My leg won't stop shaking under the table and it's starting to annoy Lorenzo.
"Linnea, will you calm down? It's fine. You know that we did a great job and it's better than anyone else's."
"But what if we didn't? What if we fail?"
"That doesn't make any sense, Linnea! Our project looks amazing and we'll get an A!" Lorenzo says, running a hand through his hair, exasperated. "And even if we don't we can always make it up!"
"See you have doubts! I can't afford to not get an A, Lorenzo. I have to keep my grade up," I whisper, terrified of the outcome.
"If you don't calm down, I'm not talking to you anymore," Lorenzo threatens.
I look at him and see he's serious. I slowly take in deep breaths and it works, for a while. Then the shaking comes back. He groans and turns away, sketching in his notebook.
It's the day we get our grades for our sculptures back and I am terrified. I made Lorenzo get here early so we wouldn't run the risk of being late and missing our grade. Right now there are two minutes until class starts and I am waiting for my fate. My brain starts running through these scenarios and my body starts shaking. My vision goes blurry and I try to take in air but it only comes in a thin stream. I panic and the air comes in even smaller streams. I can't breathe. My lungs aren't working. Why can't I breathe?
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and it's warm and comforting yet it gives me sparks at the same time. Lorenzo. I immediately calm down and my vision clears. Lorenzo is in front of me, and everyone is looking at us.
"What happened, Linnea?"
Mr. Claudlib looks at and tilts his head as a signal for whether or not I need to leave. I wave him off and look down. I don't need extra eyes. He continues, but glances in my direction ever so often. I can also feel Lorenzo staring at me, but I ignore him despite the fact that I can feel his curiosity and worry rolling off him.
...
After school, at my locker, Lorenzo asks the inevitable while I'm digging through my locker.
"What happened in art, Linnea?"
"I had a panic attack," I shrug.
"Yeah, I get that, but why?"
"I just needed a good grade."
"Will you stop lying to me? That's not the entire truth," Lorenzo says, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.
"I told you the truth," I say, my temper flaring.
"No, you didn't. You're hiding something. Why can't you look at me? If you're not lying then look at me."
I lose it.
"Fine! You want to know what happened? I can't afford to fail! Academics are all I have. Kol, he had sports and academics. He was the golden boy of the family. Always perfect, never straying from the rules, teachers' favorites. He was the one that was going to do great things in his life. Go on to play professional and get a full ride to college. Brietta was the free spirit. She was the creative, outgoing, carefree one. She would always be a favorite. Then there's me. All I have is academics. If I don't get good grades, what do I have to prove my worth?What's my purpose?"
Lorenzo pulls me into a hug.
"I'm so sorry, Linnea. I didn't know," he mumbles.
"Not your fault."
"You know, Linnea, you are so wonderful. Academics aren't all you have. You're caring, generous, funny, and you always put others before yourself. You're also so strong. You went through something that not many grown men go through in the span of their life. Not many people can cope with that loss, yet here you are, standing despite the pain. That is how wonderful you are."
Oh, Lorenzo. If only you knew the truth. I'm not strong. I'm going to kill myself at the end of the school year! Just like I did with my family.
...
At my house, after school, I hear a knock on the door. It can't be Lorenzo, he never knocks, and it can't be the delivery guys, I didn't order anything. Padding down the hall, I peer out of the peephole and see Kyliane. Interesting.
Opening the door, I say, "Hey, Kyliane. What can I do for you?"
" Umm...I was wondering if you'd want to take a walk with me," he says nervously.
I lift an eyebrow at his request.
"Totally platonic, of course!"
"I guess, we just have to be finish before five o'clock. I have to work. Let me change. It won't take long."
I run upstairs and change from my sweats to a black and white striped shirt, black jeans, black boots, then I pull a cream-colored trench coat over it. I look at myself in the mirror and smile. Lorenzo would be proud. I grab my wallet, keys, and my phone and stuff it into my black messenger bag on the way out of the house.
"So where do you want to walk?" I ask.
"I don't know, I'm still not familiar with the territory. Could you maybe give me a tour?" Kyliane asks.
"Sure, of course."
We walk through Yasfen which only takes like an hour. I take him to the center of the town and we sit on a bench in the grass that is the town's center.
"Why'd you want to walk?"
"Well, I needed to take my mind off of things that have been bothering me and this helped a lot. Thank you," Kyliane explains.
