When I awake the following day it's Saturday.I toss my blanket off and throw my feet onto the floor.I glance at my clock hanging on the wall and it read 12:45 p.m .
Shit.
Vanessa was supposed to be coming over at one o ' clock so we could get ready for Marshawn's 21st birthday party.We met him through another friend of ours.He was about 6'2,brown skin with a sleeve of biblical verses on each arm.He always had a real down to earth kind of attitude,he was passionate.As far as I knew Vanessa's had a thing for him since earlier this year.
My phone rings.Immediately knowing it's Vanessa I quickly grab a towel and my razor off the dresser and make a dash to the bathroom and slam the door shut behind me.With the immediate silence I realize I'm home alone.I turn on the shower extra warm and step under the spray.About two minutes later I hear a loud knock on the door.
"Oh sure , run and jump in the shower the second I call,you so disrespectful!" Vanessa yells on the other side of the door.
"Shut up Nigga!" I yelled.I hear her shuffle a brief mumble of an insult.She then kicked the door in and I pulled the shower door open and peeped my head out .
"Damn! I left the door unlocked anyways."I said.She wiped the imaginary sweat from her forehead.
"You see what you made me do."she claims.I just shake my head and close the shower door and continue lathering up.
"Hey Taren ,I hear Shawns party is gon' go up."
"I'd imagine so,everyone knows him." I say.
"I know ,like usually I don't go for gang bangers but- ."
We say in unison,"He just so fineeee!" We laugh briefly.
I turn the water off and grab a towel and wrap myself in it.
"What are you gonna wear?" she asks as she follows me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.She flops onto my bed as I dig around through my closet.
"I don't know yet,maybe I'll throw on a pair of jeans and-"I start to say ,when she throws a pillow at my face.
"Bitch your a fool,you ain't wearin ' no damn jeans.You gonna be a baddie." she says fluffing my hair.
"If you say so." I say.She then grabs my hand and pushes me into my office chair,so she can work her magic.
Later that evening
We were climbing into her Red VW Toureg heading to Lakewood,where Shawns party would be held.She was blasting Wu-Tang Forever singing as I silently gazed out the window.Her car smelled of Bath and Body Works.
When we finally get off the 710 freeway she finally glances my way.
"What's wrong?"she asks.
"Just thinking,you look good."I say.Looking her over.She's wearing a pair of bleached high waist shorts a cream colored blouse and some cream Steve Madden's with a matching Michael Kors clutch.
"Oh thank you darling." she says in a fake British accent."You look good too."she says ,looking me over then biting her bottom lip.
"You fool!" I say slapping her thigh.
I'm wearing A fitted black pants suit, the sides are cut open and sheer and so is the back.A double ring on my fingers and a nice pair of Guess pumps.My hair curled to perfection.She wore a high bun,with a nice pair of Tiffany pearls around her neck .We looked stunning.
As we pulled up to the club , I couldn't help but notice a few things.There was no parking anywhere,cars lined the streets. There were guys standing out in front of the building;dressed in cargoes and crew necks.There was a line stretched all the way around the block.Girls in their leggings, with weaves that looked stiffer than a flag pole.Guys with their fake Versace belts and Nikes.I shook my head to myself.The building itself was almost entirely made of glass,from the outside you could see the neon and black lights shining,and the few people inside who managed to get through the security.
"You see a spot?" Vanessa asks.I look back and forth in front & behind me as I see someone pulling out just in front of us.
"There."I say.She waits until the Jeep pulls away and parks in the space.Although we managed to get a parking spot,we were a block away from the club.
I decide to leave my purse in the car,she does the same.As long as I could remember my mother always told me never go into a place like that with anything you can put down or lose.Each and every time I went to a party I followed that rule.
Vanessa and I interlock our arms as we walk back to the club.
We reach the door in little to no time and Vanessa pulls our invites from her pocket.The security lets us in,but not before watching our asses as we walk inside.As we walk in I can hear YG's "My Nigga" playing through the large speakers on stage.The club is two stories,it has three dance floors and two bars.Acrobatic strippers hang from the ceiling and every female in the club was twerking something.The crowd was decent,I recognized a few faces from school,a few from Facebook and Instagram and then some .Vanessa is staring in one direction for far too long.
"What is it? What do you see?"I lean in her ear and say.
"Right there."she points.I look in the direction she points in and I see Marshawn stepping onto the stage.
