‘Valex,’ Suna said into the silence. He put his quill down and turned to attention.
‘Yes?’
‘Can I have a bath,’
Valex looked confused at the request but was more so stumped at the word that came next.
‘Please?’ Suna sweetly added.
‘Uh, Sure,’ he stood and extended his hand to her. She happily took it. Valex placed a hand gently on her shoulder and turned her around, he tied her hands behind her back gently, ‘Sorry, I have to,’ he said when he saw her face fall. He ran his finger over her thumb softly, before opening the door and checking the hallway. Empty.
He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, out into the hallway. She felt her cheeks heat when he pulled her flat against him and she could feel his muscles under his top with her chest. He shut the door, grabbing her hands lightly he led her to the closest wash room, which was Valex’s personal one.
On the way he pointed out many cameras and speakers, stopping when he saw soldiers walking, explaining how to tell them apart. How they all have a specific mark on their uniform, and which belongs to whom.
The first years had a white strip around the edge of their uniform and clothing, like a beginner in a tae kwon do class. When their rank goes up, so does their colour.
‘The darker the strip, the more experience.’
The second years have a green strip. Third years have a red strip. Seniors a brown strip and the specialist wear black, unless, of course they choose otherwise.
The specialist soldiers are the only group aloud to wear whatever they want, whenever they want. If they are questioned on their uniform, have permission to show the questioner why they have none; which usually meant a brutal beating and a week in the dungeon.
‘As harsh as it is, everyone must know their place,’ Valex explained as he unlocked and entered his wash chamber, he pulled Suna in behind him. ‘If one gets away with something then they all think they can, which can cause disciple problem. Stuff we just don’t need, not at the moment.’
Valex untied Suna and handed her another one of his tops to change into when she was done. He pointed to the bath in the other room.
‘Sorry, but it’s all I have to offer you at the moment, I’ll get the seamstress to make you up some gowns when I see her next.’
Accepting the top she smiled, ‘No, its okay, really,’ She pulled the top against her chest, ‘I like wearing your tops, they fit like dresses and they smell like you...’ she said before she could stop herself.
Valex looked at her and she looked at him. A small smile crossed Valex’s face as he turned, ‘There’s a hairbrush on the sill, if you need anything else I’ll be over here waiting.’
He went and sat on a wooden chair next to the door. Suna opened her mouth then shut it again. Why had she said something like that, she felt like a complete idiot now. Now things would be weird again.
Suna decided to not worry about it and let the warmth of the water wash away her worries, for the time being at least.
She sunk into the bath, letting the water rise up to her neck then dunked herself under. She scrubbed at her body with the purple soap, hissing when it hit a still unhealed wound.
Rubbing the soap into her hair she decided it was time for a change. Washing her long black mop was a challenge considering how thick it was. She washed it with soap then found shampoo, one of the rare things they made in this ‘kingdom’.
Rinsing it out of her hair, she could smell apples. It made her hungry, again.
After soaking a lot longer than needed be, she decided it was time to get out and deal with this mess of hair that was annoying her.
Grabbing the brush, she walked over to the mirror.
Her body went cold when she saw the reflection looking back. Dropping the brush and moving her hands to her mouth she started to cry.
Hot tears that felt like acid ran down her face. This wasn’t her body. This one was scarred, head to toe.
Sobbing, she moved her hair back off of her shoulder so she could access herself further. Stepping closer she could see her scars had scars.
She looked down at her body and slowly ran a hand over her stomach, the bumps were real. She could feel them throb when she touched them. This wasn’t just a cruel joke. This was her body.
Disgusted, she looked away. She let out a loud snort, cry before angrily picking up the hair brush and running it through her hair.
Lumps and clumps fell out. She brushed hard and it hurt. She was sobbing harder than before.
Valex heard her sobbing and his footsteps grew close.
‘Suna,’ His voice hinted worry, ‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t look at me!’ She scream cried at him ‘Don’t you dare look at me!’
Valex confusion was obvious in his stuttered voice, ‘I, I wasn’t...’
After hearing her sob a little more he asked ‘What’s the matter?’
Suna was too busy yanking at her hair to care about responding. She had fixed her hair and it actually looked and felt like hair now. Sighing loudly she moved herself from the ground and pulled on the jumper she was given.
