kimberley sat up a little, rolling her stiff neck, and Cheryl woke up.
‘Sorry.’ Kimberley whispered.
Cheryl brushed Kimberley’s hair back, a tiny smile playing across her lips. ‘S’ok. What time is it?’
‘Just after five or something… maybe I should go before it gets light.’
‘I don’t want you to go.’ Cheryl said, so quietly Kimberley had to lip read.
‘I don’t want to go either, but you said--’
‘I know.’ Cheryl sighed. ‘Just five more minutes?’
‘Of course.’
‘Where are you staying?’
‘Nowhere yet.’ Kimberley smiled, realising this for the first time. ‘Don’t worry I’ll be fine.’
‘How long are you staying for?’
Kimberley propped herself up on her elbow. ‘Like I said last night. This time, I’m not leaving without you.’
‘But--’
‘Wherever you are, I will be.’ She said firmly.
‘Kimberley…’ Cheryl sighed. She touched her face, ran her fingers over her lips, her neck.
‘If you don’t want me, I will go.’ Kimberley said. ‘But to be honest I wouldn’t believe you. I haven’t felt like this since I was eighteen.’
‘Neither have I.’ Cheryl answered. She pulled herself back into Kimberley’s body. ‘Kimba, I love you.’ She said, and she burst into tears.
‘Cheryl, don’t cry… what’re you crying for? I love you too!’
‘Because it’s not as simple as just saying “I love you” is it?’ Cheryl cried. ‘I love you but at the same time I kind of hate you, I love you but I don’t trust you. I love you but I’m scared, I don’t want you to leave me again but now you’re here I don’t wanna be without you, I can’t.’
‘I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like that.’ Kimberley whispered. ‘Maybe I should’ve stayed away--’
‘No don’t say that.’ Cheryl sniffed. ‘I forgot what it felt like to feel so… loved. Nobody’s held us like that since… well, since you.’
‘I can’t let this go now.’ Kimberley said. ‘Cheryl come with me.’
‘What?’
‘I live in London now. It’s a big place. I want you to come with me, nobody would ever find you there, I promise.’
‘Wh – b-but, Jake--’
‘You and your son, Cheryl, are you daft?! I know you’re scared, if you come with me you won’t have to be afraid every day, you’ll be safe and so will he.’
Cheryl opened her mouth to answer, but like the previous night, a thudding sound came from the other room and she sighed heavily.
‘What’s he doing in there?’ Kimberley giggled.
‘He shakes his cot and it bangs against the wall. I think I preferred it when he cried.’ Cheryl smiled.
‘If you want…I could go and check on him.’
‘…Would you?’
‘Of course… if you get off my top. I can’t walk in there like this can I?’
‘Good point.’
Cheryl watched Kimberley get dressed, a hazy smile on her face.
‘What?’
‘Nothing… are you… d’you mean it, are you…’
‘I’m back for you.’ Kimberley insisted, leaning in and claiming her lips. ‘I can’t tell you how sorry I am that it’s taken me this long.’
The thudding started again and Kimberley stood up. ‘I’ll be back.’
Kimberley slowly entered the dark room, made out little Jake stood up in his cot from the moonlight.
‘Hello again.’ She said, approaching him. Jake stared at her, fascinated. ‘You coming to Kimmy, eh?’
Jake held his arms out, gurgling. He had Cheryl’s exact eyes, the same coloured hair, and when Kimberley picked him up and he grabbed her hair again, he laughed, showing off identical dimples.
‘You’re a lively one aren’t you! Wide awake at this time!’ Kimberley whispered. ‘You look just like your mammy, you’re so beautiful!’
‘Maaaaammaaa.’ Jake wailed. He started wriggling in Kimberley’s arms, then screwed up his face and screamed.
Kimberley tried calming him, but conceded defeat and carried him back to the front room, edging the door open slowly. ‘Cheryl?’
‘Hhmmm?’
‘Are you decent? He wants you.’
