August 20th 2000.
Greenwood Village, Colorado.
New York, New York.
The tour had been going absolutely amazing. I was so proud of myself and my team for how well we'd handled it so far and I was prepared to make our final night the best so far. No matter how hard I had to work and how little down time I had, I loved every minute of my job. Currently I was going through the final details of tonight's show. "Soundcheck?" I asked the tour crew that surrounded me.
"Done" the sound guy replied.
"Lights?"
"All finished" The lighting crew answered.
"What about the lights on the props?"
"Yep all good" I ticked of the checkbox on my clipboard.
"And the tour merch?"
"All set up and ready to go".
"Perfect, that's it then! Good job today guys, let's try to make this the best show yet okay?" I got a chorus of agreement and light cheering and then I dismissed them all to get prepared for the final show which began in less than three hours. Soon enough the crowd would arrive and it would be pure pandemonium. The kind of pandemonium I thrived off. As I skimmed down my list making sure I'd addressed everything I needed to I noticed Nathan, Marshall's younger brother, approaching me. Marshall had brought him along to some of the tour's shows to hang out and meet me, and so far we had gotten on amazingly. Yes, he was a teenage boy who perhaps idolized his older brother too much, but I thought he was a really great kid. "Hey Nate how's it going?"
He jumped up on a empty crate and sat dangling his legs over the edge "Good. I'm real excited for tonight, should be dope".
"Yeah it's gonna be amazing".
"Marshall's looking for you by the way" he shoved his hands in his baggy pants.
"Where is he?" I put away my pen in my pocket and tucked clip board under my arm.
"Dressing room" he jumped down from the crate and shook the dust off his pants.
"Thanks" I pointed my finger at him as I backed away. "Don't cause any trouble while I'm gone". Throughout the tour he managed to pull a few pranks on Marshall, me and even poor staff members.
"Can't promise anything!" he shouted at my back as I turned the corner. I hurriedly made my way through the long corridors till I managed to navigate myself to Marshall's dressing room. I rapped my knuckles loudly against the door and entered before waiting for a reply. Marshall lay down on the couch head propped up by cushions as he talked on the phone.
He acknowledged my presence with a small smile and beckoned me over to him. "I love you too baby. I'll be home tomorrow and I can't wait to see you and Laney". I sat on his stomach a knee either side of his body and prodded at his belly causing him to hit my hands away. "You getting ready for bed soon? Be good for your mother okay? Love you Hails. Bye sweetie" he blew a loud raspberry down the phone and I could just make out a wee giggle from Hailie on the other end of the line. "You having fun?" he referenced to the small attack I was unleashing on his stomach. I just nodded and laughed as he did it back to me, prodding my stomach.
"So guess what?"
"What?" he asked humoring me.
"I can watch you perform tonight! I'm gonna get my assistant Freddie to manage everything for the 40 minutes or so" I excitedly revealed. You'd be surprised at how little I actually got to see the acts perform on my tours. I could usually hear Marshall do his set as I worked throughout each concert but I'd never actually seen him perform in the flesh.
"Really? That's great baby" he halfheartedly replied.
"You alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine, it's just... I was planning to tell you something after the concert but I may as well tell you now that your here" his face was sketched with discomfort. Instantly my guard was raised for whatever he was about to reveal to me, whether it was good or bad.
"What is it?" Carefully he slid me off his lap until we were sitting side by side, turned into each other.
"Don't get mad" he warned.
"If you think I'm going to get mad, I probably will".
"Man I don't know how to say this" he scratched the back of his neck. "You know that night before we left for the tour?"
"The night you left me and got that awful tattoo? Yeah I remember. " I shot back, still not completely over that night.
"Yeah. Well basically I followed Kim out that night to a club she was going to because I thought she was seeing someone. And I found it fucked up how she said that we couldn't date when I thought she was. Then I saw her kissing this fucking douche Guerrera when I was in the car, and I lost it basically. I ran out of my car and hit him".
"You what?"
"And now I'm being charged because he claimed I pistol-whipped him. But the pistol was in my pocket not aimed at him or nothing". He said it with such ease. The words just rolled off his tongue like this wasn't a big deal to him.