‘Suna?’
She opened the door, her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her nose was running and her lip trembled. He took one look at her and his heart sunk into the pit of his stomach, he pulled her tightly against him.
‘I’m ugly!’ she cried into his chest, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed loudly.
His heart jumped up into his throat. He couldn’t believe what she had just said, she was beautiful. She was like his glowing star in a world of darkness. There was so much he could think of to say but he could never tell her any of it. He shouldn’t even be thinking of her like that. It was dangerous and forbidden and he wouldn’t allow it to happen again. Instead he just shook his head and said,
‘Oh, Suna...’
Back in Valex chambers she was laid out on his bed. ‘Idiot’ She cursed herself. ‘You broke a rule, in front of Valex of all people! My god, you are a moron!’
Suna shook her head at herself. She had broken a rule. Self pity was frowned upon. She now had to punish herself.
Sitting up she scanned the room for a way to punish herself. Her eyes fell upon a sleeping Valex, lounging on the couch with his feet crossed on a pile of books.
His head was held up lazily with his hand and his arm swayed under the pressure. You couldn’t see his face because of his copper locks, but the huffs that came from his direction made Suna almost positive that he was asleep.
She moved slowly off the bed and walked over to the chest, a candle sat on top, it was flickering a small glow around the room.
This would have to do.
In her mind she read to herself, ‘For breaking the rule of self-pity, you hear-by are punished by candle wax. Let the hot wax burn into your skin, blistering you.’ Suna poured wax onto the back of her wrist, crunching her nose when it contacted her skin, ‘For every time you look at this scar, you will remember the time you once felt pity for your-self and know never to do wrong again. Sha, sha.’
Suna let out a small whimper then regained her tough composer. She aloud her skin to blister and allowed it to sit on her skin until it cooled. Suna could see that it had blistered automatically and peeled the wax off, along with the blister.
The spot where the blister was supposed to be, bleed. It stung more now with the exposed flesh then it did before when she was allowing the wax to cool. Suna took a deep breath and ignored the pain.
‘Why?’ Valex spoke causing Suna to grab the knife she had attached to her thigh and jump around to face him. Normally she would have thrown the knife straight away, no matter who it was, but because she knew it was him, she couldn’t do it; she let her hand stay attached.
She was growing weak without her Master’s beatings. Angrily she placed the knife on the desk next to the candle and mentally stabbed Valex.
‘Why?’ He repeated.
‘Why, what?’ Suna growled, climbing back into his bed.
‘You know what,’ He barked back, ‘don’t you get snippy with me,’
‘I don’t need to explain my reasons to you Valex.’ He stood and walked slyly up to the edge of the bed, placing his arm against the wall, he leant over her.
‘Yeah, you do,’ He held a very smug smile ‘why did you do that?’
She wanted to stab him in the throat for being so cocky but instead she said ‘Rules are rules.’ She rolled angrily on her side and faced the wall.
‘Well your rules are stupid,’ he moved the back of his hand over his forehead then sighed, ‘then again, you are ruthless, I wouldn’t expect anything less,’ He looked at the side of her face, what he could see anyway, her hair had fallen around her. ‘Let me see?’
She remained silent.
‘Suna, let me see.’
When she failed to listen a second time, he felt something break inside him, a bubble that felt like fire exploded and he yanked Suna onto her back then pulled her arms up above her head and chained her to the wall again.
Suna didn’t expect the sudden man handling and her mouth fell open. Valex had gotten up and was next to the bed, pacing back and forth.
She could feel the frustration radiating off him.
‘All I wanted was to help you.’ His voice was fierce, ‘all I wanted was for you to help get everyone free. It was an easy job: get you, get them, get out.’
‘But you had to be so different to what I expected! You weren’t meant to be this stubborn, this sensitive, this kind, this fucking confusing!’
Suna pulled against her chains as she sat up, they dug into her skin and she could feel them digging into her healing scabs.
‘Why did you have to make everything so complicated?’
Suna watched him as he gestured to her, she had no idea what he was going on about, what had brought this on, why he was screaming at her with such hate.
Valex looked at her, arms now back behind her, fiddling with the attachment on the wall, trying to undo them. It made him think of her, his last mission. Iylah.