I'm so happy that i could get this up this fast! Wowsers, four days! That's pretty good, no? So this chapter is all Charlie, i'm happy to say. He's quickly becoming my favorite character...Anyway. Babbling again. So, please vote and comment!
Gracias! <3 vb123321
Chapter Twenty
♦ Charlie ♦
“So, what do we do now?” Josh asked in the car the following day.
Great, back to that question. That always seemed to be the starting point for all of our wonderful little discussions. And usually that would be followed by some bull crap suggestion to do something that probably wouldn’t help us. And yet we always had to go through with this conversation, no matter what.
I felt Pierre looking at me in the rearview mirror, as if wondering what was going through my mind, but I was too fed up with this whole thing to react to his searching look. Astrid had her feet up on the dashboard, absentmindedly twisting her dark braid around her finger as Pierre turned the steering wheel to avoid the path of a large semi. I sat in the back seat of the car next to Josh, wondering why we were back to square one again.
When I returned from blowing up the bridge, it was mildly irritating to see that Pierre had been about to leave without me. Of course, him being the prick he was, this hadn’t exactly been surprising. After all, I probably would’ve done the same thing. It still wasn’t good for the ego, though. But the look on Astrid’s face when she saw that I was okay definitely made up for that. Plus I got to blow up a bridge; that made the world incredibly better.
“Okay, so what did we find out?” Pierre prompted, sounding irrevocably like a professor, and an annoying one at that. I resisted the urge to kick the back of his seat, instead mimicking him in my head.
I know, call me a preschooler. But seriously, what could I do? Astrid would kill me if I shot him, and Josh would think me immature if I came up with a stupid argument. Still, it was all I could do to keep the bitterness that was rising inside of me steadily.
Astrid glanced back at me as if she had read all this on my mind. “Well,” she began in a mock-patient tone. “Apparently, Decrioux is attempting to start World War III by hoarding stashes of explosives, arsenal, and this.” She pulled the can of the mysterious liquid from her pocket, holding it to the side and brandishing it so we could see. “What this is, we don’t know.”
Astrid had filled us in on everything that had happened in my absence. I personally thought that the explosion of the bridge was a lot cooler than some old can of liquid, but if she said it was important to this assignment, then it was.
Taking the can from her, I ignored her warning to be careful and studied it. Josh craned his neck to look at it as well. “Stewed Turtle?” Josh read, frowning. “Did we ever figure out if this was a code?”
I gave him a dirty look. “If we had, we would have been sure to enlighten you,” I informed him sarcastically. “Stewed turtle is a cover, idiot. The real stuff is inside here.”
Looking back at the can, I couldn’t help wondering why they had decided to call it “Stewed Turtle” of all things. Astrid twisted in her seat to watch me with dark eyes as I carefully took the cap off the can, a little surprised at the ease at which it came.
“Careful,” she said suddenly, her hand reaching out to stop me. “You seriously don’t want to try that.”
I looked at her in a querying manner, but she seemed to hesitate, her eyes darkening at something I didn’t know about.
“I would think that Charlie would have enough brains not to taste it,” Pierre put in drily, giving Astrid a raised eyebrow. So he was saying I was smart? Wow, miracles did happen, I guess.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Josh said cheerfully. “Charlie can be incredibly stupid sometimes.” I rolled my eyes at him. Thanks for the help, bud.
“No one in their right mind would taste an unknown liquid,” Pierre said, a grin slipping over his face. “Well, actually…maybe that’s not true,” he added, and looked pointedly at Astrid, who scowled at him.
“It’s not like it was going to kill me,” she protested, and I stared at her. She had tried this liquid? Without knowing what it was? Was she freaking crazy? She caught my look and added, “It tasted terrible…like…” She stopped.
“Death?” Josh supplied melodramatically.
Astrid didn’t look amused. “Exactly.”
There was a very pregnant pause, in which Josh looked like he wished he hadn’t spoken and I sat contemplating the can. It was filled with the liquid Astrid had told us they found loads of, its high viscosity causing it to cling to the side of the can. Its clear color reflected the aluminum of its container, and a faint odor of grapes came off it. It wasn’t like Astrid to be melodramatic about important things like this, and so I was willing to take her word for it. So this liquid was dangerous, was it? But what was it? Some new type of drug?
I glanced at Astrid. “So what exactly was it like?” I asked carefully, unsure of how she would react. “This stuff, I mean?”