"You own a gun?" I half whispered in horror to which I got a slow confused nod in reply. "And your telling me this happened what, nearly three months ago Marshall and your only just telling me now?"
"I know, I should of said that night". I stood up and backed away from him, wanting to be anywhere but this suddenly claustrophobic dressing room. For once in my life I didn't know what to say. "Cassie?" he stood up and approached me.
"I need to think for a bit" I mumbled before I raced out of the room and went straight to where I knew Zoey would be. We'd gotten close over the course of the tour and I needed to vent to someone, and other than a random staff member she was my only option. I quickly walked to D12's dressing room where she usually hung out, or wherever Proof happened to be. Luckily only they were in the room, the rest of D12 obviously giving them some privacy, not that I cared in that moment. "I need to talk to you guys" I barged into the room ignoring the fact that they were mid kiss.
"What Cassie?" Zoey whined pulling away from Proof.
"What's up?" Proof greeted slumping back into the couch, his arm laying across Zoey's shoulder.
"Sorry for interrupting it's just, Ugh!" I groaned. "He's fucking with my head! I don't know what to think".
"What's the fool done now?" Proof joked.
"More like what did you two do?" he raised his eyebrow at me questioningly. "He only just told me about what went down the night before the tour" I look of realization washed over his face. "And I know for a fact you were there with him".
"So he told you huh?"
"What are guys talking about?" Zoey piped up looking between us with concern in her eyes.
"Marshall apparently got into an altercation when he saw Kim kissing someone else and now he's going to court for it" I stated bluntly, resulting in Zoey's eyes widening in shock.
"It sounds bad, but lots of drugs and alcohol were involved Cass. He wasn't thinking straight and more than anything he was pissed because she said you two couldn't be together and then she was with someone". He calmly explained to stop my frustration from escalating, having experienced my wrath first hand. I sighed and sat in the armchair opposite them.
"What's the deal between them anyway? He's never told me anything".
"Where do I start? They dated on and off for like 10 years and then they got married which we all advised him not to. Their relationship has always been rocky. Even when it was good, it was bad. Together they are the most jealous and violent versions of themselves, forreal. You know really malicious kind of stuff, constant cheating and all that".
"Violent?" I gulped just thinking of it, suddenly being reminded of the song 'Kim' on his album.
"It was two sided but believe me I know it was wrong and fucked up. Not super violent, but definitely some shoving and slapping". For the second time in the night I was rendered speechless. Marshall was violent? I mean I knew his songs were, and I'd heard Kim but I thought that was just a persona. He wouldn't actually hurt me would he?
"Proof, can I speak with Cassie alone for a second?" Zoey asked sweetly.
"Sure" He stood up and made his way out but paused in the doorway. "He means well Cassie. He always means well, he just has a real fucked up way of showing it". I gave him a small nod before I moved to sit where Proof was and rested my head on Zoey's shoulder as she hugged me tightly with one arm.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"It's up to you babe" she lightly stroked my hair out of my face.
"I'm so lost. I feel like I can't trust him because he's hiding things from me" I paused before continuing, "but I really like him".
"It's a tough one. I think you should really think about this you know? Think of all the pro's and con's, that always helps me".
"I hate this. I don't like when my emotions get in the way of my rational thinking". I was surprising myself by how much I was opening up to her, usually I never involved friends in my romantic life.
"Boys are the worst" she joked earning a light laugh from me.
"Agreed" I sighed.
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"You" I pointed a finger at one the many staff I didn't know the name of. "Go get Mars-Eminem from his dressing room. He's on in ten". She feverishly nodded her head before shuffling off to the direction of the dressing room. All day I'd been thinking about what to do with the flood of information I'd received, and I'd finally come to some sort of resolution. I waited till he went on stage before I went to go watch, in an attempt to avoid him a little bit. He was amazing on stage, the energy and passion he had was undeniable. Anyone could tell this is what made him happy and what he was meant to do. Watching him caused me to weirdly swell with pride, a feeling I'd never had in a relationship before. Halfway through his set he noticed me in the wings when he went to get a drink of water and not so discreetly slip a couple of pills. It seemed that he ramped up his performance even more when he saw me.
