Ryan had fallen asleep half way through their movie marathon with his head on Gabe's shoulder and soft noises coming out of his mouth.
Both boys had headed over to Ryan's place to gather his things. Gabe had kept look out while Ryan had climbed into the window. A duffel bag sat near the window.
For years, Ryan had kept a duffel bag right near his window, packed with clothes and toiletries he'd need just in case he needed to make a quick exit and sprint to Gabe's house. He'd grabbed it, thrown it down to Gabe who caught it with a 'fuck' and then jumped down himself.
Gabe didn't want to move him at all. His best friend looked so cute snuggled into him and fast asleep. It made his heart race in a way that scared him. Ryan mumbled in his sleep, something about tomato soup and Brendon and a spike of jealously shot through him. He frowned and looked down at Ryan who had a small little smile on his face. He pushed the hair off Ryan's face who began to stir, mumbling words as his eyes shot open, frantic and panicked. Eventually, he relaxed and smiled up at Gabe and Gabe's heart rate picked up its pace a little.
Ryan sat up, yawning, hair sticking up in wild directions and it was so fucking cute Gabe felt like he was about to combust.
'Hey. I fell asleep didn't I?' Ryan's voice was hoarse and croaky from sleep and Gabe's heart fluttered in his chest. He's so cute. He thought to himself.
'Yeah. You did.' Gabe stuttered out and Ryan sat up, grabbing his phone off the arm rest. He flicked through his notifications and smiled every so often. He turned to Gabe and smiled slightly, putting his phone back down and snuggling back into his best friend's hold. His head rested in Gabe's lap and Gabe played with his hair.
* * * *
Ryan was trying to get ready for school the next morning, his fingers quickly fastening up his buttons and his eyes were on Gabe. Gabe had his back to Ryan and he looked fine. To anyone that wasn't Ryan, Gabe seemed fine. But to Ryan, he knew Gabe was stressed or pissed.
Ryan finished buttoning up his shirt as Gabe turned around, his eyes landing on Ryan's fingers. Both boys just stared at each other for a while, looking each other up and down and the air was thick with tension. Ryan just couldn't place what type.
'I'm not going to school today. I can't be bothered.' Gabe mumbled as his mum poked her head in the door.
'Oh Ryan. Didn't realise you were over, honey! How's life?' She asked, leaning against the door and Ryan shrugged. One thing he kind of hated about Gabe's house was how nosey his mother was. He didn't like talking to her.
'It's all good for now.' He lied and looked at Gabe who gave him a thumbs up.
'How's the flute?' She asked, watching her son. 'Gabe get dressed. You're going to school.'
'Uh it's going good. I love it. We were given another piece actually.' He rambled and Gabe just smiled. He fucking loved Ryan.
'Ah that's good honey. Gabe never practises. Maybe you'll have to convince him?' Ms Saporta teased and left the room.
'And we both know that'll never fucking happen.' Gabe said, causing Ryan to let out a giggle.
'One thing I can't figure out is how you're still so good. Like, it took me years to get my notes to flow properly but you can look at a piece of music and pretty much play it flawless.' Ryan pouted and Gabe pretended that a tear rolled down his cheek.
'Maybe I'm just talented.' He said, his voice laced with cockiness.
'Uh huh. Sure.' Ryan rolled his eyes and let the tension fall over them. It kind of choked Ryan.
'So Ryan....' Gabe walked over to Ryan and placed his hands around Ryan's waist. 'You wanna stay home and have fun?' Gabe purred and Ryan tensed, his spine going rigid and Gabe stepped away, knowing that was his cue to back the fuck off or Ryan would either cry or burst into a ball of anger.
'You, can do whatever the fuck you want, Gabe. I'm going to school. Call Vicky. I'm going to hang out with Brendon.' Ryan stuttered and grabbed his school bag. He waved to Gabe (kind of) and just left, not looking at Gabe again. If he did, he'd burst into tears. Or destroy the place. It irked him so badly that Gabe tried to have sex with him. It irked him more that he was feeling instead of talking about it. Ryan ran out the front door, not really caring that his hair was a mess and he had no eyeliner on.
He just wanted out for once. He started freaking out, his breath getting quicker the further he walked from Gabe's place. His heartrate picked up, beating so quickly in his chest he was scared it'd give out. He stopped and closed his eyes, shaking from the cold and from his high emotions. Five senses. Fucking do it, fuckwit. He opened his eyes again and kept walking, this time slower and he stepped onto the grass so he didn't fall over. Ryan looked around, doing the five senses method Gabe had taught him. Soon enough, his heart rate decreased and he could breathe properly again.
He kept his pace slow once he was away from Gabe's house. He stepped back onto the ledge and continued walking. Ryan half expected Gabe to send him a text telling him to come back and that he was sorry. The other part of him was taunting him and telling him that he'd fucked up his friendship again. Ryan honestly wanted a break. His phone did ping but it wasn't from Gabe. It was Brendon.
Beebo!: Hey Ry. Wanna meet up? We haven't spoken since yesterday and its killing me L
Ryan smiled to himself at Brendon's words and quickly typed a reply.
Ryry: Sure man. Meet me at the corner store???
He continued walking towards the corner store, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. It's official. I hate this July weather. It fucking sucks dick. His teeth clattered together and he was sure he couldn't feel his toes at all now. He quickened his pace, almost running and slipping off the edge of the footpath.