She looked away, staring out the windshield. Pierre gave her a concerned sideways glance, and I once again resisted the urge to kick his seat. Josh was studying the liquid, frowning as he dipped a finger in it and raised it to his nose to smell.
“I only had a drop,” Astrid said quietly. “Because Pierre stopped me from trying more.” I hated the gratitude that was on her face as she looked at him. “But that one drop…it was enough for me to know that I didn’t want to experience it any more. It was like…” She struggled for words. “Like…just this pain going right through me, but almost more mental, you know?”
Pierre’s knuckles gripped the steering wheel tightly, and I looked down at the liquid in revulsion. What had it done to her? Josh looked from his dampened finger to Astrid, and echoed, “Mental?”
Astrid glanced at him. “I don’t know how to describe it. The pain was physical enough” – her finger tightened on her braid – “but it was really…wearying. I just felt so exhausted for a split second, and then I was okay. I don’t understand it.”
There was another long silence, and I met Josh’s eyes, which were stretched wide. “Somehow I don’t think this stuff is any ordinary drug,” he commented, staring at his finger.
“I agree,” I said grimly. “After all, who would want that feeling to get high on? No one would get addicted to that, would they?” I glanced at Astrid, who shook her head fervently.
“Never,” she agreed. “This stuff is horrible. I don’t know how Decrioux came up with it, but I don’t think it should come out into the world.”
I agreed. Imagine a fanatic like Osama bin Laden with another weapon to torture people with. “That does bring up something else, though,” I realized, frowning at the can. “Where did Decrioux get it from? I mean, it doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever seen before, does it?”
Josh scrutinized his finger. “No, it doesn’t,” he conceded, frowning as well. “But with a person like Decrioux one can never tell. For all we know, he could have gotten it from the moon.”
I looked pointedly at him, and he grinned at me, wiping his finger off on his jeans. I screwed the lid back on the can and handed it back to Astrid, who tucked it into the pocket of the flying jacket she was still wearing.
“Whatever it is, I just hope we don’t experience it more,” Pierre said with an air of finality. “We can leave it to the scientists of Delta to figure out what we’re supposed to do with it. In the meantime, it’s up to us to figure out what Decrioux is up to here in France, and how we can stop him.”
“Easier said than done,” I observed bleakly. “Did you see how fast those guards caught on? I thought we were supposed to leave no trace.”
Astrid winced. I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “Wait, what did you do?” I asked suspiciously, leaning forward to look at her.
She glared at me. “I didn’t do anything that would have roused their suspicion!” she protested. “I had to kill two of the guards, but the ones who were after you wouldn’t have known that, would they?”
“Unless they tried to radio them or something,” Josh supplied helpfully.
Astrid sighed. “It was either that or get killed,” she snarled. “Take your pick, but I preferred to stay alive, thank you very much.”
“Jeez, no reason to get snippy.” I sat back in my seat. Her dark eyes met mine, and then she looked away from me, staring out of the window once more. I sighed inwardly; Jay was evidently still prominent in her mind. What was it with him that made her like this?
Pierre glanced back at me, but I ignored this. He was probably wondering what was going on between Astrid and I, but in truth, I wasn’t sure myself. Ever since Jay had been thrown into the picture once again…things had gotten a little on the messy side. I had thought we had left that all behind two years ago.
“We’re here,” Pierre said quietly, and we all looked at him in surprise. I had pretty much forgotten that we were actually driving somewhere, and apparently, so had Astrid and Josh.
“Um, where’s ‘here’?” Astrid asked, unclipping her seatbelt and opening her door. Josh and I followed her example as Pierre parked the car and stepped out himself. We were in the town again, the one only a mile from Decrioux’s place. In front of us was a decrepit, deserted brick building with the words “Post Office” on the board in front, in French, of course.
“Who are we sending a letter to?” Josh questioned after a moment, peering at the building. “The President? Tell him he needs to send the troops home from Iraq, okay?”
“Been there, done that,” Astrid told him, rolling her eyes. “Don’t you watch the news, Josh?”
“Oh yeah.” He frowned briefly. “Okay, us then. Heck, it’s gotta be illegal to have fifteen year old spies like you, right, Astrid?”
She glared at him. “I’m sixteen, idiot, and we’re not here to send a letter.” Josh put his hands up in defense, but she was already ignoring him. “Pierre, what the heck are we doing here? Unless we are actually sending the President a letter?”
Pierre grinned and shook his head. “Come on inside,” he invited, but instead of walking in the front door like a normal person, he chose to walk around the side of the building. Exchanging a shrug, we followed him to a back door in the brick.