Cheryl appeared in an instant, her knickers and top back on she took the screaming boy. ‘Hey, Mister grumpy pants what’s wrong with you?’
‘Don’t think he likes me.’ Kimberley said, sitting beside Cheryl on the sofa as she started bouncing Jake on her knees.
‘You wait and see, he’s dead fussy, he’ll want you back in ten minutes.’ Cheryl laughed. ‘Won’t you Jakey? Eh? You like aunty Kimba don’t you?’
Sure enough, after a few minutes sat contently in Cheryl’s arms, Jake started wriggling again, then twisted around and reached his little arms out to Kimberley, gurgling nonsense, his eyes wide.
‘Told you.’ Cheryl laughed, plonking him on Kimberley’s lap. ‘D’you want a coffee?’
‘No thanks… I think I should leave before it gets light Cheryl.’
‘You’re probably right.’ Cheryl sighed.
‘I will come back… if you want me to.’
Cheryl raised her eyebrows. ‘Look at us.’ She said, gesturing at some of the clothes still heaped on the floor. ‘I couldn’t tell you I don’t want you even if I wanted to. I won’t lie Kimberley, you were the only one I ever loved, that hasn’t changed.’
‘I never stopped loving you Cheryl.’
‘But things are complicated.’
‘I’ve seen your mam.’
‘You what?’
‘I saw her… yesterday before I came here. She said you don’t belong here and she wants me to get you out of here.’
Cheryl didn’t say anything.
‘Will you come with me?’
‘It isn’t that easy Kimberley…’
‘Yes it is! Just say yes. We can be gone by tonight.’
‘You’re serious aren’t you?’
‘I wouldn’t have come back after this long if I didn’t love the bones of you. I’ve loved you every single day since I was eighteen years old.’
Cheryl slowly took Jake back and stood up, rocking him gently.
‘D’you have a phone?’
‘Yes, why?’ Cheryl frowned.
‘I’m gonna put my number in it… I’ll go now, but… c-can I see you again?’
Cheryl smiled a little. ‘Aye, tonight if you want? Me mam’s got Jake.’
‘Okay, what d’you wanna do?’
‘Well if you get into a hotel…’ Cheryl smirked, ‘we could stay there, or something.’
‘You haven’t changed a bit have you?’
Cheryl raised her eyebrows sarcastically, once again observing her clothes on the floor. ‘Clearly not.’
‘I’ll text you with the address then?’
‘Aye, you do that.’
‘Can I have a kiss goodbye?’ Kimberley said to Jake. He giggled and hid his face in Cheryl’s shoulder.
‘Oh no, don’t you like kisses? What about a cuddle then?’
Jake leaned away from Cheryl, holding his arms out to Kimberley. When she took him, he immediately grabbed her hair, tugging it and laughing.
‘You get them all the toys you can see, and they play with human hair.’ Cheryl shook her head.
‘Aah, he’s alright, look at his face!’
‘Can I have a kiss goodbye?’ Cheryl said very quietly, her cheeks reddening slightly.
‘Of course you can.’
Kimberley left several minutes later, letting Cheryl check the street was deserted before handing Jake back to her and stepping outside.
‘Be careful.’ She warned.
‘I’ll be fine. See you tonight?’
‘Aye, about eight?’
‘Perfect… Cheryl?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I… I know I’m asking a lot… I just want to take care of you, and I think I could make you happy, if you let me.’
Cheryl slowly closed the door. ‘I’ll see you tonight Kimberley.’
**
Eight o clock came and went that night.
At first, Kimberley wasn’t worried. She was just sad, thinking Cheryl had changed her mind, that the scars of the past were too much for her to forget so easily.
Then Cheryl’s words came back to her, words about being watched, about Jake’s dad making sure his son was sticking around.
Kimberley sat up off the bed and dialled Cheryl’s mobile number. It rang out, but there was no answer. She tried another four times over the next hour. Nothing.
Kimberley grabbed her jacket and went out. She knew she shouldn’t, that she was probably doing more harm than good, but she couldn’t just sit there. Even if Cheryl had just simply stood her up, she had to be sure.