"You know, Kyliane, you can always talk to me. I'm here to lend a hand if you need it," I gently coax.
"It's just my dad and stepmom. They've been constantly fighting. I think he's cheating on her. I never liked her, but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. When I was younger, my mom died in a car accident and my dad never got over it. He loved her to death. He became an alcoholic and dealt with grief through women and alcohol. I may as well have lost him, too. I moved here with Lorenzo to escape our old town. Too many memories."
"I'm so sorry, Kyliane."
I lean over to hug him and his touch is warm but it doesn't spark like Lorenzo's touch. It's a friendly touch.
"So how do you know Lorenzo?" I ask to lighten the mood.
"Well, we went to school together. We met in kindergarten. I was getting picked on by the school bully, and when I ran off, I ran into Lorenzo. He helped me. Not only with the bully, but with my dad and my mom's death."
"That's Lorenzo for you, always helping others," I chuckle.
"Linnea, I really-"
Kyliane gets cut off by the sound of my watch going off. I set an alarm for when I had to go to work.
"I'm so sorry, Kyliane. Maybe we can finish this later?"
He just nods and after one last hug, I walk to the cafe, the wind biting at my face. The cafe is wonderfully warm, so I hang my coat on the rack near the door and walk to the back. Finding Myklyn in her office, I ask her what to do. She guides me to the back and tells me to unpack more boxes. Grand opening is right before thanksgiving, which is less than a month away. Myklyn still hasn't told me the name of the cafe, keeping it under lock and key.
I see Lorenzo unpacking boxes and say, "Hey, Lorenzo."
He doesn't say anything.
I approach him and nudge his shoulder, "What's up?"
"Why were you talking to Kyliane?" He asks murderously.
"He needed a friend?" I answer, confused.
Lorenzo's look of fury disappears, replaced with an embarrassed look. He gives me a sheepish smile and I look at him weirdly. I shake my head and hug him.
"What's this for? Not that I'm complaining," he asks.
"Thank for being such an amazing friend to Kyliane," I say.
"Well, he's my friend who needed help," he says, knowing what I'm talking about.
When we separate, I see Myklyn looking at us with a loving look on her face. I blush and duck my head.
Lorenzo puts a finger under my chin, lifts my head, and says, "Didn't I tell you to stop that?"
I look away and at Myklyn, ignoring him.
"Do you need us for anything else, Myklyn?" I ask.
Please need me for something. I can't stay with Lorenzo.
"Actually, I need to talk to Lorenzo," Myklyn says.
They leave and I'm left to unpack more boxes. Luckily, we only have three left, then we move on to organizing things.
When I finish unpacking, Lorenzo and Myklyn are done talking. She leaves us to organize while she makes some calls.
"Hey, you dressed nicely!" Lorenzo says, noticing my outfit.
"Yeah, despite what you may think, I can dress regularly. I just choose not to," I say, smirking.
We organize spices, equipment, and dishes in the kitchen, or rather I do. Lorenzo just gets in the way, putting the whisk with the spatulas when they have separate drawers. I'm actually surprised I haven't dropped anything so far. After I finish that thought, I drop a spatula. Great.
When I retrieve it, I hit my head on a shelf on the way up.
"Ow!" I yell, holding my head.
"What? What happened?"
Lorenzo comes over and inspects my head.
"It won't leave a bump, luckily. You need to be more careful, you could've seriously injured yourself."
"Geez, Lorenzo. Overreact much? It doesn't hurt that much anymore."
I wave him off and he goes back to messing up stuff but not before he glances back worriedly. I approach him and see what he exactly is doing. When he sees me coming, he puts up his phone and puts stuff in random places.
"Cayenne goes under the sink, yeah, just like we walk on our fingers and wear shorts on our head," I say sarcastically.
He smiles at me sheepishly and hands the spice to me. I make him hand me equipment as I pack it. This way it is faster and finish double what we would've finished had we worked alone.
At eight o'clock, when my shift is over, Myklyn sends me home with a bag of her delicious peppermint cookies and a stern warning to rest. As I'm walking home, I feel an uneasy sense that I'm being followed, but when I look back, there's no one there. I turn back around and am hit in the face, causing me to lose consciousness.
___
A/N
Pictured: the outfit Linnea wore on her walk and to work.
Who do you think knocked her out? Why?
Remember: constructive criticism is always appreciated!