“And this is…?” I gestured at the door.
The grin widened on Pierre’s face. “Our own private arsenal.”
Astrid and I shared a look of disbelief. “Excuse me?” I looked at Pierre in mild concern, wondering whether he had some brain damage. That would clear up an awful lot. “Did I hear you correctly? We have a private arsenal?”
“Yup,” he affirmed, smirking at me. “Don’t you ever watch the news, Charlie?”
The anger inside of me that seemed so constant these days was rising again. I forced it down the best I could, trying to ignore his arrogant attitude. “So we do have our own private arsenal?” I asked, as calmly as I could. “This isn’t some bull?”
“See for yourself.” Pierre pushed open the door dramatically, showing an empty space full of dust and cobwebs. I raised an eyebrow mockingly, looking sideways at Pierre to see his reaction when his fabulous arsenal was inexistent, but he wasn’t looking at me.
Josh peeked inside. “Great arsenal,” he praised mock-sincerely. “I can’t wait to start choking Decrioux’s men with cobwebs! This should be fun!”
Astrid was looking at Pierre with a furrowed brow. “Pierre, if you’re messing with us…” she said dangerously, and I couldn’t help but smile. So finally she was starting to mistrust him? Good.
But Pierre only shook his head, saying, “Oh no, you don’t understand. This isn’t the arsenal. You think I’d just stock firearms in a place this open? Come on, think. What did Decrioux do with his arsenal?”
I shrugged, and Josh mirrored this, but Astrid was frowning in thought. “He hid it…” she pondered slowly. “…in a secret passage!” Her entire face lit up, and my heart skipped a beat as that beautiful smile spread over her face. “Oh my gosh, Pierre, you’re a genius!”
And my heart came to a crashing halt. So much for her starting to hate him.
Pierre smiled slightly, putting an arm around Astrid’s shoulders. “I know I am,” he replied smugly, and I glowered at the floor. Freaking prick.
He and Astrid began to shove the walls until the secret room was revealed. Josh glanced at me as they moved in. “Just live with it,” he told me in a low voice. “It’s just gonna get worse before it gets better, you know.”
“Thanks,” I grumbled, wondering how an insensitive jerk like Josh had ever figured out I loved Astrid when she didn’t even know. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Josh shrugged, and together we followed Astrid and Pierre into the secret room. It was dark, of course, but Pierre groped with his hand until he located a string dangling from the ceiling. As he pulled this, a light flickered on, and the room was thrown into a sudden brilliance.
The next sound we all heard was our jaws hitting the floor.
“Holy. Freaking. Crap.” Josh’s voice was hushed.
I couldn’t do anything but stare. Man, when Pierre said arsenal, he meant arsenal. The room was about four feet by four feet and barely six feet tall, but the floor was covered with different types of firearms, and huddled in a corner were –
“Oh my gosh,” Astrid breathed, a huge smile spreading on her face. “You have freaking snipers’ rifles?”
Josh shook his head in disbelief as I knelt down next to the guns. Sure enough, they were high-tech sniper rifle, complete with a scope and stand. I glanced over at Astrid, who was practically glowing with pleasure. Sniping was to Astrid as blowing things up was to me. Give her a rifle and she would be content for hours, picking off dandelions in a field a hundred meters away.
“Pierre,” she whispered. “You’re amazing!” And then she proceeded to do a real Juliet, throwing her arms around his neck in an enveloping embrace. I avoided Josh’s eyes as Pierre kissed her, his hands tangled in her hair as her hands tightened around his neck.
“Hate to break this up,” Josh put in, interrupting as usual. He had a real knack for making things awkward. “But, um, Pierre? Would you mind telling us how you got these weapons here?”
Pierre broke away from Astrid, who knelt down beside me and began examining the rifles with fascination. I watched her face as her hands carefully went over every part; it was alight with rapture. I found myself wishing she would look like that around me, and when her glowing eyes met mine, even though I knew it wasn’t for me, I smiled back at her.
“Delta supplied me with them,” Pierre said in answer to Josh’s question. “How else would they get here?”
Josh nodded thoughtfully, and Astrid’s eyes were gleaming again. This effect was slightly spoiled by the fact that she was looking at Pierre instead of me. I wanted to kill Pierre for looking so smug, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and basking in the glory of Astrid’s gaze.
The meaning of his words took a moment to click in my brain, which was still filled with Astrid’s eyes. “Wait.” I frowned. “Delta gave you all this?”