When he finished he ran off stage with Proof, sweating buckets and looking completely spaced out. Immediately he located where I was standing, slightly away from everyone else "Baby, you came to watch".
"I said I would didn't I?" He looked slightly guilty when I said that and didn't say anything in reply.
"I'm gonna head up to the hotel room. Come up when you've had time to chill a bit" I pecked him once on the cheek, and began to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me round. He planted a sweet kiss on lips before anyone could see.
"I'll be up soon".
Whilst I waited in the hotel room I called Jordan to remind her I was coming home tomorrow and asked if she could pick me up from the airport. Marshall however came up to the room quicker than I thought he would, usually he liked to relax after and cool down after the sudden burst of adrenaline but I think he really wanted to talk to me.
"Hey". I looked up from the glass of red wine I was busying pouring at Marshall.
"Hey. You want something to drink?" I offered.
"Nah I'm good".
A brief silence took over as I sipped on my wine but I wasted no time and dove straight into the conversation. "I've been thinking about what you said. I want to let you know that you are a complete and total idiot for doing that shit and you deserve to go to court for it, but I'm not too mad at you".
"Your not mad?" he raised his eyebrows in surprise, obviously having prepared himself for an explosive reaction.
"More than anything else I feel like I'm getting in between you and Kim".
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I think you are still in love with her, or some feelings are still there at very least".
"In love with Kim?" I slowly nodded and downed more wine. "Fuck no I ain't in love with Kim!" he loudly denied.
"Then why are you getting involved in her life like that? You're jealous that she was kissing someone else!" I matched his volume.
"No I fucking wasn't! I was angry because she was being a hypocrite".
"But you shouldn't have gone to follow her in the first place!" I argued to which he couldn't find a reply. I walked around the counter to where he was and sat on the bar stool. I finished off the last of the wine, which was helping with this confrontation tremendously. He stared down at me intently waiting for me to continue "I just think we jumped in too fast" he opened his mouth to interject but I continued. "You clearly aren't ready to be in a relationship and I don't blame you".
"Says who". He was growing agitated.
"Me".
"I want you Cassie for godsake, I don't want Kim" he said in an exasperated tone.
"That's not always apparent though is it? All of this is just way too intense".
"How? We never argue, we're always joking around". He shook his head as he disagreed with what I was saying.
"Not because of that. Look at it this way, usually you don't spend everyday of your new relationship together! We've only been dating for about four months but I'm already feeling like I'm mucking up your family, I can't imagine what your little girls think. It's just too much right now" my head felt muddled as I rushed to get everything I was thinking out.
"So what, you wanna break up?" he said in a way I couldn't quite understand, equal parts sad and angry.
"No no no. I just need to go back to New York so we can both have some time to think about what we want. A little time apart".
He stared at me with a contemplative look on his face. "Okay okay. You're right".
"We're not breaking up, we just need some personal space" I reminded him as I reached up and took off his visor cap, running my fingers through his hair.
"I know" He squeezed my thigh reassuring me that he understood what I said.
I decided to change the course of the conversation, wanting to make the most of our last night together "You were amazing tonight".
He gave me a smile in appreciation "The crowd was wild, always makes for a good show" he positioned himself in between my legs his hands still resting on my thighs. I looked into his eyes and noticed for the most part that they were normal and no longer dilated. The effects of the drugs had mostly worn off which comforted me. Letting me know that our conversation had been honest.
"You know, it actually turns me on seeing you up there" I dragged my finger up his chest.
"Yeah?" he drew small circles on my thighs with his thumbs as he looked at me with a lustful gaze.
"Mhmm, especially when you did Forgot about Dre. Something about seeing you show up Dre on his on track was very...alluring" I played with the draw string on his sweats, purposely 'accidentally' grazing my fingers across him.
"Why don't you show me how much it turned you on?" he cocked an eyebrow at me. He made me gasp in surprise as he suddenly picked me up from the bar stool and sat me on top of the counter top. I guess hooking up one time before we said our temporary goodbyes wouldn't hurt. But knowing us, it wouldn't be one time.
