Noah POV
Nathan waits expectantly while I see Av snuggle down on the hospital bed, over to the side, making room for me.
I take a deep breath.
I don't want to hurt Av with my decision and there's nothing in the world I would rather be doing then be right next to her...
but...
I know how important Nathan is to her and to be honest, there is the fact that I'm not in control yet. I feel my brain keep sliding in the thought that Av is naked under my shirt, what she felt like against my skin. It grapples with my father's words causing me to want to punch something to get the pain of the barrage out. I want to just rip his shit out of my head.
"Since I'm privy to where giant vagynas frequently habit, least I could do would be to take you," I don't smile. I don't even attempt too. I can't. The guy in front of me is way too much like me, but he is the lesser of the two evils facing my heightened unfamiliar state. It's hard to even vocalise anything in front of him.
I do not want to lose control and hurt Av accidentally right now, never again. I need to compartmentalize what I'm feeling... whereas Nathan can take it if I do lose control. And I need to face the fact I do need to develop somewhat of a tolerant relationship with him. I'm in this with Av for the long run and I can tell in the cold blue eyes narrowing in my direction he could make that difficult.
"What?" Av chuckles but I can tell she's masking her disappointment. Warmth floods my stomach that she can even miss me.
"You're going to leave my sister here? By herself?" his voice is way colder than his eyes. Doesn't affect me as I'm a cold son of a bitch too.
Although, there is more to that question than I feel I understand.
My gaze flicks to Avalon, she sitting up now. Whatever she says will go. "It's okay. I'm hungry and if Noah takes you it will save a vagyna hunt, then you'll both be back sooner than later. I'll have grab a bite to eat and watch something." She nods at the TV hanging silently above her bed.
Nathan swings around to face her, his broad back tense and bulging through his thin shirt. I'm already regretting this. Especially, when I look back to my girl, in that bed she seems vulnerable and small.
"Serious?"
"Yeah, you'll want to grab the Grim costume... trust me, it will go with the car," she smiles.
Nathan pulls out the reaper costume and whispers something to her, she nods and reminds him to take a photo. He steps back.
I move forward not caring and pull her to me, she instantly wraps her arms around me and I want to stay.
She leans into my ear. "This better not be because you are terrified of your car being wrecked because Nathan taught me to drive you know. We're awesome drivers. And I will find you."
Her lips move softly against my lobe causes me to almost push her back and crush her to me simultaneously.
"I'd drive it off a cliff if you asked me too," I whisper back before standing up.
*****(8(J)8)*****
She's not there when I get back, and the guilt that I have felt since the absolute millisecond I walked out of her room hits me like a bone-crushing wave on the shore.
Panic wells up in me. I move toward the bathroom. The doors open and it's empty.
I back away willing her to pop out of somewhere and scare the shit out of me. She doesn't.
I will her voice to echo over the loud speaker or her to push some mad patient in a wheelchair.
I will anything.
I head to the nurses station I snuck past earlier. As I pass the elevator, it bings and the door opens.
My heart falters.
She's there, holding on to the railing and taking deep breathes. She looks sick, pale and clammy.
My body moves to her instinctively, grabbing her up in my arms. She smiles lethargically.
"What should I do? Do you need a doctor? What's wrong?" I fumble over all the questions from the fear flooding my body.
She shakes her head. "I think I just need to lay down for a minute. I watched something... hideous."
I carry her to bed, lying her down carefully in the middle. She moves over like she did before I left and this time I manage to calmly manoeuvre myself next to her. My arm next to hers.
"So," I turn to her. "You watched something hideous? An autopsy or something?" I'm almost scared to ask but interest overrules that. I want to know what made her queasy, something I thought might be impossible.
"I decided since Del is having a baby and we live on a station I should take the chance to learn how to actually go about delivering one." Her face pales again making her blue eyes change from their normal cornflower blue to a slight aqua colour. "What a mistake. My octopus has shrivelled up and took half my brain with it," she moans.
I don't ask.
I wait.
A tactic I have noticed Avalon uses a lot. I see lots of things I hadn't picked up before in the silence, Av has showered, no blood anywhere in sight and she smells very unlike her. Not even the tiniest whiff of horse. It doesn't fit with her. It seems somehow worse than when she was sitting on that floor in the shop with her wings spread out.
"Babies are... horribly made."