Pierre looked at me with an impassive face. His green eyes were roaming my face, as if wondering how much to say. “Of course,” he said after a moment. “Who else?”
Who else indeed…
”Look,” I began carefully, coming to my feet to face him. Josh and Astrid looked at me in apprehension as I looked searchingly at Pierre’s blank face. “Delta doesn’t supply us with that sort of stuff. They just don’t. If they thought we needed it, they would have given it to us at the start.”
After all, this is what they had always done. Delta wasn’t exactly the most generous of sponsors, unlike the CIA or FBI or other groups like that. We were basically on our own, with just the bare basics of information that we needed. Of course, it wasn’t exactly difficult to get our hands on weapons, but this coolness from our employers still rankled inside.
Pierre shrugged. “Well, they did give it to me. Remember, I was here before you, right? So they gave it to me before you got here.”
It sounded like he was trying to convince himself of this, and I frowned in thought. Something wasn’t right here – but what was it? I couldn’t think of it. Pierre was looking at me in almost a wary manner, mingled with the confusion on Astrid’s and Josh’s faces.
“Okay,” I consented, nodding as I dwelled on his words. “So Delta gave this to you. Why didn’t they inform us of this, though? How come I never heard about this?”
Pierre’s eyes narrowed. “Are you suggesting something?” he asked, coldness creeping into his voice. Astrid’s eyes were wide from where she knelt, and Josh looked between us like watching a tennis match.
I shook my head, although I knew I was lying. Of course I was suggesting something; why wouldn’t I be?
“Not exactly,” I said cautiously, and certain coolness crept into my own voice as well. “I’m just wondering why I didn’t hear about this. I think it’s you who is forgetting, Pierre.” And I looked him right in the eye, realizing what had been bothering me about his statement. “I was here at the same time as you, remember? Maybe even longer, actually.”
Pierre’s eyes flared and his jaw clenched. “You are suggesting something,” he snarled, his hands clenching at his sides. “Look, Charlie, I don’t know what your problem is, okay?” But his eyes flickered to Astrid, and I knew he understood a part of it. “But you can’t go around accusing me like this. Maybe you’re just jealous because Delta decided to grant me a present instead of you; who knows.”
“Jealous?” I exploded, my hand darting to my gun. Josh stepped forward in alarm, his eyes signaling no, but I ignored him. “Why the hell should I be jealous of your connections with Delta? What has Delta ever done for me? And suddenly you, Mr. New Guy, come in and get your own arsenal!”
I didn’t even know where the anger was coming from. All the frustration, all the pain of seeing him with Astrid, seeing his attitude – all of it was bubbling up inside of me as I glared at him. It was making me sound like a little kid, I knew, but the words were tumbling out of my mouth unheeded, as if I had no control over them. All the emotions that I had bottled up for so long were overflowing as I glared at him.
Astrid had come to her knees, staring at us in shock, probably wondering what this was about. Was she seriously that blind? Josh’s hand had flown to his side, where he kept his gun, but his hand merely rested on it. He looked uncertainly at us, as if wondering if we would come to blows.
Pierre looked seriously pissed, his eyes sparking dangerously. “You think for a single moment that I’m gonna stand here and take this?” he growled. “Stop being an idiot, Gallagher, and listen to me. I think you are jealous of me.” And his eyes flew to Astrid again.
I clenched my fists. My whole body was tensed as I struggled with the urge to blow his face into smithereens as it twisted in a smirk at me. “I’m not jealous,” I scoffed.
“You are,” he said, nodding with that arrogance that I hated and Astrid seemed to love. “Face it, Charlie; maybe Delta is more willing to support me because I’m actually doing something here.”
He took a step closer to me so that we were barely six inches apart. “You say you were here before me? What happened then? Nothing! What did you accomplish? Nothing! And once I stepped in, what happened then? Things – started – happening!” He punctuated each word with a jabbing finger towards my chest.
Sparks seemed to fly from my eyes as my chest heaved. “Well, how ‘bout that,” I breathed, my anger pounding in my temples. “The idiot thinks he can do something.”
Pierre swore loudly, causing Astrid to scramble to her feet and Josh to jump backwards in shock. “I’m the idiot?” he snapped at me. “I’m right, and you know it! Nothing has been happening here, and I’m fed up with it! Every time I turn around you’re glaring at me, like it’s my fault we haven’t found anything. You know who came up with the plan that discovered the new drug? Me! You know who is coming up with a new plan this very instance? Me! And what about you?”