He was wearing all white pair of True Religions some Ray Bands,a Gucci belt and a pair of Christian Louboutins on his feet,diamond studs in his ears and his teeth were whiter than usual.His taper was on point too,even though he wasn't my type he looked fine as hell .Just as every girl in the room Vanessa couldn't keep her eyes off him.I chuckled to myself.Marshawn was always a nice dresser.He was a suit and tie kind of guy.Regardless of the fact that he was slanging everyday.
"Shut up hoe! He's just too cute that's all."She whines.Even though Marshawn was the cutest dark skin I'd seen in a while,something about him just didn't interest me on that level.He had a nice personality,but the fact that he was into the drug game didn't appease me.Vanessa didn't seem to mind though,she though it made him more attractive.
Vanessa pulls us toward a booth where a few of our friends are sitting.
Mandy,Chei,and Deanna.I wasn't as close to them as I was with Vanessa,but nonetheless we were still the best of friends.Mandy is Asian and black,she has curly black hair with hazel eyes and the biggest hits you'll see on a girl her size,she's an artist.Tattoos cover her entire back.Chei is Jamaican,a tomboy,chocolate skin,full lips and she has a streak of green in her naturally wavy hair.I met her growing up and we've been inseparable since.Last but not least is Deanna.She's Caucasian,a brunette ,grey eyes,tall and thin.She slightly resembles Ellie Goulding.I met her during a football game freshman year.Funny thing is we fought three times before we became friends.Shortly after she attempted to confront be for stealing her boyfriend at the time;I beat her ass so badly it ended with her getting a black eye and making the Comedy section on Vine.I forgave her a few months later,we put aside our differences and we've developed a close relationship.Vanessa slides into the booth next to Chei and I chat happily with Mandy.
The DJ had the crowd bumping and grinding to a slow jam.When he switches to Sean Kingston's "Beat It"
Females flood the North and West Dance floors,dancing like it would be their last time.
"Let's go fuck some shit up?" Vanessa yells.Mandy and Deanna shake their head but me Chei and Vanessa slide from the booth through the crowd to the North dance floor.
A guy quickly grabs Chei and bends her over and starts stroking her back rhythmically to the beat of the song.Vanessa and I sway back and forth and simply nod our heads in approval.
"Excuse me Nessa."Someone says , she and I turn around to see Marshawn standing there.I immediately smile and look at Vanessa.
"What can I do for you?"She says.He smiles widely at her.
"Lemme dance with you real quick."he says.She looks to me for approval.I smile at them both.
"Go ahead,you know where I'll be."I say.
He grabs her hand and they start dancing.
"Another Round" comes on and I see Vanessa grinding against Marshawn,he sways slowly behind her,holding her waist and they move together in sync.I can tell she's in heaven right now.
I glance around at everyone,slow dancing around me as I stand right in the middle of the floor.Since slow songs aren't really my expertise I begin to walk back towards the table where Mandy and Deanna are sitting.
While pushing my way through the crowd a guy wearing a grey button down and True Religions blocks my path.
"Uh-mm pardon me?" I say looking up at him.He stands about 6'2.
"Your really beautiful,I ain't mean to stop you, I just didn't know how to get your attention,you feel me?" he says.I chuckle.
"You could've simply said Hey."I respond.
He smiles and licks his bottom lip.
"Well ,hey."he says.
"Hey to you to."
"What's your name beautiful?" he asks,leaning down towards my ear so I can hear him over the loud music.
"Taren."
"I'm Damion."He says.The song changes again now Silk "Meeting in My Bedroom" is playing.
"You wanna dance?"he asks.I glance around the dance floor again and I spot Chei dancing with another guy and Vanessa is nowhere to be seen.
"Well, slow songs aren't really my thing but I'll dance with you." I say taking his hand and leading him to a clearing among st all the people.
We begin dancing,my back to his chest and I begin to rock slowly to the rhythm of the song and he does the same.His large hands are over my abdomen and he caresses me slow.We dance to three more songs before a faster song comes on and I turn to face him.
"Your a good dancer." I say.
"I know I am, you need a little practice though."He says and laughs.
I nudge him with my elbow.
"I told you slow songs weren't my thing,give me a break."
"It's no biggie,I still enjoyed it.I got to dance with one of the cutest girls here."He says.I smile at him,"just as the music is cut off.
"Aye! what's the deal."someone shouts.
"Yeah man! Kill the DJ my nigga!" another guy screams.