Kimberley was about fifteen minutes from Cheryl’s house when her phone started ringing, sounding much louder in the silent streets. It was Cheryl.
‘Hello?’
‘Kimberley, are you ok?’
‘What?’
‘Where are you? Are you outside? Are you alright?’
Cheryl sounded frantic, panicked. ‘I’m fine Cheryl, I was trying to phone you t—what’s happened?’
‘They saw you.’ Cheryl cried. ‘They saw you leave this morning, they said they were going to your hotel.’
‘Wh-what? How did they know?!’
‘They got the address off me phone, I’m sorry.’
Kimberley stopped walking, her blood running cold. ‘They’ve been to you? Have they hurt you?’
All she heard was a small sob, then silence.
‘Cheryl! Answer me!’
‘Yes.’ Cheryl sobbed.
‘I’m coming.’
‘No! No don’t come here. I have to get Jake, before they realise you’re not at the hotel and go for him.’
‘Then I’ll meet you at your mums.’
‘Really?’
‘Of course. Will you be ok on your own?’
‘I’ll be fine I promise. If you get there before us just take him somewhere safe, please.’
**
Kimberley got to Cheryl’s mums before Cheryl, because when she started hammering on Joan’s door, she had no idea what was going on.
‘Kimberley? Wh--’
‘Have you got Jake?’
‘Yeah course I do, why?’
‘I need to take him somewhere safe, I don’t have time to explain.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Joan please you don’t understand--’
‘Mam!’
They both spun around as Cheryl ran into the house, doubled over panting.
‘Cheryl. Y-your face.’ Joan said.
Cheryl straightened up. The top of her nose, on the inside of her left eye was sporting a deep, long gash, and it was still bleeding. She slowly sat down, wrapping her arms around her stomach, her jaw clenched. Kimberley dropped to her knees in front of her raising a hand to her face. ‘Let’s get a cloth for that.’ Joan muttered, exiting the room. Cheryl tried to stand up.
‘Hey. Hang on a second--’
‘I have to get Jake.’
‘Let me have a look.’ Kimberley said firmly.
Cheryl pulled up her top, screwing her eyes up in pain. ‘It’s not bruised… yet. But it hurts.’
‘Joan, get me something cold as well please?’ Kimberley called. ‘A bag of peas or something?’
Kimberley moved up and sat next to her, cradling Cheryl’s head in her hands. ‘It’s ok… I’m so sorry, this is all my fault…’
‘I don’t care I just h-have to leave, I have to get Jake and leave now.’
Cheryl pushed herself up with effort.
‘I t-told them Jake was with the babysitter, she lives a good hour away, I think that bought us a bit of time.’
‘Will she be ok?’
‘I phoned her, she’s not in and I warned her.’
‘Okay… right, stay here with your mam, I’ll be ten minutes--’
‘No, where’re you going?’
‘We can’t go anywhere without a car Cheryl. I’m coming straight back.’
‘No, don’t leave us.’ Cheryl started crying.
‘Babe, please don’t… I swear to you I’m coming back.’
‘That’s what you said last time.’ Cheryl sobbed. ‘Let us come with you please then we’ll come back for Jake.’
**
Cheryl wouldn’t let Kimberley out of her sight. They managed to get in and out of the hotel, and were driving back to Cheryl’s mums, before anything happened.
Kimberley turned off the main road, and was halfway up a much quieter road when a car shot out of a side-street, plunging right into Kimberley’s side of the car.
Both of them screamed. Kimberley smacked her head and the passenger side hit a lamppost, leaving them trapped between that and the other car.
The car’s engine started again, and slowly reversed. Kimberley watched the headlights come on, then go off again as the sound of the engine faded.
‘Oh my God, Kimberley, Kimba what do I do, what do I do?!’ Cheryl shouted hysterically. Kimberley struggled to lift her head, her eyes flickering. She felt blood on her face. Dimly she heard a car door open, then slam closed.