I could feel my whole body shaking, my knuckles whitening. “Yeah, what about me?” I challenged.
“Charlie, don’t,” Astrid begged, but I shot her such a look of fury that her mouth snapped shut.
“Shut up, Astrid,” I snapped at her, my anger causing me to sound like I was having a tantrum, but I didn’t care. “I want to hear what His Majesty has to say.”
She looked at me in shock, as if she didn’t know I had it in me, but I had my eyes fixed on Pierre as he glared at me.
When he spoke, his voice was low and almost a growl. “You think you know everything because you’ve been with Delta six years. You think you can waltz in here and solve this thing like it’s a freaking puzzle. But you know what, Gallagher?”
Words were spilling out of his mouth so fast that they were practically uncontrolled. “You’ve done nothing here, nothing! I wait, I’m patient, I let you try to figure things out. We’ve messed up because of you, and I’m sick of it. You haven’t done enough, okay? You’ve just haven’t freaking done enough!”
I stepped closer to him, getting in his face.
“Charlie!” Astrid warned, trying to step between us, but I pushed her aside.
“I haven’t done enough?” I repeated, the words coming out in a snarl as I spat in Pierre’s face. “I haven’t done enough?”
“Yes!” Pierre shot back as Astrid tried to intervene again. “Why are we still in this mess? Why haven’t we figured out more yet? And above all, why didn’t you do more when you actually had the chance?”
My vision was blurring; all I was aware of was the sound of every neuron in my body screaming for me to kill Pierre, to clamp my hands around his neck.
“Stop!” Astrid cried, sounding close to tears. “Just stop, both of you!”
I wanted to shake her. Didn’t she see what he was doing? Did she honestly agree with him?
“Fine then,” I growled at Pierre. “You lead us. You get us out of this mess. You bring us home, and wipe out Decrioux in the process. You’re right; we did screw up. But because of me? No. So you think you can get us out of this? Knock your socks off, and say whatever you want to these two. But keep me out of it. You don’t want me here? Fine! I’ll just leave.”
“Charlie!” Astrid’s voice tore at my heart, but I was still too furious to think twice about it. “He doesn’t mean it! We do want you!”
But I was already stalking towards the exit, my whole body shaking with rage as Pierre’s words replayed in my head. He obviously didn’t want me, and while Josh might, Astrid wasn’t exactly rushing to stop me from leaving, either. She stood across from the exit, her eyes shiny with unshed tears as she looked between Pierre and me.
Choosing.
“Charlie,” Josh tried, stepping in front of me, but I shoved him to one side.
“Get out of the way,” I snarled, and then a hand grabbed the back of my shirt, slamming me into the wall before I could retaliate. As the shock from the jolt left my body, I looked up into the green eyes of Pierre, who seemed to be two seconds away from killing me.
But only if I didn’t murder him first.
“Listen, Gallagher,” he breathed.
“What do you want?” I snarled, my head still ringing from its collision with the wall. “Spit it out; tell me what orders you’re giving next.”
“Leave him alone, Pierre,” Astrid pleaded, pulling on his sleeve. “Come on, guys, it’s nothing; you’re all just overtired, okay?”
I looked at her, and my heart seemed to snap as I saw the look in her eyes, as if I was some dangerous animal. “You think I messed up?” I asked her, my voice shaking. “You think that?”
“Charlie – I –” She didn’t seem to be able to speak, her hands clenching and unclenching in front of her. I tore my eyes away from her, looking back into Pierre’s furious face.
“Go ahead, tell me,” I told him coldly, my anger turning into a sort of furious calm. “Tell me what you want, just as you always do. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Pierre seemed to be struggling with his words, as if he didn’t want to say too much in front of Astrid. I thought it was a bit late for that; she still looked shocked at our argument, as if she actually hadn’t known our mutual hatred for one another.
Finally he spoke. “It’s true that I hate you, and it’s true that you screwed this up. But you don’t just walk out on us, understand? Your job is here, and if you want to leave now, I’ll be informing Delta of that, and you can be the one to explain to Alan Young, all right?”
I jerked my shirt out of his grasp, struggling for a counterargument. My blood was boiling as I glared at him, my chest heaving. Trust him to come up with something I couldn’t argue with. I knew that if he reported me to Young, I was screwed. Delta didn’t take failure very nicely – just look at Jay.
So there was nothing I could do. Pierre would just have to win this one, like he had won practically everything else that I had every wanted. Getting an arsenal from Delta. Getting these cars from nowhere. And getting the heart of the one I loved.