The DJ calmly takes the Mic and starts to talk.
"I didn't mean to kill y'all turn up, but we gotta special birthday surprise for Shawn."He shouts.The crowd begins screaming and cheering.A full minute goes by
No Marshawn.One of his friends takes the Mic from the DJ.
"AYE,where my nigga at?" he asks with a frustrated look on his face.
Everyone looks around the room.He's nowhere to be found.So the DJ takes the Mic back.
"Alright y'all, since we can't find him, I'll play some more tracks."the dj says.
The music starts playing again and Damion taps my shoulder.
"You have a number or something?"he asks.I'm suddenly uninterested in Damion and more into finding Vanessa and Marshawn something didn't seem right.
"Hold that thought ."I say.
I squeeze by a few dancing girls and I move up the spiral glass staircase.
I look around the second floor restroom and I see no sign of her.I then have to pee.
"Shit."I mutter to myself.I glance around looking for the restroom,I see a hall way leading away somewhere.So I wiggle my way through the endless amount of people until I'm walking down the hall,two guys are standing at the end against a wall smoking a blunt.
I hold my breath & open the door leading to another hallway.
I hear giggling, coming from the end of the hallway,there's a bit of light as if from a lamp.I debate on going down there, seen plenty of movies and I already knew what to expect.I rush into the restroom,quickly take care of business and wash my hands in three minutes.
As I walk out of the restroom two more girls go in.I stand outside the door and pull out my iPhone.
1 missed call.
I glance at the contact and quickly delete it."Freddy" it read.I went out with that guy one time and all of a sudden he claimed we were gonna get married and have kids.I haven't spoken to him since.
Realizing I'd been standing there too long,I reluctantly decided to walk down the hall.My heels click loudly as I make my way down the hall.As I get closer to the faint light I can make out a mans voice.There was a large silver door,slightly ajar.
"You have such nice hair,your shit it so long and thick."he said.I very hesitantly peered around the corner.It was Marshawn,he was running his hands through Vanessa's hair.So thats where they'd been all that time.I leaned in a little further and I could make out the rom.
An all black leather couch,a disco ball hanging from the ceiling,a stripper pole and a balcony with a sliding door.Marshawn and Vanessa sat on the couch,her head resting in his lap.
"Shawn why do you try and act all hard and shit,but when your alone your such a sweetheart?"she asks while toying with the ring on his middle finger.
"Nessa,there's more to it,and if you'd like to find out you'll have to get to know me on a deeper level."He says stroking her cheek.She sits up and looks into his eyes.
"Sing for me?" she asks.
"Girl,That was a one time thing,you know damn well I can't sing."he says stroking her hair.
"Please."she says poking her lip out.
"Fine."he starts humming a beat I don't recognize and begins to sing.
Girl I have told you, I think that your special
Like rhythm and riddles, I explore you
Your hips turn to rivers, you see me swim in them
My waves will make you speak, in tongues like Spanish
You listen to Coldplay and Dr. Dre
Turn heads in sweatpants and throwback j's
Seems that your perfect in every way
But the only other question
Is just how good
How good is your love, baby
How good is your love?
How good is your love, baby
How good is your love (in the meantime)
I like that you listen and grab my attention
With lips made for kissing I aim right for them
Maybe you're land and I'm out to sea
And all I want to do is catch up to your beach
Fucks with the way that you say my name
Love how you roll up the perfect J
Seems like your better than all the rest
But the only thing I'm thinking
Is just how good
How good is your love, baby
How good is your love?
How good is your love, baby
How good is your love
Meantime, I guess well get to know each other
Meantime, I guess we'll cross the bridge together
Meantime, Meantime, Meantime, Meantime, Meantime
"Je ferai tout ce qu'il faut."she says.French most likely.
"Par tu malade faites rien."he responds in return.I had no idea his black ass spoke french.He could hardly maintain a C average in class.I guess I was wrong.
"Embrasse-moi."she whispers.That one I recognize as Kiss me.
He pulls her atop of him and kisses her deeply.She wraps her arms around his neck and his hands slide up and cup her ass.I smile to myself,she's wanted this for so long.I get ready to walk away from the door when I hear a sudden commotion downstairs,followed by loud popping sounds.
Someones shooting downstairs.
My first instinct is to run,but I realize whatever is happening downstairs I want no part of.In the midst of my panic I bump the door and it swings open swiftly.Vanessa immediately pulls away from Marshawn just as I shut the door and lock it behind me.