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"Home sweet home" I called out in a sing songy voice as me and Jordan collapsed through the door of our apartment, holding all my luggage.
"Cassie I missed you so much, I was so bored without you here" Jordan mushily confessed as we dumped the bags onto my bedroom floor.
"I missed you too Jords. Sometimes I wanted nothing more than to vege out on the couch and watch crappy television with you". She hummed in agreement as she plopped down onto my bed. "Hey let's go get our nails done! Mine look nasty and we can have a nice catch up while we're at it. My treat" I offered.
"Well I can't turn down a free manicure can I? Let's go before it shuts".
We made our way down to our favorite nail salon, only a five minute walk from our apartment and were warmly greeted by the owners. We sat ourselves down in the chairs beside each other whilst the nail technicians got to work. As always I went with a pinky-nude and Jordan went with a bright red, both of us going for acrylic.
I opened up the conversation "How are you and Mike going?"
A huge smile crept on her face and she blushed profusely as she looked at me "He told me he loved me".
"No shit!" I excitedly reacted too loudly, earning a few stares and giggles from other customers. "Did you say it back?" to which she quickly nodded. "Jordan I am so happy for you" I gushed. I must admit I felt a bit accomplished since I had played match maker.
"He is so good to me. I've never felt so special in a relationship before".
"Look at you, you can't wipe that smile from your face can you?" I grinned back, the happiness of my best friend rubbing off onto me.
"He practically spent every night at our apartment while you were gone".
"Ooh get it girl" I teased to which my nail technician laughed at and shared a knowing smile.
"And you?"
"Me, what?"
"Marshall?" Much to Jordan's amusement at that exact moment 'The Real Slim Shady' began to play over the radio, faintly in the background. "Speak of the bloody devil" she giggled.
"Shh. Keep it on the down low" I hushed.
"You still not public?"
"Nope. And I don't want to be, no thank you" she gave me a puzzled look. "Oh come on, just imagine the headlines. 'Tour manager shacks up with Eminem' " I whispered his name. "Doesn't look too good does it?"
"I guess not" she admitted.
"Besides, that would put so much pressure and attention onto us. I would hate it. Right now only friends and family know about us and it's great. Totally stress free". I nodded in confirmation to the nail technician when she asked me if the nails were the correct shape and length.
"So it's going good then?" Jordan smiled at me. The same smile I'd given her when she was talking about Mike.
I paused "Yes and no. We get along so well and it's just...easy. I don't have to think about what I'm saying or doing all the time, he doesn't judge me at all".
"But?"
"Baby Momma drama".
"Oh no. What happened?" I quickly debriefed her on all the drama including the less than pleasant run in with Kim that happened in front of his kids, and finally the altercation and impending court date. "You need to set some boundaries" she stated matter of factly after hearing it all.
"In what way?"
"Tell him what you expect and what you don't expect. Especially when it comes to Kim. That way he knows what's unacceptable".
"So what, tell him he can't see Kim like that? That it shouldn't be getting too personal between them?"
"Exactly. And talk to him about that gun situation, I know how you must feel about that" she understandingly mentioned, referring to my families history with gun violence.
"That's another thing, I want to talk to him in person but I can't. I don't even know when we are going to next see each other, it could be weeks for all I know. Distance is really going to suck".
"Yeah it will" she agreed quietly while she attempted to stifle a smile.
"Why are you smiling?"
"I'm not" she denied whilst still slightly smiling. Something was definitely up but I could't quite put my finger on it.
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Author's note: Hi guys! Here's another chapter for you all, hope you enjoy! I can not BELIEVE I'm nearly at 2K reads! That's absolutely nuts to me and I just want to say thank you to everyone that has read, voted or commented so far! Also I just wanted to mention, who saw Lil Kim's hip hop tribute? I know it was a while ago but I can't get over it haha. Teyana killed it! Also please please message me and tell me what you want to see in this fanfic! I would love to incorporate your suggestions into the story. Thanks guys, enjoy :)