‘Ch-Cheryl, go.’ She groaned. ‘Get out, run, now, go.’
‘No I can’t--’
‘GO!’
‘I c-can’t – I can’t get the door open--’
Kimberley tried moving towards Cheryl, but just then someone opened her door and dragged her out of the car, throwing her onto the road. She heard Cheryl screaming and tried to get up, but received a kick in the side that knocked the wind right out of her and she doubled up coughing.
‘Never thought I’d see you again, I must admit.’
‘LEAVE HER ALONE!’ Cheryl screamed.
Kimberley cried out as a hand grasped her by the hair and lifted her up, and she met the face of the man who had stood in her flat six years ago.
‘Now, where you off to with my little nephews mammy eh?’ he smiled. ‘Where is he? The boy?’
Kimberley spat in his face. He threw her back to the floor. Kimberley glimpsed Cheryl, being held back against the car by another man.
‘That’ll be the last thing you ever do.’ He snarled.
Kimberley couldn’t see what he did; she was only just conscious. But she heard Cheryl scream again.
‘NNNOOO!! STOP! PLEASE!!’
Again, Kimberley tried to get up. She was suddenly blinded by a flash of headlights as a screech had them all looking up.
A third car stopped, and three doors opened. The man stood over Kimberley backed away a few steps. ‘No f*cking way.’
There was a long silence, then Cheryl’s voice. ‘Joseph?!’
‘Get your filthy hands off my sister.’ Joe said threateningly. Suddenly it was Cheryl’s hands on Kimberley, hugging her close and pressing a hand to her bleeding head. ‘Kimba, babe can you hear us? Are you ok?’
‘What’s going on?’ Kimberley slurred.
‘Can you get up? Babe, I need you to get up. Come on.’
Kimberley struggled to her feet, stumbling. Cheryl held her around the waist, and when she straightened up Kimberley put her arms protectively around Cheryl’s shoulders as she took in the scene before her.
Cheryl’s brothers, Joseph Andrew and Gary, were stood there, surveying the two men. Joseph was holding a gun.
‘I swear to God I’ll do time for you again.’ Joe said, stepping forward. ‘I swear I will. You’ve got ten seconds to get out of me sight.’
The one who had held Cheryl back turned and ran, bolting down the dark street and out of sight. ‘You fcuking little coward!’ his brother screamed. He and Joe were now only about six feet apart, Joe still had the gun raised.
‘Don’t ever come within fifty miles of my family again. Do one.’
‘This isn’t over.’
‘It will be for you if you don’t do one.’
As he backed away to his car, Kimberley pulled Cheryl out of the way to stand behind Gary and Andrew. He didn’t take his eyes off Cheryl as he backed his car away, turned it around and sped off.
They all let out a collective sigh of relief. Cheryl threw her arms around Kimberley. ‘Kimba, I’m--’
‘Ssshhh.’ Kimberley hushed. She pulled away and cradled Cheryl’s face. ‘Will you come with me now?’
‘Cheryl.’
Cheryl turned to her brother. ‘Me car’s at mams you can take it, take Jakey and get gone. He’ll be back, you know.’
‘Where did you all come from?’ Cheryl whispered.
‘Mam called us.’ Joe shrugged. ‘Said you were in trouble. I know I’m violating that restraining order but desperate times and all that.’
‘Joe, I--’
‘Go with Kimberley Cheryl.’ Joe said firmly. He glanced at Kimberley. ‘Take care of her?’
She just nodded.
‘What about mam?’ Cheryl said. ‘She won’t be safe round here…’
‘I’ve sorted it.’ Andrew piped up. ‘She’s coming home with me tonight, then she’s going down Gary’s end in Cardiff. She did say she wanted to retire there one day.’
‘This is so fucked up.’ Cheryl cried, resting her head on Kimberley’s shoulder.
‘Get in the car we’ll take you back to mams.’ Joe said awkwardly.