"Taren what are you-" she starts to ask but I cut her off
and turn to Marshawn.
"Marshawn,somebody is shooting downstairs, I heard gunshots and-"I start to explain.
"Somebody tryna shoot up my shit?"he asks.I nod and look at him.
"Shhh!" Vanessa whispers.He and I go silent as we listen to the countless shots being fired over the music downstairs.Even though we're on the second floor,the screams are clear.
"Oh my god."she whispers.
"Look, y'all gotta get out of here."he says pulling a gun from his waistband.
"Go where?!"we say in unison.I know this fool didn't think we were going out there with gunshots being fired.
"Look y'all can go off the balcony,just climb down the fire escape and get out of here,I don't know whats going on but-" he stops mid sentence when there's a sudden knock on the door.Marshawn makes his way over to the door with his gun in hand,he then looks out of the peep hole I didn't notice was there.He then unlocks the door and lets a guy in.
"Zay what's going on?" he asks the man.
"Some niggas from East Coast heard you were having a party,Niggas decided to come shoot it up cus they think we killed some niggas from DMK."he says breathing heavily.
"How you know?"Marshawn asks.
"I was by the bar when I seen them niggas get up on the stage,firing shots in the air saying they were from DMK getting revenge.It was about ten of em,standing up there.Saying they was looking for you."he says.
"We gonna handle them just watch, they not getting revenge on nobody,especially not on my birthday."Marshawn says.
The gun shots stop briefly and the noise begins to get louder.
We hear heavy footsteps down the hall.
"Y'all gotta go."Marshawn says.
"But Shawn we can't-"Vanessa begins to say.But Marshawn doesn't stop to listen,instead he walks over and yanks the sliding door open.
"Hurry up!" he yells.I quickly grab Vanessa's arm and tug her toward the balcony.I look over my shoulder to see Marshawns friend Zay pulling a gun from his waistband and pulling a ski mask over his forhead.
Vanessa is the first to climb down the fire escape and I'm directly behind her.
The second our feet hit the ground we hop the fence.Heels and all,she boosts me over and I pull her over next and we make our way to her truck.It's deserted outside, not a soul in sight.All the cars that lined the streets when we arrived were still there.I hoped those people made it out safely.
Neither of us look back,when we finally reach the truck we get in and she starts it up.
We catch our breath for just a second when there a loud knock on my window without thinking much I grab my pepper spray key chain off the floor,yank the door open and jam the button down pointed at the person .He falls instantly,and Vanessa and I both scream.
"Oh my god!Drive what are you waiting for?"I ask.
She puts the truck in reverse,pulls out of the spot and we speed away.
Looking through the rear view mirror at the man rolling around on the ground.
I see he has no shoes on.
I assume it was a homeless man.
Vanessa's foot has been glued to the petal until we hit the freeway.
"Man that was a homeless guy."
"Who?"she asks not looking my way.
"The man I sprayed, he was a bum."I say.
She bursts into laughter.
"Wow Taren."she laughs harder.
For a second I laugh too.Until I think about what possibly could've happened to Marshawn and Zay.
It was no secret that Marshawn dealt drugs,he'd been doing it since he was fifteen.It started off with just a little weed here and there but eventually evolved into Cocaine,meth and Xstasy pills.
Plenty of people in Cali couldn't stand him.
Not because of him trapping but because his Cousin Q though locked up was still a powerful coke dealer in ATl.
He'd been pushing in Cali back in the 90's and eventually Marshawn started to gain popularity,his cousin moved to the South and hasn't stepped foot in LA since.They're cool though from what I heard.
Half an hour later we were pulling up to my house.
"Taren,I'm scared."She said as she turned down the radio.
"Vanessa you shouldn't worry,Marshawn can handle his own."I said,attempting to sound sincere.
"Those guys wanted to kill him though."She sighs as she says it.I can tell it's bothering her.
"Vanessa,all we can do is hope it turns out ok,call him tomorrow and see if he's ok?"I say as I grab my bag from the floor and unbuckle my seat belt.
"Alright,I will,let me know if you need anything?"She says as she starts the truck.
"I will,you too."I say as I climb out and make my way up to the gate,open it and walk up to the door.I glance back once more and wave once I get the door unlocked.
Phew I say to myself removing my heels and making my way up to my room.
