After tossing and turning for yet another night, Anna decides to forgo sleep. Whenever she manages to drift off, that's when the nightmares begin anyway, and she wakes suddenly in a cold sweat. Shakily, she throws off her covers and sits upright until her heart beat returns to normal.
Tonight was similar to every other night. Just as her eyelids flutter closed, visions of Loki appear. Sometimes she sees him in Asgard, chained in a dank prison cell - one she's never seen before - and other times they're in the dungeons with the Tesseract. This time, her dreams took her back to their cell at Restitution. Instead of reliving her own torture, she's forced to observe Loki's. They had her chained to a chair on the other side of the observation glass, watching while Magnus brandishes the plasma torch to draw grotesque imagery all over Loki's pale skin. Every strip of glowing blue fire hits him like the crack of a whip, and he cries out in pain while Anna is forced to listen to his screams.
Sometimes she manages to escape her bonds, but inevitably she is met with the cattle prod - electricity crackling from the tip - while it sends a powerful current through her body again and again. Whether she succeeds or fails, she never reaches him in time. The blue gas always seeps from the air vents, snaking toward Loki until he begins convulsing and she's forced to watch him die.
She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she pushes a strand of hair off her sweat-covered forehead. Normally she wakes up before Loki dies in her nightmares, but tonight the horrors continued until he was dead and Magnus had turned his torture on her as well.
Standing up, Anna changes quickly into workout clothing, forgoing leggings for sweatpants, and pulls her hair into a lazy bun. The circles under her eyes are only growing worse, something cosmetics can only fix to a certain degree, and she can't be bothered to worry about her appearance now.
She makes her way to the training room in silence. When she pushes into the large room, she's surprised to see that she's not alone. Steve occupies one corner, and he's taking out his frustrations on a punching bag that looks like it has definitely seen better days.
"Can't sleep?" She asks softly, watching as he lands another powerful punch before whirling around to face her with a look of surprise.
His eyes soften and he shrugs, "I don't sleep. Not really."
"Me neither," Anna admits. "Although I think you might be a little better equipped for it than I am."
He chuckles, grabbing his water bottle and taking a swig, before unwrapping his hands.
"Natasha told me I should train with you, but she didn't mention that training sessions would happen at 3AM," he jokes.
"Have you spoken to Natasha?"
Steve nods, "I saw her after she testified on Capitol Hill, briefly."
"I saw that on TV," Anna replies. "She called me, but she wasn't really able to talk. Said she'd be back in a week or two. Kinda feels like I keep finding people and losing them right when I discover what they mean to me."
It was hard, being reunited with the sister she never knew she had only to be separated once more, but Anna understands why Natasha is gone. Her sister is passionate about her work, and she would never want to stand in the way of Natasha's opportunity to do something right. From what her sister has told her, Natasha's history is murky at best, and she's eager for any opportunity to come out of the shadows.
"Do you..." Steve pauses, "Do you wanna talk about it? About...um...him?"
"No," Anna lets out a bitter laugh. "I'm done talking about things. I just...I can't. He's gone, and I'm here. I don't know if that will ever change. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't hold on to the past, but..."
"...it's easier said than done," he finishes, his blue eyes darkening at the thought. "Trust me, I understand."
She gives him a sad smile, "I suppose you do. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he encourages. "C'mon, let's see what you've got."
"You want me to fight you? A super soldier?" Anna asks.
Steve laughs, "Don't tell Tony, but your sister can kick my ass if she really wants to. Word on the street is you're almost as good as her. Almost."
Anna smiles, this one genuine, and she drops her water bottle on the bench. Walking toward the center of the mats, she takes a deep breath and prepares herself to face Steve.
"Alright then," she tells him. "Let's see if we can do better than 'almost'."
*****
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Double update on The Ides Of July! Whaaaaat?
I wanted to take a break from AHTK tonight (new chapter tomorrow), but I still wanted to write so voila. Enjoy!
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