They all piled in, Cheryl and Kimberley holding each other in the back seat with Gary next to them, slightly uncomfortable. Kimberley met Joe’s eyes in the wing mirror as she stroked her fingers through Cheryl’s hair and whispered, ‘thank you.’
**
Kimberley waited at the gate of Joan’s house as Cheryl tucked up a sleeping Jake in the back seat of the car they were ‘borrowing’ from Joe. She said a hurried goodbye then waited in the driver’s seat while Cheryl said goodbye to her family. Her head was banging but Joan had done her best with it, at least it had stopped bleeding. She glanced at Jake through the mirror and smiled to herself. Already she felt a great rush of love towards him.
She jumped slightly when Cheryl eventually opened the door and got in the car. ‘Let’s go.’ She muttered, staring through the window at her mother.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Just drive.’
Kimberley set off.
By the time they hit the motorway and were heading south, Cheryl still hadn’t said a word. ‘I think we need to go to hospital in the morning.’ Kimberley said randomly. ‘You’re a mess, you could’ve broken something.’
‘I’m a mess?’ Cheryl snorted in disbelief. ‘You should look in the mirror Kimberley.’
Silence fell between them again.
‘I must be fcuking crazy.’ Cheryl sighed suddenly.
‘What d’you mean?’
‘D’you want us to be honest?’
‘Of course.’
‘I honestly can’t believe I’m handing me heart on a plate to the one person who tore it apart.’
Kimberley didn’t know how to answer that, but when she said nothing, Cheryl said, ‘Kimba? I… I didn’t mean that.’
‘Yeah you did, it’s ok.’
‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
Kimberley pulled into the next service station and turned to look at Cheryl. ‘D’you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?’
Cheryl nodded. ‘I still love you that must mean something. I’m just… scared and confused.’
‘If it takes twenty years, then so be it. I’ll do absolutely anything to make it up to you.’
Kimberley waited for Cheryl to say something, but she noticed Cheryl was looking past her, at something behind her. She turned, following Cheryl’s eyes, saw only a takeaway and a petrol station. ‘What is it?’
‘I was just thinking… you could always start by getting us a burger.’ She said with a shy smile. ‘Then maybe give us a kiss. Not necessarily in that order.’
Kimberley immediately slid closer and caught her lips. Their tongues slid together and the kiss became heated. When they broke apart, Cheryl giggled. ‘You’ve got me lipstick on your face.’ She said, tenderly wiping it away.
‘Cheryl?’
‘Yeah?’
‘At my house in London… there’s a spare room… I’ve been wondering what to do with it for over a year… it’s just the right size for a little cot, and it would look great in blue.’
Cheryl smiled weakly. ‘Don’t hang about do you?’
‘Not when I know what I want.’
Cheryl took Kimberley’s hand, threading their fingers together. ‘I’ve waited six years for this.’ She said carefully. ‘It’s not gonna be easy.’
‘I know. I know you still have a lot of issues and I don’t blame you, I’m the reason they’re even there. I’m so, so sorry Cheryl.’
‘What if… it doesn’t work?’ Cheryl whispered, tears filling her eyes just saying it. ‘I want it to, but what if it doesn’t? What if six years was too long?’
Kimberley brought Cheryl’s face up to meet her eyes. ‘I want to find out together. Do you?’
‘Yes.’ Cheryl sniffed.
‘Besides…’ Kimberley kissed Cheryl’s forehead, then her nose, then her lips. ‘Everybody wants to live on top of a mountain, but all the fun occurs while climbing it…’ she glanced in the back seat, reached back with her free hand and ran a finger down Jake’s cheek, staring deeply into Cheryl’s eyes. ‘…so let’s enjoy the ride. What do you say?’
Cheryl looked at her sleeping son then back at Kimberley. ‘You sure?’ she asked, jerking her head a little towards Jake.
‘Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.’
Cheryl smiled, gave Kimberley’s hand a quick squeeze before turning back around in her seat and fixing her seatbelt on. ‘Forget the burger. Let’s go home.’