I get in my room and silently shut my door.If my mother wasn't at her boyfriends house,she be awakened by my moving about.I silently stripped off my dress and threw on a pair of boy shorts and a light blue tank,grab the tv remote and surf my dvr for something to watch.
I hear my phone buzzing and I grab it.
It's a call from an unknown number,hesitantly I answer it.
"Hello?"I say.
"Taren,what are you doing?"he says.I instantly recognize the voice as Brendan,The UK guy I went with a few nights ago.
"Just got in I'm watching Love and Hip Hop,why?"I say,pulling the phone from my ear glancing at the time.It reads 3:20 am.
"Come spend the night?"he asked.
"Tonight?Brendan,I'd love to but-"I start to say but I'm interrupted by him.
"Good,I just left the gas station,I'll be there in 5 minutes."He hangs up then.
"Wait hello?"I then realize he hung up.
Jumping up from my bed,I grab my Nike sweats up from the floor and hop into them.I don't bother changing my top.I grab my Coach knapsack from the coat hanger and whirl around my room like a tornado putting an overnight bag together.
Glancing briefly in the mirror stepping in my Nikes,I'm out the door once again.
As I step onto the porch I see his silver Audi double parked in front of my house.
While approaching it,I quickly text Vanessa letting her know where I was going,I received an mEssage a few seconds later with a ";-)"
I simply shook my head and climbed into the passenger side of the Audi.
As he sped down the street,he glanced over at me as we came to a stop sign.
"You alright?You didn't enjoy your night out?"he asked.His grey eyes catching the slight Ray of light from the street lights above.
"It was cool,until they started to shoot shut up."I said bitterly as I rested my arms on the middle console as we cruised down Rodeo.
"That's why I don't fuck with parties like that,Niggas always gotta fuck some shit up.I'm sorry boo."He said shaking his head.
"No need it."I say.
The next few minutes we ride in silence.He merges onto a freeway and covers my hand with his as he speeds up,the engine purring softly.
"Your tense."He says.
"I know,just when Vanessa and I left we climbed off the balcony,there wasn't no cops or anything.We just slipped out while the high as was tryna bust the door down."
"Well,your safe with me,ain't nothing gonna happen to you while your with me.I promise."He says.
Forty-Five Minutes Later
We're sitting on an L shaped couch,by the fireplace of his two story seaside apartment.
Talking,laughing just enjoying each others company.He poured me a glass of my favorite Minute Maid which is Cherry Limeade.Since I don't drink he was more than happy to oblige.
"Your turn to share a fact about yourself?"I say,smiling at him over my glass and looking up at the crystal chandelier that hung just over our heads.Assuming he had a White,silver and Black theme going;because those seemed to be the only colors I've seen so far.
He smiles showing off his freshly whiteness teeth and extensive canines.
"When I met you,I just couldn't get this thought out of my head."He said tracing my jaw line with his fingers.
"Thought of what?"I ask as he takes my glass and his and sit them of the glass coffee table.
"This."He cups my face in his hands and leans in closer,or lips just centimeters apart.We both lean in just a little more and they just barely brush against each other.His lips are so soft.
He then presses his lips to mine and his hands slowly drop from my face.My lips part just a bit and his tongue just barely enters my mouth,he abruptly pulls away leaving me breathless.
"My bad Taren,I ain't mean to kiss you like that."He moves away from me,putting a few inches between him and I.
I frown,and stand up from the couch.Untieing the drawstring to my sweat pants I step out of them and toss them aside.I then sit back down,watch as he bites his lip and I cross my legs.
"Did you really not mean to kiss me?"I ask moving closer to him.
"Taren,why you acting like that it was just a little accident."I stare down at his jeans.
"Was that an accident to ?"I ask,referring to the boner that was starting to rise in his pants.
I reach out to touch it when he suddenly jumps away,he laughs and pulls his slightly sagging pants up to his waist.
"Let's go lay down,I'm a little sleepy." He says pulling me to my feet.
"But I don't want to sleep I wanna-" I start to say.I'm caught off guard when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and starts walking up the spiral staircase.
"Nigga put me down!"I yell as he enters the master bedroom and throws me onto his plush duvet.There's one walls that's all Windows, a clear view of the beach,though it's dark I can somewhat see it down below.He takes off his V-Neck and jeans and climbs on the bed next to me.I shut my eyes and lay unmoving.He lays next to me,my back facing him.