My eyes darted to Astrid, whose eyes were huge; to Josh, who was still standing in front of the exit; and back to Pierre, who was still staring me in the eye.
“Fine,” I snapped after a long moment. “I’ll stay, okay? But not for you.”
No, it was Astrid I was staying for, even though I was beginning to wonder why.
Pierre was looking at me as if he expected another argument coming from me, but I knew when I had lost. “Now would you let go of my freaking shirt?” I asked irritably, trying to pull away from him again.
Pierre dropped his hand, disgust written all over his face as he turned away from me. Josh was looking like he had been shot in the stomach, his eyes meeting mine as I looked at him, but his mouth remaining closed.
My eyes moved to Astrid, wondering how she would respond to all this. She was staring at me in obvious alarm, her mouth opening like she wanted to say something, but then it closed again. The words seemed to have trouble coming out of her mouth. She glanced over at Pierre, who was inspecting the arsenal, and then she turned away from me silently. Walking over to Pierre’s side, she slipped an arm around his waist and said something to him in a soft tone that I could barely hear.
I stood stock still, my heart squeezing painfully. So she had just chosen talking to Pierre over talking to me. She actually thought that I had started this, that I was the one who had messed up. And yet who had it been you had led Josh and Astrid to Decrioux’s manor the day I had met up with them? Pierre! And Astrid had ended up shot. Who had agreed to going to the nightclub when I insisted that we didn’t go? Pierre! And Astrid ended up having her heart broken all over again.
And yet she still went with him, after all that? Even with Jay weighing down hard on her conscience as well?
I couldn’t believe it. I honestly couldn’t believe it. But there she was, Pierre’s hand on the small of her back as they crouched next to the snipers’ rifles, talking animatedly as if the argument had never happened.
A fist had closed over my heart as I watched the back of her dark head moving, watched Pierre stroke her hair slightly before touching her cheek. I really had lost this time, and every time. I had lost the most important thing in my life. For now Astrid most likely thought I was a temperamental, self-centered prick.
What was the matter with me?
Josh looked at me, half-sympathetically and half-concernedly, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. He, too, opened his mouth to say something to me, but closed it again as no words came out, just like Astrid had done a moment ago.
“Find something violent for me, will you?” I choked out, gesturing towards Pierre’s precious weapon stash. I was unable to meet Josh’s accusing eyes and simply turned to exit the room.
“Charlie!” Josh called from inside, half-exiting as he stared at me. “Come on; don’t take it like that, please! It’s not worth it!”
But my head was filled with Pierre’s words: You screwed this up…this is all your fault…you know what, I think you are jealous…
And I knew I was too angry to let this slide; I knew that there was no way I was just going to let this all go like nothing had happened. Pierre could do that, and Astrid no doubt would go right along with him like the world was fine. Like she didn’t need the one who was merely her “best friend” and yet had been there all along for her, through everything. And eventually Josh would forget it too; he wasn’t the revengeful sort.
But I wasn’t going to forget about it quite that rapidly. Pierre’s words were a physical blow to me, as if he had pinned me to the wall and slammed his fist into me instead of just yelling. And the look of unease on Astrid’s face as she looked at me – as if she feared for my sanity – as if she thought I was just jealous after all – it was too much to bear.
Why did he hate me?
It wasn’t like Astrid was going to fall in love with me any time soon, especially after all that. Pierre didn’t have any competition going that way. So why did he take that much effort to point out all of my flaws, all of my faults, all of the stuff I had messed up on? We all had messed up; that much was clear. This assignment wasn’t going at all as planned.
So why was it me?
I leaned against the car, thankful for the deserted street that the old post office was on. It was only eight in the morning, so it was logical that no one was around; especially in this tiny town. I put my head in my arms, thinking back to what I had said.
I had asked him why Delta had given him the weapons. And he had completely flipped out. But what was the matter with my question? Unless he had something to hide…I shook my head in annoyance. There was no reason to be like this; he definitely was too thick to have anything to hide.
As much as I hated to admit it, he was on my side.
I raised my head, staring up at the sky as the sun shone brightly in a strong contrast to my mood. Its rays shining on the black roof of the post office reminded me of Astrid’s eyes gleaming as she smiled, as she gazed at the rifles…as she looked at Pierre.
I swore, driving my fist into the hood of the car and instantly regretting it as my knuckles started bleeding.
Why was my life so messed up? Why couldn’t I just have a nice, normal spy life like everyone else?