I can't help but chuckle. Again, not what I was expecting.
"Really?" I ask with a bit of amusement.
"Really," she says flatly. "When horses' or cows' foal or calf there's no crazed screaming or whatever. They can get up and down most of the time and the foal comes out all angled like, you know?"
I shake my head.
She starts to get animated and demonstrates with her arms. The pink slowly blooms in her cheeks making my stomach feel weird. "So at first one leg comes out and after about 10 or fifteen centimetres the other one comes out so the shoulders are angled and not straight on so their shoulders aren't going to be this huge part to get out. Babies," she cringes... "babies are like little old, alien bodies with watermelon heads. It's wrong! I'm so glad you guys handled my giant vagyna because I never want to see one again in my life!" She throws her arms down and closes her eyes with a grimace then snuggles into my side. I wrap my arm around her and can't help but pull her closer and softly kiss her hair.
"Not even a photo of one with a semi-trailer emerging from it?" I tease her, inwardly grimacing at the whole set up Nathan concocted.
One eyes peers at me and then roves around the room. "Hold on. Where is my brother?"
"When we were driving to Harry's we saw Chops meandering down the street. So after we got the props, found an open toy shop and broke into the school. Chops and Nathan went out for the night."
Concern mars her beautiful face, "Why was Chops walking around at night here?"
"Trying to find you on the find my friend's thing you put on his phone," I reply, studying her perfect face. "He was in town for the sales and wanted to catch up. Either he must know you guys pretty damn well or has no idea who the Grim Reaper is because he happily jumped in the car after Nathan woohooed him in that bloody outfit."
"I bet he yelled at everyone," Av giggles.
"It was a nightmare," I close my own eyes and think of him hanging out my window trying to hit cars with his sickle. He has this ability - just like Avalon - to get you half wanting to do it, I started to look forward to traffic lights where he took it upon himself to get out and freak drivers out, one even took off through a red light. After that, he was on a mission. Again, like his sister, the constant goal changes toward more and more carnage.
Chops just went along with it. With his permanent grin.
She's studying the pic on my phone of the giant vagyna set up of that Amanda's locker. Nathan had written 'Free. Fits anything you want." And somehow set it up to have Amanda (don't ask me where he got the pic) pointing down like it was an offer that she thought couldn't be refused. Shouldn't be refused. That she was proud of it.
I don't like girls... apart from Av, but...
Nathan... Nathan has no mercy.
I experienced a funny sensation watching him with Chops, since I met him I felt he was needed in my life to protect Av from me, keep me on my best behavior, make me pay a terrible debt if I stuffed up but there was, for one small second, a part that wanted a friendship with him like Chops had.
But then I realised I have total acceptance already, with Av. Is it safe for her though?
My little blue-eyed devil doesn't push me for more, I'm sure she's probably used to Nathan telling stories, he's good at it. When he was telling Chops about the hat pranks he and Av did I felt like they were the best tales I've ever heard, and couldn't believe I was mentioned in the last one. It felt surreal. I may just have to get the Grim reaper duel tattooed on my back.
"I have to show you!" she says pulling me too my feet. I miss her warmth already but like usual I follow her, like I will for the rest of my life.
I've discovered that there's nothing quite like the feeling of when her small hand seeks mine, it's crazy. She was naked against my skin, everything pressed against mine but her hand in mine makes me feel like I'm a giant.
"There!" she points breaking my revere of her hand in mine. "Look at them!"
I realise where we are and I don't even tremble. I don't even breathe. The last time I was in this very spot I was holding pressed against the glass while my Mum and Dad beamed next to me. My mum so proud of her blue-eyed baby.
"I'm so glad you seem to agree," Av's voice filters through the mist of ghostly pictures invading my brain. "Frightening aren't they? Nathan should have put a plastic baby doll in the Vag instead of a truck. Way more terrifying."
I see my Mum smiling holding the baby dancing and singing, the ribbons in her hair swaying with her happiness. I remember her beckoning me in and ushering me to a chair. Sit, sit. Slowly lowering the baby like precious gold into my lap.
Her hands wind around my waist under my shirt. "Tell me," she whispers softly.
I stare at her again, taken aback by how much I feel for her. How much I want to tell her.
She'll hate me though. Hating and blaming myself, Seth's dad, my dad and my mother is one thing. Hating my sister is another.