He doesn't touch me,but I lay there long enough for him to think I'm asleep.
I'm suddenly filled with energy.
I pounce on top of him,grabbing his arms and placing my knees over them.
"Was it really an accident?huh?"I yell.He struggles for a second and then flips me onto my back and pins my arms above my head.
"Shut-."I say,he smiles and kisses me again.
"Was that an accident?" He asks.I shake my head violently.
"Hell no!"I yell,thrashing around trying to get out of his grip.
He's not budging.
"Say sorry."He says.
"Never,I apologize for nothing."I say with attitude.
"You will,just wait."He says.Without warning he hovers over my ear and delicately sticks his tongue inside it,then traces it with his tongue.
"God Brendan no."I wiggle some more.
"Apologize."He whispers before catching the lobe between his teeth.
"Nope,I'd rather die."I say.He mouth moves down to my neck,he trails circle around one spot.The skin is sensitive.He starts following the trail with kisses before biting and sucking in one spot.I bite my lip in the dark.I never knew until now,just how good it felt.
"Apologize Taren."He says again.
"I'm good."I say confidently.A little quickie isn't gonna make me apologize.He must be stupid.
"Alright,I gotchu."He flips me onto my stomach.
"What are you doing?"I ask.I'm really confused now.
"Since you don't wanna apologize Imma show you somethin'you had a chance."Before I can object he handcuffs my wrists to the bed.
I didn't notice him reaching for any handcuffs,but in the midst of me trying to figure it out he'd handcuffed my other wrist.
"Brendan,what the fuck are you doing?"I ask.
"It's ok Taren,I'm not gonna hurt you or nothing,your gonna enjoy it.If at any point you don't I'll included you ok? He asks,while turning on the light dimmer just above the head board of the bed.The room is now faintly lit and he goes and spreads my legs,all the while making sure he slid off my boy shorts in the process.
I swallowed deeply.All I'm wearing in my tank top and Black lace G string.
"Damn."He says to himself. As his hands gently caress my calves.
"I would've never thought."I giggle.Surprisingly I was calm,not a tad bit nervous as to what he may do.
He then went to his nightstand drawer I watched as he pulled out a blindfold.
"Oh , your for real about this aren't you?"I say as he approaches me.I raise my head slightly so he can tie it over my eyes.
"Believe it or not,I've never done this before,But when I saw you that day I just knew ,you'd who I would do it with."I stay silent.
I hear the nightstand drawer close again. Only this time I can't see he's pulled out.
At that moment I actually became a bit nervous.
"Baby, your shaking."He says.
"Am I really?"I ask sarcastically.
"And I haven't even done anything yet."I brace myself for what's to come.
Twenty minutes later.
I lay on the bed attempting to catch my breath.
Finally untied me,and he's in the bathroom running me a bath.
"Taren,your bath is ready,bring your ass."he yells.
Reluctantly I get up and make my way to the bathroom,and he helps me into the tub.
As he begins lathering my legs he begins humming a "Woman's Worth" ,by Maxwell .
I lay my head back and embrace the feelings.
Who knows how long it will last.
Vanessa
Laying back against feathered pillows,the walls are pink and they don't belong to me.
I've been seeing Chastity off and on for three years now.
Her arm is wrapped around my naked frame,and even with the constant love making we shared a few hours before. My insomnia wouldn't leave my side.
I kept thinking about Marshawn.
I hoped he was ok.
Reaching under my pillow,I grab my iPhone and check the time .
It's a little past four am.but I can't resist texting him.
"Hey,uh just thinking about you,hope your doing well"
A second passes before I hit the send button.
I know he won't be awake so I put the phone back under my pillow and snuggle against Chasity.
About five minutes later,my phone begins to buzz,snatching it from under my pillow I look to see Marshawn calling.Careful not to wake her,I climb out of bed and go into the dining area to answer it.
"Hello."I say.
"Wass good Nessa?"he said,sounding fully awake.
"I was worried about you,but I can see your Alright,I didn't mean to text so early."
"It's straight,I was just sitting in the park."
"Nigga, at 4am ,what the hell you doing in a park?"
"I come here and post up to think,I be having a lot on my mind." he says.
"Wanna talk about it?" I say curiously.
"Nah,it ain't that easy,one day I might though,when you ready." he says looking away.
"I'm always ready."I say, he laughs.
"Not for this though."
"We'll see about that."I mumble.
"I heard that, you ain't slick." he says hitting my shoulder.