Eventually, he made it to the shop and spotted Brendon sitting at one of the tables, coffee on the surface and phone in his hand. He was also rugged up in gloves, a beanie, a jacket and a scarf. He must be really fucking toasty. While Ryan only had on a jacket and his gloves.
He pulled out on of the chairs, the legs scraping along the concrete and alerting Brendon of his arrival.
'Hey, Ry. How are you?' Brendon asked and Ryan slowly felt his mood improving.
'Been better. You?' He checked the time on his phone. They had about half an hour before they had to be at school or Mr Hurley would hand them their asses on a silver platter.
'Aw. Ryan what's up? You look really scared.' Brendon commented, reaching across the table and grabbing onto Ryan's hand. And honestly, it's exactly what Ryan needed.
'I'm fine. Just had an argument.' Ryan admitted and squeezed Brendon's fingers slightly, earning a grin from Brendon. Ryan then stood up and Brendon followed suit, picking up his coffee.
'How about we skip school and go smoke somewhere? Or do a jam session?' Brendon suggested, trying to cheer his friend up. Ryan nodded, ignoring the warning that sounded very similar to what Gabe had told him a few days ago. Don't talk to Brendon. He's a stringy shit. He'll hurt you.
Ryan nodded and Brendon took Ryan's hand and gave him the coffee.
'The lady messed up my order. It's white with two sugars.' Brendon said and Ryan took a small sip and starting walking, clenching and unclenching his hand around Brendon's.
***
Both boys headed over to Ryan's to get his flute. They'd shared a cigarette and the last few milko's Ryan found in his pockets. Ryan still held onto Brendon's hand and his mood slowly picked up again. He led Brendon up his gravelled driveway until they reached the ladder perched under Ryan's open window, the curtains blowing slightly.
'Okay, we can't go through the front door. We'll trip the alarm and I don't have my keys.' Ryan lied. He didn't want to go through the front doors because he didn't want to deal with his father's wrath again.
'Okay, cool.' Brendon nodded and stubbed out the cigarette. He watched Ryan climb up the ladder and into his window.
Once inside, Ryan threw his school bag onto his bed and grabbed his flute, looking around for anything else he'd need. His room looked cold and empty. Despite his various belongings, the room looked dead. The bed was made, the shelves were tidy. Dust had collected on all the things that hadn't been touched in weeks. It made him sad. He tightened his flute strap with both of his hands and slowly walked around his room, running his fingers along all the dusty shelves and books. I miss this house being alive. And he really did.
Once his mother left, his house went from a thriving flower to a dead corpse in a matter of a few years. Ryan had only been seven when his mum left him. She'd claimed that she'd come back for him but she never did. And once she left, it was a downward spiral. His dad tried to raise him but gave up after a few years once Ryan was old enough to look after himself.
Now Ryan couldn't even step foot into his room anymore. He'd gotten used to the ghosts that lived here but it still really fucking hurt looking at it.
'Ryan?' Brendon called and Ryan shook his head. He swung his flute around his neck and jumped out the window and climbed down the ladder as quickly as possible without slipping.
'Let's go. Now!' Ryan mumbled and held onto Brendon's wrist briefly, trying to ground himself before he took off, running down the driveway. The sound of his shoes kicking the gravel gave comfort to him in an odd way.
Brendon frowned but followed after Ryan, trying to match his pace. Once they were a few houses away, Ryan felt like he could breathe again.
'What was that, Speedy Gonzalez?' Brendon questioned, eying Ryan's distressed state.
'No reason. Let's just go, okay?' Ryan didn't even give Brendon time to reply, just took his hand started walking, an unlit cigarette in his mouth.
They walked in silence, Ryan holding onto Brendon's hand tightly and Brendon eying Ryan's current state. His eyes were wide and a little glassy. He worried at his bottom lip and his hand holding Brendon's kept unclenching and clenching while the other was in a fist. His posture was hunched and he was so tensed Brendon was scared he's break a fragile bone.
'Seriously are you okay?' Brendon asked as they slowly turned onto his street. Ryan remained quiet and Brendon just shrugged, deciding to keep his mouth shut.
Brendon led Ryan into his house, making sure to keep a firm grip on Ryan. He took him upstairs to his bedroom and Ryan smiled slightly, his eyes shining.
'My mum left me and my dad's shit,' He blurted, surprising himself and Brendon. Shit. He sat down on the bed, hands on his knees and he looked at Brendon who was frowning again. 'I have no fucking clue why I'm telling you this but, I had a fight with Gabe and it's triggered everything. I just need to play my flute okay? For a good while. Please don't leave me alone.' He whispered the last sentence and Brendon's heart broke. Ryan was so sad and it hurt.
'Okay, I won't.' Brendon promised and watched Ryan get his flute out, his hands shaking slightly.
---
How's it going??
I went off plot a little and tried to drag it back in but, i ended up with this mess. I don't really like this chapter but, I don't have the inspiration to write anything else rn.
Yes, I did use a throam lyric. Please sue me :).
How do you like the new cover guys? The lovely @frankiezoid made it and I love it so much.
So, how did you like this?? I hope it showed character to Ryan and Gabe, not so much Beeden. Please tell me you're thoughts? I love feedback.
Ngl, I really love writing Ryan's character tbh. Idk why.
Also, I'm currently working on a new piece of writing. It's a collab with a few people and I'll explain it once it's done but I'm excited and its kinda cool.
Votes and comments are always appreciated and loved tbh.
((My biggest fear is that I come off as a bitch Im so sorry omg))
Xo, Riley.