"Neither are you,what park you at anyway?" I ask,slipping my feet into Charity 's looking around for my keys.
"Griffith? Why?"he asks.
I hang up and walk out the door,unable to find my keys,I grab Chasity's Altima keys and I'm hopping on the freeway .
When I arrive,It doesn't take long to find Marshawn.
He's wearing an all black Jordan sweatsuit with a pair of Bred 11's.
He hears me approach and slides over on the bench.
I sit next to him and he doesn't look my way.
"Nessa,why you up her man?" he asks sounding annoyed.
"Because.."I look down at my faded Hollister sweats and begin nervously picking at the threads.
"Cus what?" he asks.
"Because I just wanted to get some air." I say nervously
He looks at me and begins laughing.
"You know Damn well you didn't want no air."I giggle and push my bangs from my face.
"You don't know what I want." I say.
"Won't be hard to guess." he says.
"So anyway,why are you up here?It's cold as shit." I ask.
"Didn't nobody tell you to come."
"Look ,I'm already here,you constantly reminding me won't change thing." I say.
"I feel you."
"So what's on your mind?" I ask .
We spend the next three hours talking.He tells me how his mom got shot a year and a half ago.She was trying to get home from work when she was shot crossing an intersection.No one found her killer,he'd been trying to hold his brother down,but his brother ended up getting 10 years for Armed robbery and assault.He told me about his mental and physical struggles and most importantly he opened up to me in a way I can't explain.
We'd sat so long they Sun rose and we began to see joggers.
He had his arm over my shoulder as he walked me to Chasity's Altima.
He promised to call me later that day and before I drove off he gave a light tap on the trunk and held his hand up at me almost making me crash into a trash can.
All the way back to Chasity's apartment I couldn't shake the grin that remained plastered across my face.
As I stepped inside I slid off the Uggs and made my way back to her bedroom.Stripping out of my sweats,I climbed into bed next to her with my back facing away from her.About a minute later I felt her trailing her hand across my back.
"Babe,you went somewhere?"
"Oh,yeah just to take Taren some Ginger Ale,she wasn't feeling good."
"Hopefully she's okay?"
"She's alright."I said pulling the blanket up to my neck.
I hated lying to Chasity.But if I told her I'd been with Marshawn she'd have cried,thrown a tantrum and I didn't feel like hearing it.She and I broke up for that very reason.She acted like I belonged to her,I wasn't allowed to even talk to a guy.
She was a full fledged lesbian.While I had love for females just as much as she,I loved me a Nigga every now and then.That was just a spot a female alone could never fill.
Hearing her soft snoring I relaxed and soon fell into a soft sleep as well.
Hours later I was awakened by my hair being parted down the middle.My eyes quickly focused on Chasity wearing her big ass bifocal looking glasses trying to give me two Indian style braids.
She looks at me, and I look back.
"Bout ' time you woke up."she says starting one of the braids.My head is propped up on one of her cheetah print pillows.
"I had a long night."
"You act like you was busting missions."
"I did man,like you don't know." I said.
"Mhmm."she said.For the next few minutes we sat in silence as she braided my hair.
When she has done, she got up and went into the kitchen.
Glancing to make sure she was gone, I went in her nightstand drawer.
Sure enough she hid my phone in there.I couldn't stand when she did that.
Checking, I didn't have many messages.
One from Taren, telling me Good Morning.
I quickly responded.
Getting ready to put the phone away.
I went on Twitter.Right after one scroll I saw a few posts Marshawn made.
@TheRealShawn:I ain't never been one to trust,things changed I guess.
@TheRealShawn:#oomf a real one,making niggas feel some typa way.
@TheRealShawn:Gonna go clear my head.
He'd made them all right after we chilled at the park.I heard footsteps so I quickly put the phone back.
"Vanessa, I need to clean up."
"Clean what?"
"This house, it's a hot ass mess."
"Well I'll take a quick nap then help you."
"You better not! You need to help me."I had already snuggled beneath the covers.
2 hours later.
I'd taken a power nap and helped Chasity clean a bit.Of course I didn't leave without pulling out her purple strap and giving her a quickie.I could get my fix later.I put her to sleep and left her a note on her white board.
I am so confused.I didn't know what I wanted.
Chasity equaled security, she'd always be there.
Marshawn was something new, something I hadn't had in a while.
I sigh heavily as I pull into Tarens driveway.